Finding Ninee

Janine Huldie - I so used to care what people thought at work too before having kids and could so relate to that, too Kristi. And I think this conversation would have so made me feel uncomfortable with this person you described (and drew so perfectly, too). So, don’t be too hard on yourself for that and do think you are doing the best job as Tucker’s mom and protecting from the likes of some of your co-workers who wouldn’t understand and possibly even be a bit critical of him. Not saying everyone would, but possible some might now be as understanding and might even make you feel more uncomfortable then it is worth (just human nature I suppose). Didn’t say it was right by any means, but unfortunately not all are as educated. Thank you seriously so very much for linking this up with us.
Janine Huldie recently posted…Finish the Sentence Friday Blog Hop #20May 17, 2013 – 12:36 pm

Kenya G. Johnson - Can I laugh that this was your FTSF post?May 17, 2013 – 1:39 pm

Kenya G. Johnson - Dang I wasn’t finished typingMay 17, 2013 – 1:40 pm

Kenya G. Johnson - Ugh stupid commenting from phone – I’ll be backMay 17, 2013 – 1:42 pm

Dani Ryan - OMG, I’m DYING over here. That is exactly how I am in social settings. And I always have the pit stains as well. So, so awful. But so, so funny after the fact when you retell it on your blog.

I used to care what people thought about me, too, and I made an effort to know stuff about people. I even remembered birthdays. Now? Not so much.
Dani Ryan recently posted…10 ways our kids have it easierMay 17, 2013 – 1:50 pm

Shay - I think this post turned out beautifully! You shed some light on the types of things NOT to say–and you did it in a funny but serious way (I LOVE “pit stains”!!). That shows what an awesome writer you are–and how much you know about your subject. You rocked it, girlfriend!
Shay recently posted…What’s My Motherfcking Name?May 17, 2013 – 1:55 pm

clark - lol (total FTSF Post envy!)

…as to the actual situation (as opposed to the graphically- told story*), I can identify with the feeling of the situation, at least the sense of ‘what? why are you asking me questions? what part of never sharing personal information before are you missing?”
Reading your story, the thing that strikes home the most is the feeling of amazement that people feel the license to ask ‘follow-up/give-me-more-detail kind of questions.

*which I also envy the drawing-speak
clark recently posted…Finissez la phrase vendredi, le Wakefield Doctrine (la théorie de clarks, scotts et rogers)May 17, 2013 – 1:59 pm

Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe - The irony would be if his expression was because your comments made him think of the spectrum but he wasn’t sure if he should mention it because you said “delay” and he didn’t want to freak you out if you hadn’t thought of it as a possibility?? You just never know. I actually let out a snort laughing when you got to the point of dragging your poor innocent hubs into the conversation. That’s the thing – you think it might be awkward to bring it up around others, but you don’t know their situation either, so who care. You could end up helping them out. [#FTSF]
Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe recently posted…Finish the Sentence Friday: When I was younger I wanted …May 17, 2013 – 3:13 pm

LM@motherchuckler - It’s your business and yes it could’ve been a teachable moment but being part time there I understand why you didn’t feel the need to educate.May 17, 2013 – 4:00 pm

Emily - Well, I laughed out loud at that one! And even if the post did go in a different direction than you intended, I personally think you did a superb job (oy, that sounds weird) of explaining what soooo many of us feel when our kids have special needs and we’re talking to someone who doesn’t know, and we don’t necessarily want them to know, because yes, we know we’re going to get that pity look. Ugh, I hated that. The good news is that I have found that I’ve become more skilled at either trying to avoid those conversations altogether, or I have more prepared answers that don’t leave me feeling awkward and annoyed. Some people just don’t “get it” and they never will. Others do, whether or not they themselves have a child with special needs, and those people will be the ones you can talk to freely.
Emily recently posted…When Is It Okay To Be Funny Again?May 17, 2013 – 4:24 pm

K - OMG you handled this situation so much more eloquently than I would have! I would have been at a complete loss for words. Something kind of similar happened to me a few years ago…I was at a Thanksgiving gathering, and a woman that I didn’t know asked me if I did any sports. I said, “No, they aren’t exactly my thing, if you know what I mean,” and tried to laugh it off, hoping that she would take the hint and drop the subject. I was praying that would be the end of it but THEN. THEN she was all pity-faced (your pity-face illustration was PERFECTION in a drawing, by the way…that’s exactly what this woman looked like too!) and she said, “Ohhhh yeah, I saw you walking….it’s a shame that a beautiful girl like you has to walk like that!” Cue the awkward silence….I tried to come up with some sort of coherent response, but all that came to mind was, “WTF?” I wanted to dive under the table!

Anyway, I think you handled yourself amazingly well considering how awkward of a situation that was! xo
K recently posted…What I Learned in CollegeMay 17, 2013 – 4:30 pm

Kenya G. Johnson - I’m back…. Anyway, I hate small talk. I don’t know what’s worse – filling it in with more small talk our having that awkward one mississippi two mississippi three mississippi gap of silence while you try to think of something to say. Like when someone tries to small talk me about religion or politics – I’m like hey I go to church and I voted – I don’t know EVERYTHING. And I really hate running into my old coworkers and them asking what are you up to now. Do I really want to hand them a business card that says I blog? I do, but I don’t. I totally feel you on the sweaty pits moments.

On the serious side – you continue to teach me lessons through this journey of yours. Keep sharing!

And just one more laugh for the road that this was your FTSF post.
Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…Senior Year 1988… behind the scenesMay 17, 2013 – 4:41 pm

Dana - I sympathize about the awkwardness, but I have to be honest – I cracked up when you threw your husband under the bus! That coworker is probably smacking his forehead for being a dumbass, and you got a fabulous blog post out of it!
Dana recently posted…I Dreamed a Dream…I was a Broadway starMay 17, 2013 – 8:50 pm

Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Besides this being a simultaneously hilarious and poignant post, I just want to say that it is not necessarily YOUR JOB to teach people manners and maturity. Or about autism. You know?
Deb @ Urban Moo Cow recently posted…The 38-Year-Old VirginMay 17, 2013 – 9:13 pm

Jean - I think there is a connection to be made with how women are trained to accommodate from birth. A lot of us have a knee-jerk reaction to act as you did that feels almost impossible to control sometimes.
But, bottom line is that you are interacting with a whole new group of people and you’ve been back to work only a short time at this point. I’m sure that your smart, bad-ass self will find your way into dealing with how to explain/tell whatever about your son without pit stains. I mean, look what you do with your blog!
Jean recently posted…You can do it, put your mind into itMay 17, 2013 – 9:55 pm

Jamie@SouthMainMuse - This post was wonderful. Though I’m sure it was not wonderful to live through. Everyone can identify with not want to become engaged in talking about a deep personal subject with someone. Your pictures captured all that uncomfortableness. Loved it.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted…37. Surely I’ll have my act together by then.May 17, 2013 – 10:32 pm

Jen - That’s so funny, I was like when she was younger she what??? when I got to the end, so I had to go back. Can I just give you a cyber hug? When Isaiah was first diagnosed I would not call him “special needs” I refused. I didn’t want people to look at me funny or pity me, as you said. Then my sister, who is a Speech Therapist at the children’s hospital in Utah told me how much my story was helping the families of her patients. She convinced me to stop hiding and to start evangelizing. She showed me that its all in your perspective. Own who Tucker is! You never know, the next person you talk to might be two years before you, with a speech delayed child, and so completely lost that connecting with you could be what keeps them a float. Tucker is unique and funny and wonderful, just bring it! You could be a force out there in the real world too, not just in the blogosphere (cause you really are here )
Jen recently posted…Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be CowboysMay 17, 2013 – 11:47 pm