Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Disolving Barriers, Kicking Boards and When Your Kid Exceeds Expectations

Somehow, I continually manage to be surprised and relieved when I realize it’s Friday night. “Surely I’ll have time to write about what I’ve been thankful for this week. It’s only Friday!”

And each Friday night, I look at the clock and it’s 9:00pm on Sunday.

“Oh right, we had baseball and swimming and life and building armor and trying parkour, and did my husband do the laundry and my son isn’t in bed and AARGHGOTOFREAKINGSLEEP!

Or, you know, mind yoga and Zen thoughts about how “I want to remember these years when my little boy wants me at bedtime. One day, he won’t.”

I dreamed my son could talk when he had apraxia and possibly autism

I do life and bedtime and being here and decide that next week, I’ll write a totally epic “this is what I’m thankful for” to make up for my slackerness.

But, I don’t. The clock ticks a minute and it’s next week again. I’ll have to make it extra-epic.

I sit down to write. Netflix, my secret dealer in the night whispers “I’m here.”

“Which shows? Wait. No. I’ve quit you,” I reply.

Netflix laughs and it’s 1:00am. I’ve lived other people’s lives for the past couple of hours.

But this week, it’s still Saturday earlier on Sunday and maybe I can actually get this done. After Clark’s logic (as in completely utterly illogical – Lisa agrees) Facebook talk, I’ve got to try, right?

weird facebook conversation blamed on spellcheck

HUH??

While I’ve been wanting to fill you all in on all that I’m thankful for for a while, it’s been a less-than-stellar week. Usually, during the crappy ones, it’s helpful to remember that there’s almost always so much more good than bad. No no, I’m not VagueBooking (because douchy), I just don’t want this to become a post about dental issues. Ew. “Dental issues” sounds awful. Like “moist.” Gross.

Anyway, I had oral surgery when the left side of my face swelled up like a grapefruit and I’m totally completely fine even though I can’t blow my nose or sniff “until further notice.”

Which has been a good reminder that it’s been a couple-of-whatever-measures-time-since-I-was-last-thankful-here.” (I promise to tell you all about the horrifying dental issues at a later date because who doesn’t love stories about teeth?)

Disolving Barriers (from the interwebs to in real life)

I saw friends from the interwebs! Not Lizzi though. While she was in the US again, she apparently likes Hasty more than she likes me (can’t really blame her for that) so I didn’t see her.

But I got to meet Christine and Phoenix! Boo-yah!

They were awesomely wonderful and exactly as I’d imagined. Even better because hearing Christine’s laughter in person is like toes in a fountain on a hot day. Which we also did.

meeting blog friends is the best

The time with Christine went by WAY too quickly but then Tucker and I were off on another Metro ride to see Allie and her brood! We’ve met before, and she remains as super-fab as she was then.

Although he denies it because girls are gross, I suspect that Tucker wants to marry Allie’s daughter who not only knows what Parkour is, but told him “great job!” and showed him some moves of her own. He’s taken an interest in lifting weights and building muscles. Just saying.

the power of meeting blog friends in person

Tucker’s hand on her arm and the look on his face? Says “Audrey, you’re mine very please??” (but EWWWW GIRLS)

Wow. I just realized that the last thankfulness I shared was when I saw other blog friends and had recently adopted a new Guinea Pig. Huge thanks to Dyanne who sent an email about the only reason to ever buy kale and the general care of piggies.

Kicking Boards

When my little boy announced that he wanted to participate in his Tae Kwon Do’s studio’s public tournament, I was worried.

“Are you sure sure?” I asked because one of the things about my son is that he has these ideas in his mind about how perfect things will go and then if he messes up or thinks he’s not as good as other kids are at it, he’s heartbroken. He skates the gulf between typical and not. His friends vary — kids from mainstream first grade and ones he met years ago in PAC. Sometimes, neither gets him. He’s not autistic, and he’s not typical.

No kid is really one thing or another, or anything but themselves, I know, but my son volleys between worlds. He doesn’t fit in just so with either community.

He’s occasionally misunderstood and even bullied from typical kids. Confused about how to play with his special needs friends when their games are different from his. Confused. We’re in the Middle world, once again, three years later.

But you know what? He went to that Tae Kwon Do tournament and he KICKED SOME BOARDS! (which, it turns out, is even more super-awesome than kicking ass)

Finding Ninee Tucker with developmental delays breaking boards and expectations!

You can see his foot break through in the middle photo

When Your Kid Exceeds Expectations

My kid completely exceeded my expectations with the board kicking. Just a short time ago, there’s no way he’d have gotten up in front of an audience and told the TKD Master which kicks he’d be using and then do them. Of course I cried.

I won’t blather on and on but honestly you guys, I am so unbelievably proud of my little boy. Like I said, we’ve had some ups and downs this year but he’s talking, has friends, and sometimes at night, he tells me to not touch him rather than laying his head on my stomach to be sure I don’t leave before he falls asleep. Who’d have known I’d miss that.

His scootering takes him further away, his comfort zone grows each day. He’s in Little League baseball and at first, I thought we’d made a mistake. Yesterday’s game gave him a hit in each inning and in the final, a great hit, past second base on his first swing. As pitcher (it’s coach-pitched but they still play each outfield position), he got a grounder, threw it to first, and made an out.

All that. A couple of years ago, there’s no way I’d hand this kid a bat.

Of course I cried.

when your kid exceeds your expectations of course you cry

How’s your week been?

PS Not too late to link up for Finish the Sentence Friday

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  • Louise - So wonderful that you got to meet blog friends in real life! And three cheers for Tucker and all that he’s doing now – that’s really wonderful.

    As for beating yourself up about blog posting – meh. This was perfect once you got to it and sometimes Netflix SHOULD win.June 5, 2016 – 12:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks Louise. You’re right. Sometimes, Netflix SHOULD win. I hear him calling again though and gah.June 5, 2016 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - You do have a lot to be happy about. I know the middle land is hard but you are out of autism and I’d give anything to just hear my son talk. He is not improving. I am thrilled for you and Tucker.

    Btw, I drink a Kale juice every morning. It is very good for you!! You should give it a try!!June 5, 2016 – 2:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well I wouldn’t say “out of autism” more that it’s not classic autism on the CARS test. So still in the middle. And I know about Alex, and am so so sorry he’s not improving but he’s also learning and improving all the time right? He knows all the bones and you’re such a great mom to him. And yeah, I actually (since my teeth) have had smoothies of superfoods that were Kale, celery, ginger, mango and pineapple and it was super delicious.June 5, 2016 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - Well not out of “autism” but reason for optimism. Tucker is a cool dude and he is doing more and more typical childhood things. Like I said the middle is hard. Alex is learning but he also is a teenager with autism which a book should be written about it.

        So sorry to hear about you getting ill. As Mom’s we are so busy taking care of everyone else we forget to take care of ourselves.

        Lighting (That’s the name of the guinea pig, right?) now had to compete for his Kale in the morning.

        I do Kale, OJ, fresh giner, vanilla, 1 banana 1/2 cup cashews and 1/2 cup flax seed. Everyday as it is a great probiotic antioxidant way to start your day. I have been known to freeze a day in advance too.

        At three he was classic autism but through the power of motherly love he is getting better. I wish I had your super powers!!!

        Alex is more mature now. He sees the world through adult eyes and yes he loves medicine and understands it which is even more incredible.

        As long as you are on the mend…awesome post and yes, somedays Alex surprises me with what he understands about the world. He had been an observer of human behavior for 16 years. He understands people better than I do.

        You are such a beautiful person Kristi you would say those drinks are super delicious even if they were terrible. I do frozen fruit with Kiefer, whey protein and vanilla with a touch of honey from the groves. It is awesome before bed.June 5, 2016 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh I just love hearing all that good stuff about Tucker – baseball and board kicking…so so so great! We’ve had expectations exceeded too bc I think sometimes we are too afraid to dream otherwise OR in other cases, we had “experts” tell us certain generalizations (like, kids on the spectrum do better at individual sports) so then we start to believe them. How I wish I could let those “experts” know now that my kid will likely play college basketball.:) And yeah, can totally relate to the middle world and how hard that can be. It gets better as the kids get older, because older kids are more understanding of differences and aren’t as quick to judge. And, if we keep working on that land of empathy, let’s hope the understanding filters down to younger and younger ages (but it also needs to filter up too bc well, you know there are still some older people who just don’t get it still…)June 5, 2016 – 6:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - thank you huge, Emily!! I think you’re right about wanting all of it and dreaming of it but wanting to be realistic and not put unfair pressures on our kids… also the stupid “experts.” sigh.
      I LOVE so much that your kid is likely going to play college Basketball!!! I need to get back to Our Land. But energy and maybe a book would be better and and and, well, yeah. I so love your comment. And you.June 5, 2016 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - You got to meet Allie! So awesome. And how could he not love Audrey?
    I’d be so proud of him too. A big deal.June 5, 2016 – 9:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, SW. I got to meet her a couple of years ago but yeah, she’s wonderful. I got to meet you a couple of years ago too and you. Are wonderful.June 5, 2016 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - IT WAS COMPLETELY AWESOME TO MEET YOU AND TUCKER!! The time went way, waaaaay too fast. So funny that you mention my laugh. It’s always the thing people talk about. 🙂 That feet in the fountain thing was the perfect way to spend part of our afternoon.

    Tucker is awesome. I hate that he has some trouble with kids, but I’m thrilled that he is doing so well with Tae kwon do and baseball. I cannot wait to hear about parkour class!June 5, 2016 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ok I guess WP didn’t like my comment back because I tried to include a Parkour video but it was SO nice to meet you and Phoenix aka M… Of course people talk about your laugh – it’s like waterfalls and tinkling bells. So glad it worked out for us to hang out together. And yeah, I hate he has trouble too but here’s to parkour!!!June 5, 2016 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I am SO jealous of all the bloggy people I know meeting other bloggy people I know and NONE OF THEM ARE ME! 😀 Ugh!
    I can’t tell you how much I love this post because I know you know that I totally get it. Totally. Zilla played with cousins and friends of cousins at a party today – that was remarkable. There have been so many remarkable moments this year. How awesome are these kids?
    Board breaking – who knew, right? I can’t believe my kid does that and I can’t believe I don’t jump out of my seat when she does. I’m usually so nervous, but I have to let her do this. And you know what? She’s got this. She’s got so much of this. Her favorite thing, though, is her nunchakus. 😀
    Ha – that Facebook thing was funny. What the hell was he talking about? Clark-speak? 😀June 5, 2016 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - well can we meet this summer? Say yes. I know you totally get it, yes. I so very much want Tucker and Zilla to hang out. They will have huge big fun. These kids are AWESOME. And omg I can’t believe we have kids breaking boards in common too although now I realize I knew that and had forgotten so so cool. Also T won nunchucks or however you spell it and he was like “when they’re on the ground, they’re in this position, and when you hold them…” I was like WAIT WHAT but I guess they learned some stuff about them at TKD camp and he loves his too. Even though that freaks me out.
      Also yeah, Clark speak. lol.June 5, 2016 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Let’s make getting together happen this summer, yes! Things are much better for us in that regard than last year. (And HOW is it a year already that’s gone by?)Let’s talk about when and how and where and all of that.
      Yeah, Zilla wielding weapons is a little disconcerting, but she really seems to know what she’s doing. I think it’s in her blood. 😉June 6, 2016 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

  • Vanessa D. - So awesome to see your guy loving these activities! I love the Tae Kwon Do action series.June 5, 2016 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Vanessa. It’s been such fun watching him figure out what activities he likes and doesn’t like.June 6, 2016 – 10:55 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Wow, with the Tae Kwon Do”s and the baseball too.
    🙂
    Living other people’s lives…I love to do that, if only to get a small break from living my own sometimes.
    🙂
    Glad to see you here this week.June 6, 2016 – 2:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s easy to get sucked into living other people’s lives – a welcome break sometimes. But sometimes, I take it too far with the “one more episode” thing.June 6, 2016 – 10:57 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - LOL I swear one of my cheeks has been bigger than the other for a month because my gums aren’t agreeing with my temporary crown. I get the real crown on Thursday and I can’t EVER think of a time I have been so excited to go to the dentist. That tooth has been talking to me at 1am like your Netflix.

    Love the pics of Tucker kicking the boards. That’s awesome that he exceeded expectations.

    I’m going to have to google parkour. Sweet that you met Allie and Christine!June 7, 2016 – 9:11 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - UGH the crowns!! The temporary crowns!!! I’m so glad you get the real one on Thursday and UGH to that tooth talking like my 1am Netflix. Oh the parkour. I bet Christopher knows what it is. I had no idea…
      And ah hem… I could meet YOU ya know. Have any trips planned near here this summer???June 7, 2016 – 9:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Karen Loren - It’s such a relief to know that I’m not alone in my difficulties with my 6-yr old son. He has been tentatively diagnosed with Social-Communication Disorder (I think it’s one of those things under the huge umbrella of autism). Thank you for sharing your stories, my son started with first grade this year and so far he has been on the same level with the other kids in terms of academics, activities, etc… His conversational skill though is currently the level of a 4-yr old, so I guess it’s not too far off from his current age. He’s in between worlds too, I totally get what you mean when you said that. And my son also went through the whole Taekwondo thing for about a year last year and it was awesome. Hope to read more of your stories about your journey in conquering your son’s development!June 9, 2016 – 5:11 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Karen thank you thank you for taking the time to comment. I so very appreciate when like mamas let me know that I’m not alone (and that you aren’t either). I promise you’re not alone. My son is going to do All The Tests this fall (EEEP_ scary but also I’m looking forward to them) for what he “actually” has. When he was three I thought “no it’s not autism,” but then Preschool Autism Class helped him so much and he had so much in common with his classmates… Then when he was five, I freaked out and he thrived… but then he was bullied and told me his mouth is broken…. ugh. Sounds like we’re living very similar situations.June 12, 2016 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Can you believe that I am only just now seeing this?!?!?!?!?!? I’m so sorry. I check out well on vacay and I’m been scrambling at work, ever since I’ve been back. Please tell Tucker that I am super-proud of him – and that Audrey is too:)! Our visit was way too short, but I know that we will meet again!June 16, 2016 – 9:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can believe you’re now only seeing this. I check out well in RL always and am just reading Summer Sisters thinking about your books of life. I think Tucker loves Aud in a good way but maybe um, more than. And we will.June 16, 2016 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Robin Digrigoli - Earlier I happened to run across your speech about being a special needs mom. The post had made you the voice of us. Many agreed with you. I, on the other hand, did not. You used words like….mourn and jealousy. If only you could have seen all the great things your son would end up doing….maybe then you wouldn’t have felt so bad about him. You wouldn’t have had to “mourn the son you could have had” or be jealous of the “normal” kids wishing you had one too. I’m curious as to what your thoughts are now. Do you feel differently?June 25, 2016 – 9:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Robin,
      Thank you for your comment. Did you watch the whole speech? Because the end message was supposed to be that life IS very beautiful with the children we have, no matter what. I cherish my son, exactly as he is. There was a time when I felt sad for the things I’d imagined doing with him that I knew I wouldn’t be but yes – life is beautiful and he’s perfect as he is. Feel free to email me if you’d like to chat.June 25, 2016 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Robin - I would like to say that I’m not judging you for your feelings. I think it seems that way but I’m not. The part I’m having a problem with is that your feelings have been chosen to represent all of us. I don’t feel anything like the way you did. I dont know what health issues your son has but from where I can see he seems like he is doing everything little boys do. He seems happy and he carries himself well…I can imagine thinking you somehow missed out on anything. But what do I know. I can only hope my kids never see your speech. I hope they never fear I felt the same. That’s really my only concern.June 26, 2016 – 3:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi again Robin,
      Thank you for the clarification. When it comes to my speech…I had no idea that it would be so widely spread. I wrote it one night as a blog post after having a play-date that went very wrong.

      Later, when I found out about the Listen to Your Mother Show, I auditioned with it, was accepted, and then read it to a small audience. Had I known that it’d be so widely shared, I probably would have made some changes to it. That’s one of the funny and frustrating things about writing and blogging, I think. We never really know what people will most relate to and share.

      While a lot of large websites shared it, I know that other people agree with you and honestly, I don’t overall think that I’m missing out on anything. I have my beautiful son and I love him exactly as he is. At the end of the speech, I tried to convey that with “it’s going to be just fine…”

      However, I’ll keep your perspective in mind for sure and thank you for taking the time to share it. I do appreciate it.July 14, 2016 – 11:05 amReplyCancel

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