Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Five True Things about Learning from Life

The truth about learning from life is that it takes a long time to do so. Some things, like wanting to live with passion and purpose, or knowing the importance of giving our kids a magical childhood are born with us. Knowing how to make those things happen while living with stress and too-late-bedtimes isn’t as intuitive.   

In college, I thought that Statistics class would be impossible. At first, it was. I went to after-hours one-on-one lessons, moaned to my professor that “I’m probably too right-brained to ever get this,” but kept going. Luckily for me, he kept explaining, and letting me come. One day, after about eight weeks, it clicked. Not only did I understand calculating medians and why that matters over averages, but I was hooked. I got it. I ended up finishing that class with one of the highest grades in it after beginning it with my lowest.

Before Statistics class clicked, I believed that grasping the things that made it Statistics was impossible.

In high school and college, I thought my parents would never understand me. I dismissed their advice, assumed that it came from other eras and other DNA.

Before becoming a parent, I had all of the answers.

Tonight, I think about life lessons, and about what I learned last year, and in all of my years.

5 ways how to learn from life - finding ninee

Five True Things about Learning from Life

  1. The truth about learning from life is that it’s not going to happen today. Don’t even bother asking yourself what truths you learned this month. Because while you may now know the cheapest place to buy strawberries in your area, if there are big lessons brewing, they’ll need time to sit. And so will you.
  2. Children will surprise you in the very best and worst ways ever. Children will shock you, amaze you, and humble you. Listen to them. Sit with the lessons they give you because they know more about tomorrow than you do.
  3. Talk to children. You will shock them, amaze them, and humble them. Talk to them. Have them sit with the lessons you give because you know more about yesterday than they do, and yesterday’s lessons matter for the tomorrows.
  4. You’ll learn more listening than you will talking. I sat in a work meeting today, and I talked, way too much. I talked about how we need xyz numbers blah blah, and I got carried away in my agenda. Pausing and listening matters. That my son was at work, tap-tap-tapping on the door because he had to pee, and didn’t know where to go to do so was a good reminder of this. And a good reminder to listen to children. Maybe especially when they have to pee.
  5. Don’t overthink, but think about your decisions. Many of them, when made for the wrong reasons, are likely a little bit manic. Maybe, you’re trying to re-get a feeling you’ll never feel again. Maybe not. But, think about what you’re deciding, and why you’re deciding it. In reality, there often is no rush, unless Apple or Google just gave you 24 hours to accept a job in which case, rush, say yes, and wing it, ’cause that’s not going to happen often.
    Making decisions is part of life and I like to believe that there are no right or wrong ones – that just doing something is usually best. Still, think about what you’re going to do. Also, try to not hurt anybody. Ever. Most especially yourself.

Last year, I learned that my son has two worlds now. He built them in Minecraft. My son can build worlds, friends. Once, he wasn’t able to build words, much less worlds with an “L.” For me, this is one of last year’s lessons.

Questions kids ask - where did we get daddy from findingninee.com

As is that I’m totally unprepared to answer his daily questions. Yesterday’s:

“Why do girls pee from their bottoms?”
“When did we get Daddy?”
“Why do cats not like dogs?”

I give you these questions to remind you that we’re all working on learning, and on answering the tough questions in life. I probably think about the human race, and our significance weekly. But tonight? I’m thinking about how to answer why cats don’t like dogs, and thinking about what I’d like to figure out this year that is slightly more meaningful than that.

***
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. This week’s sentence is  “In 2015, I learned….” or “The one thing I learned in 2015 is…”
Your hosts:
Me (findingninee.com)
This week’s sentence thinker upper, Vidya from Collecting Smiles, and
Kerry of Her Headache

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  • Emily - I think we’re going to learn a lot just by reading each other’s posts here! I’m a big over-thinker sometimes (your #5), but I also think that sometimes comes with the territory of being a writer. We think a lot before we write (although not always – sometimes I just wing it). And, can I just say, I love Tucker’s questions! When did we get Daddy? That is awesome.January 28, 2016 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hope so, and I hope we all think about the big stuff as well as the small stuff and OMG I so very love Tucker’s questions as well!!! And gah to the overthinking. So right you are. Also why Daddy?? LOLJanuary 30, 2016 – 12:14 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I love, “When did we get daddy.” Because mom has certainly always been there. Awww. Christopher can talk my ear off now, more than I can process and keep up with – much less write down anymore. I cannot fathom a time when he won’t want to talk to me at all, so I embrace the wordiness.January 28, 2016 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that part too, Kenya, and will hang onto it for a long long time, I think! Oh please say these boys of ours will always talk to us!! I can’t imagine trying to navigate their worlds without their honesty. For real!!January 30, 2016 – 12:27 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I am most definitely learning here still daily and admit though as a teen I would never have said that and would have denied that vehemently along with the fact that my parents actually knew what they were talking about. So let’s just say I have come along way and still have so much to indeed learn still.January 29, 2016 – 4:35 amReplyCancel

  • Vidya Sury - Children are great reminders to pause, even if they keep us rushing around. They keep us grounded by their simplicity and logic. Sometimes I think their favorite place is outside our comfort zone, which makes us very lucky, or how else would we stretch and truly enjoy life!

    I love what you said about Statistics – I had pretty much the same thing about Accounting. Thought I hated it, until the moment when things clicked and I started loving it, the added bonus being that I actually had a pretty good head for it.

    My favorite line here is: Try to not hurt anybody. Ever.

    Life is wonderful, isn’t it? Hugs – so happy we’re connected! So much love in this post!January 29, 2016 – 6:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Children are awesome mostly and I am so lucky to have this boy to ground me as you say while he’s also rushing me around 🙂
      And LOVE that you had a similar experience with accounting!!!
      Here’s to not hurting others and to you, so kind to co-host with me again this week. Thank you!!!January 30, 2016 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - 2015 was one of my biggest learning years, I think, and you’re right about needing to sit with the things I’ve learned, and think about them. I’ve had possibly my biggest ever year of change for the better, for me, and I want to know that moving forward, I’m doing the best I can, not hurting anyone, and especially not hurting me.

    Kid questions are fun, though. Especially the “why?” ones, which I tend to answer in as complex a way as possible, to send the kid off into thought and preclude (or at least slow down) the next “why?”January 29, 2016 – 7:03 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Lovely post Kristi. I love that you point out we can learn from children and they can learn from us. It is two-way, and it needs to be – otherwise there’s no balance. We need to give and receive!January 29, 2016 – 7:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s so two-way, and I hope we’ll always remember that (as humans now and as humans always). xo thank you for your insight always.January 30, 2016 – 12:31 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - This is all kinds of wise: “Don’t overthink, but think about your decisions. Many of them, when made for the wrong reasons, are likely a little bit manic. Maybe, you’re trying to re-get a feeling you’ll never feel again. Maybe not. But, think about what you’re deciding, and why you’re deciding it.” Guilty of this, often. Maybe right now. Lots of decisions to make. Thanks. I need to read this.

    Have a good weekend! Tell Tucker that most cats are just mean…January 29, 2016 – 1:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie! You’re the bestest and yeah, I do that too. Which I guess is why I need to remind myself and also YAY for you agreeing that most cats are just mean 🙂January 30, 2016 – 12:32 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Love the questions asked by children. Best thing ever. My dog and cat are right here and I’ve asked for you, to hopefully try and get your child an answer, but they aren’t talking.
    🙂
    I try to listen a lot. I don’t know about statistics, but I do know how to really listen.
    Thank you for the invitation to join you as a co-host for the week with FTSF. I am happy I did.January 29, 2016 – 2:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to your cat and your dog not talking, Kerry!! HA! I guess they will not make it that easy for us. And I’m so very glad you co-hosted this week. Thank you for wanting to and for doing so and for all of your thoughts, always.January 30, 2016 – 12:34 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Grewe - So many things I needed to hear. Yes I overanalyze and overthink things way too much, but as much as I talk, I do listen more than I speak, and that should terrify people. But I do. I listen to the words, compare them to behavior patterns, watch body language, and psychoanalyze. It’s part of the overthinking 🙂January 29, 2016 – 3:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Statistics class – it’s because you truly learned, rather than just memorized. What a difference. And how cool that you kept at it.
    I love kid questions so much.January 29, 2016 – 3:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Aw!!! I just love this message, Kristi! ALL of it!! Slow and steady, listen more and learn how to leap without overthing it. I can relate to SO much of all of this.

    So when DID you get Daddy? Hmm… 🙂January 29, 2016 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Can’t agree with you more on the listening to your kids and have them listen to you front. So often it’s the parents’ way or no way at all, I find. I certainly wasn’t the perfect mom to my two – Ha! Pass the wine please – however I did make a point of trying to listen to them. Lot harder at the end of a long week … but still, I tried.January 29, 2016 – 6:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Passing the wine for sure to you always and yeah, the listening is WAY harder at the end of the week, especially after um 9 NINE snow days ehre!!!January 30, 2016 – 12:37 amReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Alex loves roller coaster rides, I can endure far more than I’d ever want to and great friends are still your friend in bad times. Also, it is okay to say it hurts sometimes that I can’t help Alex motre.January 29, 2016 – 9:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - When did we get Daddy? That’s hilarious. Talk less, listen more – that should be everyone’s mantra. I know it should be mine. Even when the words are coming out and I’m babbling on and on, I know this. I need to learn how to stop.January 29, 2016 – 9:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - When did we get Daddy might be one of my favorite questions EVER ever from him and yeah, listening more is big huge. Me too, me too, me too. xoJanuary 30, 2016 – 12:39 amReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - I am learning love is unconditional and it can be shown instead of said.

    I have learned the boy I dreamed of having stinks compared to the boy I have!

    Listening can be done by watching and giving in isn’t the worst thing in the world.

    I am learning it is okay to do take out now and again especially when we are sick.

    I am learning the being a good role model and parent is more important than any mishugosh I’d have normally gotten into protecting my son. Teaching him conflict resolution is important.

    I am learning Kristi Campbell and several other Mom bloggers of children with special needs are the bombdiggity and my personal heroes. I admire their courage in sharing their journey.January 29, 2016 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HELLZ yes to take-out, always and you’re an amazing parent and can’t compare yourself to anybody and protecting your son is EVERYTHING and I boo to the fact you’re sick 🙁
      And all of us parents who are parenting are amazing and YOU JT are amazing.January 30, 2016 – 12:41 amReplyCancel

  • Mardra Sikora - I would like a whole post dedicated to answering – When did we get daddy?
    Love, MsJanuary 29, 2016 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Clark Scottroger - very nicely done… ime the search for answers often, somehow, manages to insinuate a pre-condtion on the (future) answers, way too often the answer can never before because of this (whatever the hell that means!)

    since I like famous sayings so much (famous and made up by other people, most of the time), I will contrinbute my favorite, usually attributed to the wise old Master, who after being pestered by the acolytes all day will, in all seriousness, “if you have to ask the question, you can’t understand the answer”

    …damn! lol (this answer is only cool if you’re the wise old Master, otherwise it’s a wth!?! answerJanuary 30, 2016 – 12:18 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - It’s so true that we learn so much from children! I believe my biggest evolution as a human being happened after I had kids!January 30, 2016 – 12:39 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa Sadikman - I think that point about listening rather than talking is dead on. I talk so much because I’m afraid of the silence and coming off as not knowing – especially as my kids get older and smarter. They DO have enlightening opinions and it’s ok if I don’t always know the answer. Love Tucker’s questions and worlds and you ❤️January 30, 2016 – 12:46 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Love YOU Lisa and isn’t it kind of weird that they know so much from other people? I get continually surprised by how much Tucker knows outside of what he knows from me, if that makes sense…January 30, 2016 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily Nichols Grossi - When did we get Daddy? Isn’t that priceless. I love it! Sitting with things and staying open, too! Yes! xoJanuary 30, 2016 – 1:09 amReplyCancel

  • Lola Marguerita - Yes…those are the questions indeed…only a wise person could answer them.January 30, 2016 – 2:54 amReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Kristi I ❤️ U but I am a fraud. I am just making it up as I go the best way I can. Balancing homework and amusing my son with attempts at healthy meals. The days I do take out or drive thru I feel so guilty.

    I try and protect my son but often fail and even worse embarrass him.

    I love u but I am a fraud making it up as I go! Intentions are A+ but results may not be in the end.

    Thanks for being so kind to all of us out here just making it up as we go hoping
    And praying our children will be as happy and healthy as possible. ❤️U and all the Mom bloggers!!January 30, 2016 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Honey! Take-out and drive-thru and crappy Chili’s in wherever Florida are FINE. It’s food, and it’s an experience and we (and our kids) learn from each of them!!! All of us make it up as we go. For real.January 31, 2016 – 9:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - You are so wise, darling Kristi. These all feel so true for me, but this one really grabbed my heart and mind: “If there are big lessons brewing, they’ll need time to sit.”January 31, 2016 – 7:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden Spoons - Love your lessons – especially the listen more than we talk one. We tell our kids that all the time. My hubby likes to say “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.” Funny – but true! 🙂February 1, 2016 – 2:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that expression from your husband, Lisa! LOL and so so true! 🙂February 2, 2016 – 6:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - I leave you with these two thoughts: 1. Why do girls pee from their bottoms? and 2. You’re son made two worlds in Minecraft? You’ve lost him, that’s it, he’ll never look at you than more than someone who imposes a bedtime and get between him and the worlds….I also mourn the loss of my youngest to League of Legends.February 2, 2016 – 5:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh no! I’ve lost him already? He’s only six! Yikes!!! And lol to girls peeing from their bottoms. I think it may be time to buy an anatomy book.February 2, 2016 – 6:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - I’m learning that the best lessons and the hardest and the things most worth knowing are the hardest to learn. I’m also parenting a very emotional tween. I think there may be a connection, but my brain is too fried to find it! LOLFebruary 2, 2016 – 10:53 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL Rabia! Maybe you’re getting the lesson now that parenting an emotional tween requires wine?? That’d be my personal take-away.February 2, 2016 – 6:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Full Spectrum Mama - LOVE your sense of wonder and humor. Yay – so glad to have found this blog.February 10, 2016 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

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