Halloween costumes pretty much suck for women. Unless, of course, you want to be a Wonder Woman Skank and jiggle along the sidewalks of your neighborhood wearing tights while pretending that you’re 25 years 15 years younger.
I’ve never been the Sexy Nurse, the Sexy Wonder Woman Skank, the Sexy Vampire (ok maybe I tried but I did not show cleavage or legs or really, much of anything).
I’m a big believer in Halloween Fun and in dressing up. One Halloween, my two best friends and I dressed as the three little piggies. And went to the party with an Orthodox Jewish Wolf, so that he wouldn’t eat us. On another, my friends and I were three skeletons.
I’ve been a vampire and a Firestone tire, back when they caught fire and exploded. I’ve seen a One Night Stand hook up with The Girl Next Door. And now, I have a four-year old son who has been an alligator (a crocodile?). I was the alligator/crocodile/monster Ghetto-Mom-Version alongside him…
Tucker has been a cowboy…
And a red-costumed fireman.
I’ve shown my support by dressing (almost) as an alligator (a crocodile?), a horse for the cowboy, and a put-out fire, for the fireman.
This Halloween, Tucker’s obsessed with Super Heroes and wants to be Superman. Of course, I want to support him and dress the family up in theme. But there’s no way that I’m shamefully strutting around my neighborhood, like a skank, in a pair of tights with my boobs hanging out (you’re welcome, neighbors). So what to be?
Why Super Mom and Super Dad, of course! Easy! I tried to make a costume. I got those iron-on t-shirt decal things, got on PhotoShop, made a Super Mom logo, and plugged in the iron. It took a few tries to print it the right size, flipped (so that it would transfer correctly) and get the M in the background justright. Finally, after making my husband print one or five, because I’d used up all of my printer ink in the process, I got it! Success! I got down on the floor (because we don’t own an ironing board), and got to work with my Super Mom iron-on decal.
The paper stuck to the shirt more than the colors did, and I ended up with this stupidity.
No worries! I like to draw. I decided to break out the expensive paint pens and get to work. If the lines weren’t completely straight, that’d just add to the whole thing, I figured. Apparently, there’s a secret to drawing on fabric and nobody’s told me what it is.
So I gave up and, in keeping with my I’m-not-crafty-and-don’t-understand-the-language-of-people-who-are Ghetto-DIY style, I simply printed out a paper logo and glued it to my shirt. Over the miss-matched line I’d previously drawn. And then, I added a ketchup stain for Super Mom authenticity.
And ta-da! Presenting, The Supers, Ordinary Edition.
In case you’re wondering whether Robert’s been on a steady diet of cheese, puffs, and Halloween candy recently, he actually purchased a fake belly. To make it funnier. Sometimes? He’s so much more dedicated than I am. What about you? Tell me about your Halloween?
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s sentence is “One Halloween, I…” Or maybe “Once, on Halloween, I…” same thing really, right?
Your super-spooky Halloween Hosts:
Janine: Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate: Can I get another bottle of whine?
Stephanie: Mommy, for Real
me: finding ninee