Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Our Land – The Broken People

It’s been more than a year since I started the Our Land Series and I have to say that I’m honored and amazed at the incredible perspectives and stories you’ve all shared with me here. I appreciate each viewpoint and love that we, together, are helping to raise awareness and empathy for special needs, autism, body image, culture, skin color, insecurity, and so much more. Thank you.

Today, I’m feeling a little nostalgic and want to share the very first Our Land post, written by the lovely Kerry from Transcending CP.  Kerry is an amazing 20-year old college sophomore whose writing continually blows me away. This girl is gonna be famous, friends, and when she is, I’ll be able to brag that some of you met her here first.  In addition to educating others on how life should be in The Land of Empathy and Wonder, she provides a unique perspective – one of somebody who grants us access to her beautiful mind, smiling face and the challenges of living with mild spastic diplegic CP.

Our Land: The Broken People

I saw the expressions of surprise on my classmates’ faces when I waved to her.

“Oh, you’re friends with her?” they would ask incredulously.

“Yeah,” I would respond. “She’s awesome.” And she was.

I saw the real Emily, the Emily behind the Asperger’s. I saw a girl with a passion for horseback riding, a girl who spotted me outside in a hurricane and came running onto her porch, shouting through the wind to ask if I was okay. I saw a girl who preached the importance of adoption, having been adopted herself. I saw a girl with an unparalleled exuberance for life, a girl with a love for animals. I saw a girl who was the first to offer her hand when I fell in a crowded hallway.

And then one day I walked into the bathroom and found her sobbing with a sandwich in her lap, terrified to venture into the lunchroom because people would tease her, people who couldn’t see the real Emily. Now it was my turn to offer a hand.

“Come with me,” I said. “Promise me you’ll never eat lunch in the bathroom again.”

From that day forward, she ate lunch with my other friends and myself and brightened our days with her quirky sense of humor and beautiful spirit.

I can’t help but wonder: how many other Emilys are there out there, crying behind closed doors? How can we show them that they’re not the broken ones? This world, this world is broken.

Special Needs is not broken people

I volunteer as a tutor at the local elementary school, and last week, as I was leaving, one of the special education teachers put her hands on my shoulders to stop me. “You should become a special ed teacher,” she said, “because us old people is tired of dealing with the special kids.”

I was speechless. Speechless. What is wrong with the world today? Tired of dealing with the special kids? These kids are special all right, but not in the way that she meant. Children with speech impediments teach the world to slow down and listen, a lesson we all need to learn in this fast-paced, hectic world. Those who can’t speak at all show the world that there are ways of communicating without words, and there are messages that transcend spoken language. Individuals with visual impairments show us that sightedness is blinding in its own way. Those with difficulty walking teach us to slow down and enjoy the journey instead of always focusing on the destination. People with cognitive disabilities show us that there is so much more to life than math, reading, writing, and science.

But most of all, disabilities teach us not to make assumptions about people. Sometimes I trip over my own two feet, and as I stand up again, I hear people laughing. Maybe they think I am exceptionally clumsy for tripping over nothing. Or maybe they are laughing about how I walk with my knees bent and knocking together. I want to look these people in the eyes and ask them: Do you know how difficult it was for me to learn how to walk? Do you know how many times I’ve heard people tell me, “You can’t do that,” only to prove them wrong time and time again? Do you know that it is infinitely more difficult to get up again when I hear you laughing at me?  Don’t laugh.

I want to live in a world where nobody has to eat lunch in the bathroom, sobbing because her classmates suffer from a disability called prejudice. I want to live in a world where people with special needs realize that they are just as important as everyone else, a world in which they don’t feel like they must apologize to my peers for talking to me. I want to live in a world where every individual, regardless of disabilities, is seen as a person with endless abilities and endless potential.

The broken people in our world aren’t the ones with speech delays. They aren’t the ones who walk with a limp or use a wheelchair. They aren’t the ones who are deaf, autistic, or visually impaired. They aren’t the ones who struggle with math, reading, writing, or science.

The broken people in our world are the ones who are unable to see the person behind the disability.

–(fin)–

See?  I told you she is amazing.  Show my friend some love here, and check out her incredible words over at Transcending CP.  You won’t be disappointed.

Are you interested in contributing to The Our Land Series?  Awesome.  Please use the contact me form and shoot me an email.  Our Land is for all of us.  I’m glad you’re here.

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  • jillsmo - Love this!!! <3April 24, 2013 – 11:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - I love it, too. When I asked Kerry to guest post, I knew it would be amazing. This is even more than amazing though. This is perfect.
      Oh and love YOU!April 24, 2013 – 11:39 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I so want to live in her world, too. Beautiful post and wow truly left speechless and quite in awe. You are right, she is amazing!! 🙂April 24, 2013 – 11:48 amReplyCancel

  • Cheairs - I found your blog through My Whac A Mole Life. Loved, loved and loved this post. I will be clicking on over to her blog!April 24, 2013 – 12:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Cheairs,
      I’m so glad you’re here and that you’ll be visiting Kerry’s blog. She’s wonderful.April 24, 2013 – 12:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Keri - I love K’s writing and this was a terrific FIRST of MANY in the series. Simply beautifulApril 24, 2013 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Kerri,
      I love her writing too! And yes, one of MANY – including yours, I hope!April 24, 2013 – 12:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer - Beautiful!!April 24, 2013 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - Wow, what a beautiful post! Will definitely be checking out her blog.

    And it will be hard to keep up with that level of writing! 😉April 24, 2013 – 2:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Joy,
      I know! She’s setting the bar high, making the rest of Finding Ninee look bad. Oh well. Being able to read this is worth it.April 24, 2013 – 2:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - I was not referring to Finding Ninee but to me writing another guest post on the series! 😉April 24, 2013 – 2:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Joy,
      Your guest post will be fabulous! 😀April 24, 2013 – 3:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Melissa@Home on Deranged - Part of me wants to punch you both for making me cry!! 🙂
    But the bigger – hopefully better – part of me wants to give you a hug, Kerry, for being this mature and this inclusive of all that is “different.” Because the reality is we are all different, even though some of us are better at hiding it. You have inspired me. And the fact that you were willing to share it with us makes it that much more powerful.April 24, 2013 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Melissa,
      Such a great point that we are all different. A person doesn’t have to have an official “disability” to be laughed at, made to feel badly, to be bullied…everybody (well all the nice people anyway) deserves to live in a world without prejudice – one full of empathy and wonder.April 24, 2013 – 6:51 pmReplyCancel

  • MJM - Awesome…amazing piece…and I can honestly say I agree with you…she is a force to be reckoned with.

    Thanks for sharing.April 24, 2013 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Kristi- this idea is amazing and I am so excited for your series. And as far as thanking me, pfftt, as if I’m the first person to have a series! This one is going to be brilliant. (I’m starting a post tonight after my music therapy group…) And Kerri- wow. What a gifted, beautiful soul, with amazing compassion and insight. Can’t wait to see more of her work. Perfect start to a new series, friend. Nice work. xoApril 24, 2013 – 5:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Stephanie,
      I’m really excited too. I love this post and I love your series right back. And yes, Kerry is AWESOME.April 24, 2013 – 6:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Amazing! Kerry’s final quote blew me away – The broken people in our world are the ones who are unable to see the person behind the disability. Looking forward to this series, Kristi – great idea!April 24, 2013 – 5:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Dana,
      I love that line, too. In fact, I almost put it in bold but in the end didn’t change a single thing from what she sent me. Thanks Dana!April 24, 2013 – 6:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I LOVE this new series and I absolutely agree that Kerry sounds like one amazing person! That story of the sobbing girl in the bathroom really hit home…I’m still hoping that someone will do the same for my son, who I know needs that helping hand from time to time. My middle son once told me about a boy at school who always ate lunch alone and who told my son that he has trouble with “social stuff.” My son brought him over to his lunch table and introduced him to a whole bunch of other kids and he never ate alone again. I was so proud of my son for doing that and I know he is particularly sensitive to disabilities because of his brother, but I also hope that his attitude is a model for other kids to do the same. Looking forward to following this series!April 24, 2013 – 7:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Wow, that’s wonderful that your son reached out to a boy at school who was eating alone and even more that he never ate alone again. Thank you for sharing. Also? I hope that you’ll do more than follow the series – I hope you’ll want to participate when you have time!April 24, 2013 – 8:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - That was beautiful! She is definitely gifted! Thank you for introducing her to us 🙂

    JessicaApril 24, 2013 – 9:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - I don’t think there is a post of Kerry’s that I haven’t shared. She is honest about the reality and an example of hope.April 24, 2013 – 9:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - She is amazing! Thank you for commenting here, too. You’re so right that she is an example of hope.April 24, 2013 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - What a wonderful message, so beautifully written. We need to take care of each other. I love this idea for your series. I can’t wait to read more. 🙂April 24, 2013 – 9:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Thanks, Jessica.
      I can’t wait to read more, too…
      Feel free to contribute. All of you – please. The world needs more empathy and wonder. And Kerry. And YOU.April 24, 2013 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Alicia D - I just want to give her a huge HUG right now!!! LOVE this girl! I so wish there were more people like her out there. 🙂April 24, 2013 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Diana @ NannyToMommy - I can’t believe someone would say that. Breaks my heart. I would love to guest post! But I can’t find the form. :/April 25, 2013 – 10:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Diana,
      If you click the “Contact” button (bottom of this post, or home page) it should pull up a box at the top where one option is to “Just send me a note.” That will send me an email and is the best way to submit a guest post. I look forward to you doing so!
      And thank you.April 26, 2013 – 7:22 amReplyCancel

  • Mirela - She is indeed a wonderful person with a beautiful soul. Too bad not many persons feel and think the way she does. I also used to work with special children and it really opened my eyes. Kerry if you ever read this, please listen to Diary of dreams- Colorblind and VNV nation-illusion.April 25, 2013 – 11:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Mirela,
      How wonderful that you used to work with special children! And yes, Kerry does have a beautiful soul. I like to think that more of us agree with her than don’t. Thanks for commenting and for the song recommendation.April 26, 2013 – 7:24 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - The story of the girl in the bathroom is heartbreaking. I’m glad that the heartache ended. I’m so embarrassed for my profession that the teacher of kids with special needs responded that way. Discrimination from people who are on the outside is euphemistically called ignorance. I won’t sully your blog with the name I would use to call people who should know better.

    GREAT SERIES, KRISTI!April 25, 2013 – 3:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Rachel,
      I’m glad the girl in the bathroom’s heartache ended as well. More of us should be inspired to reach out and see the people behind what looks obvious.
      And yes – discrimination is ignorance!April 26, 2013 – 7:25 amReplyCancel

  • Shay - Tears again over here. What beautiful, beautiful writing. I’m headed over to follow her right now!April 25, 2013 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Shay,
      You’ll love what you find over there! And don’t worry – we got it that you were touched (tears).April 26, 2013 – 7:26 amReplyCancel

  • Shay - And how could I forget to mention how touching and true the message was, as well?! But I think that was clear from my mention of tears. 🙂April 25, 2013 – 10:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - Oh I love this sooooo much! Such a brilliant idea Kristi. And Kerry such an amazing story. I admire your strength more than you could know. I worry so much about my son. I think he is built more of the stuff that you are, but I on the other hand would have been the girl eating her lunch in the bathroom. You are such an inspiration. Thank you Kristi for hooking us up!April 26, 2013 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa Newlin - Oh my, this is a well-written and tear-jerking post! What amazing insight from someone so young. I can only hope we have more people like Kerry in this world. I can also only hope we have people like Kerry teaching “the special kids.”

    This post hurts my heart but mends it at the same time, as I know there are good people in the world who really do care about “the broken people,” when in actuality, we’re all broken.

    Great post!April 26, 2013 – 12:49 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Lisa,
      We are all broken indeed. And I agree that my son (and all of our children) would be very lucky to have Kerry working with them!April 26, 2013 – 8:00 amReplyCancel

  • Naomi - Indeed…people can be very judgmental. I am glad to find people that still think like this. It was very nice of you to help that poor girl; they need to know they are not the ones with problems. The ones with problems are actually the ones who bully and discriminate.April 26, 2013 – 4:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Naomi,
      You’re so right that the people with problems are the ones who bully and discriminate.
      Thanks for commenting!April 26, 2013 – 8:01 amReplyCancel

  • thesocialbutterflymom - I love that Kerry points out what WE can learn from people with disabilities. I’m sure that thought doesn’t occur to most.April 26, 2013 – 7:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Social Butterfly Mom,
      I hope a million kazillion people read her words and realize how right she is.April 26, 2013 – 8:01 amReplyCancel

  • K - Thank you everyone for all of the amazingly kind comments! I am completely blown away by the response! Thank you, Kristi, too, for being so awesome and granting me the honor of guest posting on your blog! I can’t wait to read the rest of the posts in this series. Here’s to a world with more empathy and wonder!April 26, 2013 – 8:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Yay to a world with more empathy and wonder. And thank YOU Kerry. You rock.April 27, 2013 – 4:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Jamie@SouthMainMuse - What a beautiful inspiring post. And her observation about who is truly broken is spot on.April 28, 2013 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

  • The Sadder But Wiser Girl - The world needs more Kerrys.May 8, 2013 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I loved reading this a second time – Kerry is truly a gift to the world and I hope she continues to spread her caring thoughts everywhere!June 11, 2014 – 12:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Wow, I can’t believe it’s been more than a year since OL started! Enjoyed the re-read 😉June 11, 2014 – 1:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t believe it’s been more than a year either Kenya! Time flies I guess and thank you so much for coming back to read it a second time.June 12, 2014 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

  • R - Wow, what a beautiful peace…thank you for re-posting for us newer subscribers. I didn’t know about this series and am so moved by it…June 11, 2014 – 1:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much for reading it, R, and I’m glad that you found the Our Land series! I appreciate it.June 12, 2014 – 9:24 amReplyCancel

  • Melissa Senecal - Wow!! Wonderful piece!! I’m going to have to check out the Our Land series!! Such a great idea and a wonderful platform to raise awareness!!June 11, 2014 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Melissa! I hope you will check out the series – everybody’s story has been so wonderful for me to share. Here’s to awareness and empathy!June 12, 2014 – 9:25 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Praying for more Kerries in the world! God knows we need more people with kinder hearts and beautiful souls.June 11, 2014 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - As I was reading this I ctrl c’d a sentence that I wanted to paste into my comment and gush over but then I saw another one. And another. Like this one: “Children with speech impediments teach the world to slow down and listen”. This reminded me of a sentence I read not too long ago in Viktor Frankl’s book “Man in Search of Meaning”. Frankl is a psychiatrist who survived the holocaust and records some of his experiences in this book. At one point he comes to the conclusion that asking “what is life trying to tell us” is futile. Instead WE should view ourselves as the answers. These kids sound like answers to me.

    This post really resonated with me. I know a child with Asperger’s and I was watching him struggle with the world and himself yesterday and I stood helpless watching him. We should all continue learning about each other’s challenges. Empathy is a great place to begin. Beautiful post.June 11, 2014 – 7:55 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Katia,
      I love your comment. And I’ll have to check out “Man in Search of Meaning” because I love the concept that we should view ourselves as the answers to what life is trying to tell us. Thank you so much for your insightful comment and your support. Adore you.June 12, 2014 – 9:50 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - OMG this is so eerie that you shared her story, Kristi! Just last week Asperger’s was brought up in a meeting I was a part of regarding an individual. It blew me away as to what I learned and that nobody knew about. Our Land continues to open doors to all of us becoming more educated and then hopefully many more doors follow suit with being opened! This was fantastic! I loved this part the best, “I want to live in a world where every individual, regardless of disabilities, is seen as a person with endless abilities and endless potential.” Amen! 🙂June 12, 2014 – 2:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mike,
      Wow – what great timing! That’s awesome that people are talking more about Asperger’s and autism. So many people have the absolutely wrongest assumptions about it all. Thanks so much and yeah, I loved that sentence about people having endless abilities as well.June 12, 2014 – 9:55 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - AWESOME! I love this… I was just sitting around all day with a bad case of the poor meeees and I decided to come here. Coincidence? Maybe … but I know better… thanks! ZJune 12, 2014 – 7:30 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Kristi…thank you so much for posting this again…TOTALLY made my day!!! And I really appreciate all of the kind comments…really put a smile on my face. I’m glad that you guys understand where I’m coming from. (: I lovelovelove Our Land and will always be grateful that I was given the privilege of being a part of it!June 12, 2014 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Completely and totally awesome.June 13, 2014 – 3:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I am just going through some of the Our Land posts that I missed before, and you are right. Kerry has a lot to teach us. And Kerry is right that its not speech delays, autism, deafness or any other special need that breaks people, but not being able to see behind the disability. I’d only add it’s not being able to see beyond any surface appearance.August 10, 2014 – 6:22 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Great addition – because yes. Seeing behind surface appearance is key!! Thanks, Yvonne!August 10, 2014 – 12:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra - Happy that your Kerry is one who is making “Our Land” a real possibility instead of only a wistful dream.
    *Hope*September 8, 2014 – 1:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Eva - I LOVE this part the best:

    “The broken people in our world aren’t the ones with speech delays. They aren’t the ones who walk with a limp or use a wheelchair. They aren’t the ones who are deaf, autistic, or visually impaired. They aren’t the ones who struggle with math, reading, writing, or science.

    The broken people in our world are the ones who are unable to see the person behind the disability.”

    Truer words have never been spoken. Thank you for sharing this.

    EvaDecember 28, 2014 – 11:47 amReplyCancel

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