Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

When You Can (and Should) Go Home Again (as in we’re moving to Colorado OMG)

We’ve talked about moving out of state several times over the past decade. “It’d be fun to live in Europe for a while,” I say.

“Or Colorado.”

“Tampa?” he asks.

“No way,” I say. “Too many bugs. Too humid. I can barely stand the bugs and humidity here.”

This year, it got more real. My husband got a promotion, and because the government is the least efficient entity in the history of time, there wasn’t an actual job to go along with the promotion.

There was one in Colorado though.

I got excited.

And then, I panicked. “I don’t want to move.” I cried.

They say you can’t go home again. I was born and raised in Colorado.

Loved and lost there.

Lived there. Visit there. Love it there. 

Convinced my friend Julie and almost all of her family that it’s good there. Her sister Sara is my other best friend, and the one I went scuba diving with in Turks and Caicos. Sign-language sang Puff the Magic Dragon with.

Maybe, you can go home again.

Except, I’ve been here, now. Live here, now. I’m not sure I want to leave.

Except, we are. Leaving.

Here’s a post about when you can (and should) go home again.

when you can (and should) go home again

And about home in general. The home you make, and the one you might go back to.

So many reasons to not move. To stay here, in this home that we bought when I was pregnant. Remodeled. Gutted.

This home that we have said goodnight and good morning in for almost nine years.

Nine years.

Where does it go?

Home. This home with its Bolivian Rosewood wide-plank floors that I had to have. Waited for, for six months while they cleared customs.

The ones I worried were too hard for a tiny human head. Worried about my baby’s head splattering like a watermelon. Buying a pad for $80 that he could play on.

Home. This home with its breakfast bar that nobody’s ever eaten breakfast at because I never bought stools.

Tucker’s baby chair still sits underneath it. It’s where he stood for hours playing with his garbage truck.

Home. Where my son took his first steps. The place we came to from the hospital with him brand new.

I didn’t know what to do, so I carried him from room to room.

“This is the kitchen, little guy. This here will be your room. Here’s our porch, and the pretty tree.”

There’s Sharpie on the door to the closet in the basement. I think he was three then.

There are dents in the floorboards where they’ve been rammed by trucks and Matchbox cars.

Home. Where my shower is, where Tucker used to play ghetto carwash.

His baby room, still with a monkey painted on the wall.

His now room, the best shade of blue.

Home.

A trip to Colorado Springs. Homes are cheaper there than they are here. A lot cheaper.

Our new home was the third house we looked at. We looked at 17 more. Because, Robert.

Then we made an offer. The asking amount. And they came back asking for $11,000 more.

Turns out, they wanted a later closing date. One that worked better for us anyway.

Ohmygod that stress. They accepted.

We close on it in June.

I still lie awake thinking “Who do we think we are? We don’t need that big fancy home…” “There are only three of us.”

But the schools. It was this neighborhood or the older one that was more money with more dated houses.

I’m still in denial, even though there was a handyman here all day today fixing things like the broken tile in the main-level bathroom so that we can rent this place out while we’re gone.

Will we be back? Will I love this home as much in three years as I do now that I’m sad about leaving it?

I don’t know.

Robert’s job is only guaranteed out there for three years.

He needs either four or nine more to get DOD retirement/pension.

There will always be DOD jobs here.

There? I don’t know.

I’m trying to not freak out about that.

To not freak out about the fact that no neighborhood I’ve ever been in does Halloween like this neighborhood does.
I can’t even explain how good it is. It’s that good. Everybody’s out. People bring fire pits to the street. Grownups and kids dress up. There’s chili served. Wine in tumblers as parents shepherd kids from door to door.

Decorations everywhere.

I took photos from the hallway down today. To I guess make it more generic? People need to picture their lives. Not yours.

Still.

The house out there is newer than this one.

It’s bigger than this one. Has a real yard.

It’s an hour away from my dad, and less than that from one of my brothers and his family. Tucker’s cousins.

It’s really pretty.

This one’s pretty, too. I’d forgotten how pretty it is until now, when I’m faced with leaving it. Trusting renters to not have a cat pee in it. To not smoke in it. To not destroy it.

We’re moving to Colorado, is what I’m saying.

My first and original home, but not my home now.

Home, here, where the new patio has held two last-day-of-school watergun fights. The patio we’ll have another one this June 15.

Right before we move. To a new home.

OMG will Tucker be okay? He has such a great group of friends here. They know him, as him. My friends know me. Both of us. All of us.

A new state to us, an old state, to me. My state. Colorado. Where babies are born with bigger lungs because of the altitude. I wonder if that’s real. I read it once.

Are my lungs still bigger, or have they shrunk while living in flat-land Virginia/DC for 14 years now?

It’s been 14 years? Holy crap.

But. I mean, new memories are good.

Change is good.

No wait, that’s change is hard.

Good too maybe?

We can always come back.

I don’t know whether or not we’ll want to though.

***

This has been a stream-of-consciousness post for the new Finish the Sentence Friday prompt that I host with Kenya G. Johnson of Sporadically Yours. This week’s prompt is “Home.” It’s supposed to be five minutes, and when the timer went off, I couldn’t stop. Which, is good I think. Or now. Who knows.

I also took a break to take a photo of the really pretty crown molding.
…and the floors.
…and the kitchen backsplash.
…and the patio.
(Ok this is getting embarrassing)

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  • Dana - I’m really excited for you, Kristi, and a little sad for me. I know we don’t see each other often, but I’ll miss your face in person. Bright side…one more reason to plan a trip to Colorado!April 19, 2018 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m sad too. And excited. It’s scary! And I’ll miss your face in person too and please do come visit! I’d love that so much!!!April 20, 2018 – 4:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - You did such a great stream of consciousness post about some of the angst that accompanies needing to move after being so settled in, even if it is returning to a place you once lived.

    I wish you and your family well in the days ahead. Congratulations to your husband on his promotion.April 20, 2018 – 2:28 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - What a handy prompt, given the circs. Five minutes though! Could be fun. Will at least be quick 😉 I think home is where your heart is…the diffculty being when your heart is in more than one place.April 20, 2018 – 5:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well it just so happens that i’m pretty tight with the person in my head who thinks of the prompts and MAY have thought about this when choosing it… Yes exactly what you said about your heart being in more than one place. That’s me alright! I know it’s the same for you…April 20, 2018 – 4:06 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - Ahhhh the old ‘have blog hop; shall do as I wish’ trick. Sneaksy. I like it.
        Damn hearts getting all pieced up and building homes all over the place!!!April 20, 2018 – 5:24 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Yes, yes indeed. My hop, my stuff. Usually, I’m not so prepared and sit here at the last minute thinking “UMMMMM.” But this one, I knew I’d write about moving. And yeah, silly hearts getting love all over the place. Don’t they know better?April 20, 2018 – 8:52 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - Always flows better when you have something in mind, even if you only get to write for five (ha!) minutes.
            Hearts? Know better? Perish the thought! I think they do it on purpose.April 21, 2018 – 7:28 am

  • Emily - Wow Kristi – I think this is so exciting! I know moving and change in general can be so scary, but it’s also so adventurous and the fact that you’ll be going back to someplace familiar, and with family living there already, makes it that much better. And, the fact that you can possibly come back — or that maybe you won’t want to — either way, I feel like it’s a win-win — you have choices! Anyway, congrats to your husband and to all of you for embarking on this next adventure — can’t wait to hear more about it!April 20, 2018 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Emily! It’s exciting. And scary. And stressful, but I think it can be good. The weather in Colorado sure is better than here. And there are way fewer bugs, so that’s a win. 🙂 Here’s to choices and thank you again!April 20, 2018 – 4:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Holy crap! That is a lot to take in. You’re moving. Tucker is moving. You feel safe enough in him and you and Robert to leap half-way across the country. You are going to rock this, Tucker is going to love Colorado and cousins and grandparents. And I love the well, Robert comment 🙂April 20, 2018 – 8:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s SO MUCH. Gulp. Thank you. And I hope so much that Tucker will be okay. It feels easier here that the same group of kids has known him since kindergarten and just accepts him. Hopefully, he’ll be fine once we get there. Gulp. But yeah, Colorado and cousins and grandparents are a win for sure. And LOL to the “Well, Robert.” So true!April 20, 2018 – 4:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I’m glad you didn’t stop. I imagine it’s very hard to leave the house where you came home with your baby and have lived so long. I think I’d feel the same way. As said as I am for you to leave the same timezone as me I’m excited that you’ll be close to family. That’s something I’ve missed out on my entire like – not having cousins around or grandparents one hour away and the same thing is repeated for Christopher. I hope it works out as it should, if you love it there then maybe there will always be a DOD job.

    I clicked over to ghetto carwash and had to laugh because I wrote to throw the paint away and call someone but we know that you didn’t. LOL!

    Sweet post – I feel all the feels.April 20, 2018 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m glad I didn’t stop too. Like I texted, I was relieved to read this because I was thinking how I was breaking the rules and thought you might be annoyed! 😀 It really will be nice to be close to family though. LOL to the ghetto carwash and not throwing the paint away – I did use that paint but had somebody come do it for me!April 20, 2018 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

  • UP - Whoa! Lots to process. Best wishes and happy trails .April 20, 2018 – 3:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I love Colorado. I lived in Wyoming for a bit. Super exciting to go back to clean air, less humidity, and hippies. Plus, the Rocky Mountains is the MOST IDEAL place in a case of a Zombie Apocalypse. It’s been well researched. I personally would like Tampa though, and I’ve been thinking, “Europe? Maybe?” a lot. But I’m a beach bum at heart. So… Don’t worry about the change part. New memories will form just as they would in the house you’re in now. Home isn’t a house. It’s the people.April 22, 2018 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love Colorado too… it’w where I grew up… it’s mostly the change. The leaving friends behind. I know it’ll be fine and that we’ll make new memories and thanks for the zombie apocalypse advice. Tucker will love that fact! 🙂April 23, 2018 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - I still can’t believe you’re moving! But chnange is GOOD. I firmly believe that. And not selling your home always leaves the door open:)!.April 22, 2018 – 11:15 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t believe we’re moving either. Gah. And yeah, good to leave the door open, especially since we might be back in a few years. But hey when you roadtrip, come to Colorado! Stay with me!April 23, 2018 – 5:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Wow. I have never moved…well, far. I call it moving, but I don’t consider it anywhere near as brave as what you are doing. I moved into town and my family have never left a house behind for long, but I am trying to write a novel about a family member who moved across the ocean, so it is on my mind. I don’t know how anyone does it, whether they have a real choice or not. I am aware a house isn’t everything. I am so glad you will be with family though. That’s the best part.

    I really am curious about your story though, if you ever return or stay gone. Big life decisions are truly that…big!!!

    I hope that last porch end-of-school party is epic for Tucker and for you too, before the big change, but there will be more parties to come in Colorado.April 22, 2018 – 6:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Moving is a pain near or far. A long time ago, I moved into an apartment in the same complex and I think it was one of the worst moves ever because I thought it was no big deal. You’re writing a novel? That’s so cool! I can’t wait to read it! Thanks, Kerry. I hope there are more parties to come in Colorado too!April 23, 2018 – 5:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - WHOA. Well, congrats to you! I swear they will know him, as him. And they will know you, as you. And nothing is permanent unless you really really want it to be. And Colorado is so dang gorgeous, at least in my dreams. I’ve never actually been there. Argh. I need to start researching blog conferences I can go to out there!April 22, 2018 – 9:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - WHOA is exactly how I feel. Truly. And thank you for the congrats and the encouragement that they’ll know him as me, and me as me. That helps. Colorado really is gorgeous. Come visit!April 23, 2018 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa@TheGoldenSpoons - OMG!! I didn’t write this week and almost didn’t read! I would have missed this big news! We have considered a few job offers that would make us move. We lived in Nashville, TN for about a year, but otherwise we have always been here. Sometimes, I think I would LOVE to move away – start over – new house, new friends, new adventures. But, then, I remember that my family is here and my kids friends are here. So many mixed emotions!!! I am excited for you and hope the move goes smoothly!April 24, 2018 – 6:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Lisa! So many mixed emotions for sure… and I’ll probably write more about it (maybe??? I don’t know). My brother is in Memphis right now, for a couple years to date but they want to go back to Colorado. I take that as a good sign, although I don’t know. Moving and coming back will stink a bit if that’s what ends up happening… .but wow, the housing is cheaper in the Springs than here so there’s that. Still, friends. Neighborhood. All that stuff. Thank you so much for reading anyway!April 24, 2018 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Wow. I’ve been so absent from blogging, from Facebook, from everything. Look what I’m missing! And look at this freaking link-up hop I’m missing!
    I suck.
    You’re moving. So far away and we never even got to visit. Blargh.
    I wish you all the best! xoApril 25, 2018 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You DO NOT suck. At all. Never. And I know. Sigh. Weep. I can’t believe we didn’t meet in person. YET. I’ll be back. I’m keeping my job here so I’ll come in now and again so they remember what I look like. <3April 26, 2018 – 7:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Oh, wow! Moving is exciting and the pits, all wrapped up into one giant ball of stress. I feel like I’ve been in the process of moving for over a year now (probably because I have), and blogging has taken a back seat for quite a while. I’m cautiously optimistic that I will be able to become more involved in blogging in the somewhat-foreseeable future. I sat down today to visit some blogs I haven’t read in a while, and what’s the first thing I read? You’re moving to the state next to mine! It sounds like Colorado has friends and family to welcome you, but if you ever drift west into Utah, let me know. We can take Tucker to a dinosaur museum or something. 🙂May 1, 2018 – 7:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Moving is the pits, and exciting. Thank you for the reminder and affirmation that it’s a giant ball of stress, because YES. Wow. More so now than when I had a family for sure. I get what you’re saying about blogging, and hope you’re right about being more involved because blogging has definitely taken a back seat to this week’s yard sale, and I feel weird about it, but it is what it is. And YES, part of the “feel better about moving” thing we’ve given Tucker is that there will be a lot of camping trips and seeing the amazing out west stuff like Salt Lake, the red rocks, Glenwood Canyon… all on the way to Utah, and some in Utah. I’ll let you know!May 3, 2018 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - This is EXCITING and SCARY and WONDERFUL and so much more! But you are going to do great wherever you live. If Robert, Tucker, and you are together, it will be home. I hope you enjoy this next adventure and chapter of your life! Can’t wait to hear more.May 3, 2018 – 7:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s all of that for sure. And, I’ll be closer to you. Surely you fly through Denver on all your trips sometimes?May 3, 2018 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

      • Linda Atwell - Yes! Yes, we do! AND, we are supposed to come to Colorado in the next year or so to visit friends….so now we can visit you too! See, this is a win/win situation for both of us. 🙂May 4, 2018 – 12:22 amReplyCancel

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