Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Sometimes, a movie says what I want to say. But better.

I don’t have a favorite movie.  I’ve been thinking about whether I do for a few days now, and I just don’t.  While there are movies that I definitely love, many are older and their impact on me has somewhat faded.  What hasn’t faded as much are random, much-loved movie quotes because sometimes, a movie says what I want to say.  But better.

While in high school, I briefly had a stepmother named Jane who didn’t like me.  She didn’t like my brothers.  Actually, she may have liked my youngest brother a little bit but only because he was too young to realize that she was bat-shit crazy.

Overall, she was mildly attractive.  But friends, I’m telling you.  It was really hard to look away from the gigantic puffy mole on her face.  It sprouted hairs and everything.  Like a little pet.

You know the kind.  The kind where you tell yourself to make eye contact and not stare at The Mole because you were raised to be polite…but your eyes keep drifting to it.  It’s like you get this uncontrollable urge and want to focus on it because even when you are making eye contact, your brain registers that there’s something not-quite-right going on in your peripheral vision. And you have to comfort your poor brain and reassure it that you are safe and that there is not a tarantula about to attack you.

Because Jane (I call her that here because that is her name) was a mean asshole whose actual words when speaking to my father about us were “…and your psychiatric kids.”  Now, I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that I’m allowed to call her not only mean, but a dipshit as well.  Even I know that the word “psychiatric” doesn’t quite fit that sentence.  Was she implying we needed therapy?  Hell yes, we needed therapy.  Our dad married a 28-year old dumbass who tried to control our lives and treated us like misbehaved trainable puppies.

Anyway, back then, I was not rude or ballsy enough to say anything to Jane about the fact that mankind had invented these handy buildings with people in them called dermatologists who get paid to remove gigantic hairy moles.  So instead, I let Uncle Buck say it for me.

My brothers and I found endless hours of comfort from “Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.”

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Your hosts:

Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic (TwitterFacebook)
Can I get another bottle of whine? (Twitter, Facebook)
Mommy, for Real (TwitterFacebook)
Dawn’s Disaster (Twitter, Facebook)

Um. *toe shuffle*
Want to vote for me?  No?  Oh.  Well, if you change your mind, all you have to do is click that ugly brown TopMommyBlogs button down there.  That’s it.  So easy.  Like a Sunday Morning.  Or me, in college.

11 movies with memorable quotes

Originally, I was going to tell you about a whole bunch of movie quotes that I randomly spew at occasionally appropriate times but it grew into this list that quickly became boring.  So if you’d like to be done now, you’re excused.  If you are super-bored, procrastinating tackling the dust bunnies under the bed or are dying for further insight into my psychiatric brain and just wanna know what movies are in my list…well, here are 11 movies with party-on excellent quotes.

1. Coming to America is epically hilarious.  I have been known to utter each of these during random moments.  Sometimes, people get the reference and then I love them more.

  • “This is beautiful!  What is that, velvet?”
  • “Yes, yes, fuck you too!” (this is funny because Eddie’s so happy when he says it)
  • “Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now… now I’m washing lettuce. Soon I’ll be on fries.  Then the grill. And pretty soon, I’ll make assistant manager, and that’s when the big bucks start rolling in.”
  • This next one is actually shown during the credits.  I say “Ah-ha!” in the same accent that Eddie Murphy uses for this awesome scene:  “A man goes into a restaurant, and he sits down.  He’s having a bowl of soup and he says to the waiter, waiter come taste the soup. Waiter says: Is something wrong with the soup? The man says: Taste the soup. Waiter says: Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot? Man: Will you taste the soup? Waiter: What’s wrong, is the soup too cold? Man: Will you just taste the soup?! Waiter: All right, I’ll taste the soup!  Where’s the spoon?? Man:  Aha. Aha!”
  • “Whadaya know from funny, you bastards?”

2. OMG Clueless has some awesome lines.  One of my fav’s is when Cher’s date Christian came to pick her up.  Her dad said: “Anything happens to my daughter, I’ve got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you.”

3. I had to throw this one in for my friend Kenya who recently wrote a post with this title.  “I never did mind about the little things.”  (Point of No Return and hey, whatever happened to Bridget Fonda, anyway?)

4. Grosse Pointe Blank is another awesomely funny movie.

  • “You’re a fucking psycho.”
  • “It’s just the base for the soup!”
  • “I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How’ve you been?”

5. So I Married an Axe Murderer.  Ha.

  • “You stole my heart and my cat.”
  • “Would ya look at the size of that kid’s head! Looks like an orange on a toothpick!”
  • “He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow.”
  • “He (The Colonel) puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it nightly, smartass!”

6. Happy Gilmore  “The price is wrong, bitch!”

7. “There’s no crying in baseball!”  (A League of Their Own)

8. 16 Candles “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”

9. Office Space (probably one of the most quoted movies ever by everybody who has ever had a job):

  • “The thing is, Bob, it’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.”
  • “…the type of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.”
  • “Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar.”
  • I almost left this one out because it’s just so dang obvious but know that at least one of you will comment saying “Hey, Kristi!  You forgot to include ‘Somebody has a case of the Mondays!’ in the Office Space quotes.”

I also appreciate serious movies on occasion an am throwing in a couple of bonus quotes.

10. Philadelphia Story, because come on.  Is there anybody on the planet who doesn’t adore Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington?  While I am not necessarily a fan of opera, the scene when Tom Hanks is sharing La Mamma Morta to Denzel Washington is powerful and amazing.  “I bring sorrow to those who love me.  …It’s during this sorrow that love came to me.  …a voice, filled with irony.  It said ‘live, still.’  I am life…I am love.  I am.”

11. I’ve mentioned before that I have a massive, giddy school-girl crush on Anthony Hopkins’ voice.  I’m not talking Silence of the Lambs voice (although that movie has some awesome quotes such as “with a side of fava beans”).
  I’m talking about Anthony’s real voice.  The one that delivered his “I couldn’t ask for anything more” (which turned out to be “I don’t want anything more” speech in Meet Joe Black.  Before THAT speech, he said:

    • “I loved Susan from the moment she was born, and I love her now and every minute in between. And what I dream of is a man who will discover her, and that she will discover a man who will love her, who is worthy of her, who is of this world, this time and has the grace, compassion, and fortitude to walk beside her as she makes her way through this beautiful thing called life.”
    • “…I’m going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish.  That you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, ‘I don’t want anything more.’  Sixty-five years.  Don’t they go by in a blink?”  I just watched this again and…um, tears.  And? OMG that voice!

“Lightning could strike!”

Are you still here?  Really?  Wow.  So tell me – what awesome movie quotes did I forget to include?  I know there are many!  Thanks, and happy, happy weekend, friends!

UPDATE because I cannot believe that I forgot about Monty Python.  “Are you saying coconuts migrate?”  “It’s a simple weight ratio.”  and “You’ve got no arms.”  Oh and Wayne’s World – “Schwiiiiiing!” which I still say.  Like this week.


  • Janine Huldie - Now, it is my turn I forgot Uncle Buck and Coming to America. Seriously, those two alone make up for you forgetting Back to the Future, lol!! but seriously, you had me dying hysterically laughing about that mole and cannot believe she had the nerve to say that about you or your siblings. Seriously did she not own a mirror!! Thank you so very much as always for linking up with us and missed having you as a co-host this week!!May 31, 2013 – 3:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Janine,
    Thank you so much! I missed co-hosting this week too – it was certainly a great motivator for getting my post done early! And I learned that years later, she’d actually had it removed. Thanks for the visit! You’re always so fast to get here – I love that.May 31, 2013 – 3:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Ah, where is Uncle Buck when I need him?? I’m still stewing about something a neighbor said to me recently and I didn’t have the nerve or energy (or quick thinking) to say something back and now I wish I did…if only Uncle Buck were here….So, one of my favorite movie quotes is from Biloxi Blues starring Matthew Broderick. The movie sucked, but the first line of the movie (or maybe it wasn’t the first) was, “I’ve been in the army five minutes and I already hate everybody.” My college friend and I always loved that line, because he used to say stuff like that all the time. I didn’t participate in FTSF today, but now I wish I did…one of my favorite all-time classic movies is “Rocky” — not because I like boxing (I don’t) but because I’m all about the underdog. However, I couldn’t think of anything else to write about the movie so there ya go…May 31, 2013 – 3:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Emily,
    For some reason, I had a really hard time with this post as well and came thisclose to not participating in FTSF this week. I’m not sure if it was because I don’t have a favorite movie, or what. Even now, feeling like this one wasn’t very great. But they can’t all be my favorites, right?
    And OOOH I love the line “I’ve been in the army five minutes and I already hate everybody!” Awesome.May 31, 2013 – 4:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Henriette - “Nobody puts baby in a corner!” Epic!

    “You can’t handle the truth! ”

    And this one cause Sal really delivers it with a Scottish accent;
    “Your “best”! Losers always whine about their “best”! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

    Oh and “Talk to me, Goose.”

    Bonus points if you guess the movies! 😉May 31, 2013 – 4:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - H, Dirty Dancing, Jack Nicholson in a Few Hood Menander um?? What’s the prom queen one????May 31, 2013 – 4:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Oh! And the Goose one- Top Gun! Ok give me some more!!May 31, 2013 – 4:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - You had me in stitches with this one. I love movie quotes too, I find I use them with my kids a lot, instead of hold my hand, we say, hold my fin (Finding Nemo) and I have boys so “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me” from Monster’s inc. has been very helpful and always gets a laugh! And, of course, we’re gonna need a bigger boat, from Jaws. Thanks for a fun post!May 31, 2013 – 4:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Can I be honest? I have had a long, crappy-crap, shit-ass week. This is the first time I have read anything that made me laugh out loud all week. Honest to God, actual laughter. Of course it was at the mole bit, “Call me Bob!” but I just kept laughing the further I went. The “psychiatric” kids, and that movie line about gnawing that thing off your face! I had totally forgotten about that line. So seriously, friend, thank you so much for making me laugh!

    Also, “The price is wrong, bitch!” is one of my favorite movie quotes of all time. And I love Silence of the Lambs- my brother does that one all the frickin time.

    I love that we both love to quote movies. And I’m not surprised, because we’re both really cool. xoMay 31, 2013 – 4:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Henriette - Sean Connery- swoon – in The Rock!;-)

    May 31, 2013 – 4:25 pmReplyCancel

  • The Sadder But Wiser Girl - I saw you were talking about a mole and knew exactly which movie you were referring to before you even got to it!

    I love A League of Their Own, it has so many great lines. It was in my original very long list. We quote it constantly at my house!May 31, 2013 – 4:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - woah. I’m way more interested in hearing more about Jane. CrazyMay 31, 2013 – 4:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Kathy,
    Love that you use “Put that thing back where it came from…” with your kids! That’s so awesome. And HA to “we’re gonna need a bigger boat.” I’d forgotten about that one.
    —–
    Stephanie,
    We both are really cool indeed. Glad you had a laugh but bummed that you had a craptastic week 🙁
    ——
    H – that’s AWESOME. And yes, Sean Connery – swooon…
    —-
    Sadder Sarah,
    My list keeps getting longer in my head!!
    —–
    Deb,
    Anytime. Do you charge by the hour?May 31, 2013 – 5:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - Holy Crap! I loved Meet Joe Black, are we the only ones who have seen that movie?
    Have you seen Cheech and Chong “Up in Smoke”? Cause there’s this one thing where his dealer “Strawberry” has a big huge pink birthmark on his face, but your not supposed to look at it, so then why do they call him strawberry? Chong almost gets killed by Strawberry cause he can’t…look…..away! And thank you for quoting my boyfreind’s (John Cusack) greatest movie ever. I love you even more, and 16 candles, a gimme 🙂
    MWAH! TTTx10!May 31, 2013 – 6:15 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - “say ‘what’ one goddamn more time, I dare you, I double dare you”

    lolMay 31, 2013 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - I can’t even take the Uncle Buck reference. The line made me laugh out loud, and I’m so glad you took comfort in it when you were younger. I think I’m going to have my hubs read this post; he speaks in movie lines, seriously. He has one or more for every situation in life. Great post, Kristi!!May 31, 2013 – 7:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - The whole time with the mole I was thinking of Austin Powers and Agent Mole.May 31, 2013 – 7:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - Thank you for simulating pregnancy for me in this post. First, you made me laugh (You’d better check) and by the end I was crying (I loved Susan…). Good choices. I’m off to get a refill on the birth control now.May 31, 2013 – 8:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden spoons - Too funny! I love movie quotes, too, but I don’t have a lot of them. When we want to gross out or kids, hubby will give me a little smooch and we;ll do the “Love, True Love” bit from the Princess Bride. Our girls have no idea what we’re talking about.so they just think we’re crazy! 🙂May 31, 2013 – 8:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Remember how I had to skip past the cicada paragraph in on of your other post? I had to do that with #11. I’m going to bed soon and I dooooo NOT like the Anthony Hopkins voice. It will forever haunt me as Hannibal wanting it eat someones liver with favar? beans. I swear I’ve only seen that movie once or twice. LOL!

    I too love Coming to America, it’s stupid and stupid funny. Samuel Jackson had a part in it that I now think is hilarious since he’s all famous now – cause he’s still classic Sam Jackson.

    Thanks for the mention. I think I’m getting ready to whip up a post.May 31, 2013 – 9:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh and LO-FREAKIN-L to the hairy mole!May 31, 2013 – 9:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - JEN! I think we may have been the only ones to have seen that movie. I love it. I love it so hard.
    —–
    Clark,
    Don’t know that one but I’m heading over to your post now in case it may enlighten me. Plus, you know. Scott. Schwiiiing!
    —-
    Shay,
    I can’t believe how many I’ve forgotten that I’ve used after thinking about this. Like Monty Python and and and and….hey did you ever answer whether I’d be invited to the next family soiree? I’ll bring beer.
    ——–
    Kerri!
    Agent MOLE. HA.May 31, 2013 – 9:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Jean,
    Oops, maybe I should have made the funny go after the serious. Please don’t not have another kid because I am a dipshit.
    —-
    Lisa,
    Princess Bride is EPIC!!! Love that you gross out your kids with it.
    —-
    Kenya,
    Um. Yeah. So we’ve been blahblahing back and forth on Twitter over this. I told you he wasn’t always scary. Do I get an award or what?May 31, 2013 – 10:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Melissa@Home on Deranged - First I have to say, Uncle Buck is awesome. I love the whole thing, and it turned out my husband does, too, and well, why wouldn’t you love that movie? I miss John Candy.
    The other thing is, I’ve never seen Meet Joe Black. Nope, never. Been told to by many, but I just can’t work up the desire. Kind of like Shawshank Redemption. Eh, just never wanted to watch.June 1, 2013 – 1:54 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Melissa,
    While I do promise that Meet Joe Black is worth watching (and so is Shawshank Redemption), I get having zero desire to see a particular film. For that very reason, I have never seen Gone With the Wind.June 1, 2013 – 9:10 amReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Your step-mom was awful – like Cinderella’s step-mom. Messed up!

    Your list is GREAT! Loved the quotes and it reminded me of “with his wee beady eyes.”
    I love Coming to America! That should be in my top 10. I could watch that over and over and over – actually, I have. Love Clueless, as you saw on my list. And 16 Candles. My favorite scene in Office Space is the printer scene. I don’t know how many times I wanted to do that to my printer. Hilarious!!!June 1, 2013 – 10:51 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Kate,
    She WAS awful! OOH I’d forgotten about “with his wee beady eyes!” HAHA. And Coming to America is one that I’ve watched over and over and over too. Ahhh to the printer scene. We actually did that to an old computer years ago when I worked at a really small office. It was fun, but surprisingly harder than you’d think to really destroy it.June 1, 2013 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - What an awful step mother! She sounds like the ugly step mother! You poor kids! I hope she wasn’t around too long! As for Anthony Hopkins…He was so creepy in Silence of the Lambs that I cannot look at him to this day! When I took that personality test that is so popular today it said I had the same personality as Hannibal Lechter! UGH!!!June 1, 2013 – 8:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Syliva,
    You must have taken a terrible completely inaccurate test because you and Hannibal are the opposite of the same. As in nothing in common. Please give poor Anthony a chance – my friend Kenya was in the same boat. I hounded her until she finally watched the videos featured and admitted that he sounded gentle.June 1, 2013 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Diane - So. Many. Movies. And which to pick! Loved these. Some of your favourites, I have to admit I’ve never seen. Off to Netflicks . . . Our family’s favourites are: Anything from Monte Python, Oscar (One of the greatest one-liner suppliers ever), Anything Disney, and whatever movie we’ve just seen. That runs us into the thousands. Entire conversations are composed of used and re-used movie quotes in our family! Oh, and a few from Mad comic, just to mix it up a little . . .June 2, 2013 – 8:52 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Diane,
    I love that entire conversations are composed of re-used movie quotes in your family! Such fun. And I’m with you on Monte Python and had completely forgotten about Oscar – awesome movie.June 2, 2013 – 4:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Diane - Kristi are you kidding me?! No one knows about that movie! I am so impressed! We are definitely kindred spirits!!! 🙂June 4, 2013 – 9:56 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Mole. Moley mole.
    Reminds me of Austin Powers when he tried to poke that guy’s mole with a stick. Hilarious.
    Why didn’t she get that shit removed. Seriously.
    Did she pet it when it purred. It totally purred didn’t it?June 6, 2013 – 10:28 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - I don’t have any specific quotes, unless you count Sommersby with Jodi Foster when she keeps saying, “I know you aren’t my husband” in a southern drawl and Richard Gere says, “how do you know?” The repeat several times until Jodi finally blurts, “because I never loved him the way I love you.” It isn’t one of the funny movies you’ve quoted, but those lines have stuck in my head and whenever I want to be dramatic, I scream the lines like Jodi did. But my all time favorite movie is Shirley Valentine. No one has ever heard of it. I saw it first when I was highly menopausal. I thought it was the greatest movie I’d ever seen because she traveled to Greece. At the time I hadn’t been to Greece and the movie made me want to experience that country more than ever. It is an English movie, stupid, and I love it. Since I don’t want scary movies or intense adventure movies, these are the best you’ll be able to get out of me. So happy to give a little praise to Shirley. She’s helped me out on many a troubling night.June 8, 2013 – 12:38 amReplyCancel

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