Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

The Most Important Life Lessons for Contentment

The Most Important Life Lessons for Contentment
Life’s lessons are difficult. They come with pain, and sometimes, regret. But ultimately, to live life with content, and enough-ness, there are a few things we can each remember.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned during my own (longish-by-some-standards, shorter-by-others’) life.

The Most Important Life Lessons for Contentment

You’re never utterly alone, even when you feel as though you are. There are people who will respect your ideas. Who will respect and admire you-ness.

They’re out there. Find them, even though finding them is hard.

Discouraging, even. Keep trying. You’ll find them.

You matter. In all the ways. Your opinion matters. Your ideas matter.

You deserve to have mind-blowing sex. Let loose, and find a partner that you don’t have to apologize to for whatever inhibits you. Physical bliss matters. If you’re not into sex, find physical bliss in other ways.

Lift weights, slowly, and feel which muscles are working. Love that your body is powerful and imperfect.

Embrace your goofiness. Be unafraid in the faces of others. Who are they but other versions of yourself, living their fears and hopes and ideas?

Don’t fear other people’s thoughts about you.

Their thoughts are about them. Your life needs to be about you, and the fact is, they’re likely experiencing the same self-doubt, and wondering what you’re thinking about them.

We’re all human.

We’re flawed. And, our lives behind closed doors are ours and it doesn’t matter what the neighbors think if we’re living our best lives.

Live your best life.

If you and your children love to dance on the stairs before dinner? Dance on the stairs. The neighbors may complain, but that’s their reality. If they can hear you, and that bothers them at 4:00pm, they shouldn’t have moved so close to other people.

Maybe, don’t dance on the stairs after 8:30pm though. Because respecting other people matters, too.

Your ideas are amazing, even when they’re the dumbest, weirdest ones ever. They’re yours, and nobody else’s.

Act on your ideas. Wildly, because nobody else will.

You’re the only one that can give you joy.

Find your joy.

Find what matters to you.

If you love running, run.

If you hate running, because your boobs might knock you out, find something else.

Sit outside on the porch stoop, and wonder about the lives lived in the cars driving by.

Wonder about your life.

Imagine the best life you can live.

What should be cut, so that you can live your best life?

What should be added?

Do you need more time with your children at the playground?

Do you need more time without your children?

Nobody can give you what you need most, better than you can.

I asked Tucker tonight what the most important thing he’s learned in life is.

“What matters most is on the inside,” he (basically) said. We talk about this a lot. He worries about his speech. About what his friends think of him.

Just like each of us do. We walk into a room and wonder whether the people we meet will think we’re too fat. Too old. Too dressed up. Not dressed up enough. Too young. Too all-the-things.

(Also, if you’re wondering why he’s “Happy Tater” above, although this is on my YouTube channel, he has one now, and is known as Happy Tater. He doesn’t have many videos up and they’re um…. well anyway. He’d love some likes, if you’re bored). 

What other people think of us doesn’t matter.

Most of the people we want to impress today, with our cool hairstyles, our fashionable jeans, or our perfect bodies?

We’re not going to be in the room together when we’re each dying. While loved ones may hold our hands, and our hearts, the most important thing in the room with us while we lie dying will be what we did.

Who we were. How we made other people feel.

life lessons @findingninee.com

What we’ll need to let go of is regret, and I promise, you won’t regret what a neighbor thought of you going to the bus stop in sweatpants.

You’ll only regret not living.

Now. Tomorrow. It’s never too late to start, if you’re behind.

The most important life lesson is that we live life in a way that we won’t regret. Live.

Express yourself. Rage, resist, and hold.

Laugh. Love freely and deeply.

Be you. Completely.

***

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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Each week, Kenya of Sporadically Yours and I give you a prompt and a theme. This week’s prompt is simply to finish the sentence “When it comes to life’s lessons…”

PS – writing is funny. Until about 20 minutes ago, I thought I had nothing for this. I’d resigned myself to re-publish a post about wishing I were younger, with funny drawing and an alien visit. But once I gave up, I found I had so much to say. Again. Writing is weird.

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  • JT Walters - Brilliant again! And yes, we don’t agree on everything but that does not mean I do not respect your opinion and love you despite our differing opinions.

    I actually love you enough to try and show you the other side opposing your position. If I didn’t I’d ignore you but I don’t because I love you dearly and respect you.

    You are only as old as you feel. You are not old. I lift bags clean house and after prayer group which many of our military personnel have received promotions, I went out and handed out flyers for a military concert. I was a mess and then target offered to find out charity to send care packages to the military. How cool was that?

    Wise words from a lady I love dearly!!March 1, 2018 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you!!!! I agree that we’re only as old as we feel, and that we feel older when we’re unhappy with something. It’s okay to not agree on everything. I believe that. WOW to Target offering to send packages! You go, GIRL! WOW. See? You’re so amazing.March 2, 2018 – 8:21 pmReplyCancel

    • JT Walters - Me amazing? No. I am ordinary with a wonderful son and some fantastic friends.March 2, 2018 – 8:29 pmReplyCancel

      • Kristi Campbell - Well it’s amazing to get involved with community and military families, and not everybody does anything even close, so yes, I think you’re amazing.March 3, 2018 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

        • JT Walters - They are amazing but I’d never argue with the administer of FTSF😊March 3, 2018 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - And your post made me smile – and Tucker saying “What matters most is what’s inside you.” Sweet! Be, you, completely is the way to live. We can’t compare ourselves to those we see in social media because most of the time when we share, we are sharing the best part. I almost resigned to re-pubilish too. I’m glad we both managed, I think at the least hosts should follow the rules 😉 though I was sooooo close to a listicle.March 2, 2018 – 6:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so love that that’s what he said. So sweet. Funny that you, too, were resigned to re-publish and thought “listicle!” but we prevailed as hosts and your post made me smile too. I’m glad we both managed. Wow, it was close though, at least for me. Seriously, at 9:20, I was like “I am DONE!” then, I dunno. Weird, this writing bug we’ve got.March 2, 2018 – 8:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi Lewis - One of life’s lessons is that sometimes you just have to start DOING (or WRITING) to know what you really want to DO (or WRITE)!!! I tell this to my web design clients all the time: “sometimes, you don’t know what you want until you see the thing you really, REALLY don’t want.”March 2, 2018 – 10:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YES, knowing what we don’t want is SO HUGE. It’s such a part of finally finding what we do want. I didn’t realize you do web design. Are you familiar with ProPhoto theme at all??? Just checking 🙂March 2, 2018 – 8:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I just love how Tucker really gave your question some thought, paused and really, really thought about it…so great and of course, he came up with the best answer of all…must be that awesome mom and dad who teach him these important life lessons. 🙂March 2, 2018 – 12:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Right? I almost paused the video because I thought he was going to say “I dunno,” like he does with most things but I love that that’s what he said. So cool! You’re so sweet. Thank you!March 2, 2018 – 8:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Great list! We had some similar ones. I love that you asked Tucker & his answer was just precious.March 2, 2018 – 3:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - Ah. Because I don’t have to fill in the fields. That’s why I haven’t used this one often. #Lazy

    I kind of love this. It feels like reading what I’d really like life to be about – what I’d really like life to be full of. I suppose the challenge is finding andcreating richness and joy in the in-betweens.

    I suppose I have to think, ‘if there’s never any more, at least I had…’ and keep finding new experiences to fill in the blanks. And do the best I can in the meantime.
    ❤️March 2, 2018 – 5:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I like the filling in of fields, because the FB comments don’t “count” as much but I get that. You kind of love this? Makes me so happy. Maybe it’s what I want to be full of, too. Or a reminder to fill my bucket with stuff like this opposed to the anxiety and worry I have over so much? I dunno. I LOVE the idea of “if there’s never anything more, at least I had…” and then, filling in the blanks. You should write about that! For real. How much have you done that you never thought you’d have done? Who knew you’d find purpose online, and in the USA???? Or, whatever, ‘Murica,” and stuff. xoxoxoMarch 2, 2018 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - Weeellll…I wrote a poem a few weeks back about some of it. Some I don’t want to write about because the breaking down of friendships I thought of as solid has been hard – a ‘never meet your heroes’ kind of thing, but in reverse, I think. Anyway, that has sucked.

        But the best bits, the deepening of friendships, the influx of love, I could maybe write as long as it was couched in loose terms and no fingers could be pointed or feelings hurt from exclusion. As glorious as America has been, it’s generated a lot of thin ice in places and…you know me – I dislike destabilisation.

        I hope you get to fill your bucket with those wonderful things. I hope you keep finding your bucket’s at least half full already xoMarch 3, 2018 – 3:09 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I remember your poem (if it’s the one you published) but I’m intrigued. Tell me more? Not *here* obviously, but I’d like to know if you’d like to talk about it. Also the think ice in America… destabilization (with a Z, Brit!) sucks no matter what… I hope I fill my bucket. That you fill yours. That we all find ways to do so, with the most wonderful things, knowing that sometimes, the most wonderful things happen out of sucky somethings… oxoxoMarch 3, 2018 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - Only ‘z’s for you, my dear. Webster went out of his way to create a new and janky lamguage from what is proper. He wanted distinction, and my goodness did he get it. The crassness is all yours 😜

            Here’s to full buckets, someday.March 4, 2018 – 1:40 am

  • Kerry - I am trying to resist what needs resisting and to write the thing I want to see because nobody else will do that quite like I’m looking for.

    Feeling alone is the hardest one. That and not caring what another thinks of us so much. I am super guilty of that one. It’s hard, as a writer, not to go searching for approval from writers that seem to know more, only to mostly end up feeling disappointed and confused. Lessons abound. Thanks Kristi. Thanks to you and to Tucker for that answer. These kids really are the future, clearly and thankfully.March 3, 2018 – 2:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kerry, I remember the first time my dad told me that it didn’t matter what other people think, and I was horrified. I must have been in my early 30’s at the time, and going through a divorce, and deciding on whether to take a job pretty far away from my family. He told me to be friends with people I thought were too good for me, and at the time, there was one friend at work that intimidated me, and I took his advice and we became amazing friends. But oh sweetie, the whole not knowing what to resist and feeling alone? I know it’s so so hard. The hardest. I feel alone so often. With Tucker’s not-autism-but something like it. Not in the autism community. Not really in the “typical” community. I’m so glad you’re writing. Your voice gives such new perspective to so much. I’m also so glad to know you, at least here, online. Oh! And yes, these kids. WOW. to the kids doing so much, like this girl Emma Gonzalez. WOW. Maybe things will finally change!March 3, 2018 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Writing is weird. Often your last minute posts are my favorites – unfiltered and pure Kristi. And Tucker seems to be inheriting your wisdom, which is awesome. As is his hair. And his You Tube name.

    I try really hard to find and keep contentment. I remind myself to count my blessings, because there is always someone who is walking a more difficult road.March 5, 2018 – 8:14 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - **Act on your ideas. Wildly, because nobody else will.**

    I love this quote & everything else about this post!

    Tucker is stunningly adorbs!)))

    xxx from Duluth.March 11, 2018 – 4:38 pmReplyCancel

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