Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

I wasn’t planning on taking the easy way out. I must’ve looked at 2,003 photos until I came across one that made me pause. It’s the one photo that makes me wonder what this blog stands for today. Before that one, I’d stumbled on a photo of Tucker as a toddler, twirling his hair. It […]

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  • Lizzi - Ohhhhh that is an absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS pic of him 😍😍😍 I kind of feel like this blog is about finding your way and making it the best way…at least, that’s a message I often get in your posts 💓💓May 25, 2018 – 5:10 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It’s been so wonderful to watch Tucker grow over the years – through photos, and through your words. Because I have the honor of knowing you in person, I can say that this blog stands for you – as a mother, as a woman, as a compassionate human being. Anyone can relate to your posts; I was not your target audience in the beginning but we still connected.May 25, 2018 – 7:54 amReplyCancel

  • Darshana Suresh - That’s a really cute photo. We all start out with a strong idea in our minds for our blogs and it’s natural for the course to change with time. Nevertheless, we always will find something or the other to keep us going 🙂May 25, 2018 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Aw! I love that picture of Tucker and have loved “watching” him grow through your blog. But, I completely understand what you mean about wondering what the purpose is today. I have had a similar struggle as my kids have gotten older and it is harder to share personal things about them. (Today, I shared about a picture that I wouldn’t even put on my blog!) Parenting changes. People change. And, apparently, blogging changes. I havent’ figured out a new purpose for my blog yet – not sure I ever will.May 25, 2018 – 9:02 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I’m not going to cheat and go look at the photo first. I’ll comment “over there”. Anyway, it’s good that your blog stood for something, even though that’s not what you write much about now. I bet people stumble upon Our Land and read posts after posts everyday. Going to look at the picture now to see if I’m right about which one I think it is.May 25, 2018 – 9:13 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Comments were closed over there so what I said was “YEP! I was right. I love that photo and his hair. Wow that this was the inspiration to start the Our Land series. Your words from 2013 so hopeful for our real land here in the U.S. but now so sad that it’s 2018 and our land is so much worse than it was five years ago 🙁 The bright spot is the leaps and bounds Tucker has personally made in five years – a youtuber for starters. ;-)”May 25, 2018 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

  • Debi - I have a hair twirler too! She has incredible curls, and when she was a little bitty one, she used to take the big curl in the front of her forehead and ask me to put it in a ponytail holder so it was always right there for her. She wrapped it around her middle finger and held it over her nose when her thumb was in her mouth. We even named it “the boinger.” That little girl is now 16. She still twirls her hair — though she no longer sucks her thumb — and I find it to be a sweet reminder of the little girl she was.

    Also, you know I understand that “in between” land, what I call the “layover in Holland.” W will always have more empathy and generosity because of our experiences there. It made us better people, I think, and I also think that it made our children kinder and more empathetic. What does Tucker say about his history? Does he know? Does he have thoughts about it? It would be interesting to hear!May 25, 2018 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

I was 12 when my mom took me to a Merle Norman makeup lesson. Models were getting their photos taken. That’s how I learned how to put on subtle (HAH! but it was the 80’s!) blue mascara, and also that I wasn’t as skinny as those girls. “I want to lose five pounds,” I said […]

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  • Dana - I didn’t ask! But I’m linking up after I write this comment, whether Kenya has yet or not.

    Okay, a few things. First, four-year-old you has the EXACT eyes as you now – I could identify who that little girl was just from that little bit of your face. Second, Merle Norman – I haven’t thought about that place in years! I’m jealous you got a makeup lesson there. Third, as for Tucker…puberty is a total crap shoot – he could drop all the “huskiness” once those hormones kick in. But even if he doesn’t, getting fresh air and eating healthy will serve him well forever. I worry sometimes about my son, who can eat anything he wants and he’s super slim. He’s not going to have that metabolism forever; he’s going to have to learn to eat a vegetable every so often.May 17, 2018 – 9:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to “I didn’t ask!” I seriously cracked up at that. I love that you could ID me from my four-year-old self. That’s somehow really sweet and reassuring, so thank you. Merle Norman. I know right? I forgot about it until I was writing last night. Writing sometimes is like that memory therapy or something. And yeah, I don’t know what’ll happen with Tucker but I’m committed to never shaming him and trying my best to remind him that his body is important for health but that it’s his other self that matters.May 18, 2018 – 9:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I just read Dana’s comment and I too worry about Christopher being able to eat anything he wants too and I want him to enjoy himself but at the same time want him to have better habits so he doesn’t end up with HBP like me or high cholesterol like his dad. I don’t let him add salt and I say, “that’s enough” with butter if were are out somewhere with bread and butter but I don’t do much other than that. It’s hard. I think you can’t win because I was brought up super healthy and I think that deprived me and I became a junkie as soon as I could buy my own junk. Long story to say I have no advice on that. But anyway Merle Norman is a throwback! I got my ears pierced there (At least four times). I should have put I have a total of 7 holes in my ears for the things people don’t know about me – anyway I went off topic. I don’t ever think I’ll be satisfied with my weight as long as I have clothes in the house that I used to fit. I want to be back in them. I have so many bottoms it’s ridiculous. I carry my weight in below the waist. But it’s nice when I can wear them again. I’m doing good right now but back in January I had to buy two pair of fat jeans to wear over and over because I gave the other ones away just last year. This time I won’t get rid of them. I can’t tell you when is the last time I had a nacho 🙁 or real pizza and by real I mean one I didn’t make. :’-(May 17, 2018 – 10:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hear you about Christopher and being glad he can eat what he wants but also worrying about later. I had a friend who grew up super healthy and she went crazy too when on her own. Like crazy then more crazy. Another story. You have 7 holes in your ears? Still? At one point, I had five (three on the left, two on the right) but two (the top two) have mostly closed up. I have my belly button pierced though even though I tried to let it close up forever ago. It’s been pierced for like 26 years and it’s all “nope, I’m permanent now.” UGh to the weight. I wish I gained from the waist down actually. My legs stay the same these days (wasn’t always the case and I blame age) so now it’s in my belly, boobs, and that. I hate it.May 18, 2018 – 9:29 pmReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - Seven forever holes. I wear 4 earrings in one and 3 in the other. One of those things my dad said I’d regret and I do but I’ll never tell him. I had one at the top of my ear but I did let that one close. It always hurt.May 19, 2018 – 11:16 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I’m impressed by seven forever holes and also LOL to never telling your dad he was right 🙂 🙂 🙂May 19, 2018 – 8:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Unfortunately, I have no suggestions for body image. I think we all struggle with this. Skinny people even say they feel fat and I look at them and wonder what planet they are living on. Your posts always feel my head with great images….I so remember Merle Normans!!!

    BTW, the surprise reflections are so disappointing! I too don’t want my children to feel body image pressures, but I’m not sure how to stop this. I keep telling myself I am 60 and still putting myself out there. As long as my body keeps working, I’m going to be thankful for that.

    I hope your move is going well. (OR…are you already living in Colorado?)May 18, 2018 – 1:19 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I felt fat at my wedding and I was SO SKINNY but not as skinny as I had been, so I guess there’s that perspective. Gawd, to be that thin now. But hey. What do we do? and Merle Norman! Funny
      I know what you mean about the surprise refections. So hard. I don’t know how to stop it either. I try to just talk about non-emotional things like “well since you played today, I bet your muscles want protein! Why don’t you think about how much good chicken will do if I make it super-tasty?” Tucker’s pretty easy – he doesn’t sneak food but it’s hard to deny him it too… because again, I don’t know what to do. Here’s to being thankful for working bodies.
      And no, we’re not in Colorado yet. I meant to post on FB but we’re in the crazy rental property showing times (16 in the last three days when we need to hide the toaster and toothbrushes and get out of the house with beds made). We leave on June 20 or 21.May 18, 2018 – 9:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - What a sweet picture of you and your mom!

    I think back to those times when I could eat anything I wanted and not gain weight too. Those day are long gone for me.

    Those nachos look so good!May 18, 2018 – 3:18 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Such a truism: our bodies change without our permission…there’s something about the 50 year-old mark (at least for me) where all of a sudden I was like, whoa, what is happening here? I did not approve a saggy face and a saggy body to match! But, I’m doing my best to embrace and accept it, but not gonna lie — it’s hard! As for Tucker, I can relate bc Big Dude was also 110% height and 18% weight when he was born. He mostly continued with that long, lean look until — now! Of course he’s still tall, but that freshman 10 (or 15?) really got him this year. At first I was remarking on it, because he was our buff, strong athlete a year ago, but then I realized I should back off and let him decide when he’s ready to start exercising again. He’s been home from college for a week now and he’s been talking about going to the gym — baby steps! I know he’ll get there when he’s ready…May 18, 2018 – 8:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that you chose that line because it’s my favorite line in this post and I almost made a pin of it but decided to use it later. UGH to the saggy face and saggy body. I hate (!!!!) it. But again, what to do? The med spa stuff is temporary and makes people look weird. Big Dude will get back. Hopefully, so will Tucker. It’s hard to not say something though. Mostly, I offer to throw the ball with him or whatever but this week, it’s been raining every day and we’re showing the house and and. Always an excuse right?May 18, 2018 – 9:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi - I have had the same struggles with body image as most western women, but when I had two daughters, I decided that it ended with me. I have modeled good self-talk and self-love whenever they’re around, even when I wasn’t feeling it. It’s also important to say things aloud like “Wow, I love how I look in this sweater!” or “I feel so put-together and pretty today!” I learned that it wasn’t enough not to talk negatively – I had to add the positive voice to my girls’ inner monologue, too. I’m not going to lie; it’s really hard. My hope is if my mom never said nice things about herself, and I can say them even when I don’t mean them, maybe my girls will be the ones to say AND mean them. That’s the dream, anyway!May 18, 2018 – 10:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You rock for recognizing that your daughters need to not just NOT hear negative talk but to hear positive talk. I’m going to try to say that I love how I look in whatever outfit too. Such a great idea and here’s to the next generation actually meaning it. It’s so huge.May 18, 2018 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - The ‘knowing when you’re not’ hungry is tough, amd tougher to back up with ‘so stop eating the yummy things already!’

    The pic of you then is gorgeous. Pics of now-you are gorgeous. You’re gorgeous. Btw.May 18, 2018 – 4:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You’re gorgeous. And totally completely sweet. <3 <3 <3 UGH FOOD though. I appreciate you.May 18, 2018 – 9:45 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - Ugh indeed. I’m afraid this was never a week I was going to join in with 😉 I think making steps towards what I want for my body is helping me to hate it less as it is now. So this time around that’s a big plus.
        I’m glad of you. That’s almost a nonsensical sentence but it makes sense in my head 😘May 19, 2018 – 1:50 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - So I get the never for the body week, but I sorta thought you’d want to write about food and the food industry – being vegan and how you got there. I don’t know why I thought that! And there’s still time if you got sparked! And I’m glad of you. Makes total sense in my head.May 19, 2018 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - Yaknow, I didn’t even begin to THINK of the vegan thing! My gift is not evangelism 🤣🤣May 20, 2018 – 12:08 pm

  • [email protected] - The weight thing is so hard with kids. Maybe especially since I have girls?? Never had a son, so don’t know if they feel pressure to look a certain way like girls do. Anyway, it is super hard – especially when I have “issues” myself and I want to be honest, but also not put any extra pressure on them or set an example of disliking the way I look. Ugh!!May 21, 2018 – 9:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s super hard I think no matter what, although I imagine it’s harder with girls, given my own history compared to my husband’s. But Tucker so feels it too… and I hate that. I need to talk nicer to myself in front of him for sure.May 22, 2018 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne Spence - There’s so much in here! Very interesting post, and I love the photo of you aged 4!

    Almost everyone has a complicated relationship with food and body. I work part-time in a clothes shop, and so many women have hang-ups about something – even those of us who are stick thin. It used to be my arms, which I felt were old-person flabby and I was confused to realise that a dress I thought I couldn’t wear last year looks fine this year. Then I also realised that I’ve been doing yoga/pilates every morning for a year and a half, so that probably made a difference! I didn’t start the exercises for that reason but because of persistent pain and they help so much I keep doing them. So I guess I’m agreeing with you that it’s good to (mostly) be okay with how we look. And to give ourselves slack if we worry about our appearance – because everyone does, yet it’s almost become shameful to admit it.

    I can relate to teenage you – I also weighed myself five times a day and tried to diet. Today I don’t even own scales and I don’t put on weight. When I went to college age 19, I lived in catered accommodation and ate the food provided, and lost weight without trying. In a rare moment of clarity I decided everyone has a natural body shape and worried far less about mine every since – which I think is largely why I don’t put on weight. I honestly think that the more we worry food, the more we want to eat the wrong stuff and so it’s a vicious circle.

    That’s not to say I haven’t had food issues. Mainly mine have been worrying about health because I have felt tired so often and had digestion issues. I’ve tried various things and sometimes I’ve felt if I just worried less it would all be okay! However, finally, after a couple of months on the low FODMAP diet, I feel much better. I miss a lot of the things I used to love eating – but I might yet get to eat them again, and I prefer not to have constant bloating etc.

    BTW, I did start a post for this link-up, but then there was a family situation that took up a lot of time. It’s resolved now, but my post didn’t get finished! I probably will finish it anyway because it might be useful for some people.May 22, 2018 – 4:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hope you’ll finish your post (or have, I’ll have to go check) because it does sound so helpful. I agree that the less we worry about weight and food the more natural eaters we are although the healthiest times in my life have been gotten from panic, like in a new relationship or whatever, which isn’t healthy. Tucker seems to not worry about body but omg does he love his carbs and I worry about that so much because there are so many foods he refuses to eat. I love your comment. And I thank you for it.May 22, 2018 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

      • Yvonne Spence - Kristi, here’s a couple of stories that might ease your worries. When my daughters were young, I helped out in classes and once got into a conversation with a teacher about foods our children eat/ate. As a child, her daughter had eaten very little variety – mainly cornflakes if I remember correctly. Her daughter was by then 25 and ate a very healthy diet. I also remember a friend coming to visit and the only way her 15-year-old son would eat vegetables was pureed into a pasta sauce. By mid-20s he was a personal trainer and eating plenty of veg!
        My own daughters, at 20 and 18, are somewhere in between, eating veg and also eating all sorts of carbs I consider unhealthy – and sometimes I’d like them not to. But then I remember myself at that age and feel glad at least they eat veg and don’t live on chocolate and fries and drink too much! 🙂
        So yeah, we mothers will worry, and that’s okay. It’s also okay not to! 🙂May 24, 2018 – 6:55 amReplyCancel

One of the things I love about blogging and the online community is that writers share deep parts of themselves. Don’t get me wrong – I share a lot with my close friends IRL as well. It’s that the blogging community knows things about one another more quickly. We write about life and our pasts in a […]

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - I would have never guessed number 10 because you did do so well. I had to do something at church one time and my kneecaps were jumping. I didn’t know they could do that. It’s been a long long time since I’ve done anything else like it. I can’t imagine it being works. I’m also surprised at the “many” scuba dives. I know you wrote about it but wow 40ish is a lot! I think my kneecaps would twitch down there too. I seem to remember you peeing in the graveyard. I’ll have to click over to refresh my memory. 🤣 We are going to have to work in a prompt for meeting your bio mom because I want to read it. Oh and back to Parkinson’s, “of course”. I’d be worried about having a for real heart attack because I take blood pressure medication.May 10, 2018 – 10:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ve thought about writing a post about meeting my bio mom and half bio sister but I’m not sure how private they feel about it and I’m friends with them (and two aunts and several cousins!) on Facebook and sometimes, a few of them read this. I don’t know if I could really write about all of the emotions and be totally honest about the ups and downs and frustrations knowing they might see it. But I could write about some… hm. LOL to your kneecaps jumping while scuba diving. Honestly, it’s so relaxing and calm. All you hear is your own breathing and it’s so beautiful.
      I completely understand the worry of a for real heart attack! Scary!May 11, 2018 – 7:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - You kicked. Down. A door…!!!May 11, 2018 – 5:08 amReplyCancel

  • Vickie - I’ve kicked in a door (or two) in my younger days 😳😬May 11, 2018 – 4:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Great list! So funny about you and mascara! I have an episode about a door and an old boyfriend too — I wasn’t strong enough to kick it down, but boy did I try! And, I can sooo relate about public speaking — I hate it and I’m a wreck when I do it. I recently had to give a 2-minute toast to my cousin for his 50th — 2 measly minutes!! — and I was so nervous — kind of irrational! Anyway, I like this listicle and will try to participate but have been crazy busy trying to move Big Dude back home for the summer — lots of laundry and lots of stuff that I need to find room for – ugh.May 11, 2018 – 5:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know – dumb right? The things we worry about. Mascara! Gah. Hmmm funny that you also tried to kick down a door (I wish I had failed…later I paid to have it fixed). Speaking in public is scary! And I can’t really figure out why. Good luck getting all of Big Dude’s stuff settled and I hope you will write a post and link up!May 11, 2018 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - Thanks for the prompt this week.It caused me to think back a few years, well actually a lot of years. 🙂
    Over the years I’ve made a lot of things from scratch, but sometimes I look for recipes that do not call for lots of ingredients.
    Oh, my. Your invention mentioned in #6! If your doctor had heard about that, he would have given you all sorts of warnings.
    I remember reading your #7 and #8 stories. I was so impressed with your skills in #8.
    Your anger in #9 must have come blasting out through every muscle in your body. What strength can be exhibited when one feels betrayed.
    I’ve known people who have joined Toastmasters in order to get past their fear of speaking, and it helped them.May 11, 2018 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ll have to check out Toastmasters. I’ve heard good things about them. And oh my – number 6. I can’t believe I shared that – so embarrassing but then again, everything about being 13 and 14 years old feels embarrassing I suppose. Luckily, I got brave pretty quickly!
      I’m quite embarrassed about number 9 as well but you’re so right. Anger and betrayal blast out. Later, I paid for his door to be fixed but I’ll never not cringe at the memory. Oh and recipes without a lot of ingredients is a good idea. I don’t mind (and enjoy) making complicated meals – it’s just baking that I seem to not enjoy although I have no idea why!May 12, 2018 – 8:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I love this post! I may even quick try to write one:). I’m sorry about your Bi0-dad, that really sucks. I get shaky, too. I diagnosed myself with MS, but the neurologist said I was cray-cray. Oy! What is wrong with us? And I’m impressed by your door kicking skills!May 14, 2018 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh I’d love to read yours!!! LOL to the parkinsons and self-diagnosis, and MS and the cray-cray. I don’t get it. Also boom I’ll always have my door-kicking-in skills! 😀May 22, 2018 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Cheese on every chip. Haha. Good advice. I have rarely, if ever, baked anything from scratch either. We have that in common.

    Kicked down a door. I’m surprised, I’ll admit, and impressed at your mighty strength in such a situation. I could never round up the strength to do something like that.

    I’m glad you came up with this prompt and feel free here to speak about all these things that make you “you”.May 20, 2018 – 9:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Baking feels overrated to me although for the friends I have that love it, it’s therapy, so I guess one more proof that we’re each different. I like that I share the never baked with you! Thanks for your sweet words Kerry!May 22, 2018 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

I was pregnant when we moved into this neighborhood. I brought my baby into it, and have built a life here. 14 years ago, I stood in a generic apartment in Reston, Virginia, unpacking my belongings, shocked at what the packers had wrapped in paper. A dusty stray pencil from under my bed? Wrapped well. […]

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  • Debi - I can picture your block – those awesome walkable neighborhoods where someone is always outside. I bet it will be really hard to move – but now you know already how to make those first friends, and friendships are like violets! They spread underground and suddenly, a year later, your life will be full of them!May 3, 2018 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s SUCH a good block although I didn’t know it once upon a time but yeah, it’s an amazing block(s) now. I like the idea of friendships like violets growing underground. Thank you for that.May 4, 2018 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww to sorta sobbing. I can’t imagine not loving where I lived. Home is solace. So much in the world is not good and wonderful when we enter it. Our neighborhoods should be. I hope that IF you want to come back that you find your home just as it was with all the comfort of being in a wonderful neighborhood. One thing my neighborhood never had for me was other mommy’s my age or kids of Christopher’s age. So I missed out on that.May 4, 2018 – 7:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t imagine not loving where I live either. Maybe this whole new place is just that I can’t imagine it, ya know? It’s a really pretty house… if we get it… maybe it’s the unknown. And this ‘hood? People know Tucker. I’m sorry you didn’t have that with Christopher.May 4, 2018 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I totally get how it can take a while to find your mom tribe and end up loving your neighborhood. Same thing happened to me when we first moved to suburbia and then I loved our neighborhood…and you mentioned Halloween — our neighborhood was such a great trick-or-treating place that people would drive from Other neighborhoods just so they could trick or treat in ours! As you may recall, we moved from that neighborhood two years ago — just about 2 miles away, but still, new neighborhood with a totally different feel. We love the new neighborhood too, but for different reasons. Now that our kids are older, we don’t place as much of a premium on who the neighbors are and who their kids are…although we DO have very nice neighbors! It may take a while, but I bet you will love your new neighborhood too!May 4, 2018 – 10:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OIMG it took me so long to find my tribe. Like, Tucker must have been seven. But I got it – they all were talking during preschool when we were doing preschool autism class. I love that you went back to your old neighborhood to do Halloween. I have neighbors here who have moved and done the same – come back here because it’s just that good.
      Thanks, Emily. Come visit in colorado???May 4, 2018 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - My wish for you is that your new neighborhood is just as awesome. And I know what you mean about East Coast people, but I always say hello when I walk by someone in the neighborhood, even when I have my earbuds in. Actually, I probably yell “Hello!” since I can’t hear myself, but whatever.May 4, 2018 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Your wishes echo mine. Thank you. Come visit??? It’s crazy about the east coat people right? I mean how does a person not even say “hello” back? LOL to the too loud earbuds. Robert and I are in a semi-fight about that now, as he likes to fall asleep to stories and can’t hear me.May 4, 2018 – 10:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Liszi. Or someone riew tired. - Awwwh I’m glad you love your neighborhood and the friends you’ve made there. I’m glad you did make them. I hope they know you well enough that you stopped being shy and started being bolshy (in the best way – you have a huge presence). I hope your new neighbors are wonderful and come to befriend and love you as much as your now-ones do.

    Here, we’re WAY east of your ‘people are colder in the east’ lol. I met some people in my road the other day who’ve been here for over 30 years. We’ve been here nine. We were all very polite. Might or might not bump into them again…May 4, 2018 – 6:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I do love it. Whether they know me well enough to know I stopped being shy? Maybe only one, which is one, and good right? LOL to bolshy because no clue what that is. But I like the presence thing. I like you, and at least ya’ll talk over there right? Even politely?But that seems sad, too…May 4, 2018 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - It IS sad. I think one of the things I found really wonderful and refreshing about America was the level of socialness amongst strangers who happen to be in the same location.

        I dunno whether your neighbours know you stopped being shy, but YOU know it, and that matters more. I am glad it happened and you found a niche there.May 5, 2018 – 1:17 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Agree but you still didn’t tell me what bolshy is. Is that like ballsy?May 6, 2018 – 8:30 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - LOL no! It means deliberately combative. You do it with humour though, not in a nasty way. Nothing like a good provoking now and then 😜May 7, 2018 – 4:33 am

  • Pat B - I so remember that feeling of moving from a place I really loved and where I had so many friends who had been part of some important changes in my life. It took me a while to feel like my knew residence was my home, but with time it happened, and I made new friends.May 5, 2018 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Pat. I know I’ll make new friends too (or I tell myself I know that I will) but still, it’s hard to leave. We spent the weekend on a Cub Scout camping trip, and between the bonfire and this morning’s climbing and zip lining activities and the whoops of kids and adults (my husband and I included), it’s hard to leave this place. Where Tucker, from 30 feet in the air can yell “Hey Elliot! Did you go on the purple one yet?” and Elliot yells back “no but you have to try the green.” Maybe it’s the familiarity I hesitate to leave. Thanks for the reminder though.May 6, 2018 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - The irony is kind of amazing, isn’t it? But I am confident that you will be more than fine in Colorada. You know how important it is to have friends and neighbors and you will be home. It’s going to be awesome!!!!! I 100% certain of it!May 7, 2018 – 10:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really is. I think (hope?) we’ll be fine there too although I’m super nervous about the specific neighborhood, because I think their politics are very different from mine although who knows right/? Maybe I will find friends. Come visit. We have room there – the houses are so different from here. Please, come visit.May 8, 2018 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Also thank you.May 8, 2018 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Hillary Savoie - This was a great piece Kristi. I think it is so interesting how hard it can be to join a community—and then how quickly you can’t imagine life without it again. I know the love will be tough…but, like I wrote about this week, you’ll carry your neighborhood with you. Xoxo (Sorry it took me a bit to comment!)May 7, 2018 – 10:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree about the joining of a community and finding acceptance there.. and then, it all changes. Thanks, Hillary. And yeah I know I’ll carry my ‘hood with me but also I wish I could transport the kids who “get” Tucker, you know?May 8, 2018 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Erika Ann - Moving to a new neighborhood is never easy I guess especially for those of us who are not the type of people who start conversations. But walking around really does help. When I first moved in our new house, I would usually go around and walk around with my dog. A few weeks later I found myself with the local dog owner community and I was making new friends! Great story.May 14, 2018 – 11:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s so true that walking around helps although here in Northern Virginia (suburb of DC) it’s amazing how many people you can say “hi” to that say NOTHING back. Like, nothing. Weird. Thanks for visiting and commenting!May 22, 2018 – 8:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - It’s the trouble imagining part that is the scary part. It takes me a while to get comfortable in a place too. I grew up around this area, visiting my grandmother in the house my father grew up in and going to school, high school, around here. The park next to my house is the park we went to play in so often when I was growing up. Now I live here, have done for over ten years, and I chose it mostly for that comfort reason. It’s the comfort with people, reaching out to my neighbours, that I have more trouble with. It’s only after my new neighbour reached out to me that I found some comfort in someone next to me, but I don’t come on it all naturally. I hope you will find all you have imagined, in a good way, the best way there is.May 20, 2018 – 4:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The trouble imagining part is the worst. I agree. I don’t come by the reaching out naturally either. It’s so hard to reach out. I guess it’s easy for some people but it’s not easy for me. At all. Especially when I know that the other moms who have kids Tucker’s age are so much younger than I am. I know that shouldn’t matter, but I feel insecure about it – more than insecure. Sometimes, totally paralyzed by it, if that makes sense. I’m glad your neighbor reached out – I remember reading about that on your blog and what a gift it is to have a neighbor friend.May 22, 2018 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

I can’t remember when, exactly, I developed a deep love obsession for horses, but I was young. One of our neighbors boarded them, and let me ride if I came to the barn after school to brush them and fill their water buckets. I was the luckiest girl in the world and I’m sure they […]

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  • Lizzi - Wow. You’ve sure had some amazing experiences. Did the colt get given the name you suggested? It’s pretty epic anyway. Poor Cue tho!April 27, 2018 – 1:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - They did keep the name I gave him. Or, at least, they told me they did. I know. Poor Cue! 🙁April 27, 2018 – 7:06 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - That’s so sweet of them. I hope they kept the name. To be fair, looking at the names they give pedigree racers, your choice is almost conservative by comparison 🤣April 28, 2018 – 2:21 amReplyCancel

  • Lydia - YOURE A HORSIE GIRL!? who knew? How sweet! Thats what we called the girls enthralled by horses when we were growing up… You were and are adorable by the way!April 27, 2018 – 5:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww poor Cue. I always said if I were rich I’d have a horse farm but I’d be rich enough not to have to do the gross stuff. Just have talking relationships with a bunch of animals. I’ve only ridden a horse one time and it wasn’t the best experience ever. I don’t actually want to do it again but I still think they are beautiful. My brother and his wife actually have two horses. I don’t even want to to hear the death story 🙁April 27, 2018 – 6:36 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know. Poor Cue!! I’d love to have a horse farm (and be rich enough to not do the gross stuff). That’s cool your brother and his wife have horses. And I know. Sorry about the death story 🙁April 27, 2018 – 7:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Wow, I could see how witnessing a birth of a horse, but also experiencing a death right after, could be life changing…they really are incredible animals. I am in awe of them — literally. I had a life changing experience with a horse too. I was very into horseback riding as a young camper at sleepaway camp. I was very confident, and fearless around them — until I was trying to put a bridle on one, who was eating his hay. No one ever told me not to bother a horse while it’s eating and I kept pulling his head away from his food — and he bit me on the leg. It was a more of a warning bite, but it still hurt my 9 year-old leg and bruised me for weeks. It was totally my fault and they tried to get me back on a horse a week later, but I was a mess. I cried and made all the other campers cry too.:) At the end of camp, they gave me an award, “most cheerful rider.” Haha…Long story short, I stayed away from horses for a long time after that, but did eventually get the courage to ride again a few times over the course of the next few decades – and loved every second of it. There’s even a picture of me in my wedding dress, petting a horse in Manhattan (one of the horse and buggy horses that I refuse to ever ride in because it’s mean). Anyway, despite my traumatizing experience, horses are awesome.April 27, 2018 – 9:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m in awe of them too, Emily. Truly. WOW to the horse that bit you on the leg. I’ve never been bitten but have always been nervous about it. Yikes. I’d cry too! LOL to the most cheerful rider award. I’m glad you got back on eventually. And I know right? The horse and buggy stuff in Manhattan is totally mean. Horses are awesome. But I’m sorry you had a bad story with one. That’s a bummer and life-changing I know.April 27, 2018 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Tom - I remember that! The Tates right? I remember Cue laying down, not sure at what point of your story that was, be it was burned into my memory. Good stuff!April 27, 2018 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes the Tates! Thanks, Tom! Funny how we remember some things so clearly and others? gah. xoxoApril 27, 2018 – 7:18 pmReplyCancel

  • [email protected] - Aw!! I never rode horses when I was younger, but my two oldest girls have been taking lesson for years.I see that obsession through them. I have always been amazed at their courage to get up on those huge, yet gentle animals and take control. They have each developed special bonds with horses at the barn – and we have said goodbye to a few as well. My girls have taken a few spills forms heir horses, but only once has it cause an injury when Megan got a mild concussion from it. Last summer, my parents paid for my three girls & me to go on a trail ride. It was a tourist-y thing and the horses were, of course, well-trained & super calm. It was fun but also nerve-wracking for me!! My horse was Jack – after I got on they told me he used to be a wild mustang! I’m still not sure they if were kidding or not! 🙂 Love this story & the photos!April 27, 2018 – 1:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That’s so cool that your two older girls have been taking lessons for years although I’m sorry they’ve already had to say goodbye to a few. Wow to the wild mustang Jack! I bet they weren’t kidding. How cool that a wild animal can then become a friend to humans. Amazing and thank you! Was so glad you joined this week with such a sweet memory!April 27, 2018 – 7:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh Abby would so get this and the no sense of direction, too! She got lost one time in the woods behind our house. Thankfully while she inherited my sense of direction she got her dad’s sense of survival 🙂

    But the love of horses is definitely one you two share and you put it beautifully.April 27, 2018 – 3:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow to Abby getting lost in the woods and so glad she has her dad’s survival skills! Yikes though. Scary. And aw I love that we share a love of horses. Tell her I think she’s even cooler than I used to think which was amazingly cool.April 27, 2018 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I’ve learned something new about you. I had no idea you were obsessed with horses,..nor woul I have guessed it! Gorgeous writing And beautiful pictures!April 27, 2018 – 6:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well, I’m not as obsessed as I used to be but I think horses are pretty amazing for sure. And aw, thank you for your kind words! XOApril 27, 2018 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - I think it is all in how one is introduced to horses, or for that matter anything else, how you grow to appreciate that subject, animal, even person, that makes all the difference in the world. You had a wonderful beginning and I can see how you could come to love horses. I’m so impressed how you and your horse were able to make it back to where your mom had fallen off. What a painful break and long recovery.
    I enjoyed reading about your kayaking experience with Tucker too. That photo of Chief and Tucker is priceless!April 28, 2018 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re onto something regarding how we’re introduced to horses and everything else in life. It does make all the difference. I often wonder if Tucker grew up in Colorado rather here in DC/ Virginia if he’d be a skier but instead, he wants to make sure we visit the monuments here again before we move. I guess there’s something to all of it and thank you for reminding me of that. I’m still surprised too by the fact we were able (two horses and me) to get back to my mom. Awww to the photo of Tucker and Chief. We miss Chief (and younger Tucker too I guess). Thank you!April 29, 2018 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - I was often on my uncle’s farms growing up, but that was more cows and sometimes pigs, and even then I was skittish about walking through the barn and having the cow sniff at me. I never was around horses much, so I never developed comfort with them, from an early age.

    Don’t get me wrong, I think they are amazing animals, and I think it is beautiful how certain humans and horses bond and connect. The wild bit in them, the part that keeps them running, is awe inspiring. The history between horses and humans is, indeed, a complicated one, both good and bad.

    I had few experiences and the trust never developed in me, not that they are bad, but just that they are animals and I was afraid of falling, not seeing, just trusting. I wish sometimes I had more of the good and positive, that I could sit on one and it would take me, like a guide animal, being my ride with eyes.

    I tended to be afraid of them, sudden or unexpected moments of reaction. I was sensitive to smells. Still, I hear how most little girls wanted a pony and I was always the little girl that wanted a whale/dolphin instead, but no go.

    Funny you mention horses, as if I were to post a photo of a horse, I would post a picture I drew in seventh grade art class. I can’t remember now why I chose to draw a horse, but I used my dark pencil and my art teacher, who was good at the art thing even though he was also history/geography nd more, he helped me with the shading technique. Well, it was after that picture that I had emergency eye problems and lost my left eye and most of the remaining sight I’d had in my right. I’d never draw again, with that dark pencil. I have that old art class folder right here on the table next to me, as it was just recently rediscovered in the basement of things from the past. Funny, how these connections from one thing to another happen.

    This was one of your most beautiful posts, pieces of writing and memory Kristi. I may not be able to see the photos, but the whole link you experienced at eleven, same age I lost my ability to see that dark pencil’s line on the page, such different life stories.

    Life and death, all in a few days time. What a life lesson, in so many things.April 28, 2018 – 9:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think being around horses when you’re young is everything, when it comes to horses and other animals. I’m terrified of snakes but one of my first roommates loved them. The fact that horses allow us to ride them, to tame them, and yeah, I get that that the history there is complex, but different from say snakes, right?
      I’m on a tangent. Sorry.
      I wish you’d had more good experiences with horses. But I get why you didn’t and the smells — GROSS. Interesting that you chose to draw a horse back in art class. I’d love to read more about those memories, if you choose to write about them. And wow, thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. That means so much to me, from you who is amazing.April 30, 2018 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

We’ve talked about moving out of state several times over the past decade. “It’d be fun to live in Europe for a while,” I say. “Or Colorado.” “Tampa?” he asks. “No way,” I say. “Too many bugs. Too humid. I can barely stand the bugs and humidity here.” This year, it got more real. My […]

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  • Dana - I’m really excited for you, Kristi, and a little sad for me. I know we don’t see each other often, but I’ll miss your face in person. Bright side…one more reason to plan a trip to Colorado!April 19, 2018 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m sad too. And excited. It’s scary! And I’ll miss your face in person too and please do come visit! I’d love that so much!!!April 20, 2018 – 4:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - You did such a great stream of consciousness post about some of the angst that accompanies needing to move after being so settled in, even if it is returning to a place you once lived.

    I wish you and your family well in the days ahead. Congratulations to your husband on his promotion.April 20, 2018 – 2:28 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - What a handy prompt, given the circs. Five minutes though! Could be fun. Will at least be quick 😉 I think home is where your heart is…the diffculty being when your heart is in more than one place.April 20, 2018 – 5:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well it just so happens that i’m pretty tight with the person in my head who thinks of the prompts and MAY have thought about this when choosing it… Yes exactly what you said about your heart being in more than one place. That’s me alright! I know it’s the same for you…April 20, 2018 – 4:06 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - Ahhhh the old ‘have blog hop; shall do as I wish’ trick. Sneaksy. I like it.
        Damn hearts getting all pieced up and building homes all over the place!!!April 20, 2018 – 5:24 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Yes, yes indeed. My hop, my stuff. Usually, I’m not so prepared and sit here at the last minute thinking “UMMMMM.” But this one, I knew I’d write about moving. And yeah, silly hearts getting love all over the place. Don’t they know better?April 20, 2018 – 8:52 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - Always flows better when you have something in mind, even if you only get to write for five (ha!) minutes.
            Hearts? Know better? Perish the thought! I think they do it on purpose.April 21, 2018 – 7:28 am

  • Emily - Wow Kristi – I think this is so exciting! I know moving and change in general can be so scary, but it’s also so adventurous and the fact that you’ll be going back to someplace familiar, and with family living there already, makes it that much better. And, the fact that you can possibly come back — or that maybe you won’t want to — either way, I feel like it’s a win-win — you have choices! Anyway, congrats to your husband and to all of you for embarking on this next adventure — can’t wait to hear more about it!April 20, 2018 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Emily! It’s exciting. And scary. And stressful, but I think it can be good. The weather in Colorado sure is better than here. And there are way fewer bugs, so that’s a win. 🙂 Here’s to choices and thank you again!April 20, 2018 – 4:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Holy crap! That is a lot to take in. You’re moving. Tucker is moving. You feel safe enough in him and you and Robert to leap half-way across the country. You are going to rock this, Tucker is going to love Colorado and cousins and grandparents. And I love the well, Robert comment 🙂April 20, 2018 – 8:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s SO MUCH. Gulp. Thank you. And I hope so much that Tucker will be okay. It feels easier here that the same group of kids has known him since kindergarten and just accepts him. Hopefully, he’ll be fine once we get there. Gulp. But yeah, Colorado and cousins and grandparents are a win for sure. And LOL to the “Well, Robert.” So true!April 20, 2018 – 4:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I’m glad you didn’t stop. I imagine it’s very hard to leave the house where you came home with your baby and have lived so long. I think I’d feel the same way. As said as I am for you to leave the same timezone as me I’m excited that you’ll be close to family. That’s something I’ve missed out on my entire like – not having cousins around or grandparents one hour away and the same thing is repeated for Christopher. I hope it works out as it should, if you love it there then maybe there will always be a DOD job.

    I clicked over to ghetto carwash and had to laugh because I wrote to throw the paint away and call someone but we know that you didn’t. LOL!

    Sweet post – I feel all the feels.April 20, 2018 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m glad I didn’t stop too. Like I texted, I was relieved to read this because I was thinking how I was breaking the rules and thought you might be annoyed! 😀 It really will be nice to be close to family though. LOL to the ghetto carwash and not throwing the paint away – I did use that paint but had somebody come do it for me!April 20, 2018 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

  • UP - Whoa! Lots to process. Best wishes and happy trails .April 20, 2018 – 3:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I love Colorado. I lived in Wyoming for a bit. Super exciting to go back to clean air, less humidity, and hippies. Plus, the Rocky Mountains is the MOST IDEAL place in a case of a Zombie Apocalypse. It’s been well researched. I personally would like Tampa though, and I’ve been thinking, “Europe? Maybe?” a lot. But I’m a beach bum at heart. So… Don’t worry about the change part. New memories will form just as they would in the house you’re in now. Home isn’t a house. It’s the people.April 22, 2018 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love Colorado too… it’w where I grew up… it’s mostly the change. The leaving friends behind. I know it’ll be fine and that we’ll make new memories and thanks for the zombie apocalypse advice. Tucker will love that fact! 🙂April 23, 2018 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - I still can’t believe you’re moving! But chnange is GOOD. I firmly believe that. And not selling your home always leaves the door open:)!.April 22, 2018 – 11:15 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t believe we’re moving either. Gah. And yeah, good to leave the door open, especially since we might be back in a few years. But hey when you roadtrip, come to Colorado! Stay with me!April 23, 2018 – 5:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Wow. I have never moved…well, far. I call it moving, but I don’t consider it anywhere near as brave as what you are doing. I moved into town and my family have never left a house behind for long, but I am trying to write a novel about a family member who moved across the ocean, so it is on my mind. I don’t know how anyone does it, whether they have a real choice or not. I am aware a house isn’t everything. I am so glad you will be with family though. That’s the best part.

    I really am curious about your story though, if you ever return or stay gone. Big life decisions are truly that…big!!!

    I hope that last porch end-of-school party is epic for Tucker and for you too, before the big change, but there will be more parties to come in Colorado.April 22, 2018 – 6:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Moving is a pain near or far. A long time ago, I moved into an apartment in the same complex and I think it was one of the worst moves ever because I thought it was no big deal. You’re writing a novel? That’s so cool! I can’t wait to read it! Thanks, Kerry. I hope there are more parties to come in Colorado too!April 23, 2018 – 5:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - WHOA. Well, congrats to you! I swear they will know him, as him. And they will know you, as you. And nothing is permanent unless you really really want it to be. And Colorado is so dang gorgeous, at least in my dreams. I’ve never actually been there. Argh. I need to start researching blog conferences I can go to out there!April 22, 2018 – 9:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - WHOA is exactly how I feel. Truly. And thank you for the congrats and the encouragement that they’ll know him as me, and me as me. That helps. Colorado really is gorgeous. Come visit!April 23, 2018 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • [email protected] - OMG!! I didn’t write this week and almost didn’t read! I would have missed this big news! We have considered a few job offers that would make us move. We lived in Nashville, TN for about a year, but otherwise we have always been here. Sometimes, I think I would LOVE to move away – start over – new house, new friends, new adventures. But, then, I remember that my family is here and my kids friends are here. So many mixed emotions!!! I am excited for you and hope the move goes smoothly!April 24, 2018 – 6:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Lisa! So many mixed emotions for sure… and I’ll probably write more about it (maybe??? I don’t know). My brother is in Memphis right now, for a couple years to date but they want to go back to Colorado. I take that as a good sign, although I don’t know. Moving and coming back will stink a bit if that’s what ends up happening… .but wow, the housing is cheaper in the Springs than here so there’s that. Still, friends. Neighborhood. All that stuff. Thank you so much for reading anyway!April 24, 2018 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Wow. I’ve been so absent from blogging, from Facebook, from everything. Look what I’m missing! And look at this freaking link-up hop I’m missing!
    I suck.
    You’re moving. So far away and we never even got to visit. Blargh.
    I wish you all the best! xoApril 25, 2018 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You DO NOT suck. At all. Never. And I know. Sigh. Weep. I can’t believe we didn’t meet in person. YET. I’ll be back. I’m keeping my job here so I’ll come in now and again so they remember what I look like. <3April 26, 2018 – 7:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Oh, wow! Moving is exciting and the pits, all wrapped up into one giant ball of stress. I feel like I’ve been in the process of moving for over a year now (probably because I have), and blogging has taken a back seat for quite a while. I’m cautiously optimistic that I will be able to become more involved in blogging in the somewhat-foreseeable future. I sat down today to visit some blogs I haven’t read in a while, and what’s the first thing I read? You’re moving to the state next to mine! It sounds like Colorado has friends and family to welcome you, but if you ever drift west into Utah, let me know. We can take Tucker to a dinosaur museum or something. 🙂May 1, 2018 – 7:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Moving is the pits, and exciting. Thank you for the reminder and affirmation that it’s a giant ball of stress, because YES. Wow. More so now than when I had a family for sure. I get what you’re saying about blogging, and hope you’re right about being more involved because blogging has definitely taken a back seat to this week’s yard sale, and I feel weird about it, but it is what it is. And YES, part of the “feel better about moving” thing we’ve given Tucker is that there will be a lot of camping trips and seeing the amazing out west stuff like Salt Lake, the red rocks, Glenwood Canyon… all on the way to Utah, and some in Utah. I’ll let you know!May 3, 2018 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - This is EXCITING and SCARY and WONDERFUL and so much more! But you are going to do great wherever you live. If Robert, Tucker, and you are together, it will be home. I hope you enjoy this next adventure and chapter of your life! Can’t wait to hear more.May 3, 2018 – 7:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s all of that for sure. And, I’ll be closer to you. Surely you fly through Denver on all your trips sometimes?May 3, 2018 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

      • Linda Atwell - Yes! Yes, we do! AND, we are supposed to come to Colorado in the next year or so to visit friends….so now we can visit you too! See, this is a win/win situation for both of us. 🙂May 4, 2018 – 12:22 amReplyCancel

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