Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Birth, Death, and an Obsession with Horses

I can’t remember when, exactly, I developed a deep love obsession for horses, but I was young. One of our neighbors boarded them, and let me ride if I came to the barn after school to brush them and fill their water buckets.

I was the luckiest girl in the world and I’m sure they figured I was worth putting up with for a couple hours a day in exchange for free labor.

Birth, Death, and an Obsession with Horses
It’s been years since I’ve been horseback riding. Sometimes I dream about it though.

I wake smiling, carrying that feeling of freedom. Flying through a field riding on a magnificent creature who is both gentle and full of more strength than imaginable.

There’s no feeling like it, that I know of.

The confidence of climbing down a mountain on a horse is something I’ve never felt on my own two legs. “Lean back,” they told us at Girl Scout Horsewoman camp.

And I did.

I’ve never been thrown off, but came close to it once, when another rider got too close to us, and her horse kicked mine.

***

On a surprise visit to my mom’s in Montana, we went riding. Just the two of us. As horses do, hers inflated his belly while she was saddling him, and we forgot to check again.

We hooped and whooped and galloped through a field. Until she screamed.

Halfway on and halfway off. Then, on the ground, unable to move.

I’ve never been good with directions, and ended up leaving my own mom in a field, while riding my horse holding the reigns of another back to where I hoped they remembered they lived better than I remembered.

They did, and we called 911, and rode back to the field.

My poor mom ended up having surgery on her arm the day I was supposed to fly back out.

She had a pin in her arm for years, and I remembered the time my cousin at my horseback riding birthday party. She fell off and broke her arm, too.

It was almost a year ago that Tucker and I kayaked in Chinquoteague to see horses thisclose.

While this post is about horseback riding, it’s also about the above photo.

It’s about birth, death, and an obsession with horses.

Each memory I’ve shared started at the barn at the beginning of the story. The barn I used to visit after school each day. I’d brush them, fill water buckets, and sometimes, I’d shovel muck. It was worth it for the riding, but it was more worth it for a birth and death experience that changed my life.

Cue (maybe Que?) pronounced “Cue” though was one of the horses on the neighbor’s ranch. She was pregnant, and due to give birth any day.

Their family called my family, and invited me to watch/help with her birth.

I can’t remember which parent said no, and which said yes, but yes won out, and my brothers and I got to go to the barn to “help.” (There’s no helping unless you know what you’re doing and I was 11 years old…)

Cue had a difficult birth. I wish I remembered more details, but I remember our parents made us go home way after bedtime, after seeing only part of her colt come out of her body.

We didn’t know enough to be grossed out. We were simply fascinated, and maybe a little embarrassed.

By the time we visited the next morning, Cue’s colt had been born, although he was still wobbly and fuzzy.

They let me name him.

His mom was white with black spots. He was pure black.

I chose an epic-to-an-eleven-year-old name. “Cue’s Bright Shadow.” Get it? I mean he’s a shadow but life is bright, right?

A few days later, Cue died.

I was devastated.

Gutted.

But her boy thrived.

He learned to run, and to nuzzle our hands.

He grew to hold riders. Other lovers of horses.

And this is how birth, death, and an obsession with horses is something I feel today, looking at one simple photo from the past.

I dug this one out, too. I *know* it’s share a photo and the story behind it, but sometimes, a similar photo taken decades later helps too.

obsession with horsesThis has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, where we’re now doing an old-school blogging prompt each week. This week’s is “Share a photo and the story behind it.” I host with the fabulous Kenya G. Johnson of Sporadically Yours.

 Loading InLinkz ...


  • Lizzi - Wow. You’ve sure had some amazing experiences. Did the colt get given the name you suggested? It’s pretty epic anyway. Poor Cue tho!April 27, 2018 – 1:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - They did keep the name I gave him. Or, at least, they told me they did. I know. Poor Cue! 🙁April 27, 2018 – 7:06 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - That’s so sweet of them. I hope they kept the name. To be fair, looking at the names they give pedigree racers, your choice is almost conservative by comparison 🤣April 28, 2018 – 2:21 amReplyCancel

  • Lydia - YOURE A HORSIE GIRL!? who knew? How sweet! Thats what we called the girls enthralled by horses when we were growing up… You were and are adorable by the way!April 27, 2018 – 5:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww poor Cue. I always said if I were rich I’d have a horse farm but I’d be rich enough not to have to do the gross stuff. Just have talking relationships with a bunch of animals. I’ve only ridden a horse one time and it wasn’t the best experience ever. I don’t actually want to do it again but I still think they are beautiful. My brother and his wife actually have two horses. I don’t even want to to hear the death story 🙁April 27, 2018 – 6:36 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know. Poor Cue!! I’d love to have a horse farm (and be rich enough to not do the gross stuff). That’s cool your brother and his wife have horses. And I know. Sorry about the death story 🙁April 27, 2018 – 7:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Wow, I could see how witnessing a birth of a horse, but also experiencing a death right after, could be life changing…they really are incredible animals. I am in awe of them — literally. I had a life changing experience with a horse too. I was very into horseback riding as a young camper at sleepaway camp. I was very confident, and fearless around them — until I was trying to put a bridle on one, who was eating his hay. No one ever told me not to bother a horse while it’s eating and I kept pulling his head away from his food — and he bit me on the leg. It was a more of a warning bite, but it still hurt my 9 year-old leg and bruised me for weeks. It was totally my fault and they tried to get me back on a horse a week later, but I was a mess. I cried and made all the other campers cry too.:) At the end of camp, they gave me an award, “most cheerful rider.” Haha…Long story short, I stayed away from horses for a long time after that, but did eventually get the courage to ride again a few times over the course of the next few decades – and loved every second of it. There’s even a picture of me in my wedding dress, petting a horse in Manhattan (one of the horse and buggy horses that I refuse to ever ride in because it’s mean). Anyway, despite my traumatizing experience, horses are awesome.April 27, 2018 – 9:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m in awe of them too, Emily. Truly. WOW to the horse that bit you on the leg. I’ve never been bitten but have always been nervous about it. Yikes. I’d cry too! LOL to the most cheerful rider award. I’m glad you got back on eventually. And I know right? The horse and buggy stuff in Manhattan is totally mean. Horses are awesome. But I’m sorry you had a bad story with one. That’s a bummer and life-changing I know.April 27, 2018 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Tom - I remember that! The Tates right? I remember Cue laying down, not sure at what point of your story that was, be it was burned into my memory. Good stuff!April 27, 2018 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes the Tates! Thanks, Tom! Funny how we remember some things so clearly and others? gah. xoxoApril 27, 2018 – 7:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa@TheGoldenSpoons - Aw!! I never rode horses when I was younger, but my two oldest girls have been taking lesson for years.I see that obsession through them. I have always been amazed at their courage to get up on those huge, yet gentle animals and take control. They have each developed special bonds with horses at the barn – and we have said goodbye to a few as well. My girls have taken a few spills forms heir horses, but only once has it cause an injury when Megan got a mild concussion from it. Last summer, my parents paid for my three girls & me to go on a trail ride. It was a tourist-y thing and the horses were, of course, well-trained & super calm. It was fun but also nerve-wracking for me!! My horse was Jack – after I got on they told me he used to be a wild mustang! I’m still not sure they if were kidding or not! 🙂 Love this story & the photos!April 27, 2018 – 1:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That’s so cool that your two older girls have been taking lessons for years although I’m sorry they’ve already had to say goodbye to a few. Wow to the wild mustang Jack! I bet they weren’t kidding. How cool that a wild animal can then become a friend to humans. Amazing and thank you! Was so glad you joined this week with such a sweet memory!April 27, 2018 – 7:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh Abby would so get this and the no sense of direction, too! She got lost one time in the woods behind our house. Thankfully while she inherited my sense of direction she got her dad’s sense of survival 🙂

    But the love of horses is definitely one you two share and you put it beautifully.April 27, 2018 – 3:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow to Abby getting lost in the woods and so glad she has her dad’s survival skills! Yikes though. Scary. And aw I love that we share a love of horses. Tell her I think she’s even cooler than I used to think which was amazingly cool.April 27, 2018 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I’ve learned something new about you. I had no idea you were obsessed with horses,..nor woul I have guessed it! Gorgeous writing And beautiful pictures!April 27, 2018 – 6:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well, I’m not as obsessed as I used to be but I think horses are pretty amazing for sure. And aw, thank you for your kind words! XOApril 27, 2018 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - I think it is all in how one is introduced to horses, or for that matter anything else, how you grow to appreciate that subject, animal, even person, that makes all the difference in the world. You had a wonderful beginning and I can see how you could come to love horses. I’m so impressed how you and your horse were able to make it back to where your mom had fallen off. What a painful break and long recovery.
    I enjoyed reading about your kayaking experience with Tucker too. That photo of Chief and Tucker is priceless!April 28, 2018 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re onto something regarding how we’re introduced to horses and everything else in life. It does make all the difference. I often wonder if Tucker grew up in Colorado rather here in DC/ Virginia if he’d be a skier but instead, he wants to make sure we visit the monuments here again before we move. I guess there’s something to all of it and thank you for reminding me of that. I’m still surprised too by the fact we were able (two horses and me) to get back to my mom. Awww to the photo of Tucker and Chief. We miss Chief (and younger Tucker too I guess). Thank you!April 29, 2018 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - I was often on my uncle’s farms growing up, but that was more cows and sometimes pigs, and even then I was skittish about walking through the barn and having the cow sniff at me. I never was around horses much, so I never developed comfort with them, from an early age.

    Don’t get me wrong, I think they are amazing animals, and I think it is beautiful how certain humans and horses bond and connect. The wild bit in them, the part that keeps them running, is awe inspiring. The history between horses and humans is, indeed, a complicated one, both good and bad.

    I had few experiences and the trust never developed in me, not that they are bad, but just that they are animals and I was afraid of falling, not seeing, just trusting. I wish sometimes I had more of the good and positive, that I could sit on one and it would take me, like a guide animal, being my ride with eyes.

    I tended to be afraid of them, sudden or unexpected moments of reaction. I was sensitive to smells. Still, I hear how most little girls wanted a pony and I was always the little girl that wanted a whale/dolphin instead, but no go.

    Funny you mention horses, as if I were to post a photo of a horse, I would post a picture I drew in seventh grade art class. I can’t remember now why I chose to draw a horse, but I used my dark pencil and my art teacher, who was good at the art thing even though he was also history/geography nd more, he helped me with the shading technique. Well, it was after that picture that I had emergency eye problems and lost my left eye and most of the remaining sight I’d had in my right. I’d never draw again, with that dark pencil. I have that old art class folder right here on the table next to me, as it was just recently rediscovered in the basement of things from the past. Funny, how these connections from one thing to another happen.

    This was one of your most beautiful posts, pieces of writing and memory Kristi. I may not be able to see the photos, but the whole link you experienced at eleven, same age I lost my ability to see that dark pencil’s line on the page, such different life stories.

    Life and death, all in a few days time. What a life lesson, in so many things.April 28, 2018 – 9:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think being around horses when you’re young is everything, when it comes to horses and other animals. I’m terrified of snakes but one of my first roommates loved them. The fact that horses allow us to ride them, to tame them, and yeah, I get that that the history there is complex, but different from say snakes, right?
      I’m on a tangent. Sorry.
      I wish you’d had more good experiences with horses. But I get why you didn’t and the smells — GROSS. Interesting that you chose to draw a horse back in art class. I’d love to read more about those memories, if you choose to write about them. And wow, thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. That means so much to me, from you who is amazing.April 30, 2018 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*

N e v e r   m i s s   a   n e w   p o s t !