Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Once, when I was bored out of my mind…

…I removed all of my clothes, shoes, purses and scarves from my closet.  I then vacuumed, dusted each individual hanger and shelf, donated the pieces that I either haven’t worn in two years or will never again fit into, and then polished my polishable shoes.  Because all keepables were already piled on the bed, I figured that while restocking my closet, I should go ahead and organize.  What.  I told you I was bored out of my mind.  To organize, I found that the best method for me is to have each item sorted.  First by item type, then by size and finally by color.   This method saves me valuable time each morning browsing though my clothes and accessories while trying to decide how to put the perfect outfit together.

Impressive right?

Yeah, and it’d be even more impressive if it weren’t a big fat lie.  As in complete utter bullshit.  I have never been this bored.  Ever.  I enter my closet while dust bunnies fly to the corners and look at business clothes that have gone unworn since Tucker was born and try to throw something together that will fit my new bigger boobs and sexy backfat every morning.  And every morning, I think to myself that I really should clean the dusty bitch out.  But.  Not that bored.  And I probably never will be.

With that said, of course, I’d love for somebody else to come tackle the project for me.  Wanna make a quick $100?  Come over this weekend, do the above and it’s yours.  But if you touch my “Shut up and jump!” skydiving sweatshirt from the 90’s that consists of more dust than it does cotton fibers?  Get ready for me to release a can of whoop-ass on you.  Oh and leave those much-too-small ugly brides maid dresses stuck in a bin under the bed alone, too.  One never knows when she’ll need a dress and might need to quickly dye, cut and alter one that is so out of fashion that it’s surely just about back in.  Fine.  $200.

Any takers?

Finish the Sentence Friday

Finish the Sentence Friday is hosted by:

Dawn’s Disaster (Twitter, Facebook)

  • christine - THAT was an awesome way to finish the sentence. I was believing you at first. It was the polishing of the shoes that told me it was all bullshit.March 22, 2013 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Laughing out loud about polishing the shoes. I wondered how far to take it. Thanks, Christine!March 22, 2013 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Tom Cahill - Actually, that job is right up my alley, especially the shining of shoes. I actually have my own shoe shine box, with a variety of polishes and creams, fine brushes and buffing towels. Being OCD, and with very good vision, I see all the dust and dirt, am very handy around a vacuum and take great satisfaction while admiring my finished handiwork. I just tackled our entire house this winter(early Spring cleaning)(garage and storage room included)for a brunch Bernice had planned for about 50 people. Tremendously satisfying after hanging all Bernice’s paintings around the newly cleaned surfaces throughout the house.
    Pay mileage, put me up, feed me and no less than $250 and I’m yours!March 23, 2013 – 12:37 amReplyCancel

    • admin - hahah Tom, okay I will pay you, feed you and entertain you for crazy…but the plane ticket? Hmmm…..and how did I never know that you have a shoe-shine box?? OH and my paintings? They are in a closet here, somewhere or, maybe a dumpster, elsewhere…SHIT I am dumb.March 23, 2013 – 12:48 amReplyCancel

      • Tom Cahill - What plane ticket? I’m driving my Porsche Cayenne down so I can bring my shoe shine tox!March 23, 2013 – 2:02 amReplyCancel

        • admin - Hahah! Only you would drive a Porsche down to come shine my shoes. You’re awesome.March 23, 2013 – 9:13 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - This totally made me laugh and one suggestion…Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Yes, I actually do catch up on my DVR at bedtime and just watched this episode where he got his kicks from organizing his friend’s closet. Seriously, I need a life, because this is what I thought of immediately, lol!! Great post and thank you as always for linking up with us!! 🙂March 23, 2013 – 7:08 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Janine, that’s really funny. And how sad is it that I’ve never seen The Big Bang Theory? Sad, right?
      Thanks for hosting and commenting!March 23, 2013 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - At first I was worried you were going some place naughty when you removed all your clothes! And wondered how you were going to draw that Then I was prepared to wonder how we could b friends if you are a Martha Stewart clone.

    Phew it was all a bad if funny dream.March 23, 2013 – 8:13 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Kerri,
      Heheh! I should include a drawing but what do I draw? Plus, the bonus? I did this post in like 5 minutes. Adding drawings would have made it instead take a couple hours. 😀March 23, 2013 – 9:15 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - Kill Tom, or clone him. WHAT??! I thought you were serious and I thought that chick is a big fat liar. Then you admitted being a liar and I loved you more. High-larious, but come on, not even one drawing or actual photo of you in your shut up and jump sweatshirt? I still own the sweatshirt I was wearing in that photo of when I was following the dead. So we’re even. BTW dirty secret; I can organize other people’s stuff like the wind, but I don’t polish shoes. Not ever. Not even for 200 clams. Well maybe.March 23, 2013 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

    • admin - I know…I suck at not adding any artwork or a photo to this. The fact is that I was home ALL DAY with my sick little boy and really need to work and catch up on bloggie stuff…so I slacked off a little bit. I’ll have to make up for it later.
      And I’d still pay you $200 to come organize all my crap. No shoe polishing required.March 23, 2013 – 10:13 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - No thank you sister!! You can have it, been there – done that minus the color coding. (Sharing the post on TALU next week). You got me, I was reading the first paragraph like, “Wow. Impressive.” Because of our three/four year moves in the military, my closet at least got organized that often. Then we came here and never left and my closet was approaching 10 years unorganized. The only thing that wasn’t still in there was my before clothes and maternity clothes but I still had A LOT of work to do.March 23, 2013 – 10:10 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Kenya, moving is THE BEST way to get organized, because you have to. At least you got rid of your maternity clothes. Mine are sitting in a plastic bin. In my closet. Ach.March 23, 2013 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry Kosky - I was thinking “Oh, no, crazy person alert…and I just approved her comment on my blog!!!!” Phew, so glad it was BS. My grown son is a neat freak and he cleans out my closet twice a year. Love it!!! Going to read all your posts.March 23, 2013 – 11:17 amReplyCancel

    • admin - I’ll bet you were thinking crazy person alert! Glad you kept reading to realize that I am, in fact, quite lazy and would never take the time to do my closet like that. Can you send your son over here? Thanks, Kerry!March 23, 2013 – 2:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Are you sure you weren’t just describing MY closet? Between the dust, and the work outfits that I haven’t worn in oh, 15 years, it’s a scary sight indeed. The only thing that is organized in my closet are my yoga pants and tennis clothes…a girl’s gotta have priorities! I figure that maybe when the boys are in college, I’ll get my act together and clean closets…until then, I plan to just not think about it. How’s that for some denial?March 23, 2013 – 11:39 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Emily, your priorities sound spot on. And I think waiting until the boys are in college to clean out the closet is perfect. 😀March 23, 2013 – 2:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Haha! You totally tricked me! I have my closet organized according to color. Impressive right? It would be, were it not for the 12 year old Halloween costumes and clothes that are two sizes too small also taking up space. I will NOT be bored enough to take on that project anytime in the next decade. Love you friend!March 23, 2013 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Really? You were believing it? Well…considering you’re one of the nuts who actually DOES organize according to color…
      Love that you have 12 year old Halloween costumes. So awesome. And love you back. Mwah!March 23, 2013 – 2:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean Heff - Nice work. My grandpa used to tell us long winded stories that always ended with “I’m pulling your leg! Hahahahaha!”
    Closets for moms are scary places- they always have at least one piece in there that brings our self esteem to our knees.
    Why no closet drawings? 🙂March 23, 2013 – 12:32 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - So true that things in our closets can bring our self esteem to low, low depths. Agh. And no closet drawings because I couldn’t figure out what to draw and already was late to the party with the post. Without drawing, I was able to write this quickly and link up. Drawings would have taken me a lot longer. But now I feel guilty about it. I’ll have to make up for none yesterday with more tomorrow or something…March 23, 2013 – 2:36 pmReplyCancel

      • Jean Heff - Oh,stop. Don’t feel guilty! Writing our blogs should be our happy places. I do love the pictures though!March 23, 2013 – 8:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Maggie Amada - Oh Man. I was reading on thinking you are the most organized and disciplined person I’ve ever met. When you called B.S., I laughed. It’s so true that I will never be bored enough to clean my closet. I think I’d rather cook a five course meal every day for a week. That being said, I do have to go through my daughter’s closet and get rid of anything 3T and below. (Sigh). I’m trying to find ways to get my daughters engaged in the effort so I’m not stuck doing it all by myself.March 23, 2013 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Glad I gave you a chuckle! And yeah, I need to go through my son’s closet and drawers, too. They grow so fast and those little clothes are out the door way before they’re worn out.
      Ooh and if you cook a five course meal every day for a week, can I come live with you that week? 😀March 23, 2013 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - You got me! I was with you through the whole lie. Probably because it all sounded so delightful. Well, delightful to have DONE! The reason I don’t do stuff like that is because it would never, in a million years, stay that way. So why bother?March 23, 2013 – 3:22 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Yay! I wondered if I’d taken it too far. I thought for sure that the part about planning my outfit would be a dead give-away that I was totally lying. And indeed. Why bother? So much better stuff to do each day…March 23, 2013 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - You are so funny! I’ve been doing some spring cleaning myself. It is so hard to let go of things. I move them from pile to pile to pile–and then I still have trouble parting with the item. Maybe it is parting with the memory? I wouldn’t be any help. But you did crack me up. Good luck, Kristi!March 23, 2013 – 4:12 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks, Linda. So glad I’m not alone with my piles-o-crapola!March 23, 2013 – 4:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom - You’re gonna laugh at me, but I’m so anal, I actually enjoy organizing and cleaning things like my closet. I don’t even have to be bored. I know. Whackadoo. What time should I be there? Mama needs a new pair of boots; $200 should just about do it. LOLMarch 23, 2013 – 6:23 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Mod – I’m not really laughing at you as much as I’m in awe of your anal traits. But maybe a little whackadoo. Haha, come by anytime!March 24, 2013 – 10:24 amReplyCancel

  • [email protected] - You really had me going! Totally made me feel like I should rush to my closet and give it a good cleaning. Imagine my relief to hear it was all just a lie! Now I don’t have to feel bad about my closet dust bunnies, I mean, those guys are like family now!March 24, 2013 – 2:53 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Misty,
      Yes, relax. Those dust bunnies do really start to become like family, don’t they? 😉March 24, 2013 – 10:25 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Hi Kristi! Oh yes, we’re never that bored to clean the closet out (at this stage, who knows what we’d find!) Thanks for sharing this hilarious post!March 24, 2013 – 3:22 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks, Michelle! Indeed, I’m sure that there are some pretty embarrassing clothes hidden in the dark recesses.March 24, 2013 – 10:26 amReplyCancel

  • clark - (…and getting to your FST-FRIDAY on Sunday morning says absolutely nothing about my keeping up…lol)

    …hey, the Wakefield Doctrine will predict that, while totally non-organized, your secret interesting/fun/get-pleasure-without-being-able-to-define-it part of your closet is the floor.
    Shoes have an interesting place in the reality of clarks, particularly clarklike female people.
    It is a relatively safe bet that somewhere in your closet, among the proper, sensible, my-god-when-can-I-take-these-off shoes and over by the very well worn slippers/house shoes (‘…I can’t believe you still wear those, you don’t even remember when you got them’) is a pair boots that you love.
    These boots are more utilitarian in design than anything else in the closet and… are more conducive to a good state of mind than anything else on the floor… *and* they also generate more than one “…seriously, you’re not really going to wear those to the…” comment from friends and family members.
    Thought I should share that… lolMarch 24, 2013 – 11:34 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Hahah, Clark! That’s perfect. I so have those boots. Two pairs actually. I’ve been known to pair them with dresses that they completely do not go with.
      And I’m really late to commenting, too…sigh…
      Thanks!March 24, 2013 – 2:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie DeNeen - Now see, I would do that. I think that makes me kinda sick in the head. Most of the time, I ignore dirt and clutter. But sometimes, I hit this threshold, and then I’m a TOTAL MANIAC. 🙂March 24, 2013 – 3:15 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Knock me over with a feather, it’s the famous Julie DeNeen! Here! On Fiinding Ninee 😀
      Thanks dude. And anytime you hit a threshold and have nothing left at your house to clean? Feel free to stop by.March 24, 2013 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Sexy back fat made me laugh out loud. Ha! I was reading the first paragraph thinking…really? I would never peg her as one for dusting her hangers. Who does that??? Glad to know your more in my ballpark, living with the dust bunnies. And no,I don’t want to clean your closet. Well, maybe for $200. but I’d have to pay for airfare and all, so never mind.March 24, 2013 – 4:10 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Kate! Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks it’s nuts to dust her hangers. Sorry about the airfare barrier. Sigh. And yeah, backfat sucks. There’s just no suckin’ that stuff in.March 24, 2013 – 7:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Paula J - Hi Kristi! Thanks for stopping by my blog and linking up with my NO RULES Weekend blog party, and for following! I’ve returned the follows :)) Hope you’re having a nice weekend!

    lifeasweknowitbypaula.blogspot.comMarch 24, 2013 – 5:12 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks Paula, for hosting and for the return visit! I appreciate it and your NO RULES Weekend Blog Party, too. 😀March 24, 2013 – 7:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Love&Giggles - Me, me, me!!!!!! I will come over right now!March 29, 2013 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Okay, get over here already. I’m washing the sheets in the guest bedroom now.March 29, 2013 – 7:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - You are describing my closet!! 🙂April 3, 2013 – 3:13 amReplyCancel

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