Finding Ninee » Sharing our special needs and autism story through heart and humor.

So, some of you know that I’m more than a little worried about my son Tucker starting kindergarten on Tuesday (OMFG deep breaths). I’m worried that he’ll be picked on, that he’ll give up on the academics and language that he’s already behind on, and I’m beyond sad and sadsasd, that it’s the beginning of […]

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  • clark - no! frickin! way! I am FRIST
    Damn!
    (1st rule of FRIST Claim FRIST first read, second)
    clark recently posted…TToT the Wakefield Doctrine (‘no!! really?! well, as long as it is still light out and there’s an internet to post to, the Doctrine will be there’)My ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 6:38 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - How lovely was this? My little adventurous friend will be king of the playground! My prediction!
    Oh yeah….NOT FRIST!!! BITE THAT CLARK!!! HAHASeptember 1, 2014 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA you bit Clark? Nice! Er wait, um what? And yeah, I think he might be pretty awesome on the playground. It’s the rest of it! But I know I know… and thanks, Zoe.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 12:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - One day behind you and we start on Wednesday, but like you trying my best to have all the hope in the world and see all the good in it, but damned if I say not an emotional wreck here still this morning thinking about it all. Wishing Tucker a ton of luck and best wishes tomorrow and of course you too my friend. Love you and hugs :)
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Worst Mom for Kindergarten OrientationMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 8:27 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Friday here. Hi, I’m Tamara. And I’m terrified of kindergarten. Help me.
    This post is reading like my prayer and my mantra right now.
    Yesterday Scarlet went to the fair without me and did some harness jumping thing and I thought, “Well, she’s flying away, isn’t she?”
    And then she came back.
    Tamara recently posted…Let It Go.My ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 9:32 amReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Deep breaths! You got this!
    Kerith Stull recently posted…Hiatus Over: Welcome Back Inspiration and FocusMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

  • Clark Scottroger - …I repeat. hoky smoke!*
    Evocative as always… you have his back (in all the ways that are important) and he knows it (in ways that he might not think it’s necessary to acknowledge). That’s all we (as children and adults) can hope for, no?
    Now…the last minute trip to the amused park, that is what (the child inside me) reminds me is a cool parent.

    * old cultural referenceSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It is okay to be sad. It’s an end, but it’s a beginning. And you’ll be in my heart tomorrow, as Tucker goes to school and flys.
    Dana recently posted…Beginnings and endsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - If it helps any, I had all these same fears about the twins going into high school this year. It’s natural to worry. I have no doubt Tucker will do fine. He’s an amazing kid.
    Twindaddy recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful #63My ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Beautifully said. You so well capture the bittersweetness of it all. Thank you!
    Elizabeth recently posted…TRIPPING ACROSS THE PONDMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

  • KeAnne - Hugs and good luck tomorrow! I hope you both have a great day and first week. We survived ours although I think we already have a cold. Awesome ;-) September 1, 2014 – 12:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie @ The Latchkey Mom - I was thinking about you today and hoping you were okay. I think you would feel this way, on the cusp of kindergarten whatever the situation. Tucker is your first born AND your baby – so you’re feelings are magnified. Your fears are valid, but I truly believe he will fly:)! Hang in there momma.
    Allie @ The Latchkey Mom recently posted…Guest Post: Passings & CrossingsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 12:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - I have faith in all Kindergarten teachers to love, honor and cherish the essence of 5 year-olds everywhere. Always harder on the moms. I remember crying my eyes out when my daughter started Kindergarten. She was fine and happy. Me, not so much. September 1, 2014 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I am a very non-confrontationl person and I avoid fights at all costs – except when it comes to my kids. I have confronted people and said things and done things I never thought I could do in the name of making things right for my kids. I hope you don’t have to fight to make things fine for Tucker, but if you do I know you will. And, yay, for last minute summer celebrations – we stayed in the pool far too late last night splashing and laughing, knowing it probably won’t happen again until next summer. Hugs to you, friend! I know tomorrow will be hard, but you all come out on the other side with a smile and new found grace & love!
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…School Year ResolutionsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 2:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Tracie - “When we don’t know, and are not in control, we will become the grace.” This. So much this.

    I hope you both find all the grace you need tomorrow and throughout this year. It is a big change, but you are an awesome mom, and I know you have prepared him as much as possible for the newness of it all. The rest will all work out.
    Tracie recently posted…Last WordsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I think the anxiety you feel is something parents across the board feel. No matter what the conditions, how old, or milestones they’ve crossed. I felt like that for the the 1 year old class on up to first grade. I’ve leveled out for 3rd and 4th and surely next year for 5th but I am sure it will start over again for middle school and then high school, college and 1st job and so on. The wonderful thing about young ones is that they don’t judge so easily. And 99% of teachers are wonderful. My wish for Tucker is to have a wonderful first day tomorrow. Sleep well tonight mom!September 1, 2014 – 6:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Darling Kristi it’s not the end, it’s yet another wonderful beginning. My four (from 8th grade to K) evoke the same feelings in me year after year. And every end-of-summer I hold my breath and repeat my mantras and every spring I thrill to realize it’s almost summer again :). Sending big love and wishes for a happy First-Day-of-Kindergarten for your superstar xxSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Rudell Beach - Good luck to Tucker, and to you!! <3September 1, 2014 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land Series post was authored by the introspective and compassionate author Yvonne, of Inquiring Parent (and book Drawings in Sand).  Yvonne is the amazing woman who taught me that the difference between self esteem and self compassion is actually not only significant, but is super important. Yvonne practices what she preaches, and documents the process in a way that is inspiring and […]

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  • Considerer - *taps mic*

    *coughs*

    *is overcome by sudden stage fright*
    Considerer recently posted…Two years in the ‘sphereMy ProfileAugust 27, 2014 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - My mother always taught me I should treat others the way I would like to be treated and refill to this day I try my best to heed those words, because probably one the best pieces of advice I ever got. Reading this, I could truly relate and like I said I very much always try to respect others and think of how they would feel before I do react for the most part.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Sunflowers, Back To School & Wonderful Wednesday #88My ProfileAugust 27, 2014 – 8:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I try to think of how other people would feel, too, Janine but I don’t always do a good job of not assuming that they don’t respect me or something. If that makes sense.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Janine, how great that you have been able to follow your mother’s wise advice.
      As a child I remember reading “The Water Babies” in which were Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by, and Mrs Be-Done-By-As-You-Did. You can imagine the latter was a bit fierce and I aspired to be Mrs DAYWBDY! Yet, I didn’t always find it easy, partly because although many adults tell children that’s how to live, they don’t follow it themselves so kids get punished. This process has helped me a lot.
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 4:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Karen Perry - Yvonne is awesome! She recommended a children’s book by Byron Katie called Tiger-Tiger Is It True and I bought it for my kids. It really helped my 5 year old turn around his thoughts so that instead of saying things like, “You never lightsaber fight with me,” he says, “You lightsaber fight with me sometimes after you cook dinner.” He really caught on to how our thoughts affect how we feel. I tried the same technique with my 4 year old daughter and she said, “Mommy, stop talking like the book.” You can’t win them all!August 27, 2014 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Where the hell IS everyone? This is BRILLIANT :D

    Ohhh Yvonne – you make it all sound so INCREDIBLY simple :) August 27, 2014 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - This is what I needed to hear today, this week, this summer:

    “Times with my children came to mind. If realised that if I think they should respect me when it seems they aren’t, I feel hurt and defensive. Without the thought, I wonder if something is bothering them. I realise that their behaviour doesn’t mean anything about me.

    With the thought – it’s personal. Without the thought – it’s not.”

    I’ve been bothered with the emergence of the term “respect” in my dialogue (which is really more of a monologue these days) with my son. As you know I come from the Middle East where part of the culture is evaluating yourself, the environment etc based on the concept of respect. I often found talk of respect and the demanding of it, as you describe in your post, a bit laughable. As you suggest those who deserve respect don’t get it by demanding it. And now I’m a parent to a five-year-old boy and I constantly demand respect. I demand respect and cringe.

    This was precisely what I needed, as I was starting to feel this dissonance with myself. As usual, I am bookmarking this and will be coming back to it. What a WONDERFUL addition to Our Land, Kristi I think it brings a totally new dimension to the series by offering some practical advice on our way to wonder and compassion.

    You, Yvonne, are my guru (or to quote rap, Respect. ;-) )
    Katia recently posted…My ‘Before School Starts’ Bucket ListMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so agree, Katia! I think it’s hard to not demand respect from our kids at times when demanding it goes against getting it really. I love how Yvonne breaks it down here and makes me realize that whatever feelings I’m having are my feelings, not the people who I attribute them to. Thanks so much!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Oh Katia! “I demand respect and cringe.” Been there, done that! I can definitely relate, and to what you write about teh dissonance with yourself. It can be such a challenge to step away from the way our culture predominantly behaves, and I definitely struggled with that a lot when my girls were small. (And occasionally do now.) Sometimes we know something in our hearts, but because all around us seem to see it differently we don’t trust our knowing. That’s why it’s so wonderful to have this amazing tool the internet!

      I love what you wrote here; it’s so wonderful to see how this is resonating with you (and with others!)
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie @ The Latchkey Mom - Wow, that was a lot to take in – all of it good stuff. Honestly, I printed it out because I think it’s something I need to read again (and again). I love the concept of the turnaround! And I agree, I think our fears and insecurities get in the way of how we perceive reality. wow, wow, wow…
    Allie @ The Latchkey Mom recently posted…Once Upon a Time: My Visions of the FutureMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie,
      I love the concept of the turnaround, too. So true that our own fears and insecurities form our perceptions which really may or may not be accurate. Thanks, Allie!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Allie, the process can take a while to get used to. But so worth it.
      The turnarounds are powerful and do be sure to go through the questions first, because otherwise they can sometimes feel like self-judgments – which is never their purpose. Instead it’s to see innocence in ourselves and others.
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Wow Yvonne! This is amazing. I think I need to re-read it a few more times to totally understand it though. It is wonderful that this book changed your life and this process seems liberating!!
    Chris Carter recently posted…47 Years Of ThankfulMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think I need to read it at least weekly, Chris and thank you so much for coming by! Here’s to all of us learning and growing.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 4:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Chris, yes liberating is the word I’d use too! I remember not long after I’d read the book, realising that almost everything I thought was probably a lot of nonsense, so I didn’t have to take it too seriously. Now, if only I had remembered that all the time! :)
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - I loved this and I love yvonne. I think the practice aspect is the most important. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense but you just have to do it. In a car so can’t be too eloquent. :) August 28, 2014 – 1:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, THANK YOU so much for having me on your blog and for letting me share this wonderful tool. I am so thrilled that people are finding it resonates.
    And thank you everyone for your comments.
    Yvonne recently posted…Respect – and how to get itMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Samantha Ryan - I am being reminded that I really need to return to The Work. I love how easy Yvonne make things sound. So encouraging!!!! I loved this all over the place.August 28, 2014 – 7:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Intriguing post. Yvonne, I am just now becoming aware of your writing (initially through FTSF and now through Kristi). Not sure about what The Work is, but I’ll check it out. Thanks for sharing!
    Anna Fitfunner recently posted…Game Review: Go Go MongoMy ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 1:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne is great, Anna. She’s the one who let me know about the difference between self compassion and self esteem, which is really a huge difference.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Rudell Beach - Indeed, it’s about not taking things so personally. When we feel “disrespected” it’s often, though not always, not at all about us. And we have to realize we can’t change what that other person is doing, but we can learn not to take it personally. We can question why we are demanding that someone else make us feel a certain way. Lovely post, Yvonne.August 29, 2014 – 4:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - Yvonne, I love this so much. I also love The Work and Byron Katie in general. Reading that book changed my life. I love how you brought that practice to Our Land today- thank you! August 29, 2014 – 5:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Very interesting perspective—especially on the “turnaround.” I think respect has to start within ourselves. We can’t expect others to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves.
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Oh, The Places You’ll Go!My ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 9:17 pmReplyCancel

  • April - I actually stopped getting angry with people when I started believing the quote from Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” The reason for that is, when they act a certain way, I know that’s who they are. I can try to change them, but I also realize that it’s not about me. I have enjoyed immensely learning about other people in this process, some people are closer to me than others because of it. I don’t expect everyone to respect me, nor do I demand it, especially if it’s a person in passing. That story of the teacher reminds me of the issue with blacks and tipping. There’s a whole “thing” where blacks don’t tip, yet blacks tend to get worse service. It’s not bad or rude service, it’s just not as good, not as attentive as you can visually see from other tables. But where did it start? Someone started, and others continued. I know when I get good service, I give a good tip (great = great too!). I actually had one server hug me after a rough service with our table. She was great, even though there was a lot of us and a couple of orders changed. Our tip was about 25% on a large bill. Before she looked at it, she was irritated and upset. I had a feeling she expected less than great because we did have so many issues. But she actually hugged me. It was really sweet. I just remember, it’s not about me.
    April recently posted…Getting a Grip While in the GymMy ProfileAugust 31, 2014 – 7:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Phenomenal! I am going to read this one over and over!
    Elizabeth recently posted…TRIPPING ACROSS THE PONDMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 12:45 pmReplyCancel

Last night, after gingerly sneaking out of my sleeping son’s room to the familiar sounds of his gentle snores, the quiet creakiness of a house after dark, and my guilt for leaving him while he’s asleep and unable to protest, I retreated to my office to write. I needed the soothing taptaptap of my keyboard. […]

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  • Kathy Radigan - I felt this way each time my kids started kindergarten, but really felt it four years ago when my last baby did!! I too felt as if some of my sweetest days were behind me. It goes so fast!!! I will say that I adored kindergarten all three times and the kids are just way too cute, but that doesn’t make the endings any better!! Much love to you my friend and congratulations on your well deserved success!!! xoxo
    Kathy Radigan recently posted…Watch Out for Flying ObjectsMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kathy, thank you so much for your kind words and reminding me that I’m not alone in this!! It so goes too fast and makes me wonder what I’ve done with all of this time, really… I so appreciate your encouragement and am SO happy I had the honor of meeting you in person this summer!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 12:31 amReplyCancel

  • Mytwicebakedpotato - Here’s to a great start of school!! Hang in there, mama :) August 25, 2014 – 12:27 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - You have done exactly enough, but I understand the reflection that comes with change and milestones.

    Happy birthday!
    Kristi recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful: BYU Education Week 2014 EditionMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 12:35 amReplyCancel

  • Kathy at kissing the frog - Honestly, I feel this way at the end of every summer. Did we do enough, and that they are growing up. I know I have great memories of our summers, so I hope they do, too. Good luck with kindergarten – you’ll both do great. :)
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted…We All Have DemonsMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 2:26 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Now that Phoenix and I actually have a community of bloggers who choose to follow us or reciprocate comments…this summer I’ve been blessed with learning about the hottest topic, bar none. That being Moms and their children’s upcoming start to Kindergarten. It’s been fascinating to read all of the emotion that has existed in it’s most raw form with those mothers. From an outsiders viewpoint from me to you as both your real life friend and blogger friend – I can assure you did more than a GREAT majority of mothers, Kristi! It’s only relevant on a different level, yet quite the same, in that I’ve asked the same questions. Did I do enough with him this summer? Have I done enough, ever? Those 2 self-questions of yours zeroed in like a marksman at my heart. Hence, I’ve been pounding out bucket list items and road trips (some all in the same) with my own kid, Phoenix. You are blessed with decades upon decades of time left with Tucker who, I say again, is going to achieve beyond your wildest dreams! :) I’m getting in as much time as I can in “doing enough” with a kid that has an hourglass with only limited sand. And yet, those 2 questions will forever haunt me. It’s a fact. I sooooo related to this and thank you for listening to another one of my dang rambles! Your writing affects me in a great way. Huge kudos always to you for that, our friend :)
    Mike recently posted…Man’s Best Friend – ALS Ice Bucket ChallengeMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 3:21 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I really should not have read this as soon as I got up on the first day of school. I already have a beginning/end story bubbling inside me, and this is making it overflow. I understand your sadness that is mixed with thankfulness. I am so proud of the impact your LTYM reading has had on so many parents, and I am so glad I was able to see it in person.

    You are right – you and Tucker will be just fine. Xoxo
    Dana recently posted…What’s on your phone? {#TuesdayTen Linkup}My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - :) nuff said!
    & HAPPY BIRTHDAY!August 25, 2014 – 6:39 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Looks like Tucker has had a wonderful summer. Kindergarten for Christopher doesn’t seem so long ago but he’s going into the 4th grade. I can remember feeling sad. More so because it was the real beginning of serious school. Of course I had tears at the drop off and on day two when he actually took the bus. But I think it gets easier, especially once you know he’s had a good day. ;-) This quote is so freaking true it hurts knowing it – Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. – Elizabeth Stone. Way to tell the truth Elizabeth. :-/

    That snake in the water float gave me the heebeegeebees.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…Dear Sunday: August 24, 2014My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 7:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya, I know I will have massive amounts of tears at drop off (or the bus, I’m not sure what’s better). It just goes so so fast!! And that quote is so so true. I’ve heard it before but without the first line which makes it even better. Thanks, Kenya. I hope 4th grade is awesome to Christopher!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 10:02 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Aww, Kristi, you know I totally get it and then some and I still am not wanting to admit this is the last week of summer here even as much as I know it is. I also (as you already know) am totally weepy over Emma starting Kindergarten next week. We got her teacher and room assignment on Friday. She has the “nice” teacher – the one I was told that everyone just loves and would be great for her. So, I know I should be sighing a big sigh of relief, but still all over the place myself. I like you definitely have a lot to be thankful for, but not going to lie still totally emotional here, as well. Hugs to you today and just know again I get it completely!
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Dad Is Fat!, Overdrive & A ConcertMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 8:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know you get it Janine! I wish you lived closer so we could go have a cryfest breakfast on Tuesday!! We don’t get to meet Tucker’s teacher until Thursday – so fingers crossed and OMG how did today come so quickly??August 26, 2014 – 8:26 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - I’ve sent 5 kids off to kindergarten and two off to high school. I get sad at the end of every single summer. My kids love summer, as we do many of the things you do with Tucker. Tucker will remember these summers you packed full of fun. I promise. You’ll have lots of summers to do it again and again. Yet when they go to kindergarten, it is a change. A big one. It’s the start of them becoming big kids. Of becoming more independent beings. It’s great for them, but so darn difficult for us. You have done more than enough, and you’ll keep doing it as long as you are alive. :)
    christine recently posted…Power, Peeps, Potatoes, and People Please Me, TToT Week 62My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 8:05 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Christine, I know that we have lots of summers to come, but this is the one that well, yeah, becoming big kids! Thank you so much for your sweet comment!August 26, 2014 – 8:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - What a bittersweet time (and post). You have made a full summer of memories that both you and Tucker will cherish for many years to come! Kindergarten is going to be a big change, but an exciting one, too. Here’s to lots more good memories to be made over this school year! And I am so, so thankful to have met you and all the LTYM ladies this year — absolute highlight. We are here for you!
    Michele @ A Storybook Life recently posted…Three Good Things [08.23.14]My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 8:34 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Michele!! I’m so glad that I met you and all of the LTYM ladies this year as well!! And yeah, the kindergarten thing – it’s kinda sad. It’s like he’s not a little baby anymore. Which, duh, but still. *sniff*August 26, 2014 – 8:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - As moms, we always seem to second guess ourselves. What a sucky thing we do to ourselves! In the immortal words of “Frozen”…. Let it go! And Let Tucker go a little, too. This going to be a fantastic year for both of you! You’re going to rock this out!
    Kerith Stull recently posted…View from an Adult with DisabilitiesMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 9:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thank you Kerith!! Here’s to letting it go (and I still haven’t seen Frozen!) and not doing this to ourselves!August 26, 2014 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Ohhhhh beautiful, beautiful Tucker :) I love those photos of him – especially the upside-down tongue-poking-out smiley one :D It does sound as though you’ve had a largely, on the whole, incredible summer with him, and I’m sure you will have created very many cherished memories for him.

    And you know what, as ever, it’s because you CARE. You KNOW that these things are important to him, so they become important to you, and you PAY ATTENTION to them. And that’s what (for me) puts you firmly into the ‘really, really great mom’ category. You’re not just letting parenting happen (though I daresay it also does) but you’re intentionally doing things SO THAT he has an awesome time, and SO THAT he knows you care, and SO THAT he knows he matters hugebig to you.

    And that won’t change, even if Kindergarten makes everything else different.

    (and also thank you, my sweet friend, for linking me and for liking that post so much…bless your boots, it felt like the very least I could do on your birthday and well, I wanted to. And I’m afraid I hijacked FTSF cos I wanted LOTSOFPEOPLE to see how fab you are :D It worked. And they ALL agreed :D )August 25, 2014 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Virtual hand holding! First day was today for MoCo.August 25, 2014 – 10:35 amReplyCancel

  • Allie Smith - Kristi, my heart hurts for you. I remember last year, when my baby went to kindergarten, I lost my sh&&! Its so hard to let them go. I understand your fears, too. But you have.done everything possible for your son. You made it momma…he’s going to FULL kindergarten. Also, having met him, I am confident he’s going to thrive!August 25, 2014 – 12:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Allie. Seriously, thank you. I am pretty sure that I will completely lose my shit, too. On Tuesday, and maybe a few times before then as well.August 26, 2014 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

  • KeAnne - Hugs. Today was my baby’s first day, and I’m having soooo many feelings. I hope it’s a good day for him. It is a huge milestone and like you, I hope our summer was full of fun and great memories.August 25, 2014 – 12:55 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh! KeAnne! How did it go? I hope it was amazing and of course, sending huge hugs back. So hard this letting go stuff is!!!August 26, 2014 – 8:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, I can relate to your feelings. When my older daughter started school, I felt so sad. It did help that I read a magazine article at the time, in which the writer said that children grow up, and we should just accept that and that feeling sad about was childish and being in denial. It took me a long time to realise that no, it wasn’t. It was accepting my feelings. It’s utterly okay to feel the way I did and that you do.
    As to whether you’ve done enough – of course you have. If you hadn’t done enough you probably wouldn’t be worrying about whether or not you had!
    Yvonne recently posted…When it’s good not to be goodMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 4:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Just noticed that should say “It did NOT help that I read a magazine article at the time…”
      Autocorrect at work again!
      Yvonne recently posted…When it’s good not to be goodMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 4:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m so glad you clarified that Yvonne, because I was all like “wait, it’s childish to think that it’s sad?” But you’re right. No, it’s not. It’s part of what it is and it’s about accepting reality, our feelings, and all of it. And thank you for saying if I hadn’t done enough, I’d probably not be worrying about it!August 26, 2014 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I share your sadness at the life change you are facing – you are in my thoughts and virtual hugs! I am certain you are doing great, Tucker will do great, and his progress and success will be deeply gratifying. :-D
    Elizabeth recently posted…HOW MY SON SAVED ME FROM THE FIRE SWAMPMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 4:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much Elizabeth. I very much appreciate the virtual hugs and knowing that I’m not alone!!August 26, 2014 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That’s what I keep believing – that we will all be fine. And even knowing that doesn’t always help me. I think it does on a surface level but the deep-rooted pain of my own kindergarten experience is still so alive down there, and only Scarlet’s inevitable flourishing will raise me above.

    Hey that’s good. I may use that in my own blog! (just kidding)
    Tamara recently posted…You Take The Good. You Take The Bad.My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 4:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - We HAVE to believe they will all be fine, right? I mean, what else is there? Still though, ohmygod. And you should totally use that in a blog post!August 26, 2014 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I’m sure there will be a riot of emotions as is normal for such a big transition, but I’m positive that he will make friends, his teacher will be empathetic and understanding, and he will have a grand party of a time every day!!
    Roshni recently posted…The final drastic step: remarriageMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much, Roshni. From your lips!! I hope his teacher is amazing and that he really has so much fun!August 26, 2014 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - Ahh, that end of summer feeling. I had it in that limbo time between being a student and having a child who was a student; it never seems to go away. (There’s also a Sunday night feeling that never goes away, either.) You know it’s going to be harder on you than on him to go to kindergarten. Just remember the words a wise friend told me: you don’t cry when they go to kindergarten (or graduate). They’re SUPPOSED to that and we should rejoice. Cry if they DON’T.
    Dyanne @ I Want Backsies recently posted…Goldilocks Moments, Preschool and PuppiesMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 8:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dyanne, I know that Sunday night feeling!!! And yeah, it’s like the summertime one but for me, now, the summertime one is just almost overwhelming. I can’t believe that my one and only baby is five now, and no longer really a little little kid, ya know? And yeah, I *know* that’s what they’re supposed to be doing, and that we should rejoice. I’ll try to do that rather than just feeling nostalgic for baby-him!August 26, 2014 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Oh Kristi, so many of these questions gnaw at me too. I’m always wondering if I’ve done enough or been there enough and the time does go by so quickly. But it sounds like you and Tucker have had an amazing summer together and that you have been there for him so amazingly. It’s tough when they start school and you realize they belong to the world a bit more with each passing year. Deep breath! Hugs to you. :) August 25, 2014 – 8:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I remember that terrified pre-kindergarten feeling too…I was sooo scared for him and what lay ahead. But, you are so right when you say he will be just fine, because he will! Yes, there will be bumps in the road, but you know what?? There are bumps in the road for every kid, whether special needs or not. That is something I have discovered with my 3 dudes….you and T have so many adventures ahead — I can’t wait to hear about them! And, you so make me want to try out for LTYM next year….maybe, just maybe…
    Emily recently posted…Oh Look, It’s Another Medical Bill!My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Emily, you’d be incredible at LTYM!!! Seriously!! It was such an amazing experience – truly awesome. Thanks for the reassurance that Tucker will be just fine – I do know all kids face bumps, and well, I know you get it too, so I don’t need to go into the “somebody will make fun of his words” thing with you (and please God, don’t let them make fun of his words!!!).
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 9:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Rookie Parenting - I’m sure you have done more than enough to prepare your little one for kindergarten. You have given him the most useful tool — your love. He knows that no matter what happens, he will always stay happy and strong because he knows he has you.August 25, 2014 – 9:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Krisit: I don’t remember feeling this way when my kids went to kindergarten, but I do remember this when my son went off to college. (More on that in a bit). I do remember worrying the school would lose my daughter. She wanted to ride the bus and I followed it to school and snuck in to make sure my daughter found her desk. She was rather annoyed with me. Maybe I told you this story earlier. I’m getting old. I forget a lot. I know Tucker (and you) will do fine. But I too, suffered from end of summer blues when my kids were in school. More because we’d been having so much fun and now we were going to be on a schedule. The school’s schedule. Some days I resented that schedule. Some days I loved it. Now on to my son leaving for college. I had such mixed feelings–the ones you expressed in this post. One part of me was giddy for the new experiences he would now have on his own. One part of me cried for the little boy who was leaving home, leaving me to be an empty nester. It was hard. It is hard. But you both will get through this, survive, and create so many more memories during his incredible school years. I’m sure there will be a field trip soon. I’m sure you’ll volunteer and wa-lah, a new memory.
    Out One Ear – Linda Atwell recently posted…Advocate or Obstacle: A Mother Questions Her Role In Raising Daughter With Special NeedsMy ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 10:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda,
      I love that you followed Lindsey’s bus and snuck in to make sure she found her desk!!! I have not heard that story before and love it! I think that the having fun during summer giving way to a schedule has something to do with it all as well. And I am SO volunteering for every single field trip!!! Thanks so much for understanding and for the reassurance, you. I really appreciate it, so much. AND OMG COLLEGE!!! Gulp.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 9:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I am certain you will be fine, but I know it is hard – so hard! I am thankful that your beautiful words have made it to so many through HuffPost & your LTYM video (and I’m only a little jealous because Huff Post hasn’t even bothered to respond to any of the three pieces I’ve sent them!).
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Ten Pics On My Phone {#TuesdayTen}My ProfileAugust 25, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Hey there: I remember that first day of K magical time, even as my kids are starting school in older grades. It was a bittersweet time as Da Boyz outgrew baby-hood. But I found that we had a lot of new types of adventures, less diaper-driven and more watching them evolve more into their own personalities. I know that Tucker has plenty of personality; you really will enjoy watching him grow into a less toddling, more capable wonderful kid. Best of luck — your family is going to have an awesome year!August 26, 2014 – 1:09 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Your gratitude is inspiring, Kristi, as is your fear… The good thing about beginnings and endings is that they keep right on coming. It sounds like you and Tucker have had a wonderfully special summer together – I’m so glad for you both. Wishing you and Tucker luck and love for this very special, scary, great chapter in both your lives. He is amazing, and his mom is amazing. August 26, 2014 – 1:29 amReplyCancel

  • Tarana - Big moment, Kristi! I hope kindergarten goes well for your little guy. I completely relate to your fears even though I still have another year to go.August 26, 2014 – 3:52 amReplyCancel

  • Erin Gaynor Putman - Your best is enough dear. It’s just right for awesome beautiful Tucker.August 26, 2014 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - I finally saw your LTYM speech!!! WOW. I am still in tears…

    You are so amazing Kristi. I am so excited for all your success as a writer, and a leader in embracing motherhood as YOU know it to be. Countless lives and hearts are lifted and blessed by you.

    I love this post. Because as always it speaks the raw and genuine truth of every mother out there.

    You did enough. You are enough. And your sweet boy will always and forever be blessed by his mama.

    Congrats on the HuffPo gig as well!!! I clicked over and I am a FAN!!

    Always a fan. :) August 26, 2014 – 2:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh! You just now saw it? Well thank you huge, for watching it!!! And thank you for being a fan on HuffPo!! I’m totally not amazing – you are amazing – but I also believe that together, all of us, making words and putting them out there, is amazing so there’s that… You give me so much hope and encouragement, even when I feel sad and wonder why why why I do this. I thank you for that, and for being such a wonderful friend.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 11:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie - Your Tucker is going to be fine next week. You will be fine as well. The kids do grow up too fast, I liked 3-5 the most and was quite sad when my daughter started kindergarten. Just think, you can always volunteer and think of how much fun that will be!

    Always love reading your posts, you have a lot of love in you and it spills over into your posts.August 26, 2014 – 3:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Dutch Wonderland – less than ninety minutes from our house! Again, you dance so close to us and I had no idea. One of these days, we are going to have to figure out how to run into one another on purpose.
    Kindergarten…don’t be sad if I tell you that it’s a lot like you said. The end of the babyhood, a distinct milestone and change in the dynamic – all of it. Kidzilla went there my baby and came out my big girl. Sigh. But it’s good. All of it is good. Yes, they grow up too too fast, but if we spent too much time thinking about that, we’ll miss the next thing. Just grab on, my friend, and hold on tight because it is a great and crazy and scary ride ahead!!!August 26, 2014 – 5:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Please we MUST find a way to meet on purpose on accident on purpose!!! We did the Dutch Wonderland a little last minute (like the night before decided and drove up and back the same day) and now (DUH) I remember how close you are!!
      I’ll try to not be sad that it is, indeed, like I said and that Kidzilla went in a little kid and emerged a big kid but OMG I’m so not ready! I mean, I’m ready I guess but OMG!!! Hanging on tight. Thanks for the advice <3
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - I imagine I am going to be you when the day comes for me. The possibilities are so fun and so damn scary at the same time. Though I will say it’s incredibly wonderful that you can sooth yourself with some taptaptap (and wine) because that’s what will keep you sane. That and knowing your baby is always your baby, no matter what. <3August 26, 2014 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Rebecca, yeah, sweets. It’s not not easy and well. The taptaptap only means that I am lucky enough to have lovely mamas like you come here and tell me that I’m not crazy for bawling at my son entering kindergarten!!! Here’s to staying sane and thank you so much for your sweet sweet comment!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Terrified of Kindergarten, and Thankful For This SummerMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - Yes, yes, yes. You captured this so perfectly. I would write more, but I’m sniffling. Gorgeous photos. I can’t wait to hear how kindergarten- goes Tucker’s got this, and so do you. But still. Sad. Hard. August 27, 2014 – 12:20 amReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - That baby picture of Tucker with that quote is priceless! I have several blog friends that are in this same place and I am overwhelmed reading about how all of you must be feeling at this point in your children’s lives. It’s so wonderful, yet you all are so right…it’s the end to a certain part of their lives and a new beginning. How wonderful that you were recognized by the Huffington post! Congrats on that. I knew you had the ability to affect people in that way because you definitely affected me in that way for sure. I was sad the past few days because a new place in our lives has had me lose yet another friend….another end but new beginning right? I’m moving on and not looking back. Me and hubby know we are doing the right thing. Tucker is going to be such a great student. I’m looking forward to hearing how things go. I know it’s not for 2 more weeks but still! :)
    Brittnei recently posted…The Love Hate Relationship With Back To SchoolMy ProfileAugust 27, 2014 – 1:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Brittnei!!
      The whole kindergarten thing is NUTS. It’s like, all of a sudden, we have to realize that our little babies aren’t babies. I’m so sorry to hear that a new place in your life has lost you a friend. No matter the ability to realize that it does make for a new beginning, any relationship ending that way is hard. Breaking up with a friend has to be one of the hardest things ever (and if you’re not familiar with Stephanie and Jessica’s HerStories Project, it’s all about that).
      Only you and your husband know what is right for your family and shame on those who judge, because judging others is not our place. Hang in there and hugs to you, sweet friend.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen Lauren Schneider Kehl - You are so amazing and so so brave. I can’t imagine sending Isaiah off and he’s 9. I can openly admit that part of my decision to homeschook is selfish, he is still with me. I can also admit that there are days I want to drive right to that school and drop him off and come home to peace and quiet. But you, you have done so so so much to further people’s understanding of children who are not typical, and you should be so proud of yourself, and of this wonderful boy that Tucker has become! xoxo August 28, 2014 – 9:57 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Kristi,
    you will be okay, dear. Seriously.
    you both need this & Kindergarten is FUuuuuuN))
    —-now you can focus a bit on your passions, writing, & changing the world.
    xx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…A Letter To Her MurdererMy ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 1:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy @ icansaymama - I get this so very well Kristi, do you remember how much I was terrified of school? He will be fine, I am so sure about that, and you certainly have done enough and more, my friend!

    Sunny will have to start all over again in school, too, with everything new except for his teacher and I am terrified about that again, too. But I trust he will adjust to it again as he did last year and I hope he will love school again like he used to do.
    Joy @ icansaymama recently posted…Houston, we have a sheep!My ProfileAugust 30, 2014 – 3:13 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Joy, I definitely remember how worried you were about Sunny’s school transition and also remember that he did very well with it! Thank you for the reminder, though. While I know in my head and heart that Tucker will likely thrive in kindergarten, well, of course I’m worried. Here’s to both of our amazing little boys doing so very well and loving their teachers and classmates and finding joy and love in school! (growing up is hard though!)
      xo
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 1:42 pmReplyCancel

  • don - Awe, you sappy dame you.

    I feel much the same about Cool as he’s begun kindergarten. I feel better knowing that we’re in a really good school district, but he is smaller than a lot of the other kids and maybe slightly less athletic, etc. and he’s starting to ask about that sort of stuff. All I can do is point out how awesome he is in other aspects and try to convince him that he actually is pretty good at sports, but he doesn’t buy it. Sigh….

    We’ve never had any concerns with Ace, and I don’t foresee worrying about Gman either, but Cool is a special bird, just like the Tman. They’ll both be fine though and one day we’ll laugh and wonder why we every worried about them in the first place. Kudos on the Huffpo thing. It should have happened much sooner.
    don recently posted…A shooting a mother and her baby…My ProfileAugust 31, 2014 – 12:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah yeah, I know I know. Aw, poor Cool. He’ll find his place. I know he will. Plus, who wants to homeschool? So yeah, he’ll find his place! Here’s to us laughing and wondering why we were so damned worried about them! Can we drink BLL to celebrate?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 1:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Tricia - Oh yes, you will both definitely be just fine. Mine starts Kindergarten in a couple weeks too and although her routine will be the same as her previous two years at this school, Kindergarten really is this big Milestone that makes everything feel so different. Congrats on Huff Po and all the LTYM sharing!
    Tricia recently posted…Lovely Little Things, 29My ProfileAugust 31, 2014 – 2:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really really is such a huge milestone, isn’t it? Scary and wonderful but so scary. You still have a few more weeks? Is it horrible that I’m a little jealous of that? Thanks so much, Tricia!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 1:51 pmReplyCancel

When I was a little kid, I believed in a lot of things. I believed in magic, wonder, in the power of wishes and kisses, and that I – and all of us – have the power to change the world. I still believe. Back then, though, I thought Bad People only came in windowless […]

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  • Dana - How in the hell do you pull off this genius in a matter of hours? I had major writers block tonight so I have no post, although razor blades and creepy dolls did figure into my trashed draft. Happy, happy birthday, Kristi – may your year be full of wonder. And congrats on your HuffPo piece!
    Dana recently posted…What’s on your phone? {#TuesdayTen Linkup}My ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 10:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dana, to be fair, I didn’t finish it. The doggie drawings were going to have 2013 and Tucker not noticing Chief missing and then 2014, where he asks when his dog Chief is coming back from being ill and me not knowing what to say. So um, yeah, here’s to posting incomplete posts. Will I fix it? Who knows. Probably not though. You know… no pressure of course, but the linkie code is open until Sunday and I’d LOVE your thoughts on razor blades and creepy dolls!! And thank you so much!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 12:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks - I love it. We have got to make plaid pants cool again. I think we can do it, except I don’t know how to make pants.

    My favorite part: I believe I can change the world.
    Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks recently posted…The Boogeyman IS Real! Sort of.My ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 10:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Okay. First, I believe in Tucker:)!

    I did (and still do:)) believe in Shaun Cassidy…The do run, run, the do run run run. Yeah, when my heart stood still…

    And I STILL believe in letter writing!

    I love the approach you took with this. Oh the nostalgia makes me smile. I love the 70s – and the 80s!

    I was never sold on the pet rock, though.
    Allie recently posted…Dreams of Being Mary RichardsMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - There must have been something about white vans in the news, because I had that same fear. I still do. And I drive a white van! Luckily it has windows. Whew.
    I believe in you and Tucker too!
    Tamara recently posted…Becoming Neurotic for Ask Away Friday.My ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 10:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I know, I was thinking the same as Dana. It would take me days, Kristi. You’ve managed to resurrect the magic and beauty and beyond wordness of childhood and then you perfectly tied it in with Tucker and I was nodding in agreement all along and it’s just amazing how seamlessly you move from talking about avocado green fridges and stretching phone cords to special needs acceptance and beauty and make it sound like two parts of one thought. Phew. Happy birthday. You are amazing.August 21, 2014 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - wow…you pretty much captured all the things I believed when I was a kid too. Tucker rocks…standing around half naked watching a fish tank is just a boy thing. If Dino could, he’d do pretty much everything naked.
    karen recently posted…Boy, Was I WrongMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Ke - Yep Shaun Cassidy – the Joe Hardy one if there need be any clarification. I miss my carefree youth – 6th through 8th grade were THE BEST. I always wished my doll would blink or something to let me know she was really alive. I wanted them to be but certainly not while I was asleep.
    Ke recently posted…I Believed in BigfootMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 12:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Heeehee to not being alive while you were asleep but hoping she’d blink, Kenya! And for real – 6th to 8th grade were the best for you? I had a really hard time in 7th grade (and again, in 9th) and have always blamed in on being “that age” as a girl but wow, glad to hear that those years were awesome for you – so maybe just me! I’m not sure what the icky years are for boys…or if they have them… or even if other girls had them… anyway, rambling. :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - Loved the various angles you touched in one darn sentence, Kristi.

    On a serious note…I also believe that our today can be much better than our tomorrow provided we stay focused on our energy!

    Happy to link up :) August 22, 2014 – 2:22 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - And of course mine is the link with no picture. Lord. Imagine a lovely piece of chocolate cake. Perfect for your birthday. Happy Birthday and Happy HuffPost!
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Letting Kids Eat WhateverMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 2:28 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - First and foremost, Happy Birthday Kristi! Sorry, we are a few hours late on it. Yesterday was technology Heck here. Everything crashed. Anyhoo, I actually bought and played Shaun Cassidy’s “Da Doo Run Run” on a 45 over and over and over. Yep, a little dude back in those days. All dogs go to heaven is an absolute and where they go is where I want to go when my number is called. At 5 years old my bio mom told me that watermelon seeds were where babies came from. I swore off watermelon for nearly 15 years. I still think about that every time I eat it LOL! :) You KNOW how deeply and in the most special way that Phoenix and I believe in Tucker…and you…ALWAYS!! I have two friends, one with an autistic brother…another with an autistic son. Because of YOU specifically coming into my life it has allowed a whole deeper dialogue of understanding and candid conversation with the two of them that I can speak of with far more education. Because of. YOU! Thank you for that :) Yesterday is but a memory, tomorrow is only a dream. Therefore today is all we have. You and Tucker rock every one Today there is! Sooooo proud of both of you! Love ya guys, Mike and Phoenix :)
    Mike recently posted…The Sasquatch Tavern And Grill in Verdi, NevadaMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 3:58 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You were early!!!!! (which you also now know :))
      I want to go to the place where the dogs go, too. As long as Tucker will go there, too… You didn’t eat watermelon for 15 years worried you’d have a kid??? OMG> that’s awesomely funny and incredibly sad, rolled into one…
      I am so humbled and honored and thankful that because of Tucker and me, that you’ve gained new understanding – and more meaningful conversations (it’s OK to ask!!!) – for your friends’ son and brother. That’s amazing. You’re amazing, and a force of good here on the internets that is largely unequaled. Your spirit and goodness and love is felt by all that you interact with here in this cyberspace place (and I know in real life too).
      We love you guys too! Are you gonna do the ice bucket thing? Tucker wants to do it – ever since I did it, it’s been rainy and chilly when we might have (and I will NOT put ice in his – maybe like one cube) and he still really wants to do it!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Um…you posted Tucker’s arse on the internet?! You’re hilarious, and it makes me want to goose it – not in a creepy way, but in the funny pinchy way I do with Niece and Neff when I chase them and we all end up on a tickle-fight heap on the ground. I’ll stop now before I come across as a crazy person.

    So you posted about things under the bed too. Of COURSE you did.

    And, by the way, dogs go to heaven.

    This is awesome and I WANNA KNOW YOUR NEXT IDEA TO CHANGE THE WORLD :D August 22, 2014 – 6:10 amReplyCancel

  • christine - You took the heads off your dolls at night? Wow.
    I don’t know about witches, but something awful lived under my bed. No body part could hang over the edge or it would be chopped off.

    Congrats on the HuffPost thing!

    Can’t wait to see what your new idea is.

    Happy birthday!
    christine recently posted…Just a Little Something to Let You Know I’m Still a BloggerMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 7:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Um, yeah, I took their heads off at night so they couldn’t find their bodies and attack me. That probably says a lot about me? Or, um, nothing? Maybe that my mom just let me watch some horrible show? I dunno… can we still be friends?
      Here’s to the awfulness under our beds, and it no longer being there, because I’d have lost all limbs by now. Maybe even my head, during college years.
      And thank you!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 10:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I had witches under my bed too Kristi! And believed in dolls coming alive, though I never had any Barbies. I wanted a “Sindy” which might have been a British version, but my mum didn’t like them. Can’t think why… :)
    You look so cute on your bike, and Pooh raincoats are a fashion statement that has stood the test of time! (Not quite so sure about the plaid trousers.)
    And yes, you can change the world – you’re right, all of us can!
    Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 9:28 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne! Yikes to the witches under your bed!!! Glad your mum didn’t like Sindy because Barbies were weird and gross. I once read that if they were proportionate (and I won’t get the numbers right), they’d have measurements like 38 breast, 21 waist, and like 32 hips. Um okay.
      Here’s to Pooh Raincoats and ALL OF US TOGETHER changing the world!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I was more a Parker Stevenson fan myself. ;-) Happy happy happy birthday! I hope tomorrow is an amazing day for you!
    Elizabeth recently posted…LIFE SKILLS, SAFETY AND MORE COOL SENSORY STUFF – ON PINTEREST THIS WEEKMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - I’ve been mooned! AAAAAuuuuuuuuuugh!

    He’s still a cutie.
    Twindaddy recently posted…People SayMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 10:52 amReplyCancel

  • Catherine @ Making Meal Time - This post makes me want to go run out and do something good for the world. It’s true, we can all change the world!August 22, 2014 – 12:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - How did I miss this last night and will admit not co-hosting, I totally forgot that it was even the week for FTSF. I am not kidding, I actually watched Weekend at Bernie’s when I would have been up commenting! Crazy as it seems, but as a kid I believed in much of what you did and you reminded me totally of those big white vans (I had almost forgotten), but still love what you now believe in now and hoping like you that we can indeed make a difference.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Step into Summer & July GLOSSYBOXMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 1:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m actually a little in Shock and Awe, that you even forgot it was FTSF night. I mean, YOU!!! YOU STARTED IT. I’m also super amazing impressed, that you were just IRLing and forgot. That’s why. That’s what it’s about right? Also please tell me you’ll still cohost sometimes???
      I love Weekend at Bernie’s. I hated it the first time I saw it but loved it by number 3 and now, I’m probably on like 10, but haven’t seen it in 15 years. Makes me want to watch, again.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - At first this post was cracking me up and taking me down memory lane- especially with the bigger the stereo comment. (AHHAH! been there!) but then you took me to the next level and I am so happy and my spirit full because I believe in so much goodness and acceptance too! Beautiful things and so much love, empathy, compassion and change can be found everywhere! This was an uplifting and feel good post. MUAH!
    Rebecca recently posted…Teaching Kids How to Bend Spoons With Their MindMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 4:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Rebecca, I sorta miss the big stereos because well hello! but not the room they took in the house. I think 1/2 of my living room as a kid was taken up by the only stereo in the house!!! And yeah, here’s to acceptance and goodness. It’s really what matters the very most to me, now… Thank you big for the MUAH! I so appreciate it, and your comment. Huge.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - So many wonderful things to read in this post! At a time and in a world that feels so lacking in good and hope, this was so nourishing, so lovely. Thank you, happy happy HAPPY birthday and congrats on your fabulous HuffPo piece. Sending love, magic and wonder to you xoAugust 22, 2014 – 4:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - Happy Birthday again, and Happy HuffPost debut! I can’t wait to hear what your big social media idea is. Whatever it is, it will kick ass and I can’t wait to jump in. And how freaking adorable were you in your plaid pants? August 22, 2014 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Thanks for taking me down memory lane–I remember ALL of these things! I too, believe in the magic of youth! Congrats on your Huff Po piece! :)
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Fly On The Wall In WackovilleMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - There was actually a movie that came out when I was little called All Dogs Go To Heaven. I sure thought they did! Hahaha with the non-cordless phone. I remember phones like that! You were such a cute little girl when you were growing up. Awwww! I love that you said that special needs and autism are not things that need to be pitied. I’ll be honest and say that I most definitely learned that from you. I love how blogging and reading about other people’s lives and situations can open you up to a whole new world right where you are in your own little space. I like so much of what you believe now, too. :)
    Brittnei recently posted…I Really Believed, But I’m Thankful I Don’t….My ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 9:52 pmReplyCancel

    • jaklumen - I got well acquainted with many Don Bluth movies like “All Dogs Go To Heaven” because… he’s one of my dad’s cousins. Yes, for real, I checked.
      jaklumen recently posted…Suzie has Questions and I have AnswersMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Brittnei, I’m so happy that my words about special needs and autism made your world bigger…and yeah, here’s to our spaces being more expanded, always. I think that’s truly what this life is about – understanding what’s here, now, and understanding all of it is part of something so very much more. I like so much of what YOU believe, now, too. Here’s to finding out and celebrating here and always. Also I love that you remember the phone cords!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 11:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - As always, beautifully written with humor and honesty…and I can’t wait to hear about your social media idea. You make me believe too.:)
    Emily recently posted…Oh Look, It’s Another Medical Bill!My ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily, here’s to believing. I sometimes question what it is, exactly, that I believe in – is it in spreading awareness for special needs? Yes, but do I really understand special needs? Um. Do I wanna change the world? Yes! How? I get these ideas and then realize they are maybe dumb. But who would’ve thought the ice bucket thing would have caught on? Not me!! And thank you!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 24, 2014 – 12:34 amReplyCancel

  • Lana - Every time I come to your blog you amaze me. I remember all that stuff from the 70′s…ahh, good times. Your little boy will not only be okay, he will be amazing – partly because he has you for a mama. I can’t wait to hear about your idea! Have a great weekend.
    Lana recently posted…Cupcakes – The Perfect DessertMy ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Great post, and way to tie the 70′s with today’s world! I have to admit that I almost convinced myself that I was too tired and ill this evening to post — but I just couldn’t face not connecting with FTSF this weekend! Thanks again for keeping this awesome group going!

    Looking forward to seeing your answer to the ice bucket challenge!

    (oh yes, nice shot of Tucker — he’s gonna SO love this blog when he is 15! ;) )August 23, 2014 – 2:51 amReplyCancel

  • Anna - I think button phones are ancient. Part of me wants to censor the photo.August 23, 2014 – 10:15 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Shaun Cassidy! Oh yeah, baby! I am with you all the way…we basically lived the same childhood, right down to windowless white vans (which I will still not park next to), backwards records, and razorblades in the Halloween apples. Was there a banana seat on that bike? I think there must have been.

    Tucker is such a character and yes, adored just the way he is. As all children should be.

    I can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve….let’s get on with changing the world!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Change with One Constant – Life As I Know ItMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 2:20 pmReplyCancel

  • April - I love that ALS has raised over $50 million at this point, but I really wish I could come up with some way to raise money for children with congenital heart defects, but then I wonder if it’s too passe? I love how you laid out how your beliefs changed throughout the years. I couldn’t think of anything to write this time around! Catch you next time!
    April recently posted…Car Cleaning Tips: Cleaning Your Car With A Pressure WasherMy ProfileAugust 23, 2014 – 3:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - April, I wish there was a way to raise money for everything that needs it. Homelessness, healthy meals, every disease, sigh. I don’t think trying to raise money with children with congenital heart defects is passe at all – please let me know what you decide to do because I’d love to support you!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Used to Believe in Pet Rocks, and that Plaid Pants were the BestMy ProfileAugust 24, 2014 – 12:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Heather Philp - When I was a kind I used to really believe that Kermit could write with his finger! HxAugust 23, 2014 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Astrid - I too believed that dolls came to life when I wasn’t watching, but I likedt his idea actually.August 28, 2014 – 10:58 amReplyCancel

I’m all for raising awareness, empathy, and run a series on acceptance for everybody. Also, it’s pretty much impossible for me to say no to a dare or challenge. So, tonight, I ignored my husband’s commentary about “waiting to do this over the weekend” (because why? whatever), the fact that it was dinner time, and well, […]

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  • Emily - HAHA! I love all of it – the video of Tucker telling you he wants ice dumped on his head next is AWESOME! I can totally see how you wanted to capture his laugh on film because it’s adorable! I also love your subtle “gesture” to Don…I got a blatant “I Hate you Emily Cappo” for nominating my college roommate, who said she wasn’t going to do it and would rather donate the $100, but I finally guilted her into it. Oh and like you, I nominated my brother too. Anyway, great job all around! (and Kate, looking forward to those tweets!!).
    Emily recently posted…Oh Look, It’s Another Medical Bill!My ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 9:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA glad you caught the subtle gesture to Don – it’s funny, because although I really like this, I didn’t think AT ALL about what to say when it was filming. I’d seen yours, of course, and poor Kate – got thrown in there last minute!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Gina Fenton - FABULOUS!!! Now I also have a face and voice to go with Tucker. Please give that sweet boy a giant hug for me. He’s squeezable cute.

    Best-
    Gina
    Gina Fenton recently posted…People are like Snowflakes- No Two are Exactly The Same: Don’t be JudgyMy ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - Hahaha, I love it! So awesome!
    Echo recently posted…ClearlyFiltered Water PitcherMy ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - :) It ain’t bells tolling, whisky in jars, or even really unforgiven, but thanks, love.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

      • Echo - Yeah, but you handled it with a Commando Attitude and it didn’t leave you Broken, Beat & Scarred!
        Echo recently posted…ClearlyFiltered Water PitcherMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I looked to the sky just before the ice, it’s the last thing I did!! There were men on the video, doing a bad job and omg, sorry!! Ok wait. I try again. Time marches on. Um. what I’ve felt
          what I’ve known
          never shined through in what I’ve shown
          because I suck at that!! (big heavy drum OMG LARS and double base stuff here)
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 12:32 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Ha, that’s awesome as is Tucker’s laugh! But, you got a sponge bath compared to what I’ve seen on the Net! (wait, what? Did I just get a “Don Finger” from you too? hee hee) Ok, ok, ok (Joe Pesci)…I will sincerely do my best to find someone to hold the phone this weekend to take video. Then both Phoenix and I will do this challenge, Kristi :)
    Mike recently posted…Woody’s Grille And Spirits In Sparks, Nevada For Top Notch Food!My ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Never mind the ice bucket thing – which is awesome, btw, and balls-out, as they say. Forget that because Tucker is GORGEOUS! That boy is too cute.August 19, 2014 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Real Life Parenting - You and Tucker make me smile. Big smiles. :D

    XOXO
    Real Life Parenting recently posted…How is the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Hurting YOU?? (hint: it’s not, so stop complaining)My ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 11:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - Ack! He’s so cute! He was crackin’ me up!August 19, 2014 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I guess then my ice cup challenge was a little lame compared to yours. But I did my version. Just sayin’. Congrats to you on a job well done.
    Out One Ear – Linda Atwell recently posted…Advocate or Obstacle: A Mother Questions Her Role In Raising Daughter With Special NeedsMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 12:53 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - AWESOME!

    I donated, but I read no such rules on amount. And I’m NO WAY doing the ice thing. It’s cold here. But I am writing a response, to be published in the morning…August 20, 2014 – 1:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - It really is fun to see someone I know do it. I enjoyed both videos. I wish I could have seen the original laugh too. Hope last night went well since Tucker obviously didn’t want to wait another day to get splashed with water. Love his excitement. ;-)
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…10 Throwback Photos for Tuesday TenMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 8:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya, I know – I was SO bummed that Tucker laughing like a loon afterwards was cut off (and it figures – that’s like the ONE time that Robert listened to me). And believe it or not, he did wait! I’ll have to post his video on Facebook. :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 10:38 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Very cute! – but I think I’ll opt to write a check:). I loved Tucker’s giggles. It reminded me of Ben Affleck’s kids in his video. Hollywood baby!August 20, 2014 – 8:58 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - GREAT video! haaaaa.
    Fabulous awareness!
    I love that you have your son involved. Superb learning experience.
    We are doing this in Duluth, too, of course. All of the soccer coaches ( my hubby ) and others were drenched this week @ St. Scholastic.
    What a amazing way to raise money for the CAUSE. xx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Behind the Mask 0f DepressionMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 11:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t wait to see your videos, sistah!!! Seriously!!! And yeah, whatever works to raise money for a cause. I should maybe start something like this for special needs kids. Maybe less cold though???
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 12:11 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - haha! You’re the total asshole! I’ve made Des have crooked bangs too.. a lot.
    Also I wanted to tell you that Des called airplanes “ainee” which rhymed with 9E. Now he calls them Air-pupini. I love it! I love these kids.
    This video didn’t disappoint. He’s so adorable and I love his giggles a lot.

    Also. There is a point. Money is being raised. Everyone I know touched by ALS is all for it. My ex’s father passed away after a long battle. I was by his side for most of it. Totally a shit disease.

    I swore twice in this comment!
    Tamara recently posted…Taking It Easy With Old School Blogging.My ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 3:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG I was so the asshole. You’d think I’d have learned, after messing up my own bangs so many times (see how I didn’t swear there, but so totally wanted to?). And yeah. Money. I’m really sorry to hear about your ex’s father. Not a fun disease. If pouring ice only might matter, then it matters, right?
      WHOOT to you swearing here, love! :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 12:32 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Love the subtle finger flip, and the “it’s shower day.” Love Tucker’s giggles. If people don’t want to see their Facebook friends videos, don’t watch. It really is amazing how powerful social media can be – all that money raised. Wow.
    Dana recently posted…What’s on your phone? {#TuesdayTen Linkup}My ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 9:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well it truly was shower day, and that was (sadly?) a consideration. My husband really did try to talk me out of it, but well, there’s pretty much no talking me out of anything… and yeah social media rocks when it comes to sharing.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 12:33 amReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - I LOVE IT! Was there a 9er in there? :)
    Shay from Trashy Blog recently posted…Trashy Shorts: Fruit SnacksMy ProfileAugust 20, 2014 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Yay!!! Good job! Lol that tucker wants to do it too! And you’ll never learn with bangs- they always seem like a no brainer and sometimes they look decent…other times you KNOW you’re not a professional. It’s too tempting! I was nominated for the ice bucket challenge but then I started feing anxious about the drought we’re in (so cal) and I ponied up dough instead. But wait- it was supposed to be $100?? I didn’t know that rule!August 20, 2014 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He forgot about it tonight, which was good as I didn’t get home until like 8pm and didn’t want to do it to him then!!! I think we’ll do his in the next few days and definitely make it less cold, because OMG cold. I think the rules of how much vary, by the way. If you ponied up, you win. :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Ice Bucket Challenge to Benefit ALSMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 12:36 amReplyCancel

  • Lancelot - Hehehe, nice one.
    This challenge has been viral and trending.
    Since it’s for a good cause, it should go on for a while.
    :) August 21, 2014 – 4:34 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - A few weeks ago a video of a friend’s daughter do the ice-bucket challenge, but I had no idea that it was for charity. It’s too cold for this in the UK right now for sure. (Really cold, so I can totally see why Lizzi said no.) I’d also never heard of ALS, (though had heard of Lou Gehrig.) I have now looked it up and now understand the purpose of the ice bucket. So you’ve raised my awareness!
    Yvonne recently posted…Conversations With My FatherMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 4:42 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Tucker is so precious! Such a sweetie!
    Elizabeth recently posted…THE HONEYMOON IS OVERMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • don - Hahahaha! What did you do to that poor boy’s hair? Spend a few bucks and let a professional do it.

    Nice work on the challenge. Tman looks like he had a blast, which makes it all worthwhile!

    You have lovely, skinny little legs too. Lol.
    don recently posted…Meanwhile, just outside of ferguson…My ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 12:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Tricia - Totally agree with you – it totally matters. It matters so very much!
    Tricia recently posted…From the past: The Joy in ErrandsMy ProfileAugust 21, 2014 – 8:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth Sutherland - I think this is an awesome concept. It’s pretty amazing to see the entire world doing the #ALSIceBucketChallenge. I loved your post! I am confident that we WILL find a cure to beat this.August 21, 2014 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - I’ve been wondering how the donating part actually works. I’ve just been seeing everyone dump water all over themselves like someone just won a game. Hehe. Perfect cause for you to be apart of with your passion my dear!
    Brittnei recently posted…I Really Believed, But I’m Thankful I Don’t….My ProfileAugust 22, 2014 – 9:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Hey my friend! Great job on the bucket challenge. I did the ALS challenge as well and posted about it before I left on vacation. My issue was the FB craze. Because no one (at least my FB friends) was saying AND donate they were all saying OR donate. It was an either/or thing and more than a few of them I knew were not giving a dollar. Which ticked me off. Losing a few friends to the horrific disease it resonated with me. Another friend kindly gave me her words, her brother-in-law is currently being killed by ALS. So yes, it is about awareness definitely. But also about raising awareness to what ALS is: not being able to dump ice water on your head because you cannot lift your arm to take a sip of water.
    Kerri recently posted…My Challenge: LisaMy ProfileAugust 26, 2014 – 8:42 amReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land was authored by the fabulous and wonderful Emily, of Oh Boy Mom.  I’ve recently mentioned her, but really, I cannot say enough amazing things about one of my first ever blog friends. She’s warm, funny, brilliant, gifted, and real. She writes about maintaing humor through motherhood, raising three boys, and, most recently, about her 9-year old […]

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - Beautiful Emily! You gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes at Ava is hope. She has a beautiful spirit. Kids ARE resilient!
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…I’ll be a good sport, but football isn’t my department…My ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 9:58 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Like Kenya, i am now fighting back tears and thank you for sharing Ava’s story here with us today. Kids are definitely resilient and have seen this with my own kids when they hurt themselves (maybe not on the same level), but still does amaze me so.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Bacon, Coach Daddy, Adventurous Pitch HitMy ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 10:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Janine, thank you so much and you know, they are resilient and really, the same level doesn’t matter (I mean it does, but everybody’s here is still here and our own realities are our own and yes, resilience is resilience, if that makes sense!!!). It amazes me, too!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: For Ava, in TreatmentMy ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 9:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - The human spirit amazes me, and Ava’s spirit certainly is exceptional. I hope it continues to shine – thank you for sharing your story here, Emily.
    Dana recently posted…Holey Red Tights, Batman!My ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 11:37 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Ok, now that I’ve wiped the tears out of my eyes temporarily I will hopefully be able to type a coherent response. This was incredibly powerful, Emily. We all have our own interpretation of life events and I try to see as many of mine from a spiritual perspective. I’m not a religious person whatsoever. The second I read the part about Ava bouncing down the hall to meet you on your first day it hit me in my gut. She’s an angel and an old soul. Meaning on a celestial plane. I truly believe in that and her energy and will to overcome and adapt is on one level. Her ability to express outwardly kindness, warmth and a sense of comfort is beyond reproach. We bless her so very much with right and perfect health in her journey. And in the same step we send as many heartfelt blessings to your son. Despite your difficult moments please always send him positive energy and believe in nothing more of his ability to heal and overcome this horrible deck of cards he was dealt far too early in his precious life. If he’s ever having a really rough day have him look up my Golden Retriever, Phoenix. He’s a cancer survivor. Love and blessings to you and your family. Thank you for sharing Emily and her story with us, Kristi :)
    Mike recently posted…Top 10 Robin Williams Movies, It’s Not Your FaultMy ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 12:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Emily - Thank you Mike for such a thoughtful and inspiring reply – it means a lot that you wanted to take the time to write your thoughts about Ava and kids like her and my son. I’m not a religious person either and I’ve struggled with how to deal with these challenges without having a place of worship and religious community to rely upon. It truly helps to know that people genuinely care and want to support us. I’m going to keep re-reading your words because I find them to be uplifting so thank you!! And Kristi, thank you so much again for sharing my post on your Our Land space…I am realizing that not only was I describing empathy for another child enduring an awful challenge, but I am receiving wonderful empathetic replies to my story too.:)
      Emily recently posted…Oh Look, It’s Another Medical Bill!My ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 4:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Both to Mike and Phoenix and Emily –
      (for the history part, Emily, Mike’s baby, who happens to be a Golden Retriever) battled a cancer that the doctors told him that he could not win, and yet, he did. He’s cancer-free. Am only mentioning that because I’m not sure whether the two of you are familiar with one another or not – if not, you probably would like to be because you’re both amazing and lovely and awesome).
      Mike, I agree that Ava is either an old soul or one just gifted with living in the now. I hope so much that it’s not her disease that has made her be the one to live in the now. My takeaway is that we never know anybody’s stories, that all of ours are amazing, and important, and REAL and right here, now. And that they’re all meaningful and important. Also well I love you guys. For real.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: For Ava, in TreatmentMy ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Wiping tears away too. And I do read Emily’s blog regularly! She’s a fantastic writer.
    Tamara recently posted…You’re Not Screwed.My ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 4:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - Seeing such individuals who fight bravely makes me such a weakling. I hope Ava is doing fine, and what a fine story!

    Emily is a fine individual and I am in awe of her after hearing her recent fight with her younger one!
    Thank you Kristi for hosting her :) August 13, 2014 – 6:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Don - Whew, I thought there was going to be a sad ending and I was going to bawl! I can picture Ava and the type of kid she is and I love her already. Great read. Hope your boy is doing well.August 13, 2014 – 7:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - What an angel Ava was to you and, I’m sure, many others! The spirit of children is amazing and often much more resilient than adults.
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Inside My Closet {#TuesdayTen Linkup}My ProfileAugust 13, 2014 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - We can all learn great life lessons from Ava.
    She is an angel on earth & she shall be one in heaven, as well.
    My Inner Chick recently posted…16 Things I Effing Love, Love, LoveMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 1:53 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - A lovely story in the mist of sadness. Ava is inspirational. And so are you.
    Out One Ear – Linda Atwell recently posted…Advocate or Obstacle: A Mother Questions Her Role In Raising Daughter With Special NeedsMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 2:46 amReplyCancel

  • K - So beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
    K recently posted…Feeling CrushedMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - What a beautiful story. I hope all ended well and happily.
    Elizabeth recently posted…FIVE THINGS – IN HIS OWN WORDSMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 2:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - It’s just amazing how resilient kids are! My heart goes out to the family! How sweet those two girls are!
    Thanks so much for relating this story here, Emily!August 14, 2014 – 7:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - It’s just amazing how resilient kids are! My heart goes out to the family! How sweet those two girls are!
    Thanks so much for relating this story here, Emily!August 14, 2014 – 7:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Gosh, this post is incredibly humbling and puts my whines in perspective. That Ava really is something but I can’t help but note that you are so strong and selfless yourself! I can’t wait to read more from you, thanks for changing my dayAugust 14, 2014 – 8:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Rebecca, I think this post puts all of our whines in perspective, but also reminds us that all of our whines are OURS and important. When we struggle, and grieve, and feel sad, it’s okay to do so – I don’t think the “but it could be worse” is helpful, until, well, it is helpful because it always can be, if that makes sense. Because all of our challenges are ours and here, in our homes. And that’s okay. But it’s also important to remember that we don’t know what the neighbors’ struggles are, if that makes sense!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: For Ava, in TreatmentMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Emily - Thanks Rebecca and I’m flattered in an odd way that my post had such a day-changing effect on you…I agree with Kristi’s comments and it sort of reminds me of that meme that is always floating around Facebook, which reads something like (I can’t recall the exact words): “Always smile at people because you never know what challenge they are facing.” It’s true!
      Emily recently posted…Oh Look, It’s Another Medical Bill!My ProfileAugust 15, 2014 – 7:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Such a beautiful story about a true warrior. I know we all have our own struggles and our own issues and they are real to each of us. But Ava’s story can certainly put things in perspective. It sounds to me like Ava is doing what we should all do, ill or not, and that’s live the life we are given to its fullest. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting about this young girl any time soon. Thank you so much for sharing this.
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Looking Good: The New Face of CancerMy ProfileAugust 15, 2014 – 7:56 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - What an amazing little girl. As a parent, I cannot evenbegin to fathom what the family was feeling. And all the while Ava had a smile on her face through adversity. Incredible.
    marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…The Face Of DepressionMy ProfileAugust 15, 2014 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Oh, what a lot you and your son have been through Emily. I think you are right that you will always remember Ava. People like her, who come into our lives at such difficult times remain somehow. Sorry this is so pathetic – I can’t find the words to say what I mean!
    I’ll just say I wish you and your son well, and that Ava also thrives.August 16, 2014 – 11:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne, I think I know exactly what you mean and it’s not pathetic at all. I think that Ava will remain for all of us who had the gift of reading about her amazing, bright self.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: For Ava, in TreatmentMy ProfileAugust 19, 2014 – 1:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Oh my heart. What a beautiful and inspiring story about a girl with HOPE. I am praying for a miracle… Thank you Emily Mitty Cappo- for sharing such a profound and powerful experience. There are “Ava”s everywhere…August 17, 2014 – 1:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Oh my! Ava is so amazingly precious. It is also so hard for me to read stories like this. They tend to feel so personal like I know the people and they are in my life. She is definitely an example of hope for us all. :)
    Brittnei recently posted…Second Trimester Entry Self-care CheckupMy ProfileAugust 18, 2014 – 2:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - Oh, Emily, I can’t believe I didn’t catch this post last week. I just don’t know what to say, except that after I finish crying, this story will haunt me for a long time. Thanks for sharing this with Our Land, and for just being who you are. August 19, 2014 – 2:39 pmReplyCancel

I cannot brag about ever having climbed Mount Everest, or finishing a refreshing swim across the English Channel. I don’t have a single triathlon medal, and am not a big runner. When it comes to the idea of running, I’m all for it. I imagine the exhilaration, the sweat, and the satisfaction that I’ll feel […]

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  • Don - Bed rest? What a wienie!!!

    The best part was the boobs in your face because, boobs. Lol.August 7, 2014 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh momma – I can’t believe you left me hanging. What happened in the damn closet? I am a runner, kind of. I think of some of the same stuff when I run and I have a bum knee and now a bum hip…but something keeps me plugging along.

    Sorry I didn’t participate. The only thing I could come up with was have the kids, but nothing original to add. SO I posted about their first day of school instead (for another link-up. so I guess I cheated on FTSF). But I’m going to but my thinking cap on for a sentence to submit!
    Allie recently posted…The First Day of SchoolMy ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA sorry Allie! That may need to be a story for another day. :)
      And I know what you mean about not being able to think of anything. I was convinced that I had nothing to write until about two hours before FTSF went live and then I was like “OH!” I hope you’ll think of something to submit! You could always write about how you run and don’t worry about your boob hitting you in the face??
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 1:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Oh, Don – such a man. If only my boobs were able to reach my face. You forgot to add that your hands have created these awesome and funny drawings, Kristi!
    Dana recently posted…The August Love ListMy ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Beautiful.
    Profound.
    Funny.
    Insightful.
    This post pretty much had it all :) xx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…21 Things About Girlfriends, Blogging, Imperfection, Gillian Flynn, & Other ShitMy ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - To get this out of the way, I got a knot in my gut at the carrying your ailing dog to his final resting place part. I do love that you shared that though :) The sentence…hmmm…the amazing thing my body has done is be blessedly relatively healthy (knock on wood) for my lifetime. Running. Argh! I ran in school but then stopped after I moved out. Having had knee surgery myself I get your pain, our friend! These days I save it for running to the fridge or when I’m leaving work to get into Phoenix’s Jeep and come home to him. And if a bear was running after me I would run. Oh wait, that is what you are NOT supposed to do! Ooops…cancel that last. I loved how you shared about holding Tucker and communicating to him that bad dreams can be sent away. Then about you holding your husband’s hand in labor and the connection to the inside and outside. That was AWESOME!! Another incredibly beautiful post, Kristi! :)
    Mike recently posted…Flowing Tide Pub Reno, Nevada Is An Escape To The Old WorldMy ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 10:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, I got a knot in my gut at that part too, Mike, and thought about taking it out, but Chief was a huge part of my life… Sigh. YAY to being healthy and have you ever heard that joke about the two guys who are being chased by a bear? They’re camping, and climb up a tree to get away from the bear. One guy starts digging in his backpack to find his sneakers (because he was wearing flip flops) and the other guy is like “Dude! You can’t out run a bear!!” And the guy putting on his sneakers replied with “Well, I don’t have to out run the bear. I just have to out run you.” HAHAHAH :)
      and thank you, Mike!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I love this! (Do I say that every time I comment? I’m such a goof.) But really it’s a great perspective because we women are all too often so hard on ourselves about our bodies. WTF.
    OK, now about the running thing – do you remember that episode of Friends where Phoebe and Rachel go running and Phoebe’s all CRAZY??? Yeah, I’m not even that graceful. :D hehee.August 7, 2014 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You’re SO not a goof – you’re awesome and fabulous. And yeah, we are so hard on ourselves about our bodies. It’s really unproductive. I thought I knew every single Friends episode but now can’t think of that one at all. Must Google it. Thanks!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 7:59 pmReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - It a wonder how our fingers can peck out what is conceived in our brains and hearts. And those tireless mothering days. When we (or I am) are so very tired. Yes, our bodies are amazing.
    jamie@southmainmuse recently posted…My Body Truly Amazes Me. Darn It.My ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Jamie, I know – it really is pretty awesome when you think about being able to convey emotion and grief and hope and happiness through our fingers. Thanks so much!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 7:59 pmReplyCancel

  • April - Some of my friends double up on bras. I opt for paying more for a sports bra, because otherwise, it just means that I have more laundry to do! I love how my body comforts my babies and there’s no judgment of imperfections. But that’s not the route I took tonight.
    April recently posted…A Broken Heart {#FTSF}My ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Really? People for real double up on bras?? And I agree that our bodies being able to comfort our babies is incredible. Your route tonight was incredible and brave. More hugs. Because, no words.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 8:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Yup, I am here at 10 pm on on Thursday night, because I adore and love you and couldn’t stay away to let you know this. Seriously, thank you for carrying on the FTSF tradition and couldn’t thank you more if I tried. So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart and like I told you before you are an amazing person and friend, too ;) August 8, 2014 – 2:12 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - We’re baaaaaaaaaack! Good to be back looking at posts at 10 PM ET on a Thursday night! I was excited enough when I got your message that I sat right down and wrote out my post. Once again not nearly as dramatic as your post — seriously girl your college years — TOTALLY different from mine.

    Thanks again for taking this on. Glad to hear that you are getting support for continuing FTSF. Please remember to feel good about reaching out to the FTSF community if you need help with anything!August 8, 2014 – 2:19 amReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - Loved your touching yet a sprinkle of humor in this post. As mom’s our bodies are precious and priceless!!

    Will miss Janine n Kate in this FTSF tours…but glad to have you guys back!

    Kristi dunno if my inlinkz is linked up correctly. Although, I pasted all that you gave me…lolAugust 8, 2014 – 2:21 amReplyCancel

  • MyTwice BakedPotato - No one could say those words like you :) August 8, 2014 – 2:42 amReplyCancel

  • Crumpets and Bollocks - I have the same issue running, exactly the same, the words out of my head and written way better than I could ever have. And then, the positive reinforcement over the fact that I just cannot run. Well written, heartwarming post about how a mother’s body is amazing. You struggle with running, but when you need strength and endurance to tackle more physically challenging feats, all the sudden, your body is there, doing it, with ease. Love it. August 8, 2014 – 4:39 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Funny and Beautiful as always! I haven’t written for today because, honestly this prompt makes me cringe. I have a very hard time finding anything positive to say about my body. I’m mulling it over, tough, and might link up later today.
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Waves of ParenthoodMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 7:52 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I love what you did with this prompt. I had no idea how to finish the sentence so I skipped and then read yours and don’t want to be a copy cat. But…now I might have an idea to play with. So thanks for that. However I am a little worried about what you could have done in a closet that caused a vortex.
    Kerri recently posted…Throw back Thursday–a year agoMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 8:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kerri, the closet vortex story is but one of many that will need to only be shared in person. I’m glad that you decided to play along with FTSF because I love your post!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 8:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Beautiful post and I always love how creative you are with these prompts! And HA-love your ending.:)
    Emily recently posted…Oh Look, It’s Another Medical Bill!My ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 8:26 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - I love these responses, and how you ladies are thinking beyond athleticism to what our bodies actually do everyday. I think our society wants to celebrate the ninja warriors (though those people are really amazing) but we also need to celebrate the people who work hard everyday, and our connections. Also, I think I am going to end up one of those ladies who can only do water aerobics, because every joint on my body hurts from me beating it up (via hockey). My knee feels your knee’s pain! :)
    Jessica recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: SeasonsMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So right the the ninja warriors are impressive and amazing but really, it’s all of the things we do everyday, each day, without medals or any type of recognition at all that matter. I’ll totally do water aerobics with you! As long as it’s not too early in the morning, okay?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 8:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - Oh, HELL YES. Your body has done amazing things, and I’m so glad to see that you take the pride in them that you should! (And if you do manage to hit yourself in the face with your boob, well, that could easily count for another amazing thing that your body can do.) Love the cliffhanger ending — looking forward to getting that story in person!! :)
    Michele @ A Storybook Life recently posted…Three Good Things, Vol. 4My ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 11:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA Michele – in your “delicate state” that story may need to wait a little while. Or not. Because compression socks needs some comedic relief!! And here’s to our awesome bodies!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 8:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Susan Maccarelli - Love it! I can definitely relate to the running play by play. #bloppies
    Susan Maccarelli recently posted…Playroom Organization For Moms Who Hate Toys, Playing and PinterestMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - I was all set to begin swooning over the body talk, how you turned 2 into 3, used it to vocalize dreams, and then the vortex….HAHAH! That dang content! Too funny! You are cracking me up. With regarding to boozey skiing…I know no other way! LOL But geez, it’s always the damn knee with skiing injuries. PS. I loathe running and don’t try on sports bras either. People do that? Oops!
    Rebecca recently posted…A List of 6 Badass Bloggers – Part IIIMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 12:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY to cracking you up and re: boozey skiing? So glad I’m not alone. And yeah, always the stupid knee!!! I don’t know – do people try on sports bras???
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 9:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I have a knee issue too. I didn’t come from skiing or drinking – it just showed up. It makes me have to choose sensible shoes and workout carefully. One of these days I’m going to have to work up the nerve to try a aqua spin class. Anyway love this post. Christopher has told me I’m the best pillow in the world because I’m so soft. When it comes to compliments like that, you think well a little fluff never hurt anyone ;-) I’m so glad FTSF lives on!!! Though we are sure to all stay connected, it’s “the place” where we all connected.August 8, 2014 – 1:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - UGH to knowing the knee problem, Kenya!!! I have to choose sensible shoes as well. In fact, I’m reminded of the very first post I read of yours – it was about how many black shoes you had and how “similar” yet different they all were!!! Wow. Was that really a year and 1/2 ago? Pretty sure it was FTSF, too.
      Yay to being the best pillow for Christopher and Tucker. You’re so right – a little fluff never really hurt anybody (I never did mind the little things!!!!).
      xoxo
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I just want to know how you managed such a put together postpartum photo. Seriously, look at mine. And that’s the best of the bunch.
    Sarah recently posted…I Can Do Hard ThingsMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sarah yours is awesome!!!! Also? I was 40. It makes a first time mama glow. Trust me, and I know you’ve seen first-hand, I’ve not had another photo as good, since!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - You just epitomized the concept of self-compassion, my friend. I love how you have a message that you encourage other people to live, and then you stick to it with your own words and your own life. Not that i’m saying it’s easy to always love our bodies, but still. This was beautiful. And your comment on my post made me feel much less alone, and loved, and weepy… so, thanks. xoxoAugust 8, 2014 – 3:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - LOVE LOVE LOVE this. The best BODY IMAGE EVER. And every mom deserves the same. Beautifully said Kristi Rieger Campbell. One of my favorites from you!!August 8, 2014 – 3:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I have always had this low level feeling that my body was my enemy, and I love the idea of thinking about it in a new way. Great topic, great post!
    Elizabeth recently posted…10 LESSONS FROM SUMMER CAMPMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 4:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Elizabeth! I have a hard time accepting my body these days and liked the opportunity to remember that my son (and my life) don’t view it the same way that I do!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - Isn’t life itself amazing enough? Who needs to climb Mount Everest or swim the English Channel, if we look at our bodies as a micro-cosmos and what it achieves every single day! Thank you very much for this great prompt, Kristi!
    Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly recently posted…RecoveryMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 4:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much for participating, Stephanie, and you’re right. We don’t need to climb Mount Everest to get to the amazing.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Oh boo! I just found out you all were back today when I read you and Janine’s blogs. I will definitely try to be apart. I’m also joining the FB group. :) I love love love how you shared what your body has done all these years. Very heart-warming. :)
    Brittnei recently posted…Pregnancy, Friends and 2 Year Olds, Oh My!My ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 6:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry Brittnei!! The code is open until Sunday if you would like to participate!!! And I appreciate the visit and comment. Glad to know that you will try to play along – I’ve missed you!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, this and all the other posts I’ve read in this hop are wonderful and you’ve inspired me to write one of my own. I wasn’t going to do a post today and have never joined in this hop before, but I’ve stayed up late to finish mine!
    Thanks for the inspiration.
    Yvonne recently posted…Amazing, healing, holdingMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 6:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne. I don’t have the words to say how honored I am that the incredible and beautiful and seriously blow me away post you wrote was inspired here, somehow. You did well. You win. Seriously. Thank you thank you and wow.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I can’t remember which one of your readers it was who said they loved the way in which you take them through an entire gamut of emotions in one post. I actually laughed out loud, as in “HAHA!” (all capped and with an exclamation mark) at the jogging rant with the angry knee and the fear of boobs knocking you down and then I went straight to that heart-clenched-really-tightly-in-a-fist type of feeling I often get when reading your posts. OMG, Kristi. I love you.
    Katia recently posted…Ways in Which My Kids (And Probably Yours) Are Driving Me Insane This SummerMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - I know I will hold your words in my heart as I get frustrated with my body for not working as fast as my mind tells it to during workouts. I love how you listed the many things your body had done, despite how you feel when you run. You have beautiful words and heart.
    Courtney recently posted…This week last year…My ProfileAugust 9, 2014 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hold it in your heart that you are so enough. Because you are. Whether you work out to the chatter in your head, or decide to not work out at all, and take a much needed break on the couch – your body is doing what it was meant to. You’re there. With your kids.
      Thinking about you SO MUCH. Sending hugs and prayers.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 9, 2014 – 12:16 amReplyCancel

  • Debra Cole - I cried at the dog. I always cry at the dog!!! Funny and touching piece, as always, K.August 9, 2014 – 1:50 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - You crack me up! I can’t ski anymore, due to the fracture in my neck. Too risky. I learned as an adult so I’m not totally devastated but I am irritated to have a condition that limits me from doing certain activities. But anyhow, I think we all get frustrated with the limitations of our bodies. But our bodies all have done amazing things too.August 9, 2014 – 3:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Having ANY condition that limits us is what makes me feel old – and UGH to that!! You’re right though – they have done amazing things…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 9, 2014 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - This is so beautiful! I never thought about my body like that. I mean, sure, I’ve thought about knee pain, flopping boobs (love the illustration) and the fact that I am out of breath at the end of the block. Yet, I never thought about my kids’ and how they snuggle into me for comfort. I love it.
    Echo recently posted…Out of Commission…My ProfileAugust 9, 2014 – 9:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Debra Jenkins - What a beautiful – and hilarious – post! And by the way, your son is absolutely adorable!August 10, 2014 – 4:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - I LOVE that ending! Laughed so hard!
    Shay from Trashy Blog recently posted…Blueberry PickingMy ProfileAugust 10, 2014 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie D - At first I was all, “yep, that’s my body when I run, then I was like, “aw, this is so touching!” then I snickered at the image you removed. So yeah, you took me through the range of human emotion. ;)
    Natalie D recently posted…Moving ThoughtsMy ProfileAugust 10, 2014 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Natalie. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels like that when I run and that you went through the range of emotion!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 11, 2014 – 7:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna - The most amazing thing my body has ever done is carried me three miles in the Grand Canyon in the heat of the day. It’s also amazing that I can climb a 5.7 with moderate effort considering how hard climbing is.

    Did You Know? Marching band gives someone the same cardio workout as a runner in the middle of a marathon.August 11, 2014 – 1:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Anna! That’s so awesome. You’re amazing and no, I had no idea that marching band gives somebody the same workout as a runner in a marathon!!! WOW.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 11, 2014 – 7:20 pmReplyCancel

  • becka - It is my one fear that I will be knocked unconscious when I run from my own boobies… it’s my excuse to not go running. :)
    becka recently posted…Alex’s Lemonade Stand – KaelaMy ProfileAugust 11, 2014 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

  • clark - running… is there any other natural body function that creates such high expectations of enjoyment and satisfaction and results in such a let down? (no, not including that)
    I have tried, for similar reasons….the challenge of the ordeal of running, the hope for some of that endorphin shit, but talk about abstract benefit…. “hey baby check out my cardiovascular system… hot, non?”
    clark recently posted…Random Monday the Wakefield Doctrine (if this were organized like a real personality theory, you’d have to pay for it)My ProfileAugust 11, 2014 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I always love your posts with the quirky cartoons!! Too bad you removed the self-incriminating photo!! :P
    Roshni recently posted…Hindu widows in India: that white sari!My ProfileAugust 12, 2014 – 7:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Steck - Beautiful, Kristi. Our bodies are so amazing, despite the fact that running is not our best talent. There are so many others. When things finally slow down, I hope to rejoin the Finish the Sentence Fridays. Thanks for keeping it going.
    Jennifer Steck recently posted…Dipping My Toe into the Solo Travel WatersMy ProfileAugust 12, 2014 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Jennifer! And I agree that our bodies are amazing even if running isn’t on the list of talents. I look forward to you rejoining FTSF. Also, I can’t wait to see photos of your trip!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: For Ava, in TreatmentMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 10:54 amReplyCancel

  • Alison - Ooh, I love this, Kristi! Our bodies are truly amazing, if only we give them credit where credit is due, always.
    Alison recently posted…Exactly Where I Need To BeMy ProfileAugust 18, 2014 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

Have you ever thought about the correlation between our past lives, and putting our children to bed? No? Ok well, I promise it’s not as freaky as it sounds. Tonight, I listened to my son say “Please don’t leave!” and grab my arm, and tell me “Good Job.” He told me “good job,” for staying. […]

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - So much to be thankful for! And it is is hard when we have to make the judgement call for their own good even though we would love to snuggle with them. Christopher is big for his age too – as of Friday officially 5 feet tall at age 9. Though he’s a little boy his almost man height – so yeah weird in the snuggle department. Glad you got a lot of feedback on the last post and received an well deserved apology.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…A Cookie Story… the melt in yo’ mouth delicious kindMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 12:11 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - This was absolutely spectacular as always, Kristi! I agree with “past lives” in that so very often how we were brought up with regards to sleeping with a parent correlates directly to our own childhood. Trust your gut and continue to follow it. As the old saying goes, “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it..” and what you are doing at this point is obviously working. Of course you will have some trepidation and questions…that is normal. That haircut is great and that’s cute on the no hug…Tucker knows the boundaries he’s comfortable with :) I LOVED the Superman ride experience! That young man is his on young boy with an S on his chest and will only continue to fly off into amazing accomplishments!! :)
    Mike recently posted…Chuy’s Mexican Kitchen In Reno, Nevada’s Midtown DistrictMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 12:30 amReplyCancel

  • MyTwice BakedPotato - Love! Love! Love! And sistah…you deserved that apology! August 4, 2014 – 4:08 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Glad you got an apology. That’s good. I feel more peaceful about the situation now.

    I LOVE Tucker’s new haircut – him doing that alone is *definitely* big news. I doubt that Neff would suffer a hairdresser gladly, though last time I took the clippers to him I didn’t have to actually *catch* him, though he did require a lot of cajoling.

    The fairground sounds AWESOME and I love the photos and the look on Tucker’s face as he flew. That’s amazing and I’m glad you went.

    As to the sleeping thing…can’t really be terribly helpful here, but at sleepovers, I’ve mostly left Niece and Neff once they were asleep. If they wake repeatedly in the night, I’ve been known to climb in with them and stay, just for the practical of being RightThere to soothe them back to sleep before they wake the other one up. But I think in all cases they know the appropriateness of who’s meant to sleep in whose beds, and that it’s a practical thing rather than anything else.August 4, 2014 – 6:10 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Aww, Kristi I truly agree so much to indeed be thankful for, especially the smiling face at the end! Seriously, he looks like he is flying on Cloud 9 and can tell you are doing more then something right here with Tucker more times then not. And also so glad you got that apology and definitely deserved it, but always nice when you do get it.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…My Challenge..My ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 8:33 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Sorry if there are any typos here. My kitten is laying above the keyboard with her little paw draped down and occasionally typing.
    Weird.
    These are my thoughts, though. Not hers.
    The Superman ride is incredible. The woman being big enough to apologize you is incredible. Many people wouldn’t do that.
    You are incredible.
    I’m pretty good at kid haircuts too, by the way. So I can throw that into my deal of free photography and a free place to stay in one of the most beautiful places ever.
    Have I convinced you yet?
    “dkjalf” – Dinah the Kitten
    Tamara recently posted…A Pumpkin Stew Recipe To Blow Your Mind.My ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 8:57 amReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Steck - He’s flying, Kristi! Every bit of your hard work and his is starting to pay off. Those moments where he reaches out his arms and flies on his own, with a smile on his face, are incredible and inspiring. There will be more of those moments to come. Despite the struggles, he will be okay. That’s fabulous!!
    Jennifer Steck recently posted…Ebola and My Trip to AfricaMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 9:12 amReplyCancel

  • Jean - You gave me something new to think about and gave comfort all in one post. Thank you. I’m really happy that woman contacted you- handling conflict with grace is hard but necessary.August 4, 2014 – 9:27 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha - I love reading your words. It reminded me of how all the sleep books tell you NOT to fall asleep with your kids in their bed with them, because then they wake up in the middle of the night and freak out that you are gone. But the morning snuggles when they come into your bed (provided it’s after 6am)? Lovely. And your comment about guilt — I always remember something one of my colleagues said when she came back to work after maternity leave (and this was even before I had kids) — she said, “when I’m at home, my heart aches for work, and when I am at work, my heart aches to be with him.” That’s our world. xoxo
    Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha recently posted…To the Mom Who Wishes She Wasn’t a Mom…My ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 9:38 amReplyCancel

  • Don - Hahaha, sneaking out of girls’ rooms was very challenging in all girl dorms where boys after midnight weren’t allowed, probably. Yay for the apology. Everyone learned something from the ordeal, hopefully. We’ve never let the kids sleep with us, but wife has spent a few nights in Gmans room because he’s been such a douche lately. I doubt it’s going to retard his development too much. Do what makes ya happy, or sane. Whatever.August 4, 2014 – 9:54 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh my friend….I hate that your IRL friend had to have the “too physical” talk with you but so proud that you are able to process it and be okay with it. Until you are not but then you will have your village to make you deal with what needs to be dealt with. In a way that you are the most comfortable with.

    Even if it means sleeping with your boy. I love your analogies here. Cause I think you are so right. No one wants to feel like they are not good enough to cuddle. I think you have to do what feels right for YOU. Not Tucker or your man or what that freaking no good book says to do.

    Cause none of them are you, warrior mom extraordinaire who is one of Ellen’s favorite bloggers :)
    Kerri recently posted…My Challenge: JanineMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 12:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - I’m a little conflicted on the sleeping thing, too. Baby C wants to sleep with me and, frankly, I want him to sleep in his own bed. But he wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes and throws the most horrid fit until I let him come to my bed. On a completely unrelated note (sarcasm alert), I’m totally drained and could fall asleep at my desk right now.August 4, 2014 – 12:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I love your stream of consciousness posts, especially because they make so much sense to me, even though you may cover several different topics in one post — that’s true talent! That is SO huge that the woman from BlogHer apologized and now I feel bad (just a little) for calling her a bi-atch. BTW, we got some really good guidance about telling our dude about his challenges, which we did not formally share (in other words, use THE words to describe his challenges) until he was 13. That felt like the right time for him/us and I believe each family’s situation is different. I’d be happy to talk to you about it, but only if you feel you want to hear someone else’s experience. I’m sure you already received lots of great advice about it…And also? I love seeing Tucker fly.:)
    Emily recently posted…Camp Visiting Day: The Great Junk Food DebacleMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 1:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I felt kinda bad, too, Emily!! Seriously. It really was big of her to come and apologize though and I appreciate that a lot. Hopefully, it’ll translate to a better BlogHer mini-con next year for the special needs group. Seeing Tucker fly IS pretty awesome. And yeah, I’d love to talk to you about how you knew it was time to talk to Big Dude. I don’t think Tucker’s ready but he might be ready for the speech part – I think he notices more that people often don’t understand him, ya know?
      And thank you for getting the stream of consciousness post! I still wonder if it’s too rambly and too quickly written.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 5:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Whaaa? I’m so happy that woman came over and apologized and that you got so much support and help from other moms with your questions and concerns! Win Win! A lot of Tucker’s “things” you mentioned I can relate. JR is a little taller than some toddlers his age I’ve seen, but he’s started biting again, mostly when he’s hungry. I’m not loving it but we’ve been closely monitoring him and dealing with him. He isn’t consistently playing with any kids right now so the monitoring is just what he does with us and day to day which is different I guess.
    Brittnei recently posted…Guilty Pleasures from the First TrimesterMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Wow, Kristi, you do come up with some interesting perspectives. I had not thought of a connection between how I felt about boyfriends and how my children felt about waking alone when they were young. (Just knew that the older one wasn’t keen on it, nor on going to sleep alone!) I can relate to how you enjoy those early morning visits though. They stopped for us a while ago now.

    How great that you got an apology from that BlogHer woman. In so many ways it’s great – great for you, and also it must mean she’s thought about how she behaved and realised it wasn’t nice. So maybe she’s learning from it, and that’s good.
    Yvonne recently posted…Thankful for ConnectionsMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 3:55 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - I dont know if I ever went back to your blogher post or not… either way Im glad the offender apologized and hopefully gained something from the encounter. I hope she has changed her view some… and might I just say about this post…. FLYING! THE MAN IS FLYING!!!!!!
    zoe recently posted…YOU CAN THANK ME LATERMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Looks like Tucker was having a great time at the carnival! Good for him on the harcuts — I remember them as challenging when my ASD boy was Tucker’s age. Not simple, often drama filled. Is that his official “First Day of Kindergarten” hair cut (I used to get my kids haircuts a few weeks in advance of school so that their hair would lie down in the photos).

    BTW, have you met Tucker’s Kindergarten teacher yet? We used to take my older son to meet his teacher and check out the classroom in advance of starting the year. It really helped to reduce his anxiety on the first day of school. Don’t know if that would help Tucker, but I figured that I would suggest it.

    As for the sleeping part, I wasn’t really sure where you were going with that. I recognize that you were trying a stream of consciousness thing, but I didn’t quite get it. Oh well, I’ll just have to fall in love with your next post, like I usually do!August 4, 2014 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - So much to comment on…

    Love the “stream of consciousness:).” So think of my comments as stream of blah, blah…

    I write this, my youngest is in bed with me. We have been actively negotiating terms to finally get him in his bed, in his room, full-time! This never happened with the other three, but alas, he is my baby.

    I remember the first time my special guy finally sat for a haircut – it was in the last year or two (after ten years of OMG salon moments). I used to buy him McDonalds French Fries – because I knew he’d hold on to home and eat, and then I would tell the hairdresser to go asap, before they were gone and his hands were free. And of course, a DVD as well.

    I’m having trouble getting re-acclimated into my “real life” as well, after a busy summer. I’m also trying to exercise everyday, which is taking more time than I remember (it’s been 18 mos since I did it with any sort of regularity), and then I am exhausted and don’t feel like writing. Plus trying to get kids ready for school. And unpack…still.

    Okay…I will leave now. I love the carnival pictures!August 4, 2014 – 8:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie, thank you for loving the stream of consciousness because I’ve been feeling weird about it a lot. And dude, he’s your baby. It’s FINE. Whatever you do to make life as easy and as wonderful as possible is totally FINE. I remind myself of that all the time. My problem is that – if I let Tucker fall asleep while I’m there – will he wake up sad? Like some one night stand?
      Also freaking haircuts. I totally tried to fix his crooked bangs tonight and for real messed them up. He may now need a buzz cut!!! SHIT!
      Real life and blogging is HARD especially when busy. I almost feel like bloggers and writers should just take the summer off.
      Also? My suitcase from BlogHer is still on the floor of my bedroom.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 12:12 amReplyCancel

  • Michele - LOVE the pictures in this post! Flying! You are working through a lot these days – thank you for sharing how you’re working through them (& also a quick trip in the way-back machine to those college days!). I’m so glad you got that apology, too.
    Michele recently posted…Three Good Things, Vol. 3My ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Denise - Kristi, you be as stream of conscious as you want or need to be:)
    I feel as if I haven’t “seen” you in ages! Caught some BlogHer pics on the FB. Looks like you and everyone else had an excellent time and! you got to meet Little Miss Wordy!. I always enjoyed reading Leah’s blog. Need to get back there. After catching up with you first, of course lol
    As to the young man at the center of this piece? He is one very lucky kid. Tucker may not realize that now but he will:) There is something totally awesome about the Flying Tucker pic. What is captured in the picture is total….freedom, happiness, love, innocence, childhood….love it.August 4, 2014 – 9:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Denise, I guess I haven’t been around in ages, either. It’s been a crazy summer, with traveling, Tucker turning FIVE, and me not really linking up with TToT which is partly why this post is so um, brain dump… I wanted to link up!
      And yeah, there’s definitely something awesome about that photo. Freedom, self, summer, all of it. I still am so happy that he did it alone. I was going to go with him, actually but didn’t have enough tickets and asked him if he wanted to go by himself. He found a really cool kid to be next to who even got up to ask me if I was okay and whether I wanted to take a video. Some kids? They ROCK.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 12:18 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - This is the first summer I have had to juggle the work/kids thing and it sucks! That seems to be all I do. I work and I have kids coming at me all the time. I barely have time for blogging, cleaning, or anything else. I so want to soak up all this time with my girls, but all the other things weigh on me, too and the guilt builds up. That said, your little man is so handsome and happy in that haircut picture! And, I bet he loved flying just like a ninee! :-)
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Building CathedralsMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 9:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Aussa Lorens - The sleeping in bed is a tough one… I remember when I was little and there was a thunderstorm, I wanted nothing more than to get in bed with my Mom. At some point it turned into “Okay, you can lay on the floor next to the bed” but that didn’t seem nearly so effective.

    This comment is weird. Mostly I just wanted you to know that I came, I read, I think you’re a great Mom, I love that your community rallied around you when you spoke out about some not so great things that happened. Etc. Etc. Time for bed.
    Aussa Lorens recently posted…How To Dump Your Boyfriend At A CasinoMy ProfileAugust 4, 2014 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - HE FLEW!!!! AND GOT A HAIR CUT ALL BY HIMSELF!!! Big. Stuff.

    And I love that you got so much support from that post- and an apology. Both needed. Too bad it can’t really undo that time spent in the session, but kudos to that person who needed to take responsibility.

    And yes- guilt over any choice, really. Time is unbelievably daunting… and playing with it with our choices sometimes feels like walking on a mine field. I know. I struggle with that too…

    And there is nothing that will ever ease that… but? Believing that we are doing the best we can with what we have and who we are? Is enough.
    Chris Carter recently posted…Twisted, Tangled, Tied, Trapped… Time for Psalm 23:2-3My ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Wow!! I’m so glad that she realized that what she said was wrong!!
    Tucker’s expression in the last photo is priceless..he’s really ecstatic!!
    Roshni recently posted…Our first summer barbecue partyMy ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 1:01 amReplyCancel

  • Denise Farley - Kristi, you be as stream of conscious as you want or need to be:)
    I feel as if I haven’t “seen” you in ages! Caught some BlogHer pics on the FB. Looks like you and everyone else had an excellent time and! you got to meet Little Miss Wordy!. I always enjoyed reading Leah’s blog. Need to get back there. After catching up with you first, of course lol
    As to the young man at the center of this piece? He is one very lucky kid. Tucker may not realize that now but he will:) There is something totally awesome about the Flying Tucker pic. What is captured in the picture is total….freedom, happiness, love, innocence, childhood….love it. August 5, 2014 – 1:53 amReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - I’m happy Tucker did so well with his big boy haircut. The sleeping thing is double edged. Everyone needs a good night’s sleep. Glad to catch up with your posts.August 5, 2014 – 2:16 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - An apology is awesome – I’m so glad you got one, and that she realized how her words impacted you.

    And completely unrelated to this post, I was looking at the LTYM videos yesterday – most (like mine) have 100-200 views. Yours? Thousands. I’m thankful that I got to see it in person.August 5, 2014 – 11:18 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Dana, I’m really glad that she apologized, too. I was really upset – hurt and angry. I think it was big of her to come here and say that she was wrong and that she’s sorry. Maybe it’ll be a step to making next year’s special needs mini-con better.
    And re: the LTYM video – it was shared on the Autism Speaks website, which is why it got some more views. It’s not because of you know – me, or anything.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - I can relate in more ways than one on this. Dylan has been sleeping in his own room since he was a newborn and now he is an “on my terms” cuddler. He kicks me out of his room when it’s bed time with a wave and “buh bye.” When he IS in the mood to cosleep, I don’t take the opportunity even though I really want to. And on another note, I want to be the one spending summer days with him but I’m at work. Babyhood, toddlerhood, childhood are the shortest times of their lives and I want to soak up every bit of it I can…but the real issue is I want to soak up every bit that I cant, too. Sigh. Dylan and Tucker are about 3-4 years apart but the physical aggression is all too prevalent right now. It’s so defeating and often times humiliating even though everyone around me justifies it with “oh he’s just a baby.” I feel your pain sister!
    Rebecca recently posted…Breathing Like My Life Depends on itMy ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 12:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so relate to your comment, Rebecca!! Tucker did the “nite, bye-bye” for a while but only recently has been wanting me to stay again. On one hand, I so want to stay because my little boy wants me!!! but on the other, I have to wonder if it makes him wake up earlier, looking for me. And yeah, I also get the guilt over work and wanting to soak up all of the moments. There are days when I’m beyond sad that it’s our sitter who is getting to witness the awesomeness of a splash pad, but also, when I’m at the splash pad, I feel guilty for not checking into work (I only work part time, and don’t feel AS guilty being as I traded better salary for flexibility but still).
      I hope Dylan gets over the physical aggression soon – for Tucker, it seems to come out more with certain friends, and in certain situations, such as really intense physical play, like bounce houses and stuff like that. Not sure if that helps. But well, hang in there. I’m having a glass of wine right now.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 8:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I still snuggle my boy at age 9. I know the time to end that will be sooner rather than later, so I cherish each time. What we do is read together in my bed before we fall asleep and then Autism Dad carries him back to his own bed. Love love love the pictures of Tucker flying! He looks so happy!
    Elizabeth recently posted…I ASKED HIM WHAT I SHOULD DOMy ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 12:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Why why WHY do I get to the end of your posts and find myself crying my stupid little eyes out??? Today I think it’s because first of all, that little man is so beautiful in those pics – especially the flying. How ever did you let go of him long enough to let him do it? I don’t think I could.
    And then there’s the part where I could have written part of this – how the best part of my day is when Kidzilla is snuggled up next to me in our bed at night and my Hub is saying we can’t make it a habit but oh we so can because really what’s the big deal? He carries her into her room, she rolls over and sighs, and all is well. I don’t want to lose those sweet, precious, sleepy moments. When she squirrels her way into bed between us in the morning…drives me nuts but oh I don’t want to get to the day where yesterday was the last time. Aack!
    I’m blessed at the moment with the luxury of not having to work in summer, but I often struggle with the I should be with her/I should be doing work thing, whether it’s for job or for chores or my own writing, etc., whatever. I know. And I’m glad to know you think exactly those same things because then maybe I’m not a totally goofed up Mom after all! :D
    I love this – and you!August 5, 2014 – 11:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
      I like to think it’s because little man is so beautiful but well, ok fine, it’s because he’s amazing. And I only let go because I have also not let go in other ways, and see it, if that makes sense. I so love the snuggles, too, but too often, they come at 4am when I just want to be sleeping, and have him be sleeping, but I also lie there, awake, realizing that I need these snuggles and that they are what make me able to thrive on four to six hours of sleep, when my body wants more.
      And ugh to the struggles of wishing we could be everywhere at once. You’re not goofed up – you’re here, and imperfectly perfect. I promise.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 6, 2014 – 10:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Oh Kristi, does Tucker ever comment about you not being there when he wakes up? If not, he has probably forgotten. I know I would stay with my kids (on occasion) and leave when they went to sleep. They never mentioned anything about not being there when they woke–maybe Tucker is the same way–maybe he just needs that companionship for a moment in time, and that’s enough. Every kid is different and I don’t mean to speak for Tucker. He may have a totally opposite philosophy. Although I don’t think a mommy leaving is the same as tiptoeing away from a lover in the middle of the night. But what do I know? lol

    His new haircut is adorable and sitting alone to have it done, like you said, big step! congrats. Of course I enjoyed your list, AGAIN.August 6, 2014 – 1:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda, he’s never commented on me being gone. But, he seems to be crawling into my bed earlier than he used to back when he (for like 2 months) told me to go to my own bed (my bed only). Not sure if it’s related or not, but yeah. I love the snuggles and I think you may be right that he needs it only for the moment (again, hope so!!). HAHA to the mommy tiptoeing away from her kid and her lover not being the same – completely agree. I just thought about it when I was oh-so-gently removing myself from Tucker’s bed. It’s not a feeling (the OMG DONT WAKE) that I’ve felt in a bazillion years…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 6, 2014 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen @ Born Just Right - I’m so glad you’ve gotten so much response from your post. I think it’s awesome to see the discussion from the mini-conference continuing. I’m hoping to keep the conversations going as well on my site… social media and wherever else I can find to keep it going. I really hope we can turn the mini-con into a positive experience for you and everyone else who attended!
    Jen @ Born Just Right recently posted…The conversations we didn’t have at BlogHer’s Special Needs Mini-ConMy ProfileAugust 6, 2014 – 11:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Jen. I’m glad that I did as well, and so appreciated meeting you there. I agree that it’s amazing and awesome to see the conversation continue – in many ways, that’s probably the ultimate point. That we find birds of a feather and forge relationships and talk about the hard and the easy and the in-between stuff. In that sense, this has been really empowering and great for me. I do wish the session had been different, but as a fairly new blogger (less than 2 years) and a first time BlogHer attendee, I didn’t know really what to expect. I’d heard amazing things from the year before and am jealous that I wasn’t there for that. Maybe next year, we can make it amazing again. Thanks so much for coming here to comment and for sharing your perspective.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Putting Our Kids to Bed as it Relates to Past Lives. Also, Flying and Thankful for the Special Needs Community.My ProfileAugust 6, 2014 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - I am so thrilled to see him grow. He is an amazing young man!
    Michelle Liew recently posted…Magic WandMy ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 8:06 amReplyCancel

  • Herchel Scruggs - I struggle with the same thing when it comes to my little boy. He’s getting older so I try not to stay at his bedside too long but I hate seeing the hurt in his eyes when I leave. I hate seeing the hurt just as much as I love seeing the joy!

    Mom guilt sucks but Tucker knows that you would rather be with him.

    PS
    I am happy you got an apology after Blogher.August 7, 2014 – 10:10 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks big for visiting and commenting and ugh I know. The joy and the hurt. I tend to stay because I’m not sure that Tucker gets it and also? I want to sleep!!! Selfish I know but sometimes, he comes to get me and I’m like “fine let’s go to your room” even when it’s 5am because I know I can sleep for another hour there. I’m happy I got the apology, too, and thank you!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 12:25 amReplyCancel

  • Clark Scottroger - (I’m kinda of the opinion that all (or at least the majority of) blog posts should be stream of consciousness… at least those (of) my friends. I mean, it’s only relatives that you haven’t seen in a long that tend to insist on ‘backstory’…. I would much rather just hear about (the) (a) day… because, as we all know, it is the implied (not necessarily explicitly emphasized) connections from one thought to another (seemingly) disparate thought to produces the ‘reality’ of the person.August 7, 2014 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

  • Lana - This post brought me back to when my boys were little, and I had the exact same sleep debate with myself all the time. Now they’re at the “it would be weird if they crawled into bed with me” age, and I do miss those days! I love how you focused on the good things that are going on in your life. I have been having so much anxiety lately, but writing down what I’m grateful for helps bring me back.
    Lana recently posted…He Just Wanted To Fly A KiteMy ProfileAugust 7, 2014 – 12:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s so hard, right, Lana? I mean, probably not for you now, but still, this stage, and this life, goes so quickly… and I’m so very sorry to hear about your big anxiety lately and happy that writing helps. Please let me know if I can do anything to help???
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 12:30 amReplyCancel

  • jaklumen - The special needs community really is a blessing. Right now, however, Cimmy and I haven’t been utilizing it as much because resources for us is a slightly higher priority. Even though he’s stretching our patience this summer, we can’t help Boy if we aren’t getting help for us, if that makes sense. Also, resources are limited to us because of finances, and I’m just not in the best of health to jump through all the paperwork. (The resource center nearest to us does a different system than ABA– I can’t remember the name right now.)

    I can’t wait for school to start, really. More structure, input from his classroom teacher, etc.August 7, 2014 – 8:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree that the special needs community is incredible and such a blessing. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles for resources and so very much hope you get the ones you need. The paperwork part is awful and I’ll be curious to hear what they do instead of ABA (there’s floor time?? maybe that’s it? I don’t know much about it but know that some districts practice it). Also, tried to get to your site and got a message that I need an invite? Thanks much for coming by and for your comment. I really hope you get what you need and please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 12:35 amReplyCancel

      • jaklumen - Yes, Kristi, I marked my site private. I’ll send you an invite. I… have some issues with trust and there’s been some… problems of late, and I felt I needed to hide.

        Not sure how to explain it more than that.August 8, 2014 – 7:41 amReplyCancel

  • clark - last… (no, not competitive! what makes you thing that??!)

    lol
    clark recently posted…GPTGP… the Wakefield Doctrine…. (s) scott without a keyboardMy ProfileAugust 8, 2014 – 6:26 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ icansaymama - Kristi, I finally found the time to visit and WOW, you won an award at the conference!!!! I am beyond words and so happy for you, you absolutely deserve it! So proud of you, my friend!

    Feel yourself hugged! I miss our conversations! xo
    Joy @ icansaymama recently posted…A detourMy ProfileAugust 12, 2014 – 8:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Joy! And yes, I actually was not going to go to BlogHer but I had to see that award in person :)
      Thank you for the hug and I miss you, too!! Looking forward to catching up!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…It Is With This BodyMy ProfileAugust 12, 2014 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Becka - WOW! congrats on the award! :) That is amazing. That is alot to be thankful for. I love the pictures of the fair. My son also begs me to stay with him,not so much now as he used to, and I feel the horrible guilt of leaving him after he falls asleep but there is the guilt of leaving the hubbie alone or the baby alone.. a mother’s life is full of guilt. :)
    Becka recently posted…Welcome to the 47th week of Turn It Up Tuesday!My ProfileAugust 12, 2014 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Becka! And yeah, a mother’s life truly is full of guilt. Here’s to us letting go of it and realizing that we’re doing the best that we can and that it’s okay to sneak out after our little guys fall asleep at night!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: For Ava, in TreatmentMy ProfileAugust 14, 2014 – 11:49 amReplyCancel

I went to BlogHer14 this past weekend. For those of you who don’t blog, it’s a pretty large conference where writers meet one another in person, attend parties and a variety of sessions from publishing, to social media optimization, to writing labs, and more. On Saturday afternoon, they held “mini-con” sessions, where we were able […]

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  • Emily - Ohhhh kristi how I wish I was in that breakout session with you because I would have REAMED that fuckity-fuck bi-atch! I admire your composure and for taking the high road and not blasting her on your blog…definitely the classy way to go so kudos to you on that. Also? I’m so sad I missed bonding with all you bloppys- I would have insisted on being your 4th roomie or at least hanging with you gals because I know I’d feel that same magic since I already feel it online…one of these days I’ll get there…:)
    Emily recently posted…Camp Visiting Day: The Great Junk Food DebacleMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 12:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Emily. I wish you’d have been in the breakout session with me as well. She was such a JERK. I mean, why not have a discussion about it? What good does shaming and judging and assuming do? None. She sucked. Maybe it’ll be on the east coast next year? And YES to 4th roomie!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - You know me very well through friendship and how I’m obviously very proud of you for taking the high road. That’s always been my m.o. in life and served me very well. HOWEVER, my reaction to what was said to you and with regards to Tucker got a VERY passionate reaction out of me just from reading this. Obviously, I wasn’t there to see or know the entire “playing field” but that one would have tested my threshold. I’m deeply sorry that this lady said something so very painfully insensitive to you and indirectly actually to Tucker. The latter really gives me lift off. I applaud you and support you always our dear friend!! They really served Happy Meals, Kristi?
    Mike recently posted…Top 10 Matt Damon Movies, How Do You Like Them Apples?My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Shame on this person- for so many reasons on so many levels. I can’t even begin to say how horrified and angry I am that you received such HORRIBLE feedback and how dare she be so ignorant and so egotistical!

    I hope and pray you can move forward – after you file your official complaints- and embrace the beauty of the tribe you were able to enjoy and connect with so wonderfully- and feel encouraged that your voice and Tucker’s life- will be HONORED and LIFTED and PRAISED in your incredibly gorgeous purpose…

    Living in the land of EMPATHY and WONDER.

    McDonald’s? Unbelievable.
    Chris Carter recently posted…Hope for the Hopeless…My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 2:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris, thank you. I’ve moved forward, I think. Mostly, anyway. I’m still wondering about being more anonymous with Tucker, and wish we’d had that discussion but the bloggers who were there have been incredible about reaching out and talking to me about the pros and cons of being more anonymous, so the conversation is still happening – which is the incredible part.
      Thank you so much! And yeah. McDonald’s.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 7:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - First, I’m glad that you did have magic at the conference – and got so many great photos.

    And what a shame that that speaker did not respond to your question, but spoke from her own agenda.

    Yours was a valid and important question, and one I’ve wondered about many times in my own writing. Though my kids don’t have special needs, they have needs, and my older girl was very sensitive and often anxious when she was younger. I didn’t want anything I wrote to exacerbate her feelings, and at first my blog was totally anonymous. (Which meant nobody read it.)

    I honestly don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to your question. In an ideal world, as long as we write with respect, then our children would be treated that way by readers. But of course, that ideal world doesn’t exist – yet. Even though, as you say, a bunch of 5-yr-olds isn’t going to read your blog, sometimes reading comments on sites like Huffington Post it seems that the average 5-yr-old is more mature than those commentators.

    Everyone sees and hears life through their own filter, and I wonder what on earth has happened in this woman’s life for her to respond to your so important question in such insensitive matter. It seems as if she just didn’t hear you at all, and I can see why you would be feeling disappointed and angry.

    I hope that writing this does mean you’re able to put the anger and ickiness behind you! And definitely write to Blogher!
    Yvonne recently posted…A Celebrity Dies of an Overdose – Why We Should CareMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 6:28 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Yvonne. I appreciate it. Writing it really did help and I got the BlogHer survey by email yesterday and plan on being very honest with it, because she should not present to a group of people who are trying to make a difference for special needs acceptance while also respecting their children’s rights. I mean sheesh. On one hand, I think it’s important for people to see such a beautiful and fun-loving boy as Tucker and know that this is also autism. On the other hand, his classmates’ parents don’t need to know about some of his “stuff.” It’s hard. I’m thinking of being a little more and more anonymous, slowly. Still using photos but maybe ones that are of him when he was younger and less identifiable.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 7:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Wow, I am a bit speechless right now and I totally agree you should definitely complain, because this is not the way to lead a discussion or class. Having been a teacher, I can tell you that if I had treated any of my students this way, I would have been called on the carpet and then probably shown the door. What in the hell made this lady think she had the right or even the balls to treat you this way. Let’s negate that she didn’t even answer your question, but the fact that she could be so condescending really gets under my skin just thinking about it. I am so sorry you were treated this way and I completely agree that at 5 why would you even try to talk to Tucker about Autism. Isn’t being a parent, trying to do all you can to make your child’s environment that much better not to cut them down and make them feel like they are lacking in any way, shape or form. Sounds to me like this person had an agenda totally of their own. Just my two cents and seriously I do hope you complain, because I truly hope she never gets to lead a discussion like this again or learns at the very least this is not appropriate behavior when running a session like this.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Mommy Summer Camp to the Rescue (Book Review)My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 7:28 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know, right? I was pretty speechless when it first happened, too, Janine, and even needed a few days to process it before writing about it. Crazy stuff for sure. I have no idea why she thinks she’s so amazing and knows everything, especially since she asked me nothing about how public my blog is now, about Tucker’s developmental stages and understanding, about any of it. I am totally going to complain. Thank you so much for your sweet and supportive words. I really appreciate your two cents – always. xo
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 8:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha - Oh roomie…. love love this. Yes, the weekend was happy kissy and then there was the suck. So sorry you were made to feel that way and I hope this helps to process it. Overall it sounds like the mini-cons were pretty disappointing. Love the photo slide show. :) love you, miss you, xoxo
    Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha recently posted…The Space Between: Help Your Toddler ThriveMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 8:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It was happy kissy and now I really miss you. It does sound like the mini-cons were an overall bust. But meeting you and having it be just perfectly comfortable from the very first second? Priceless and worth every minute of the Happy Meals and other less-than-favorite moments.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 8:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - I’m so impressed by you! I wish I could shoot for the stars like you are. I’m sorry that BlogHer wasn’t great and the speaker’s reaction was more about her than you. I’ve always wanted to attend BlogHer, but that community does not like my work, so i wonder why I should pay so much to attend a place that I don’t think can help me grow. I hope you can make some magic happen and glad you had fun with online friends. Take care, Kristi
    Courtney recently posted…School Supply Shopping and Painful MemoriesMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 8:53 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Courtney,
      I’m SO impressed BY YOU! I’m not really shooting for the stars… just really wanted to go and see blog friends and kiss my VOTY. Honestly, I have to wonder if that community likes anybody’s work besides the people who have been blogging for 11 years. The special needs mini-con was beyond horrible and awful and I still sorta can’t believe it. Thanks so much sweets. Been thinking about you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele - Oh, Kristi, that is INFURIATING. It is clear to all who know you just how right you are doing by Tucker, and I don’t doubt for a second that however you choose to approach writing about him in the future, it will continue to be brave and heartfelt and funny. I also don’t doubt that BlogHer will be getting a very clear message of a different sort from you this week! I’m glad that that negative experience didn’t sour you on the rest of a magical trip (b/c VOTY! and Jenny!)
    Michele recently posted…Three Good Things, Vol. 2My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 8:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michele, I agree. It was SO infuriating. And unhelpful and mean and unproductive and all the rest. Thank you for having faith that I’ll do the right thing by Tucker. It’s hard to know how much it’s my responsibility as a writer to say “YES, this, too, is autism and special needs” without, well, outing him, I guess? I mean it’s important for parents to know that these things are so very varied, because my husband and I were in denial for a long time, due to Tucker’s eye contact and other things we didn’t realize can also be autism.
      But, well, he’s going to be in a class with 24 kids next year. Not that they’ll read this blog, but, well, yeah. It’s out there…
      And yeah, VOTY and Jenny and Arianna were AWESOME. I can’t wait to see you later this month (AND OMG it’s AUGUST!!?!?).
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 9:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Meeting you, my friend, was pure magic. Public shaming in a forum that is supposed to bring people together, people who share so much in common, is the biggest sucker punch one could expect. I hope the organizers are open to honest feedback. This kind of experience shouldn’t be anyone’s takeaway from an event like this.July 30, 2014 – 9:13 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Katia, meeting YOU was magical and amazing, and I totally adore you. I also agree that shaming when we should be focusing on raising one another up is a sad, sad, awful thing. I hope BH is open to it, too. But who knows. Sometimes, it matters that people have been doing this for so long. Sigh. I miss you!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 9:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Also, I’m impressed with your ability to analyze the situation so perfectly and put into writing in a coherent and respectful way. I would probably still be going “WTF”?????July 30, 2014 – 9:15 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Wow. Just wow. A good moderator should be almost invisible to memory, promoting the rich discussion of those attending, not dominating the event. I am so sorry you had to deal with that. As you didn’t get your question answered, ask us your loyal readers! I am happy to talk about the decisions made regarding a) our son’s privacy in my blog, and b) how we discussed his diagnosis with him. Big hugs and glad the rest of the conference was good!
    Elizabeth recently posted…SOUNDS IN THE DARKNESSMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 9:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So right, Elizabeth, that a good moderator should be invisible. She was too full of herself and I’m still upset about it. I’m trying not to be, because obviously unproductive, but come ON!! I’d love to talk to you more about how you talked to your son about his autism. I’m wondering now if that’s something I should have considered before and didn’t… but Tucker is still learning his letters, so… ????
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 10:59 pmReplyCancel

      • Elizabeth - In short, he indicated that he needed to know so that’s when we told him. When you’re ready, shoot me an email and we can talk more about when and how we told him about his diagnosis (he was 7), and how we still talk about it. :-)
        Elizabeth recently posted…I ASKED HIM WHAT I SHOULD DOMy ProfileAugust 5, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Holy crap how did you not end up needing bail money? Like seriously you did not need to call Stephanie and say hey girl I need a ride home from the pokey? Yes I just said pokey. But seriously that moderator was obviously not qualified to lead karaoke let alone a break out session. Holy crap I’m pissed on your behalf.

    And proud because you are classy enough to not end up in a bar fight (this time) which must have been beyond difficult. I’m sorry that this weekend you looked so forward to was marred by a jerk.

    I’m also freaking jealous. I TOLD you that you were famous :)
    Kerri recently posted…I am the Dr. Jeckyll and Mrs. Hyde of ParentingMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 9:27 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - First, I am super happy and a little jealous that the majority of the conference was so awesome. I loved seeing the slide show, so thank you for that. Second, all those names the Bloppies were throwing sound for that woman when you posted about it on our page? Sounds like they were spot on. Kudos to you for speaking up. Who knows how many other people she’s shamed with her words. I much prefer your words: honest, positive, real. You.
    Dana recently posted…Always, my babyMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 9:31 amReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - Wow. I don’t like that woman’s response, either. I’m refraining from saying some really harsh words here….

    Anyhow, I’m glad that, overall, you had a really good time.July 30, 2014 – 9:37 amReplyCancel

  • Little Miss Wordy - It was magical for me to meet you, spend time with you and get to know you. I miss you tons! Reading this, I went through several emotions but the strongest was pride that you, an amazing, intelligent, strong, eloquent woman bravely shared this well written response to a situation that was completely uncalled for. High five and big hugs!July 30, 2014 – 9:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Love all the pictures and so sorry you had that experience with the Q&A. I can imagine that hurt and I hope that by venting it out helped but I hope you get some resolution – like an apology or knowing for sure that she won’t be invited back. I biting back an acronym to call her ;-)
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…A Cookie Story… the melt in yo’ mouth delicious kindMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 10:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Kenya. I’m biting back a lot of things to call her, and I guess the best will be if she’s not invited back. However, it seems these conferences really cater to people who have been blogging for 10+ years as presenters, and well, she has. Guess it’s our world in another 9 or so???
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Amen, sister! You’re doing an awesome job! I am sorry you didn’t get an answer to your question, and had that awful experience. I don’t know how people can feel good about themselves, putting others down like that. Good for you for keeping yourself positive. And I am glad you had all the wonderful experiences, too (jello shots and awards — woo hoo and congrats!). I hope when I grow up, I can be a real blogger and get to go to a conference like that. I would love to meet all of my favorite blog ladies! :)
    Jessica recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Around TownMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 10:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Jessica. I don’t know how people feel good putting others down either, but it seems to be kinda “a thing” and I almost wish I never knew about it in the blogging community. The awards and jello shots (which I just had vodka, for the record because don’t do well with sweet sugar shots) were awesome. I’d love to meet you. Tell me you’re coming to something? I’m not sure what I’ll go to in the future but I’d love love love to meet you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - W. T. F. You already know how I feel, but I just wanted to add one more thing. Often activists have to be “all in” — they forget about the nuances of life and are single-mindedly focused on ONE GOAL, which is THE goal, and no other goals or concerns are important. Sometimes this is how major changes come about in society — civil rights, women’s rights, etc. I am definitely NOT defending her; more explaining to you how you can not take it personally, even though it is so personal. It’s so unfortunate that BlogHer chose such a rabid, one-sided person to speak at the conference. Then again… McDonalds, Khloe Kardashian, etc… Hmmm. Maybe they are losing their compass. Love you and so sorry she shamed you. I will note that you are the bigger person for not publicly shaming her here. xo
    Deb @ Urban Moo Cow recently posted…With Toddlers, the Name of the Game is EmpathyMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 10:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Deb. You’re so freaking awesome. I thank you for the perspective of being “all in” because that’s not something I’d have considered in a billion years. It does suck when that goal is rabid and not focused on the good of all though, unlike rights. I believe in rights. Mostly, all of them, for all of us. But to shame me? That part seems dumb and stupid and self serving in such a non-productive way. and good point re: McD, Kardashian, yeah. I love you, too. And wish you’d have been there.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 12:09 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - How dare she?!!! Did anyone respond to that exceptionally rude answer?! At least one of the other moderators should have said something! !

    All taken together, I’m a little less disappointed about not going. Yes, I would have loved to have posed with my poster but that’s about it. I’m confident of meeting all you fabulous ladies in less expensive settings! !July 30, 2014 – 10:54 amReplyCancel

  • jillsmo - I have to say that I wasn’t surprised by any of this. It was exactly what I expected from the agenda-having asshole, especially considering that at the first day of the conference she got up in front of 2000 bloggers and said that if you have feelings about your child having autism it means that you’re in a pain competition with them. She’s horrible.July 30, 2014 – 11:12 amReplyCancel

  • Dani G - Even though I wasn’t there, I know who you’re talking about. Unfortunately, we in the special needs/Autism community know that shaming other parents who don’t see things EXACTLY as she does is totally her thing. That’s what she does. That’s why so many of us don’t follow that page anymore.

    The worst part? I worry for the newly diagnosed families searching for answers and support and showing up to a mini-con like that or to the page she admins and being shamed into a corner and deflated. It’s a terrible disservice she provides to parents who are often scared and feeling desperate. Bitch.
    Dani G recently posted…*This Moment*My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s been really eye-opening to me to read how many of you know who this is and agree that she’s horrid. I had never heard of her, or her stupid FB page before and now, well, I guess it’s a good thing I’ve been enlightened. I, too, worry about new parents finding her. I’m glad that I didn’t find her and found JillSmo and Ellen (love that max) instead. Yeah, she’s a bitch. Thank you for your comment!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 12:50 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly @OneQuarterMama - Hi! First time I’m stopping by here. I found you through Triberr.

    I went to BlogHer last year, and like you, I was a little underwhelmed. I found the panels way too basic and it was just ok. I did like all the free stuff though! I don’t drink, so I don’t care for the parties. Anywho, I think I would be better suited for BlogHerPro if I am to return.

    I also think you asked a really good question. I am open about my own autism. My son is almost five and I am open about his, but I do have a sort of personal “privacy policy” I use when it comes to disclosing certain things. I do not use his real name on my blog. I don’t post tons of pics. I don’t disclose things of a personal nature – like bodily functions, bad moods – things that can be embarrassing later on.

    I think for me it’s because I don’t see autism as something to hide. If you get to know me, it becomes fairly apparent – it’s not something I can hide and don’t really want to. I think the more open we are, the more accepting people can be. I would hope by the time he’s older, it will be seen as something totally normal and it will be easy for people to make accommodations.

    I also believe in giving them the language they need to understand their world. You might be surprised to think your child knows he’s different. I was not able to verbalize it, but I always knew. The problem is when I did not have a diagnosis or language to explain it, I blamed myself. I thought there was something very wrong or bad with me. So even if you don’t believe he understands, you can start telling him he is different and special. Point out his challenges and his talents with him. Tell him people have different brains and that’s ok. I tell my son he has my brain, but not daddy’s. I tell him we both share an amazing eye for detail, but we sometimes struggle with other things.
    Kelly @OneQuarterMama recently posted…Autism Parenting Magazine DisappointsMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 12:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi, Kelly.
      Thank you so much for your insightful comment. I’d love to learn more about how you feel the best way to talk to my son (and for my friends to talk to their ASD children as well) about delays, autism, speech, etc.

      Honestly, I’ve never really thought about it before. My son Tucker is fairly high functioning, and is socially motivated, but very delayed from his typical peers. He also just turned five, so is pretty young, and still working on ABC’s so I’m not sure how much he’d understand about whatever I say about him being unique.

      I suppose I’m guilty of assuming that he’s not aware that he’s different, but maybe he is. I do know that when he talks to other kids on the playground, that he’s often met with either questions as to what he’s saying, or a dismissal, and so maybe he is more aware than I realize.

      I’d very much like your input on speaking to my son about his differences. I don’t see autism as something to hide, either, and think it’s very important for all children to realize how unique and different they are. When we enter ASD into that picture, it’s even more important, I think.

      I’m so sorry that you went through a period where you blamed yourself and if you have any advice on me speaking to my son, so that he doesn’t do the same, I’d love to hear it. And thank you for your comment – I appreciate your insight.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

      • Kelly @OneQuarterMama - I actually wrote a post about disclosure not too long ago: http://www.onequartermama.ca/2014/06/how-to-explain-autism-to-5-year-old.html

        I also use the reasoning given to me by a nurse when I went to bereavement counselling. My son was 16 months when my dad died and I hadn’t actually said the words to him. I said things like, “we can’t see him anymore,” “he’s up in the sky” and the nurse said, “you need to tell him he’s dead. You need to give him the language to tell his story and as he gets older, he will put it together and understand.” It was hard, but eventually I did it. And I’m sure he didn’t understand at first, but now he’s starting to. He asks questions now and I can answer them frankly. I don’t think kids get euphemisms very well. One of my son’s first questions about my father’s death was, “did I cause it?” – I think kids always blame themselves first – like with divorces or anything like that.

        So the same goes for disability disclosure. Slowly, with lots of little mini conversations, you bring up little details. Talking about it often also keeps the doors of communication open. It’s not a taboo subject, it’s something you can talk about and discuss.

        As he gets older, he can tell other children why he needs some alone time, for example, when they want to play.

        As an aside, just because your son does not repeat back his ABCs the way you would expect, does not mean he does not know them. Always presume competence. It just doesn’t always come out as you would expect. The wheels are always turning in our heads. So many times (still, as an adult) someone will ask me if I know something and I’ll say “no,” but then I realize I really do, and in many cases, I actually know more about it than the person asking me, but the right thoughts did not assemble themselves fast enough for me to say it.

        And thanks for asking me questions. I’m happy to give my insight if it helps someone.
        Kelly @OneQuarterMama recently posted…Autism Parenting Magazine DisappointsMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and your post, Kelly. A lot. I commented on your blog as well but it’s this conversation that has helped me to identify ways to talk to my son about being unique. I think I can start with speech, as I think he may have apraxia, although we’re not sure. But it seems like a great place to start, as it’s his biggest challenge. I also really appreciate your insight that just because he may not say his ABC’s correctly, that it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know them. I have a feeling I’ll be asking you quite a few questions. Thank you!!!
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 4:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie Chenell DeNeen - So, I think you did a fantastic job of writing about this {because I knew just how fired up you were}. It was so great to hang out with you, I love that you are so thoughtful about your son and his needs. I just started thinking about my kids last year and they were a lot older than five! That should be applauded, not condemned. You’ll walk the line and make it look easy, as you always do. xoxoJuly 30, 2014 – 12:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Hi –

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. I am disabled and I have a kid who is now 21 and transgender. I have never, ever posted anything about my kid without running it by them first. Ever. If my kid says, “no,” the post doesn’t go up. My kid’s privacy is incredibly important to me. I started blogging when my kid was 16 and able to read the things I write and make an informed decision about them; if they’d been any younger and I wanted to blog about our lives, I’d have hidden our identities behind several walls of anonymity. I am not at all comfortable with people who talk about the details of their minor children’s lives without protecting their privacy.

    As for telling your kid that he is autistic — there is time for that. Plenty of time. No need to do it on anyone else’s time schedule but your own. Your first priority is your kid, your schedule, your lives. Don’t let anyone shame you about that.July 30, 2014 – 12:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you, Rachel. I really appreciate your insight and your comment. I do think there are some small ways that I can begin conversations with my son – possibly speech is a good place to start as it’s his biggest challenge and so likely the thing that will become obvious to him first. Also, I really liked your post on dismantling the idea of normalcy, by the way. Excellent.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 4:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - And my heartbeat is elevated reading it! What a $&@&”$&!!!!!!!!!! There is no place for speakers like her, especially in such a sensitive niche.
    Your question is such a good one. I debate it into mind all the time. All.The.Time. I can’t make up my mind how much to share. You can do so much advocating when you’re open like you are. On the other hand, I have those same privacy questions. I really don’t know what is right.
    As for talking to Tucker about his autism, obviously he is too young! I’m with you 100%. Anyone who has ever read your blog knows you’ll be amazing at communicating with him about his strengths and weaknesses when the time is right. And you and Robert are THE ONLY ONES who will know when the time is right.
    What is so infuriating about this presenter is that she assumes she knew Tucker’s needs better than you, and that’s what really gets me! What insufferable hubris! Anyone with any experience, introspection, compassion (I could go on) knows this basic truth: nobody’s mama knows better than that kid’s mama. So shut the eff up.July 30, 2014 – 1:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree, Sarah. No place at ALL. What could have been a really positive and helpful conversation turned into bleh and ickiness. I can’t make up my mind how much to share, either. On one hand, I think it’s important for people to know that special needs children don’t always look like it (because I think it’s been easier for me to be in denial about Tucker, especially when he was even younger) BUT next year, he’ll be with a bunch of typical kids. I don’t want to share anything he won’t be comfortable with later. It’s hard.
      Thanks for the support, too, about talking to him. I agree that we’ll know when the time is right although I have been thinking about it a lot. I think we’re going to start talking to him more about speech because that will be what he’ll notice first, I think, about being different.
      HAHA to insufferable hubris! <3
      I adore you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 4:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Wow. I know you experienced awesomeness at this event. It’s too bad about the happy meals and the “afterthought” recognition. I’ve been to events like that and it sure seems like the people hosting the show have forgotten what the show was supposed to be about. Your sign is cool. I’d kiss it too. :-)

    As far as the workshop. I absolutely hate to be publicly shamed–especially when I ask a legitimate question. I’m sure the whole room felt uncomfortableness about this. I hope you do suggest that this person never return. You are awesome and you will do what is right for you and Tucker. I was a bit luckier in one aspect. Lindsey had a physical disability: tremors, that got worse over time. We started talking about them early, like three, four, five. We didn’t make a big deal about them, but said she might have to work harder when they were at their worst. We gave her new ways to try things and she went to therapy once a week. Anyway, Lindsey grew up with the knowledge she had tremors, just like she had the knowledge she had blonde (at the time) hair. It was no big deal. As far as the mental disabilities, I guess I was in denial for so long I really didn’t discus those with her until later. Maybe even ten years old, when she started asking questions on why she was different from the other kids. I just acted like it was no big deal as we talked. And most of time, Lindsey skipped (or her version of a skip) outside to play.
    Linda Atwell – Out One Ear recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful – July 27, 2014My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 1:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Linda. I hope talking to Tucker comes with a ton of insight. It’s a little bit frightening to think about how to bring it up, ya know? But I think I should say something before he worries that something’s “wrong” with him. Maybe I start with speech therapy, since he must know that there’s a reason he has to practice words so much. And yeah, the event was a huge disappointment. Sigh.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 4:35 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - It was so fun to see all of the photos on FB and IG you all posted while at the conference. Clearly, you all had a blast.
    As for High and Mighty Moderator, I would have sat there stunned, unable to come up with a retort. Until the break-out session was over. THEN, when it was too late, I would have had all sorts of awesome things to say to her and would be furious that I didn’t think of them sooner. I’d still be stewing. Oh wait, this isn’t about me. :)

    I hope you find the right people to talk to at BlogHer in order to keep this person from being moderator again. Hey, maybe they’ll even ask you to replace her!
    christine recently posted…Young Moms Have No Idea How Good They Have It. Photography Then and Now.My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 2:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I was pretty stunned, Christine. Like big stunned. I tried to talk more but ended up giving up. The cool part was that so many of the people in the audience ended up having a discussion with me (and continue to) so that I can work through how much I should share. And I hope I find the right people at BlogHer, too. HAHA to replacing her – I think this chick’s been blogging for 11 years!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 4:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie DeYoung Ricci - I agree with Julie — great job addressing this tope when it is soooo inflammatory.
    And I loved that I got to hang out with you in person. You’re my kind of people.July 30, 2014 – 3:14 pmReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - SO nice to hear your experience. AND CONGRATULATION ON YOU VOTY! WOOT!! I’d have been hugging and kissing my sign for hours!! Way to go!!!

    We’ve never made it to BlogHer so it’s invaluable to hear about your experience to see if we should budget for it next year. Getting to meet and be with bloggy friends sounds heavenly. BUT WHAT IN THE WORLD with that horrible moderator. WHAT?!?! I cannot believe she responded like that. Beyond terrible. I hope they never let her anywhere near another conference.

    And not for nothing, but your question was EXCELLENT. It’s too bad that lady was horrid, because it would have been a really interesting and helpful conversation for bloggers to have with someone normal. –Lisa
    The Dose of Reality recently posted…Back To The Old SchoolMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 3:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks for the congrats, Lisa! You two should come to a BlogHer because I’d LOVE to meet you in person! And yeah, I agree that it would have been a great conversation to have with bloggers had the moderator been anything more than the douche she was. Thanks much!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 4:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Oh wow, that is AWFUL! I would be so pissed too. I’m glad the rest of the conference was so awesome. I’ve recently been more inclined to not put pics of my kids on my blog. Also, when I have something not so positive to say about one of my kids I try to keep it general, so it’s not so easy to pick out which kid did it. Obviously, not something you can do though. We have a lot of issues in our house and I just won’t write about them because I don’t know how my kids will feel about it. I’ve even been taking all the adoption part of my blog down. But that’s MY kids. Other kids are different and some appreciate the limelight and speaking up, so I think you have to go with your gut. You know what’s best for your son and your family. There are a lot of anonymous blogs that do really, really well. Just my two cents. :-) July 30, 2014 – 3:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel Kenyon - I LOVE BlogHer even though I haven’t actually made it there… yet. You are a loving mother to even notice that your son has rights, too, which clearly the bad moderator has not considered of her own child(ren). Personally, at Stimcity, I have decided this past year to stop writing as my daughter has become more aware of things in general. She just turned 8 this month. In my heart I recognize that at 8, she still wouldn’t understand what a blog is, what autism is, or why she is so damn special – but I still want her to respect me for respecting her when she didn’t have the chance to speak up. You go, Mama. Keep up the fantastic job!!July 30, 2014 – 3:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Adrienne Jones - Sigh. Yeah. So fucking frustrating. There are no “right” answers here and people who think they have them are infuriating. I (and many others) are always here to wrestle with the questions with you, and support you in finding what works for you and your family, whether that’s what’s right for us or not. That’s when our community works best. I’m totally public. It works for us. It’s not right for everyone. July 30, 2014 – 3:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I was reading the beginning and kind of sad that I didn’t go…and then I read what happened and I am relieved. I probably would have been in that session with you – and I would have lost it and made a fool of myself. I cannot believe she said that! You know my situation, and I can’t even imagine what she would have said to ME!!!!
    Allie recently posted…Being a Fan During the Good Times and the SadMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 4:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know – she was AWFUL! I saw your email and will reply – sorry, been swamped trying to catch up after being gone for four days!! I would LOVE to do a conference with you and so very much wish you’d been in the special needs mini-con with me. It was pretty terrible.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - I am bothered by your experience with that crappy panelist! How dare she! She should ask more questions before giving her worthless two cents…like, “What does he understand about autism right now?” I get pretty protective over people, even when I don’t know them well, and right now I’m feeling protective of you. Give me this ladies address! jk ;x
    Rebecca recently posted…Can Coffee Stunt My Son’s Growth?My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 4:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Rebecca, I’m bothered by the experience as well but I feel really lucky that so many people from the session have reached out and told me that this woman is known for being an evil troll online and offered their support and ideas about how to move forward with both openness and respect for my son’s privacy. Thank you so much and I love that you are feeling protective! :)
      Thank you!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 6:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Mame MamaFry Dennis - As a blogger who chooses to remain anonymous, I am furious for you. Her advice is pointless and useless. This isn’t about growing a thicker skin. This is about your child’s right to privacy and also his safety. Those are the two main reasons why I do not share my son’s name. He didn’t ask me to write about him and it’s a big old scary world out there. July 30, 2014 – 5:17 pmReplyCancel

  • kimberly @ red shutters - It was great to meet you at the writing lab, especially after having enjoyed your blog from afar.

    I really hope you pass along this information to the BlogHer leadership. It is unacceptable for anyone to be so disrespectful–especially a session speaker.

    I’ll keep reading!
    kimberly @ red shutters recently posted…She is 5My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 5:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Lance Burson - It was great to finally meet you. Thanks for the hug. I’m sorry your disappointment part. The great part was getting to hang with people you felt like you knew for years. Thanks for being awesome.July 30, 2014 – 5:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Janel - Holy shit. I would have freaked the fuck out if she said that to me, and I would have held your purse and earrings for you if I had been sitting at your table when she said that to you. Congrats on your voice of the year. I remember hearing you read your piece at BlogU, and I loved it.
    Janel recently posted…It’s the Most Wonderful Time of His YearMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 6:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy at kissing the frog - Hmmm,this is why I have never really wanted to go to BlogHer. I don’t do well in huge, impersonal settings, and it sounds just like what this was. I’m glad you got to meet people IRL and make connections that are going to be important, but I’m sorry the speaker wasn’t more helpful. For shame. :(
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted…I’m an Awesome Mom, and You Can Be, Too (with a little help from MomAssembly)My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 6:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - I’m back. I’ve been thinking about this today, and I just want to let you know that your wonderings are valid. I don’t write much any more because my kids are asking me not to share their failures and learnings. You will talk to Tucker when the time is right (we told our son at 7 due to HIS circumstances) YOU WILL KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT to tell him.
    Courtney recently posted…School Supply Shopping and Painful MemoriesMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 7:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Bipolar Spirit - So sad that you were shamed. You get to decide when you will tell your son about his autism, you know best when it will be helpful to him. Plus, we do need to be careful about how we talk about our kids online and in other venues. I have a similar issue as a blogger and minister where I use things I have learned from my son in blogs and sermons. I wrote a post about it for other parents a while back: http://www.movinginwithdementia.com/2010/10/tips-for-responsibly-posting-about-kids.htmlJuly 30, 2014 – 8:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Jess at Welcome to the Bundle - I know just how much you love your kid and advocate for him every minute of your day. I’m so sorry that someone with an ego that needed stroking decided to use you to get her jollies. Keep in mind that for every careless, clueless person who tries to cut you down, you have a band of supporters who will happily pull you back up. And that is a testament to the kind of blogger, mom, and person you are.July 30, 2014 – 8:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Jess. I really really appreciate it – and YOU, because well, you. And thanks, too, for the reminder of the people willing to help me back up when I need it. Same goes to you, sister of the Advanced Maternal Age (hahah because I was told it was 38 so maybe they adjust the age to just a couple behind us to make us feel better?).
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 7:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - You. Nailed. It. This was perfectly, beautifully done. The disappointment part was sucky, and yet you made something good out of it with your honesty and candor. Loved it. And also? OMG!!! I hadn’t seen the McDonald’s pictures of us! I need to have those right now. I was weepy looking at the photos- wasn’t it the best ever? Being together? Sob. July 30, 2014 – 8:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Alison - Thank you for sharing your experience, Kristi. I’m glad you met so many online friends, and had a great time.

    I am also sorry for your experience with that speaker, who was definitely out of line. Our journey, our story, that is our own. No one has a right to tell you what to do or how to do it.
    Alison recently posted…My StoryMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 8:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Hi: I’m happy and sorry to hear about your BlogHer experiences. Obviously, the connecting with other bloggers was a great experience for you! It sounds like the Special Needs session wasn’t particularly helpful; in looking at the other comments it appears that the moderator was known for not handling this topic gracefully. The topic itself is an important one to consider. You are a talented writer, with a lot of insight to offer other special needs families. OTOH, there is your son’s privacy. You’ll have to balance the two priorities, and may find that the priorities change as Tucker grows older.

    I think that it also might make sense to mention that autism doesn’t necessarily affect only those families who are kind-hearted, generous and sensitive. Sometimes, it affects people who aren’t that sensitive, or insightful, or wise or even kind (like that speaker, poor woman). It’s true that we don’t need to spend a lot of time listening to those people when they say silly or insensitive words. But I think that it is helpful (to me at least) to accept them for what they are: parents (another Mom in this case) who have the same fears, uncertainty and concerns for their kids and families that you and I share for our kids. Does that help? July 30, 2014 – 8:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Caitlin Beauchaine - Kristi – I’m so glad you enjoyed connecting with some fellow bloggers at the conference, but that totally sucks about the mini sessions. To me, it seems like a great topic of conversation to discuss whether or not it’s the right thing to be sharing personal information about our families so publicly. I wonder about this too, about whether or not it’s safe to be sharing photos and private thoughts and information. I don’t think it has anything to do with having a “thick skin.” It’s about safety, privacy, and how our kids might feel about the honest things we’ve posted about them when they are older. And to tell you that you should talk to him about having Autism at 5 years old? That’s crazy. As a mother, you will know when the time is right. I totally respect your honesty and I’m glad you shared your disappointments, because hopefully this type of shaming won’t happen again.
    Caitlin Beauchaine recently posted…Toddlers and TricyclesMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 8:55 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I really did enjoy the connections, Caitlin, and thank you for your insightful comment. I appreciate it, a lot. I’ve been feeling pretty raw and sad and well, all of the inadequate things since this, like I’m doing it all wrong, but honestly, I don’t think I am doing it all wrong. I don’t think it has anything to do with a thick skin either, but damn. Well. I hope I know when the time is right. I guess each of us has to trust ourselves to know when the time is right to talk to our kids about ALL of the things, yes? And thank you again. <3
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 8:58 pmReplyCancel

  • JD @ Honest Mom - I’m so glad you had such a good time – and I’m so sorry that woman was so terrible to you. I think most of us have so little experience with bloggers being jerks to fellow bloggers that when it happens – and in person, no less – it’s just mindbogglingly shocking. No one has a right to tell anyone how to advocate. Or whether or not they should advocate in the first place! Ugh. But I’m glad you had a blast with everyone and I hope to see you next year!!!
    JD @ Honest Mom recently posted…How to stop letting Facebook and Instagram make you feel like a terrible momMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • WriterMom Angela - I am so incredibly sorry that you had that experience. Why do women think they have to always make things about someone else’s flaws in order to feel better about themselves?

    My son has ADD, he was diagnosed about 9 months ago and he knows that he was diagnosed with this and what that means…as much as an 11 year old can understand that is. He also knows that his cousins have ADHD and really what this means is that their brain works differently than other people’s and even than each other’s! His close friend has Autism, and he knows the same thing, that his brain works a little differently but guess what, his heart works exactly the same as ours does!

    People need to learn to shut their damn mouths when they don’t have anything constructive to add! I applaud your question, it’s a tough one! I try hard to be open and honest but also protect my family’s privacy. It’s a delicate balance and one you can’t go back and undo. Privacy lost is gone, and can’t be regained.
    WriterMom Angela recently posted…That is the Poor Kids’ LineMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 9:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Angela. I love the idea of explaining that some people’s brains work differently but that their hearts are the same – great words!! And I don’t know why women have to make things about somebody’s flaws. It’s really sad – we should build one another up, not shut one another down.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 12:08 pmReplyCancel

  • jaklumen - I wish I could have been there, at least for that one moment.

    Why do I think I could have made a difference? Because I figure I’m a rare breed. I’m a father, on disability, who’s proudly domestic. And I’m a father of a 7-year old boy with autism.

    But I’m an outsider. Does that make sense? Take a peek at my blog. It’s okay, it doesn’t bite. See, that woman wouldn’t have seen what was coming if I’d been there to comment next. I write about the Hero’s Journey. I write about Joseph Campbell. I write about myths and stories, but also raw, real life. Who’s my blogging hero? Brett McKay of The Art of Manliness. I want my son to grow up to be a hero and win his own battles, and I say…

    THAT WOMAN wimped out. It was a wimp-ass retort. A coward’s reply. You have every right to set things just so, so if Tucker wants to come blog in about 10-15 years and speak about his own experience, you allowed him that choice. You allowed him some room to speak on his own terms.

    Keep your head up, Sister Blogger. You are awesome, because I say so. The battle isn’t over yet.
    jaklumen recently posted…Purification by fireMy ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so very much Jaklumen – I wish you’d have been there too and would have loved to hear your retort. I think that woman wimped out, too and here’s to our sons growing up to be heroes. Truly. I most definitely will check out your blog – am very intrigued!August 2, 2014 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

  • yvonne@attractedtoshinythings - I was so upset after I read this post, I googled the list of Mini-Con speakers and IMMEDIATELY knew who you were talking about. It sounds to me like she was projecting her own shit onto you. She turned her issue into what (she thought was) your question. NOBODY from TPGA should EVER be asked to speak about Autism, IMO. Everytime I go to that page, there’s nothing but parent-bashing going on, and very limited understanding of the whole picture of autism. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I’m glad you spoke up about it.July 30, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne, it’s amazing how many people knew immediately who she is – I guess that says quite a bit. And parent bashing? So not cool. UGH. I don’t actually go to that page so I haven’t really seen it. I’m so tempted but may get sucked in and would rather get sucked into hilarious blog posts about you in second grade.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 12:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - OMG! Her answer had nothing to do with your question! What an ass! I cannot stand idiots who think they know all about you and your kid and what you should be doing. If it’s any Help at all I think Tucker will eventually be able to make it known if he doesn’t want you to disclose on your blog about his autism. I wish I had never told my now 24 yr old Son that he had autism.
    Sylvia recently posted…What’s the Word Wednesday? #4My ProfileJuly 30, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree Sylvia!!! And really? I’d be curious to learn more about why you wish you’d never told your son that he has autism. Thanks so much for your comment and support!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 12:43 pmReplyCancel

      • Sylvia - Because now he is so high functiioning now that unless you are familiar with autism or live with him you might not notice that he even has it. He has never disclosed at college or job interview or ever asked for any accommodation of any kind. I’m not saying that he is cured or couldn’t use a little help, but he refuses to ask. Not telling him is an option and something to think about anyway.
        Sylvia recently posted…Friendship Friday: New Revelations!My ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 1:29 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Thank you, Sylvia. That’s actually really helpful, because it’s something I struggle with too. I’m not sure if it’s smart to give Tucker the word “autism” as he is well, very very delayed with language and has some worrisome control and anger issues, BUT, he’s very socially motivated, engages in incredible imaginative play, and, for the most part, isn’t obviously autistic. His language barriers are quite obvious, but for the rest of it, I’m not really sure yet. I think the place to start is in talking to him about his words, so that he knows nothing is “wrong with him” when people can’t always understand him. It’s a hard place and I really appreciate you coming back to share your advice. So much.
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 8:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - So sorry to hear about what happened Kristi! Whatever she said were pure misguided, uninformed and unrequited advice/bashing meant to make the speaker feel good about herself. Nuff said.July 30, 2014 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Lexi Sweatpants Magnusson - I’m so sad that you felt the wrath of Shannon. She just doesn’t get it at all. She and TPGA are merciless to parents who don’t fall in line with their narrative to a t. Don’t listen to her. Do what is right for you and for your child. You can totally advocate for your child from an anonymous setting. You aren’t not accepting of his autism because he isn’t ready to understand what it means yet. She can shut the fuck up forever. July 30, 2014 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - Great recap and great post! “m so glad you got to meet up with some of your tribe and have a great time. I am very angry how your question was handled. I think you brought up such an amazing question and one that i struggle with myself. I think the speaker missed out on leading a great conversation about an issue I bet a lot of the other parents were thinking. Love you! And congratulations again on your VOTY, Love all the pictures too! xoJuly 30, 2014 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Ashley Fitting - Humph. That person should have been kicked, hard and immediately during that break out. I think that is one of the things that drives me NUTS about BH (and yes I did go and yes I’ve gone to more than one)is that some of these people sit up on those panels and just see themselves SO HIGH up there. Like, hey, I’m on a panel and I’m awesome and you’re an idiot. Everyone’s story is important. Everyone has to make a choice about how much they put out there and how it affects THEIR family and THEIR lives and THEIR story. Fuck her and the stupid fucking blog she rode in on. ROWR.

    That being said, there are plenty of people who spoke at BH that are awesome and amazing and while I didn’t take a whole heck of a lot away from the conference (besides an AWESOME time with friends) I know that they feel blessed and privileged that people even want to hear them talk …

    I wish we had met there! Because I’m un-judgy and pretty damn fun :-) and can dance to Rev Run with the best of them… when they aren’t shutting him down for noise violations.
    Ashley Fitting recently posted…Coping with Aging Parents | Part OneMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ashley, I know what you mean about some of the panelists being all “I’m huge and important and you’re all a bunch of nobodies so listen to me tell you how fabulous I am” but also – yeah, there were some awesome ones as well. Ones that actually led the sessions and empowered and inspired. I really enjoyed the publishing session.
      And holy cow – is that what happened to Rev Run? I was wondering why he left so early. I’d have loved to have met you! Next conference for sure!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 1:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Leigh-Mary Barone Hoffmann - In part, this “WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK?” is why I love you. I am so sorry that happened…not cool! There is so much that could be said about this but it’s no more than you haven’t thought or heard yet. That said, my daughter is high functioning PDD — she is 12 and I just told her last night about her autism which was the right time for both of us. I fear, too, that she may see a post that I would prefer she didn’t but I do everything I can to make sure she does not see my blog. Bless you and your Tucker. And Fuckity, fuck fuck that jackass moderator. July 31, 2014 – 12:31 amReplyCancel

  • Angela McKeown Momopolize - I’m so sorry you had to deal with that beeatch. She’s the one who deserves to be publicly shamed, but I admire that you are taking the high road and handling it privately (and not giving her any undeserved traffic!). Love that the other parts were so awesome. Big hugs to you!July 31, 2014 – 3:20 amReplyCancel

  • Chelley Martinka - I’m sorry you had that experience! I have a very different special needs situation and I’ve told my 2 year old all about it and been told I should just let her go and she will figure it out. Well… no shit. We all figure it out. I don’t know where I’m going with this… except that I think you are always doing the best thing for your child. I too have wondered how long should I write about the surgeries/struggles before passing them on to my child… if you ever get a good answer, please let me know!July 31, 2014 – 3:53 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - Oh Kristi, I am so sorry. I completely understand why you were so upset…there was no reason for those kind of comments and not only that, they weren’t even relevant to your question! You are definitely right to complain. I can’t stand people who get on their high horse like that…she’s on a panel so she must be special…seriously? Get a reality check.
    On another note, Happy Meals? Really? Please tell me that didn’t happen.
    Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life recently posted…Parenting Choices: When a Parent Crosses the LineMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 7:06 amReplyCancel

  • Nicole Leigh Shaw - Oh, I’m so, so sorry this happened. I can only imagine how you felt, publicly singled out and made to feel inadequate. You know none of that is true. I know you know that. Big hugs, momma.
    Nicole Leigh Shaw recently posted…50 Shades of Food–Sex DreamsMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 10:02 amReplyCancel

  • Tricia - Oh Kristi I am so sorry. But so glad you shared. Anytime more than two moms get together is an opportunity for building up. And that opportunity doubles when those moms are writers and bloggers and advocates. There is never any reason for tearing down in that moment, there are so many other things and people to do the tearing down. I’m glad that you are able to put that moment aside and focus on the glow. Because the glow in that photo of you and your VOTY, that will take you so far.July 31, 2014 – 10:43 amReplyCancel

  • Gary Sidley - The conference clearly was a mixed bag. Events of this kind (whether they’re about writing/blogging or any other issue) always attract a wide variety of people, some of whom are always self-opinionated arse-holes. I’m just so pleased to hear about the bonding, friendships and networking and hope these positives will be the memories that endure.
    Gary Sidley recently posted…The circle of lifeMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

  • Lucy Ball - As an anon blogger, I am deeply offended. As a person you wanted to lick, I am deeply enamored. :-) I’ve struggled with this since I began blogging. I have been called everything from a COWARD to a LIAR and a PHONY for being anonymous. It’s a choice. And I would hope that anyone speaking as an advocate on any issue would have the intelligence and sensitivity, or at least the basic skills to speak to this. The idea of wanting to share our voice to help ourselves and others is a slippery slope. And I TOTALLY get what you’re saying about wanting to protect your loved ones, especially years from now. I hope your feedback on that session will be taken to heart by BlogHer.
    Lucy Ball recently posted…What Happens At #BlogHer14 Gets Plastered All Over The InternetMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 12:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHAH Lucy. I can’t believe people have called you a coward and a liar and a phony for being anonymous. Everybody’s blogs are THEIR BUSINESS and it’s our right to do what we think is best for our situation and our families. I wish I’d have thought about it more before I began blogging actually, but I guess I never really realized that people would actually read this here thing. And I hope BH takes my feedback, too. We’ll see. XO
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 1:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - BlogHer sounds like a lot of fun except for that one person. I think sometimes there are some bloggers who take their blogging position a little too seriously. They start to think they are really experts and above everyone else. But I’ve seen this among non-blog people too. I’ve seen it A LOT among people who work with children or animals, for some reason. There are always a few that really seem to believe that they know more than anyone else, that everything they do is the correct thing, and that most other people are idiots. I generally try to avoid those people at all costs.
    Angel The Alien recently posted…Surprise! I Was Hiding Under The Bed That Whole Time!My ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 1:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re right about some bloggers taking themselves too seriously, Angel. And other people do as well – I wonder why more do who work with kids and animals. Interesting. The rest of BlogHer really was a lot of fun. Hanging out with so many writers was really inspiring.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 1:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Maria Feekes - Kristi, what a tough question. I have no idea. You are right, such a tough balance between privacy, openness, freedom of choice for our children, and many other things. As a parent, I struggle with it as well. Your care and love for Tucker will guide you. Deep inside, you will know what is the best. You are courages, thoughtful, and amazing. Thanks for you!!!!July 31, 2014 – 2:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen Lauren Schneider Kehl - Good job being honest and true to yourself and BlogHer! I am proud of you for going, even though you had to go without me :-) LOL. But truly, I am happy you guys had such an amazing time together. And although your experience with that moderator was sucky, it was sucky because of her and not you. You are awesomeness, and the moderator is not. July 31, 2014 – 3:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Have to admit that I was super jealous of all those pictures of so many people I love having a great time together. :-) Sorry that speaker was such an awful person to you. She obviously know nothing about you at all. Hugs!
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Building CathedralsMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 4:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Lizza - I’m so sorry that happened to you. It sounds like the speaker didn’t really care that she didn’t know you and instead just made giant assumptions and acted like a jerk. I think a blog conference should be about support and knowledge not being shamed in a public forum and made to feel inadequate in some way. You are a fantastic mama! I’m glad you had fun with the other girls. I’m sorry I missed it. (getting to know you all would have been fun) You did a great job with this post and seriously nailed it with “What the fuckity fuck?”
    Jennifer Lizza recently posted…This Is MotherhoodMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 4:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Cheryl Nicholl - I think you wrote this with wisdom and strength and I think you should have written about it and I’m glad you did. Though I know it’s impossible for any conference to vet what will be said in the moment- they can and should do a better job of vetting the speakers platforms before they represent any advocacy. You should lead a discussion next year. I’m not kidding.
    Cheryl Nicholl recently posted…The Future of The Personal BlogMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Cheryl! I do believe that they should have done a much better job choosing the speakers. I’d love to lead a discussion but I don’t think I’m “big” enough. I’ve not even been blogging for two years and really don’t know what I’m doing so… but thank you!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Real Life Parenting - Wow … my heart rate was elevated just reading about that experience. (Total fucking bitch for the way she handled that. Seriously.) But, as I’ve come to expect, you completely Kristied that whole thing–which is to say that you took a challenge / disappointment / shitty situation and you found a way to turn it around so that it was a fist in the air, championing the good, making a difference moment.

    Don’t doubt yourself and what you’re doing with / for Tucker. YOU know him best and YOU know what’s right for him–and when. Just keep following your heart.

    <3 you!!
    Real Life Parenting recently posted…19 Reasons I Love Parenting TeensMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Pam - What a b*tch!!! If anything, she made herself look like an insensitive a-hole who clearly felt the need to belittle you in order to elevate herself and I would imagine a room full of bloggers/writers could have seen through her thin veneer immediately… Still, that sucks and you raise some important questions… particularly about protecting your child’s privacy that I think ALL bloggers (not just those dealing with the topic of special needs) should think twice about.

    If this happened to me, you know I’d have about a million amazing snappy comebacks. In my daydreams for the next three months, that is! Good for you for not revealing this person’s identity. No need to send any more traffic to her site!
    Pam recently posted…Workout Wednesday Vol. 2: How to Begin Running in Three Simple StepsMy ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Pam, I know what you mean about having a million snappy comebacks much too late. Isn’t that always the way? Sheesh. The thing is, that I didn’t really get to, is that I wanted to know HOW people had gone more anonymous from being so out there. Like how do I take Finding Ninee from being a bazillion photos of my most beautiful son to no photos? Or photos of the back of his head? Like well. Anyway. THANK YOU. I agree that it’s an issue all bloggers deal with. I’m not sure what the best answer is. It’s SUCH a different world than the one I grew up in, pre-cell-phone, photos had to be film-developed, etc.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 8:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Melanie Shebel - I think the woman’s response was way off of what you would expect in a moderator AND it’s none of her business how you raise your son.

    If I had a son with autism or ADHD, I personally wouldn’t want to publicize his name. (This is just me.) You can be an advocate for autism and be an advocate for the privacy of your child’s physical and emotional health. (Not that publicizing your child is bad, I just personally don’t agree with it.)

    Why should you potentially put your son into contact with people who could make a quick Google search for Tucker Smith (or Jones or whatever) and see that he’s autistic and use that information as a weapon? Autism isn’t who Tucker is and he shouldn’t be forever burdened by that label. Privacy is a big thing for me. Hell, I’m pissed that my mom told my boyfriend that when I was 10 I wrote a letter to my cat while I was away on vacation.

    “Grow a pair and publicize your minor son’s disability.” I’m paraphrasing here, but wow! Unbelievable, none of her business, and way out of bounds. I’d worry she’s exploiting her child for her platform. Nevertheless, I would totally complain to BlogHer.
    Melanie Shebel recently posted…How Does WordPress Make Money?My ProfileJuly 31, 2014 – 11:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Melanie,
      Thank you. I honestly wish I’d have considered the ramifications of so openly talking about Tucker when I started this blog. I don’t think I thought enough about what a blog IS, or Got It, or really even realized that people may one day read it. That was irresponsible and short-sighted of me, and the truth is that I want to know how to go from open and people loving following Tucker’s story, and moms feeling less alone to a place where I can be me while also protecting him. Which is a hard weird thing. The internet. It’s weird, too. Thank you so much for your kind and insightful comment!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - I’m so happy you enjoyed some aspects of the conference. I have been wondering where you’ve been. You’ve been missed. :) I hadn’t seen you on my TToT posts so I wondered if you were ok. So, about this lady…um, I’m very shocked that it sounds like advocacy comes before her own family. She sounds like a parent who is going to make big and become known from something that is going on with her child. I see this happen sometimes with child stars, but didn’t even think it could be the case in this type of situation with a blog! I think your concerns are extremely legitimate! There are plenty of people who think about this and their children are not considered special needs. If you are still self conscious about it at a certain point, I’m sure there are different ways you can still share without really taking pictures of him and maybe even changing the name you use. I see some parents do things like “Mr. T,” etc. I’m sure you will figure it out. I hope some moms who have taken to some of these more private approaches will give you some ideas since you couldn’t find the support from this lady at this conference. :(
    Brittnei recently posted…Thankful for One Year of BloggingMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 2:01 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Brittnei, I’ve actually planned to do TToT each week but well. Life and traveling and Tucker’s birthday trip and work. Yeah. Thank you for missing me though – and happy 1 year blog birthday to YOU!!
      I very much hope to figure it out. I’m not really sure what to do about it yet but have faith that the answer will come to me with some guidance and peace.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 3, 2014 – 12:11 amReplyCancel

  • Liz Ditz - I just finished up the post covering the Special Needs Mini-Con, in which you are quoted. It’s here

    http://lizditz.typepad.com/i_speak_of_dreams/2014/07/blogher14-birds-of-a-feather-mini-con-special-needs-1.html

    The post is rather long, because I wanted to be thorough.

    I note in your post above, you didn’t mention my response to what I heard you say. Of course, noting my response wouldn’t really fit in with your narrative.

    I don’t recall my response being terribly coherent, but the points I wanted to get across to you and to the rest of the audience were:

    1. How open you are may depend upon conditions at your child’s school and/or the district. I know that there are some blogging parents who have been retaliated against by their district.
    2. It’s possible to have varying levels of transparency, from password-protecting your blog to using pseudonyms to being completely transparent. Each family has to make that decision, based on their particular circumstances.
    3. Perhaps it’s better for the child’s classmates and teachers to get to know the child as he is today, rather than what he was like several years ago. Maybe those people don’t need to know what he’s overcome, right away.

    The post also has links to the previous BlogHer sessions focused on special needs, with fairly complete reporting of what was covered. I noticed in compiling those lists, your questions had been addressed several times over the years. You may find value in benefiting from others’ experience.
    August 1, 2014 – 2:04 amReplyCancel

  • Enedina St Sebastian - You know I also write anonymously and I am absolutely furious for you. I think it’s very responsible of you to question things like protecting your sons privacy. No matter what you choose it means some pros and cons for you and your family. You are beholden to no ones agenda, and that was the perfect time and place to have an open and educated discussion. When you submit your complaint to blogher you should include this post. Good luck to you. Maybe you could set up a facebook/Twitter party to discuss this super important topic.August 1, 2014 – 2:29 amReplyCancel

  • April Grant - Privacy is a hard thing to gauge, even without any developmental issues. Some people lay it all on the table, others are anonymous themselves and I’m somewhat in between, no uses of real names with their pictures. The complexity spans wide. Sorry you couldn’t get any guidance. She sounds terrible. I hope the goodness made up for the rest.August 1, 2014 – 5:55 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - Kristi – there’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said here. I am angry for you for the way she spoke to you and handled that situation. What a terrible way to speak to anyone, let alone someone opening an honest and necessary line of discussion that she was (supposedly) there to support.

    I’ll be interested to see the response to this amazing post and what you decide to do with/about your privacy concerns. Sounds like the rest of the conference was well worth the travel time, except, of course, McDonalds. My family gave up fast food 3 years ago – I wouldn’t have been able to eat it! Everything else though – totally made me want to be there!! Glad you got to be there and congrats on the VOTY!August 1, 2014 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks - Wow. Ok. A. I’m super jealous Jenny is following you on twitter. I’m going to try to find a dead animal to mail her in hopes she’ll talk to me online some day. B. It’s probably best you didn’t mention the asshat or their blog because I’d probably troll it and so would half the people here. I still am dying to know so I don’t mistake the person for a real human being later. C. You are in the right. I don’t know if mental retardation is an issue with the blogger in question (yeah that’s right, I suspect it), but how do you tell someone to communicate something with a kid they know can’t communicate well yet? That’s like saying, “Michelle, you need to have a talk with your mother in law who doesn’t speak good English yet about her drinking problem.” Yeah, like that will end well. I mean. You’re just right, and it should be painstakingly obvious. D. I lost track of what letter I’m on. E. My advice is at some point, you are probably going to have to keep your blog secret from his friends. Even if you replaced his name with a fake name and didn’t show pictures, middle school kids will know it’s about him. I still think you should advocate special needs, and one way to really cloak who the blog is about would be to get licensed to work with special needs in some way, so then your blog is job related and not family. I don’t know. I just know middle school kids are very mean when it comes to special needs. My nephew on the spectrum is 13, and he homeschooled for the last year because of the bullying. He was sick of being called retarded for his hour in the autism room, and he was sick of girls kicking him in the balls and then telling everyone he hit her. He just couldn’t hang socially at all, and being labeled autism sure as hell didn’t help. None of his friends know I blog, let alone about him sometimes. But I also mention my daughter a lot, and like you, I’m not sure where to draw the line with putting her name and face next to a word like autism. Right now it’s fine, but what happens on the internet actually stays on the internet, forever. It’s really a tough question, and one that really could be pursued for a very long time.
    Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks recently posted…Internet Debates: Cheap Tactics People VomitMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 10:58 amReplyCancel

    • Michelle Again - I should clarify… I KNOW your kid is going into Kindergarten next year and not middle school, but we really are looking at middle school years for the privacy thing to really be an issue. At some point, your kid is going to out-grow the other kids in maturity and be able to handle being known as autistic, but until you get there… It helps to take baby steps to that much like learning language and communication. His social skills will be the next uphill battle after you tackle communication, and socially speaking, it doesn’t help to be labeled special needs. I wish kids weren’t so superficial, but they get just as superficial as adults around puberty. BUT on the other hand, even with the label, if you can get by without public meltdowns or any strange behaviors that isn’t too taxing to the human tolerance levels, you might be ok on a social level. And something like this blog, something that contributes to the better good of society, might be helpful to him in that case. People are always attracted to people with passion. You never know. He may grow older with a passion to advocate special needs just like his mother, and if that happens…
      Michelle Again recently posted…Internet Debates: Cheap Tactics People VomitMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 11:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michelle. A. You are fucking awesome. B. Jenny will so follow you if you mail her a dead animal. Perhaps, even if you just tweet about one, because I just tweeted and said she was awesome at BHer. She’s likely to unfollow me once she realizes how lame I am. C. UGH to communication when it doesn’t make sense and fuck, to a talk about drinking with a mother in law who doesn’t speak your language – hope that was hypothetical but if not please blog it. D. I forgot the letter too and E. Middle Schoolers suck and I agree. Just not sure how to do it right now – like how do I go from this to that and have not everybody leave (how’s that for some good English grammar sister?) Next I’m gonna say “your awesome” BUT FUCK. No. I can’t ever do that because ick. Am I on F yet???? Thanks, you. <3
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 3, 2014 – 12:18 amReplyCancel

  • Quirky Chrissy - That’s horrifying!

    I think that a lot of people were disappointed in the lack of professionalism from several panelists, but this DEFINITELY takes the cake.

    I think you asked an incredibly valid and relevant question, and I would love to hear how other people respond. Personally, I think you can still be an advocate without putting, as you said, “his face on a public website, with the word Autism next to it.”

    You do what you need to do…and let’s hope that next year, the speakers and panelists are more professional!
    Quirky Chrissy recently posted…Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy Movie Review AKA That One Time I Saw a Movie Brian Wanted to See Before HimMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 11:06 amReplyCancel

  • Ashley - Oh no she dittn’t! I don’t know who she is but I want to knee her in her privates. I’m sorry you had to experience that. I just don’t understand people who are so ego-inflated that they would dare criticize or chastise another mother. I don’t get it. But I loved your last line, and I hope you are able to put it behind you and know that it had NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with her.
    Ashley recently posted…Cirque du Today: Losing My ReligionMy ProfileAugust 1, 2014 – 5:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Shannon Des Roches Rosa - Sincere apologies — shaming, or any kind of mandate, was not the message any of us intended, not at all. The message I personally wanted to convey to you in the session is in keeping with Adrienne’s comment elsewhere in this thread: there are no good answers, and we couldn’t give you one — because privacy is a personal decision. I did say that being open will help to make the world a more accepting place for our kids, and that *advocates* need thick skin — but I also said that no one should feel guilty or pressured into being that public person, or advocating through blogging, if that’s not what works for them, their child, or their family.

    Again, the intention was to answer your question with sincerity rather than malice or spite. But I am truly sorry that I let you down, and that you were disappointed by the session. You are right about the awesomeness of Jen Lee Reeves. And I hope you will read Kristina Chew’s site at We Go With Him so you can see how much she has to offer as a parent & role model.

    Congrats on the VOTY, and I’m glad you got to see your peeps IRL. That squee factor is the best part of the BlogHer conference, IMO. August 1, 2014 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristina Chew - Hello,
    I just wanted to say, it was very good to meet you at BlogHer, and wish you and yours all the best!
    Thank you, Kristina Chew
    August 2, 2014 – 12:50 amReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Steck - Thank you for the HONEST review, Kristi. I know it’s easy to just add fluffy stuff on these events. I’m sorry for the pain and anger the presenter caused. How insensitive and ignorant can some people be? I’m sure other people in attendance were just as hurt and maybe things will improve because you are willing to step up. I love reading your blog because I know I’ll get the real story. We didn’t get a chance to spend much time together in Baltimore, but I’m hoping we’ll meet again. :)
    Jennifer Steck recently posted…Ebola and My Trip to AfricaMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 9:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Jennifer. I’m really hoping we’ll meet again, too, because you’re awesome. And yeah, it was too bad that the session couldn’t have been more productive when it comes to the important discussions, such as gradually going more anonymous with a blog. Sigh.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 3, 2014 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

  • Ellen Seidman - As someone who adores BlogHer and all the people involved here, for one reason or another, I am so bummed to read this. Actually, more like, I feel sick to my stomach. I have admired you online and so wish I could have been there to meet you in person. I have known Shannon and Jen Lee for years, IRL too. And Kristina. We are all active voices. We all blog with shared goals: To help people better understand out kids. To get people to respect our kids. To make the world more welcoming of our kids, and the adults they will someday be.

    Both you and Shannon share another thing in common, as do many of us: You are both very passionate and outspoken about what each of you have to say. In the process, in our extreme passion, there can be unintentional disrespect given and taken. At times, my passion for my message has ticked off other parents. Even as I write this, I am typing oh-so-gingerly.

    Next year, it would be great for one of the topics at the mini-con to be about divisions within the community. And by community I mean parents of kids with autism, CP, Down syndrome and other special needs, because we face similar challenges. I think there should be a moderator on hand to guide the panel (for this session and ANY session involving multiple speakers). Speakers like to speak…and speak some more! A panel moderator helps keep things moving along. That’s happened in previous years, and would be good to reinstate. Most of all, without sounding too Pollyanna, I hope we can all move on. xoAugust 2, 2014 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ellen,
      Thank you so much for your comment. As you know, I’m a huge admirer of yours and think that you’re doing amazing things when it comes to raising awareness and acceptance for all of our children. Making the world more welcoming is most definitely the ultimate goal.
      Shannon has now read this, commented, and apologized, saying that she should have asked more questions. I do appreciate that and certainly am willing to give her (and everybody) the benefit of the doubt when it comes to misspeaking or having things come out in a way that is not what we intended. I was not familiar with who she was until the panel so cannot fairly have an opinion about any advocacy or work that she does online but appreciate your insight that we’re all working to the common goal.
      I also agree that a moderated speaker panel would be helpful – and allow the discussions to flow more easily and helpfully, and LOVE your idea about having a sessions be about divisions within the community. I hope that you will lead it, and I most definitely will plan to attend. I REALLY wish I’d gotten to meet you because well, you’re AWESOME. Hopefully, next year!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 3, 2014 – 11:33 amReplyCancel

  • Debra Jenkins - Kristi, I was in the headline writing workshop with you and immediately subscribed to your blog when the workshop ended. I’m now a huge fan! I was in the mini-con too and was shamed myself by Shannon Des Roches Rosa at the beginning of the session, when she asked for self-advocates to raise their hands, then for parents to raise their hands. My friend and I were the only 2 people who had not raised our hands so she asked us “Are you in the wrong room?” No, I explained, I’ve founded a program of arts education for people with special needs and blog about the life lessons I’ve learned from them.” She said “Oh, so you’re a professional then” and I said, “Not exactly…I’m a volunteer who stumbled into this world and have been profoundly…” at which point she cut me off and said, “I think you’re in the wrong room.” I was underwhelmed with her speech the first night, when she told us how uncomfortable she is speaking in front of people. And she started off the mini-con panel by telling us the same thing…why the hell do you agree to speak in front of people if you suck at it so much? I was not expecting the session to consist of 3 panelists telling us their life stories but that’s all we got. Your privacy question was very relevant to me because my 22-year-old son is in recovery from drug addiction and I’ve found many parallels between our journey and the journey of families of people with special needs so I write about those similarities sometimes. My son is old enough to grant his permission for me to write about him but sometimes, when a post about him gets 10,000 views in a couple of hours, he’s a little freaked out. I sat through the session feeling like I didn’t belong and should leave, because of her comment to me and thought that everyone in the room was being stand-offish to me because I shouldn’t have been there. Now that I’ve read through this thread, I know that the negative atmosphere in the room was because the panelists were ill-prepared and unqualified to lead a group of intelligent women in an open discussion about issues that are important to us and our work as advocates for people with special needs. I may not be a parent, but I volunteer my life to serve over 500 children and adults with special needs in the program I created yet I left that session feeling like an asshole who just creeped in on a private party I wasn’t invited to. Thank you for showing me that I’m not the one who acted like an asshole – the panelists are.August 2, 2014 – 3:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Debra,
      I definitely remember you and think the work you’re doing for the special needs community is admirable and fabulous. I’m so sorry your experience in the mini-con was crappy as well. Such a bummer because it really did have potential to be amazingly fabulous and productive. Please know that I do not think you’re an asshole – in fact, I think the complete opposite and love your work.
      From what I understand, most of the attendees in that session left it feeling disappointed. Ellen (Love that Max) mentioned that last year, there was a moderator for the speakers who kept things moving along, and I think that approach would work much better. I hope that BlogHer will listen to people’s feedback and do something better and more organized for next year. Also, I’m not sure whether you saw it, but in the Facebook comments (up top), Shannon apologized to both of us. I appreciate that – I’m sure reading this and everybody’s comments was upsetting (and hopefully eye-opening) to her.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…A Review of BlogHer14: The Magic and the DisappointmentMy ProfileAugust 3, 2014 – 12:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Chloe Jeffreys - I had a lovely time getting to know you, Kristi. I am sad beyond words that you ended up feeling shamed and angry.

    Years ago I wrote a lot about my kids. Some of that I now regret. I did my best to tell my story, but my story intersected with theirs. Where did/does their story start and my story end? I simply don’t know. I think in 20 years we’ll have a bunch of kids who were blogged about, and they’ll be able to tell us how that was for them. And like everything else, I’m guessing each child will have different feelings about whether it was positive or negative or didn’t affect them at all. In the meantime, moms wrestle with these difficult questions. I don’t think there are easy answers. You want to be there for the other mothers walking your path; you want to tell your story. But you also want to honor your son and protect his future All these things are admirable. But easy? No. I don’t think so.
    August 2, 2014 – 4:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily @ Words I Wheel By - I am SHOCKED by the insensitive response you received…except part of me actually isn’t that shocked, because some parents of kids with disabilities take things WAY too far on the Internet. (Not sure if you’re familiar with the NPR photo controversy with a photo of a 16 year old disabled young man in nothing but an undergarment, but this brings that to mind.) Thank you so much for considering the value of your son’s privacy, and please continue to do what you do!
    Emily @ Words I Wheel By recently posted…July Disability News and Blog Post Round-UpMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 9:05 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - LOooooVE the photo!
    Looooove that you were one of the VOICES)) of the year.
    DESPiiiiiiISE the so-called-expert on Autism.
    She’s a TOTAL ASSHOLE & should not be able to speak in PUBLIC.

    xx love from MN.
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Encounter With A Mythical GodMy ProfileAugust 2, 2014 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Ohhhh I was all happy and smiley to see your beautiful slideshow and all the faces of bloggers I know and read…and then that ending. Now I’m cross and grouchy and want to go and punch her for you because HOW VERY DARE SHE! What a total idiot. I’d like to defenestrate her. I hope she never speaks in an important position again until she figures out how to do it without being a complete douchecanoe!

    Thank goodness you’ve a sensible head on your shoulders. But gosh, the damage she could have done if you were a mom who wasn’t as certain as you are about the way you’re handling things. Good GRIEF!August 3, 2014 – 3:06 amReplyCancel

  • Shannon Des Roches Rosa - Further apologies – on mobile I cannot reply in-thread or even see Kristi’s & Debra’s full responses, and I don’t have non-mobile access at the moment.

    I really didn’t assume you had thin skin, Kristi; since I didn’t know you, I was speaking in generalities. But you’re right, I should have asked you more questions.

    And Debra, I can’t see your full response and apologize that my response to you was clunky as hell, but no matter your role or reason for attending, it is clear you were there with positive intentions and a wish to make a difference. Please know how much that is appreciated.

    I’ve learned a lot from these responses – all of us are always learning, yes? I will say that I was there without my usual advocacy partner/social translator, who understands that the positive intentions in my heart & the things that come out of my mouth don’t always match, who would have picked up on both Debra’s & Kristi’s body language in real time, would have interceded on both your behalf to ensure your questions were addressed to your satisfaction, and would have marched me over to both of you during open discussion and made me apologize IRL as needed too. Alas, she had a family obligation.

    Good luck to both of you on your respective journeys. If our paths cross again, and you’re not teetotalers, first round is on me.August 3, 2014 – 1:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Kristi, I have been waiting all week to sit down and read this post once I saw the title. Everyone looks so happy in the photos and it must have been really cool to meet so many people IRL! It makes me wish I could have been there. I do have to say though…that is one crazy tongue ya got there ;)!!
    I’m sorry that you had such a shitty experience with that moderator. She can’t possibly know anything about you if she had to suggest you grow a thicker skin and advocate. Jerk. Good for you for handling it well even though I know you had to have been fuming.
    You are really doing amazing things and you deserve every piece of recognition you get, my friend. Keep on keepin’ on!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…The Empty NestMy ProfileAugust 3, 2014 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana Stanfield Bayiates - You’re a fucking ROCK STAR. Cheers to you!August 5, 2014 – 3:02 amReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - What an interesting peek into a big blogging conference. For what it’s worth, I’m very careful about guarding my family’s privacy online. One day your kids will be adults, and as the parent of adult children, I can tell you that they will appreciate all you do to keep their lives private. Thanks for adding your post to the Different Dream Tuesday link share.August 7, 2014 – 8:09 pmReplyCancel

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