Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

On Finding Grace In Kindergarten

So, some of you know that I’m more than a little worried about my son Tucker starting kindergarten on Tuesday (OMFG deep breaths). I’m worried that he’ll be picked on, that he’ll give up on the academics and language that he’s already behind on, and I’m beyond sad and sadsasd, that it’s the beginning of the end of his childhood.

It’s a milestone. Possibly and probably one that I’m having a much harder time coming to terms with than he is. The part that comes from what has been, to what is, to what will be, is unknown, and hardhard. But also beautiful and supposedto be.

Guess what mom? I

Tucker has no idea what kindergarten means. And, let’s face it – neither do I, when it comes to his upcoming experiences.

Adults have a tendency to idolize childhood. It makes sense of course, especially as a parent. Witnessing our children experiencing childhood is likely much more magical and awe-inspiring than actually living childhood was for us, or is for them.

I think it’s okay to say right here, and right now, that it’s okay to be sad that our sons and daughters are moving on and up and into kindergarten. Our babies are entering a new and unknown realm, whether they are typical or have special needs and an IEP.

I cannot promise you that it will all be fine, any more than I can promise myself that it will be.

What I can promise is that all of us, with all that we have, will do everything we can to make it as fine as we can, and that even when we’re not doing enough, that we are doing enough.

For them, and for ourselves.

And when we can’t make it fine, we will look at alternatives and options and we will find the grace that exists in accepting that knowing and not being in control is okay.

When we don’t know, and are not in control, we will become the grace.

I think that I can promise that.

Through this panic and worry and impossible can’t breathe but breathing anyway place we’re in, we are going to listen and live.

We will try our best to pay attention and we will embrace this kindergarten thing like we’ve embraced all of the things. I have faith in us, mamas. I have faith that while we are terrified to leave them at school, that we will. We will have faith that they will be safe there, even though not all kindergartners have been.

We will have the grace to accept that we need to have faith. We will climb to the top.

climb to top

And we will run and play and celebrate and live.

Trampoline place tucker

I can also promise that all of us, on this cusp that we’re on, did something this weekend to mark the end of summertime, and the beginning of the end of childhood as it exists in our lives.

For some of us, it may have meant an extra kiss at bedtime, or the fact that we studied the features in our aging child’s face once he finally fell asleep, identifying the baby-hims in it. Seeing that the shape of the skin beneath his eyes is still the same, and noticing that the innocence and the beauty is there, although changed and more aware.

Some of us may have made the last-minute decision to go to (another) amusement park this weekend, knowing that it was possibly more for us than for our baby who is no longer a baby.

Here, loves, are the moments that witness my own son’s grace. And in his, I see my own.

I am so very very thankful. For him.

For all of it.

For the grace, and the fear, too.

For the amazing places that mean that summer has not been forgotten and that summer has been celebrated. That Charlie Brown is loved in the heat, as well as in the snow of his Christmas special.

Tucker and Charlie

That we will continue to seek thrills, together:

Tucker and mom on rc

That sometimes, even though the hurt of “I am moving on without needing you, mom” means flying:

Flying2

And jumping, and landing softly…

And that it also means being able to climb out.

 

Ten Things of ThankfulYour hosts: A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, Mother of Imperfection, Rewritten, Thankful Me, The Wakefield Doctrine

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  • clark - no! frickin! way! I am FRIST
    Damn!
    (1st rule of FRIST Claim FRIST first read, second)September 1, 2014 – 6:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - WHOOT!September 1, 2014 – 12:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Considerer - You are NOT! I GOT THIS. I just agreed, VERY EARLY, while it was still being edited TO WAIT. But I claimed Frist then and there :pSeptember 2, 2014 – 4:47 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - How lovely was this? My little adventurous friend will be king of the playground! My prediction!
    Oh yeah….NOT FRIST!!! BITE THAT CLARK!!! HAHASeptember 1, 2014 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA you bit Clark? Nice! Er wait, um what? And yeah, I think he might be pretty awesome on the playground. It’s the rest of it! But I know I know… and thanks, Zoe.September 1, 2014 – 12:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - One day behind you and we start on Wednesday, but like you trying my best to have all the hope in the world and see all the good in it, but damned if I say not an emotional wreck here still this morning thinking about it all. Wishing Tucker a ton of luck and best wishes tomorrow and of course you too my friend. Love you and hugs 🙂September 1, 2014 – 8:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m really jealous of that one day. Tell me that’s weird? Ok fine it’s not weird because it’s ONE MORE DAY. But still. I know I know I know… and Sending you huge hugs and peace and knowing of all of the knowings that Emma and Tucker and Scarlet will be FINE and perfect and amazing and well, them. But please text me too when you’re texting Tamara? M’kay? I have my moms here that are already texting. Thank God for them!!!
      Love you back and huge ginormious hugs at you.September 1, 2014 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

      • Janine Huldie - Ok, now I am jealous that you will get it over and done with tomorrow and sitting here still a bundle of nerves. I adore you tons and seriously promise to text you. Love you and larger then life hugs back at you tonight!!!September 1, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - OH! Crap! I didn’t mean to make you jealous – YOU HAVE ONE MORE DAY!! But yeah I totally get that getting it over with is hugebig, and yes, please, let’s text. Maybe we can agree to meet at a virtual Starbucks and promise to not cry enough to scare the other people?September 1, 2014 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

          • Janine Huldie - I totally know you didn’t mean that and still see how crazy these emotions have gotten me. I swear I have been walking around do today even more so as we are closing in on it with a lump the size of Texas in my throat. And by the way, the Starbucks virtual chat sounds great. Would have Lily with me though, but still you made me smile more the you know with that! 😉September 1, 2014 – 11:02 pm

  • Tamara - Friday here. Hi, I’m Tamara. And I’m terrified of kindergarten. Help me.
    This post is reading like my prayer and my mantra right now.
    Yesterday Scarlet went to the fair without me and did some harness jumping thing and I thought, “Well, she’s flying away, isn’t she?”
    And then she came back.September 1, 2014 – 9:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - And then she came back. That my love, is what I needed to read. and OMFG. How how how do people do this? How do they? I mean, I know they do it and do it and do it and it all gets better and bigger and awesomer but really? How, exactly, does this letting go thing work? You and Janine better text me please? Please?September 1, 2014 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Deep breaths! You got this!September 1, 2014 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you, Kerith. I know, I know, but I need every reminder that I get so thank you so much.September 1, 2014 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Clark Scottroger - …I repeat. hoky smoke!*
    Evocative as always… you have his back (in all the ways that are important) and he knows it (in ways that he might not think it’s necessary to acknowledge). That’s all we (as children and adults) can hope for, no?
    Now…the last minute trip to the amused park, that is what (the child inside me) reminds me is a cool parent.

    * old cultural referenceSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It is okay to be sad. It’s an end, but it’s a beginning. And you’ll be in my heart tomorrow, as Tucker goes to school and flys.September 1, 2014 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Dana. He WILL fly, I hope. I appreciate being in your heart tomorrow. I know that it will matter and does matter and, well, all of the things. Thank you.September 1, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - If it helps any, I had all these same fears about the twins going into high school this year. It’s natural to worry. I have no doubt Tucker will do fine. He’s an amazing kid.September 1, 2014 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG high school. I was such an asshole in high school. And yes, it helps, so thank you. Big.September 1, 2014 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Beautifully said. You so well capture the bittersweetness of it all. Thank you!September 1, 2014 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you huge, Elizabeth. I’m sortof in shock that it’s happened so quickly. Feels like Tucker was a baby just well, a few months ago? Bittersweet is the perfect word.September 1, 2014 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • KeAnne - Hugs and good luck tomorrow! I hope you both have a great day and first week. We survived ours although I think we already have a cold. Awesome 😉September 1, 2014 – 12:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, KeAnne! A cold? Well, it almost figures, I guess. Sigh. I’m so glad that you survived yours well!!September 1, 2014 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie @ The Latchkey Mom - I was thinking about you today and hoping you were okay. I think you would feel this way, on the cusp of kindergarten whatever the situation. Tucker is your first born AND your baby – so you’re feelings are magnified. Your fears are valid, but I truly believe he will fly:)! Hang in there momma.September 1, 2014 – 12:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Allie, for reminding me that it’s totally normal and for saying that Tucker is my first born (because I still could have many babies!!!). I think he’ll fly, too… but thank you… xooxSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - I have faith in all Kindergarten teachers to love, honor and cherish the essence of 5 year-olds everywhere. Always harder on the moms. I remember crying my eyes out when my daughter started Kindergarten. She was fine and happy. Me, not so much. September 1, 2014 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I am a very non-confrontationl person and I avoid fights at all costs – except when it comes to my kids. I have confronted people and said things and done things I never thought I could do in the name of making things right for my kids. I hope you don’t have to fight to make things fine for Tucker, but if you do I know you will. And, yay, for last minute summer celebrations – we stayed in the pool far too late last night splashing and laughing, knowing it probably won’t happen again until next summer. Hugs to you, friend! I know tomorrow will be hard, but you all come out on the other side with a smile and new found grace & love!September 1, 2014 – 2:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Lisa!! I so very much hope that I don’t have to fight for things to be right for Tucker either, but it’s a big change that nobody tells us about! He’s got an advantage in that he’s been riding the bus, goes to school, etc. But this is a new school, new bus, new teacher, new ALL OF IT, and well, sigh he’s super shy and scared. I bought him a $50 lego thing today after he cried about going to school without me tomorrow. DOH. I’m so happy you spent the time last night in the pool. I wish I lived there so that we could come and hoard at your pool!! <3September 1, 2014 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - You and Tucker would be welcome at our pool anytime! My girls would love to “baby-sit” him while you and I sipped margaritas. Ahhhh, sound absolutely lovely!September 2, 2014 – 5:31 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - So, um, how far of a drive is it again?September 2, 2014 – 8:04 pmReplyCancel

          • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m in central NC – takes me about 5 hours to DC. But, we’ll be closing the pool soon. 🙁 Maybe next summer! Though, you are still welcome anytime!September 3, 2014 – 4:28 pm

  • Tracie - “When we don’t know, and are not in control, we will become the grace.” This. So much this.

    I hope you both find all the grace you need tomorrow and throughout this year. It is a big change, but you are an awesome mom, and I know you have prepared him as much as possible for the newness of it all. The rest will all work out.September 1, 2014 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you, Tracie. I think that the grace comes when we need it the most, as you show in your own post about your grandmother. You feel the grace, as does she. Here’s to all of us feeling it when we need it the very most. Thank you so much!September 1, 2014 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I think the anxiety you feel is something parents across the board feel. No matter what the conditions, how old, or milestones they’ve crossed. I felt like that for the the 1 year old class on up to first grade. I’ve leveled out for 3rd and 4th and surely next year for 5th but I am sure it will start over again for middle school and then high school, college and 1st job and so on. The wonderful thing about young ones is that they don’t judge so easily. And 99% of teachers are wonderful. My wish for Tucker is to have a wonderful first day tomorrow. Sleep well tonight mom!September 1, 2014 – 6:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Kenya! I took him to school this morning and he did completely fine! I did cry in the car before leaving the parking lot but assume that’s totally normal and justified. I hope Christopher is having an amazing first day in 4th grade!September 2, 2014 – 1:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - This is beautiful! Sending our children off to school can be terrifying for everyone! I think sending our special needs kids off to school, just makes it that much more horrifying. The unknown. At home, even the unknown is somewhat predictable with our kids. At school, it is like a black hole of chaos and unpredictability. The unknown. We just have to grip our pillow tight, smile and hope for the best. All we want for our kids is to have a happy, healthy life and really, nothing else matters.September 1, 2014 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Echo,
      You’re so so right that nothing else matters. 🙂 But yeah, that unpredictability. Sigh. It’s a scary world out there.
      It gives me Whiplash to think about how fast he’s growing up. The years, they just come crawling faster.
      (nice job with the grip our pillow tight, by the way)September 2, 2014 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie - The first day of kindergarten is filled with all of the emotions but in the end it is a good day. We have to let our babies grow up and this is the first big step towards that. Your Tucker will be fine and so will you. He will fly because you are the wind beneath his wings. He will fly very high. Just you watch!September 1, 2014 – 9:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you huge, Pattie. He did fly, and did not cry, although I did. I think that the test is more tomorrow, when he gets maybe what’s going on and where he’s going. His school was super nice though, and called me 1/2-way through the day to tell me he was fine which is big huge.September 2, 2014 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Big hugs for you! A week in, it’s going better than expected.September 1, 2014 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Darling Kristi it’s not the end, it’s yet another wonderful beginning. My four (from 8th grade to K) evoke the same feelings in me year after year. And every end-of-summer I hold my breath and repeat my mantras and every spring I thrill to realize it’s almost summer again :). Sending big love and wishes for a happy First-Day-of-Kindergarten for your superstar xxSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Rudell Beach - Good luck to Tucker, and to you!! <3September 1, 2014 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - I still claim FRIST. And this is AWESOME and beautifully and wonderfully written as Tucker is beautifully and wonderfully made and parented and will be somehow altogether FINE even though things will happen and there will be wobbles and anxieties for both of you, because YOU will make it work. And he will fly 🙂September 1, 2014 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - I’ll be thinking of you and Tucker tomorrow. New chapters are always exciting and sad all at once.September 2, 2014 – 12:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, K2 and thanks so much for reaching out today. That meant so very very much to me and I really appreciated it then and now. He seemed okay. The test will be tomorrow, right?September 2, 2014 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Hi Kristi: Yes, part of growing with your kids is learning to let go and grow with them in a state of grace. I’ve enjoyed my kids at each stage of their lives, and seeing how their view of the world and their place in it is evolving. Looking forward to hearing about Tucker’s awesome Kindergarten year!September 2, 2014 – 1:24 amReplyCancel

  • christine - I’m thinking of you today! How are you doing? How did drop-off go? How many tears were there? I am 13 minutes away from leaving the house to take my youngest to preschool. Sure, I’ve taught there and my kids have attended the school for 13 years, but I’m still sad to leave him.
    Can’t wait to hear how it all went!September 2, 2014 – 8:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you big huge, Christine! Drop off went really well. While Tucker cried earlier and actually told me that I hurt his feelings b/c I couldn’t go to class with him, he seemed fine when I left. His aide left me a message as well, letting me know he was having a great day so eeep!! And yeah, the whole sad to leave them stuff. It’s big. No matter how long it’s been going on for!!!September 2, 2014 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I know that today is THE day. I hope you are doing okay. You have done all things right by Tucker. He is a strong and amazing boy, Kristi. And you are a strong and amazing mama. This post just hit home for me. As parents, we watch our children grow and see them deal with the consequences, decisions, and hard things that come with growing up and hitting the different stages. It’s never, ever all the time easy. I still cry in the car sometimes for all of my kids. They deal with so much. But you know what? They deal. They have been raised to know that I am here, always. You said it all when you wrote that with all that we have we will do everything we can to make it okay. And when it’s not, we’ll find another way. That is the way it is done. Hang in there today! I’ll be thinking of you and can’t wait to hear how it went!September 2, 2014 – 10:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you huge, Sandy. I know as in the *know* that it’s okay and that he’s okay (as okay as okay is) but wow, what a huge change, ya know? I mean, for me as in he’s no longer a baby, and for him, in that he’s no longer a baby, if that makes sense. I guess I just miss the baby, and the him, and the all of it that means he’s becoming more to the world and less to me… if that makes sense. Also? It went really really well. He did great. He was happy to see me, supposedly didn’t cry or hit, and well, I think it went perfectly – or as much as I can ask for. Thank you again.September 2, 2014 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Astrid - Oh, I totally understand your mixed emotions. I remember I was actually aware that Kindergarten was the beginning of the end of my childhood, and this was painful. When I turned foru (which is when kids start Kindergarten here), the teachers and othe rkids sang “and this is really old”, and I protested that I wasn’t old, at which point they changed the song to “it’s not old at all”.September 2, 2014 – 6:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Astrid, you remember when you were four? I’m a little (big) impressed by that because I don’t really remember anything until I was at least five! And yeah, the beginning to the end of childhood? So sad, as a person and as a parent. Sigh. I LOVE that you made your teachers and class change the words to the song! “It’s not old at all!” LOVE!!!September 2, 2014 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - How did school go for Tucker today?September 2, 2014 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It was awesome Susan. I love love love that you asked. Of course, he does not want to go back tomorrow, but he was really happy today and that, I suppose, is the biggest next big thing.September 2, 2014 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Each moment of each day- you have a purpose. Each moment of each day- was meant to be. Every moment. Meant to be. Has a purpose. Each step. Whether faltering, fearful, falling…

    Look back at all your days, moments, steps.

    You’ll find it in your history.

    Now go make more miraculous history.

    Every day. Every moment. Every step.

    Meant to be.

    On purpose.

    Miraculous.September 2, 2014 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris,
      On purpose. Yes. That. All of that. Here’s to all of it, sweets. All of it. Even the all that we don’t embrace, because it matters too.September 2, 2014 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Beautifully articulated, and I just read in the comments that his first day went well, which makes me so happy! Here’s to many, many more awesome days ahead!September 3, 2014 – 12:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Oh! You are right! I saw so many final summer photos and activities from so many blog friends recently. I know already that Tucker had a good first day and for that I’m thankful that the anticipation of that is over so you can feel more at ease right now. I know the worry won’t go away completely per se since he has to go to school several times a week, but so far so good! In that picture of you two I can see your smile in his!September 3, 2014 – 7:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks, Brittnei! I love that you can see my smile in his, and yeah, so far, so good with kindergarten although I’ll learn more on Tuesday night at back to school night, when we’ll be able to spend more time with the teachers and aides and therapists!September 6, 2014 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Dang, this is me in a couple years. I’m terrified, I’m scared, I can only hope all of these bloggers I’ve seen posting about the start of kindergarten recently, including yours, prepare me for that day. I definitely need these years to prepare because I’m a sap like that. Yet, I’m also excited for you and your son, there are so many experiences to be had!September 3, 2014 – 9:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Rebecca,
      So sorry that you’re also terrified – it’s terrifying, letting these precious humans grow up and spend so much time with us not knowing how they’re doing each minute of the day. I hope that by the time kindergarten comes for you, that you’re ready (although I don’t think any of us really ever can be ready!!). Thanks so much for your comment and I do know that this will be wonderful for him.September 6, 2014 – 12:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittney Paul - I just stumbled upon your blog. I feel like we have so much in common. I have a 4 year old son who has been evaluated by the school board/doctors and they don’t have any concerns for Autism. But he does have severe speech impediment/delays (they think it may be Aprexia), social/emotional delays and a bit of OCD tendencies. I have an 8 year old with high functioning Autism and IED. Also have a 2 year old with NF1, which comes with learning disabilities. He’s currently in Early Steps. We won’t know much on him till he’s a little older. I am so glad to find someone who can relate to one of my situations, at least. lolSeptember 3, 2014 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • GaYLA kEEHN - My sons kindergarten was the worst year he ever had in school. He is now 25. They had two kindergarten teachers and neither were happy about “handicapped” kids being “thrust” upon them. The one my son had told me she did not go into teaching to be in Special Education and they should be in their own classroom away from the other kids. The Special kids made noises and distracted the typical kids from learning. Thankfully, my son had an aide who was almost always with him. The following year, my son got a wonderful teacher and he had many more really good teachers after that. He is such a blessing.
    Gayla Keehn, Clarksville, IN.September 4, 2014 – 4:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Gayla, that’s so awful that your son’s kindergarten teachers were not happy about having special needs kids in class. Horrible!! I’m so glad to read that your son had wonderful teachers after that. All children are blessings!! Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it!September 6, 2014 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - Hang in there, mamma! You and Tucker will make it. I’m praying his kindergarten teacher loves him as much as you do and makes the transition a smooth one. Thanks for sharing your fears and dreams at the DifferentDream.com Tuesday link up.September 4, 2014 – 8:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Jolene, thank you so much and I very much hope that his teacher loves him, too!! She seems really nice so here’s hoping!!!September 6, 2014 – 12:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Krista Parker - I saw your video on talking about being a mom to a special needs child. I am sure that you have received millions of emails from other mothers saying that they could have written the exact same words for their sons/daughters. I came to your blog to check it out and almost gasped at your Kindergarten post. Our son, Kiefer, who was recently diagnosed, just started kindergarten as well. Looks like we have age in common as well. I love reading your posts. Look forward to reading more. 🙂 September 5, 2014 – 4:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - That was SO beautiful. I’ve been thinking of you and Tucker so much this week, and sending love. September 5, 2014 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Laurie Hollman PhD @ Parental Intelligence - Hi. Kindergarten is a great milestone, but to keep it in perspective, it’s not the conclusion of a journey but just another piece of the stretch and reach into the possible. There will be many teachers, some more or less nurturing, but YOU are the primary teacher, the life coach as they say, and you’re #1 at that. Hope this week and the days moving forward are filled with happy opportunities that will clearly always be surrounded by your devoted love.
    LaurieSeptember 6, 2014 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Laurie. I know, as in *know* that it’s not a conclusion… but it often feels like one, if that makes sense. Thank you so much and I do know that my son will reach and soar and that he’s going to be amazing, at all stages. And that maybe, I will too…September 7, 2014 – 11:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - “Witnessing our children experiencing childhood is likely much more magical and awe-inspiring than actually living childhood was for us, or is for them.”
    I think you may be right, Kristi. And I think it’s because our children are magical and awe-inspiring…much more than we ever imagined they could be. True for you? It is for me.
    I like what Laurie Hollman said in her comment – this is just one of many milestone, each a step along the way. I think I’m going to hold on to that one because what I’ve been kind of stuck on lately is that with one child, every one of her firsts…is also a last. Ugh! How easy to get bogged down in the sadness of that??? But I don’t want to do that and as a result miss all the fantastic things that await her – and me.
    Hope Kindergarten is going well for all of you so far! XOXOXOSeptember 7, 2014 – 1:19 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Totally true for me, Lisa. Totally, and completely. I think you’re right about when we have an ONLY child, that we know that every first is also a last. While exciting and wonderful, also heartbreaking and sad… I don’t want to get bogged down in the sadness either. <3September 7, 2014 – 11:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - LOVE this one too. So beautiful. It’s amazing how these milestones help us really soak the kids up. I think it’s God’s way of making us appreciate them, instead of rushing through it. 🙂September 10, 2014 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YES, I love the idea that it’s God’s way of making us stop rushing.September 11, 2014 – 1:08 amReplyCancel

  • Carin Kilby Clark - Love this! This is always a nerve-wracking time – and not just when they start Kindergarten. There’s the first year of middle, high, college – oh man, so many times where a brand new adventure will be waiting. 🙂September 11, 2014 – 1:14 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - I’m really glad you shared this Kristi! My 3yo is lagging behind at school too. She has speech delays and it looks like she is having a hard time keeping up with her classmates. It pains me so much! I just do what I can to help her. Hoping to have even at least half of your strength and patience.September 11, 2014 – 5:05 amReplyCancel

  • Lillian Connelly - My daughter started preK this year and we have all been staring in awe at her. It seems like just yesterday she was a baby. We cannot believe how tall she is nor how grown up. It’s almost a shock. I hope your son has enjoyed school so far. I can understand your fears and concerns.September 11, 2014 – 9:26 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Sweet photos Kristi. How is Tucker liking Kindergarten so far? And the driving? My Max just started high school (I know!) and while I was filling out the paperwork, there was a section about permission for them to drive to and from school. I was like “Oh yeah…there will be THAT in a couple years.” EEK! September 11, 2014 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Stacey Gill - Aww. Very sweet post. I’m sure everything will work out. I was nervous when my son first went to school but it was more over the academics and making sure the teachers were all on the same page and he was getting the services he needed (he has an IEP). I was worried he might become overwhelmed & turned off. But none of that happened (although I fought the whole way thru to get him what he needed). Now he’s in middle school and loving it. I’d just say communicate with the teachers – daily if necessary. I found some really wonderful teachers and we worked together. September 11, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • One Funny Motha - Aww. Very sweet post. I’m sure everything will work out. I was nervous when my son first went to school but it was more over the academics and making sure the teachers were all on the same page and he was getting the services he needed (he has an IEP). I was worried he might become overwhelmed & turned off. But none of that happened (although I fought the whole way thru to get him what he needed). Now he’s in middle school and loving it. I’d just say communicate with the teachers – daily if necessary. I found some really wonderful teachers and we worked together. September 11, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - I just read your article about special needs parents. It was us to a t! My daughter wasn’t progressing as she should. Language is far behind, and she is never still, never! . Her pediatrician wants her evaluated for autism. I don’t think she is autistic. Like your son, she will make eye contact and loves to be loved on and love on others. Something is keeping her from progressing the way she should. I too did the ” she will catch up, she just needs time.” And when I gave her time nothing changed. So then came the heartbreaking realization that I needed to speak with her dr. Then when he agreed with me, it was a blow to the stomach. You feel it deep down that your child isn’t like others, but to have a professional agree with you, makes it real, not paranoia. You feel validated and devastated all in the same moment. You feel validated because you have felt for some time that your child was not like others, even though anytime you confessed your worries to others, they said your child just needed ” time”. You feel devastated, because you want your child to be perfect. It takes time for the shock to wear off before you realize, no matter what the diagnosis is, your child is still perfect. They will always be perfect to you. Who knows, maybe whatever is delaying her development, it might be the reason, she is so loving, and sweet. She is imperfectly perfect to me !!!! I just wanted you to know, you touched a place in my heart with that article. I cried through it all. So thank you for writing it !!!December 10, 2014 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, thank you so so much, Jessica!!! You’re so right that we feel devastated and not because of the kids so much (although that’s so hard) but because EVERYBODY says “they’ll catch up.” So we believe. We have to right? Until we can’t… sigh… thank you so much for this comment tonight. It makes me happy and gives me so much hope that us mamas need one another to get through this all!!! THANK YOU!!!December 11, 2014 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel

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