It seems like just about everybody in the First World has an Elf on a Shelf. I watch elves misbehaving on Facebook, in blog posts, and on Twitter. Oh, you forgot to move the elf last night? He got into your wine? He wrapped himself in toilet paper?
Uhm… maybe you’re missing the point.
It’s possible that I read too much Stephen King when I was younger, but the elf is scary. His little plastic face is creepy, people!!! And what’s with his cheeks? Does he have Scarlet Fever? His eyes look like those shown in horror movies – the ones that follow you around room and then murder you while you’re sleeping.
I mean, I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, the thought of my dolls coming to life at night and moving around was terrifying. So this elf gets up and does naughty things while you sleep? I don’t see the fun in that. I don’t see how that’s cute or fun for my son Tucker, either. He loves his stuffed animals, and we play elaborate games with them. We bring them to life, he gets creative with them, we pretend to be gorillas and dolphins and frogs and it’s all imaginative play and simply awesome. But at no point have any of these animals come to life at night, moved around, and left us waking up trying to figure out where they went.
They could be anywhere at that point, right?
Elf may end up under your bed…
Tell me that I’m not the only mom on the planet who thinks that Elf on the Shelf is creepy and scary. The ugly, bug-eyed plastic dude reminds me of Pennywise the Clown or a too-skinny Chucky. I refuse to play along. Hey! With that visual, you could put him down the drain and play “IT” with your kids! Now THAT would be creative, if you’re looking for ideas.
I don’t get why an ugly, frightening $30 doll has become the new Christmas tradition.
Not familiar with Elf on a Shelf? Here he is. He’s also smug looking. I am the only one in my house allowed to look this smug, and even that is rare(ish).
This is what I think he’s actually like. Just in case you needed help getting on board with the elf-being-creepy-train.
Do you use Elf on a Shelf? Does it work? Do your kids get scared or do they think it’s fun?
*If somebody has already purchased us Elf on the Shelf as a gift, of course we’ll graciously accept him into our home it’s not too late to return it for something we actually want.
Note: I really mean it that I’m not judging you if Elf brings joy to your holiday season. I’m simply convinced that this would creep me out more than it would bring me fun Christmas memories.
Another Note: Although Elf on the Shelf gives me the heebie-jeebies, for the record, I have the upmost respect for its creator. When I Googled it to find out how much they are for the purpose of this post, I saw an article that said company revenue is $10M annually. So although I think that little doll would scare the shit out of my kid me, I totally admire the genius of their marketing department.
Another another note: A version of this post that no longer exists was originally published on Finding Ninee in December of 2012. Yikes, this blog is two years old now!