Finding Ninee » Sharing our special needs and autism story through heart and humor.

When I’m running errands, sorting through bills, or trying to remain present while playing with my son in grass and gravel, I wonder. I wonder about the what if’s and about the lives I am not living because I mostly live only this one. I wonder about the people I’ve walked away from, and about […]

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  • Allie - I wonder too – about all of it, for you and me. And damn, we kind of did it again, didn’t we? And how adorable it little tiny tucker:). ANd yes, find that mom. And call ME!April 23, 2015 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I believe that too, Kristi. I will hug my kids as they go to bed, and I hope that will make them smile. I know it will make me smile. I know you wonder if you are doing enough with Tucker…you are.
    Dana recently posted…Just one of the boysMy ProfileApril 23, 2015 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Jeannine Gallo - Hi Kristi.
    I believe I was meant to find your posts and follow your journey to help put things in perspective and to give hope.
    I believe that you are sharing difficult yet amazing experiences about Tucker’s beautiful life and helping so many others who can relate and may feel hopeless and lost.
    You are an AMAZING person and without knowing you, I feel blessed to be following you on this confusing, messy, enlightening, journey about our children finding their way. THANK YOU!April 23, 2015 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi, Jeannine,
      First, welcome and FIRST before welcome, thank you. I’m so so glad that you’ve found a place to feel less alone. I so hope that you know that by writing that you feel less alone, that I do as well. Here’s to being together and not feeling hopeless or lost – OR WHEN WE DO (because we will), having one another. Thank you so much for finding me. I’d love to hear more of your story, when you’re ready to share it, if you’d like. If not, that’s okay too because no judgement here and just hugs and mama love for those of us who need it sometimes and always. Because both are okay.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Wondering, The What If’s and A Little Boy Who Says His Mouth is BrokenMy ProfileApril 23, 2015 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I wonder about life after death too…I also want to believe in it. And the “what ifs” is something I spend time thinking about too. In fact, a little chunk of my memoir is devoted to the “what if” I had made that ‘left’ turn instead of the ‘right.’? Which then makes me wonder if I’ll ever actually publish that memoir…
    Emily recently posted…April 21st – A Birthday and an AnniversaryMy ProfileApril 23, 2015 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - I wonder if the wonderful world changing Kristi Campbell will ever realize how much she has already changed our world, her world and Tucker’s world through her writing and advocacy?

    Why would superwoman ever question her own powers? For us mere earthlings on here we are in awe of you and wish we just had a piece or even a little string from your super cape!April 24, 2015 – 12:06 amReplyCancel

  • Mimi - Kristi, this line: “I believe in Early Intervention, a mom’s intuition, and in the power of wishes and work and whimsy”could be my motto when it comes to my youngest child. I ran into his original speech therapist today, and every time I see her I just want to hug her because I believe without her early intervention, my son would not communicate with words in the same way he does now. We are still on our journey with his speech, but his road is all the smoother because of her.
    Thank you, Kristi, for helping this mom feel like someone out there gets it. I wonder what you would think about the tears and smiles you have brought me as I’ve read your posts and nodded along with every word you write. : )April 24, 2015 – 1:07 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Reading this made me feel so incredibly lucky to know you and to count you as a friend and very important person in my life. The things you wonder about, the things you believe, the honesty, kindness, compassion, goodness that you are… it’s all right here. Thank you. xoxo
    Nicki recently posted…Squeeze Those…My ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Aw, beautiful and I think as moms we just often wonder about so much and everything where our kids are concerned. At least, I know I totally do.April 24, 2015 – 2:31 amReplyCancel

  • Robin - I so feel what you feel, Kristi, so many of the “what ifs” and “am I doing enough?” and “do I have the strength”. It’s interesting, your question about whether it was easier when Tucker was younger and less aware. My son is 10 now, and there’s definitely this feeling, as they get a little older, when they start comparing. And start questioning And start wondering. Is it just me who is different? Is it just me who can’t sit still? Is it just me who gets anxious? Is it just me w/the food allergy and why? The question of “fairness” becomes evident to them, and there are so any things that just aren’t..it is so hard to know as a parent whether you are doing enough. Deep down we have to tell ourselves, we are… we are! A perfect version of you does exist, and that is you today. Now. The one with the not-so perfect sheets, and the dirt on her nails, has her priorities straight. Definitely! But more sleep–we mom’s need that, I’m working on that goal too!April 24, 2015 – 6:31 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Robin,
      Love this comment! Thank you! It’s true though, I think, that it does get harder as our kids learn about fairness and differences and just all of that… Tucker never seemed to be aware of his delays before and now seems to be hyper-aware. Or, maybe, he’s always been aware, and now has the language to express it. Either way – hard! The day he asked me what a weirdo was almost broke my heart…
      Here’s to being who we are and learning to accept that it’s enough and here’s to finding a way to get more sleep!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Wondering, The What If’s and A Little Boy Who Says His Mouth is BrokenMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Marisa - We all have the wonders and the doubt too doing the best we can sometimes isn’t good enough, sometimes it’s all we have…you’re a great mom.April 24, 2015 – 6:50 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Don’t wonder, know. Know that your love and your advocacy and your educating yourself will make sure that as Tucker becomes more “aware” he will not think of himself as broken but perfect Tucker. Because he is perfectly him, and that is what you are teaching him as you dig in the dirt to find worms (ew) as you work within the school to get him the best education possible, you are not treating him any different than you would a “typical” son. Because he is typical, he’s yours and he is as unbroken as can be.
    Kerri recently posted…Um….wowMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 8:56 amReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - I so love all this. My children have struggles too and as mom you want them to believe anything is possible. xoxoApril 24, 2015 – 10:03 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - “I wonder whether I’m doing enough to help Tucker know that he has the power to change the world. I wonder how to help myself know the same.” <– so powerful. Because really, a lot of it affects us and takes belief on our part as well. I truly believe each person no matter what has an opportunity to change the world, and sometimes when we don't have the same advantages as others, it pushes even more so to compensate and do even more amazing things.
    Nina recently posted…I Don’t WANT to ‘Cherish Every Moment': What I Won’t Miss about ParenthoodMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Beautiful post Kristi. I hope you can find that mom or she at least finds you. I can’t imagine the despair of someone to say “I give up” in regards to their child.

    LOVE the, “Where’s Tucker?” video.April 24, 2015 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Lovely. All those important questions we ask ourselves so beautifully stated.
    Elizabeth recently posted…THE POWER SUITMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

  • K - What a gorgeous post. Praying that that mom finds her way to you and your words somehow…your blog has made such a profound difference in the lives of so many.

    And I teared up a bit at the part about your son telling you that his mouth is broken. I hope someday he realizes that no part of him is broken at all, regardless of whether he can articulate all of his sounds. I remember when I realized that my disability was a Forever Thing and it’s a hard thing to stomach. Sometimes I still feel broken — sometimes we ALL do, right? — but our challenges shape us…if we let them, they make us . In the end, the L’s don’t really matter. The world is a better place because you and Tucker are in it, just the way you are.
    K recently posted…The Act of Staying UprightMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - K – I so always love your perspective and look forward to it so much! I so hope that he also realizes that he’s not broken – just a little bit different but, like you have said and know, it’s hard when you’re a little kid who realizes that you’re different. I can’t stand that part actually. I wish differences were just like hair color or something – each of us has gifts and struggles. You’re right – in the end, the L’s don’t matter… and thank you. The world is better because I know YOU <3
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Wondering, The What If’s and A Little Boy Who Says His Mouth is BrokenMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Words and actions are powerful things…but sometimes all it takes is a certain look, and that can speak volumes. I’ve wandered down that ‘ I wonder if…” road so many times and have finally come to accept that I’m right where I was intended to be. No other life I can imagine would be better than this, despite the bumpy ride.
    marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Fifteen Things No Parent Should Have to Say To Their Teen SonMy ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - I suspect the “what ifs” and “am I doing enoughs” persist through a lifetime despite any of the qualities of your children. Cuz it has to do with being a mom … not with being a kid. And take my word… it hasnt stopped yet and my kid has at least 20 years on yours. Just keep doing what your doing and hold on tight… its working. THat boy of yours is gonna fly even higher than he already does now!
    ivy recently posted…10 Reasons Why the SBOR/BOSR* May Be More Important Than You ThinkMy ProfileApril 25, 2015 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - What Ivy said. I just do the best I can, knowing that I will make mistakes, and hope that God will make everything right in the end.
    Kristi recently posted…A to Z of Thankful Me: VMy ProfileApril 25, 2015 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That video is of the cutest videos I’ve ever seen! Chock full of communication.
    Your afterlife paragraph chilled me. I know sometimes the deep thinkers/writers think deep/writerly things and wonder if anyone else thinks those things, but then realizes we all probably do.
    My afterlife thoughts are ones I wonder if I’m alone in. I couldn’t possibly be!
    Tamara recently posted…Who Was My First Crush?My ProfileApril 26, 2015 – 4:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - I so agree that communication often occurs without a single word!!
    I think there is an afterlife – this is something that my 16 year old has been talking about a lot lately.
    Kim recently posted…Some Days You Have to LaughMy ProfileApril 26, 2015 – 7:58 pmReplyCancel

On the last day of normal, my husband took a photo of my swollen belly, just before we went to dinner. We ordered extravagantly from the chichi menu at our non-kid-friendly favorite restaurant. “Can you believe that tomorrow, at this time, we’ll have a baby?” I said. “Let’s keep us,” he said. And I agreed. But […]

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  • Nicki - Sigh. I can’t get enough of this. I’ve read it over and over… then and now again. Such a beautiful, calming perspective. I feel like I can breathe for the first time today after reading this. “The first day of the world was today.” Thank you darling Kristi.
    And how wonderful it is to host FTSF with you and Jena. Love and gratitude. xxx
    Nicki recently posted…One Shoe OffMy ProfileApril 16, 2015 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I totally get the first and last days of the world situations — we’ve had a few of those and they can be both really, really good and really, really bad. Either way, it’s like you said: the last day of the world is often the first. Yes, so true! And your pictures above? Always a treat, especially the one with the thought bubbles. :)
    Emily recently posted…I Once Won An Award For…(Hint: A horse bite was involved)My ProfileApril 16, 2015 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I have just recently started thinking of lasts as firsts – do you think that comes with age? How breathtaking to follow you on this journey of your life that you tell with your words.
    Dana recently posted…The endMy ProfileApril 16, 2015 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dana,
      I dunno if it comes from age but probably. When we’re young, it’s so easy to just focus on the next first, or on the heartbreaking ending of what’s last that is hard to remember later… or something like that.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - OK, Robert’s mole. Never knew that, and though it seems entirely beside the point, could the timing have been worse? Good that it’s fixed. Enough for now.
    Yeah. Birth is the end of one world. A familiar and easier one but not one I’d want back either.
    Sarah recently posted…FTSF: On My Last DayMy ProfileApril 16, 2015 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sarah,
      Yeah, the timing was horrible. It’s okay enough for now… which is enough, for now. Isn’t it weird how having a baby changes us so much? I guess it’s not weird – it’s how It Should Be but still… the things we think we’ll be like…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • La Dale - Ugh, this got me thinking so much about how Johanna’s birth was the end of so many things for me, including my mother’s life, but the beginning of Christ pouring down his grace into my life. And then there were tears. Darn you lady for making me sob! Great post!April 16, 2015 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry for the tears, La Dale! But it’s true right? I mean the new beginnings are so much more blessed than the last days. The last days should be loved and appreciated too, but the new ones? Are now! :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks - I too have had many last days of one world before beginning another, and all 3 of my girls coming into this world was one of those days. Great post. So glad you were able to notice your husband’s mole. You probably saved his life.
    Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks recently posted…Readiness Tips for Apocalypse PreparationMy ProfileApril 16, 2015 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michelle,
      Thanks! I know about the last days – you’ve had a lot. I’ve had a lot. I guess we all have and yeah, I’m really really REALLY glad I noticed his mole, too. Even if the timing kinda sucked.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Jena - I am so lucky to be here with you. On the last day, and the first. You inspire me so.April 16, 2015 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • April G - Beautiful. So touching. I’m still not sure which way I’ll take this prompt. I can definitely agree that the birth of my son really changed my life and the last day of my old life was gone and now my life is anew.
    April G recently posted…CrossFit vs Other Gyms: Welcome and ChildcareMy ProfileApril 16, 2015 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • ruchira - Wow! just plain wow!
    I so absolutely loved your take on this prompt.

    So beautiful and so apt and so everything!

    xoxoApril 16, 2015 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - You always manage to express what I feel. Spot on, my friend. I like to look at life this way. ..every end is also a beginning. I have found that to be true over and over many times.April 17, 2015 – 1:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that we feel the same feels, Lisa! We MUST meet up at Dutch Wonderland this summer! And yeah, I like to remember that each ending is a beginning as well. It makes them easier and more beautiful, I think.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I read this shaking my head and getting this so very much. Seriously, it was most definitely the first day of my world when I had both my girls. And the guilt on days when they are off or out early is so real,but also starting to see more and more worthy of me walking away from work to just enjoy being in the moment.April 17, 2015 – 2:05 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - “And that because it’s the last, it’s also the first.” That is just the very best way to look at all of this exhausting, hilarious, inspiring, mixed up chaotic craziness that we call life. As for your prayer – well, damn. May it be eons and eons before it comes true. When you’re ready. And on your terms.April 17, 2015 – 2:08 amReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - You really got me with this one Kristi. I so relate to that feeling on so many levels. Just beautiful!April 17, 2015 – 2:19 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica Herndon Worgul - Powerful and beautiful. Also, I love the pictures of your family!April 17, 2015 – 3:45 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - It’s already taken back. These things don’t get held against you – it’s gone. Done. Finished and dealt with. That’s kinda the point.April 17, 2015 – 6:09 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Those words!!! The last day of the world is often the first. Wow. This was so beautiful. I wish I had thought of such a way to finish the sentence. Smh at the awesomeness of this post and the meme. Love it.

    Btw we’ve talked about this before about how we think unrationale and the worst of things might happen, so I totally felt for you when Robert had his surgery. I know you were thinking way beyond necessary. ;-)April 17, 2015 – 6:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya! Still time to link up, my friend! And um what is smh??? Gawd, I’m a moron when it comes to that stuff. You, however are fleek (on fleek??). It’s true though right? I mean the last day stuff? And I know what you mean about thinking about the worst of things and thank you for getting where I went with the dumb thoughts… yup. Exactly.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - This is just absolutely gorgeous. There’s so many things in life that can completely change the course of things, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It may feel like the end of your world, but it can also mean the beginning of a new and different life. Beautiful take on the prompt!
    Bev recently posted…The secret of the starMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 7:14 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi! How adorable are you with the big ole belly?!?!?! And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of your husband? So handsome. And, as always, beautiful words. Succinct and eloquent – and inspiring. I kind of needed them today. Today is the first day off crazy season, and I shall change my attitude and be grateful for the chaos. Now I’m off to the special Olympics, in the rain. And I will not curse the powers that be, as the rain pelts down on me, for not cancelling. Should be interesting – according to B’s teacher, everyone is complaining that B shouldn’t be able to rub the 50 yard dash this year, because he’s now a professional!April 17, 2015 – 8:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie! Are you kidding that people are saying Bear can’t run because he’s now a “professional???” People are so weird (and mean and stupid) sometimes. Argh! Sorry about the rain though. It’s not fun any time you have to be out in it unless it’s on purpose (like if you’re drinking wine and decide to dance in it which I only maybe did once in NYC with my friend and it wasn’t dancing, it was running in Central Park)… You’ve never seen a pic of Robert? Wow. He is handsome. :) And thank you!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom - Another moving post. I related most to your husband’s cancer. I just had a wide local excision to have an evolving mole removed. As I went to the doctor’s appts and outpatient surgery and then recuperated, I could only laugh every time I remembered what one doctor told me. “You will not die from melanoma now,” he said. “Because you will find it early.” Double edged sword, that.
    Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…I Mustache You Some QuestionsMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Thanks for this post. It makes me use my brain in unaccustomed ways. I agree that endings can be beginnings, and that is how life progresses. I’m not sure about your momentary conversation with God. I don’t think that we can trade away our lives like that. Each of us has the power to be a blessing to the world, and owe it to ourselves and our families to explore and realize our potential. You are certainly growing and inspiring!April 17, 2015 – 1:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - No worries about that prayer, sweet friend. It is already gone, with your first breath of hope. I’ve had that same prayer many times…

    Every end of the world can take us to new heights of living really. Funny how that happens- from the deepest depths to the greatest heights. I’m so glad your hubs is okay. And You found grace and giving in Kindergarten. And that Tucker is growing up beautifully, just as he is. And for second chances… oh there are so many of them that feel like the first day of the world. Thank God for them.
    Chris Carter recently posted…Teachers…They Are InvaluableMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris! You’ve had that same prayer???? Thank you!!! For real???
      And yes, from the deepest depths to the greatest heights. I love that expression. I’m glad that Robert is okay too and that we did find grace in kindergarten. I wasn’t sure that’d be the case, but it’s been wonderful. Thank God for all of the first days. And you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Love the pictures so much! And “the last day of the world is often the first” is an amazing statement, full of all kinds of layers and interesting ways it can be applied to life. Love it!
    Elizabeth recently posted…AND THEN THERE WAS DANCINGMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 4:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - You never cease to amaze me with what you write from these “finish the sentence” prompts. This is another example of one of your thought-provoking, beautifully written, poignant posts. I hope that from now on, every day will feel like a new world, filled with love and so much happiness!
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Fly On The Wall In A Zany HouseholdMy ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Beautiful, Kristi! Interesting to think that each and every day could be the last day of something AND the first day of something else – maybe something better. And, that. sometimes, what we think is the end of the world really isn’t – just the beginning of a new one. I don’t talk much about religion, but your line about taking back that prayer got to me. The God I believe in doesn’t do “take backs” because he doesn’t have to. When you prayed that prayer, he knew what was in your future – he knew about Tucker and what a strong, beautiful mama you would be. He knows now that you didn’t mean that prayer – or that you don’t mean it anymore. He hears the spoken and the unspoken. He knows. No need for take backs. Let that go, XOXO
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Resolution Report CardMy ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 9:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Lisa! I think it’s true – what feels like the end of the world, at the time, is so often the beginning of whatever’s coming next, but also can be scary and painful. Thank you too for your thoughts on prayers and “take backs” and how He doesn’t have to… I’m trying to let that go. It’s hard though, that I ever even thought it… but again, thank you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • alisa/icescreammama - love this. so touching. it’s all about the firsts and the lasts.. but there’s also a lot in the middle. :)April 18, 2015 – 9:16 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - Wow.
    I just read this with my breath held, as I often read your posts, and you made me feel so many things that I feel depleted of words. I think that this is such an incredible interpretation of the prompt and every word hit home. I believe the old prayer was forgotten or dismissed. My child prays for so many sily things as have I. Those we pray to understand. Giant hug to you.
    Katia recently posted…6 Things That Make Kids TV Shows Super AnnoyingMy ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 7:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - It seems like every stage of like brings us a new first day and another last day. Some of the first days bring great new adventures and some of them aren’t so good.
    I feel like I’m reaching a point in my mom journey where the lasts are coming too fast and the firsts are all about letting go.
    Kim recently posted…Words that AnnoyMy ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 8:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Ack, the mole!! So, so glad he DID go to the doctor.
    There was never an us to keep.. we were married and then I was pregnant. I don’t know an us really – we’ve been out of order and building it now.
    It’s kinda fun actually.
    Tamara recently posted…Are You An Old Soul?My ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, ack the mole. FKFUKFKKK. But yeah, so glad he went. You’ve had an us. I promise. It’s maybe just harder to isolate now that you’re so much a we, and that’s perfectly perfect, too, ya know?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 18, 2015 – 11:38 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - **If you know how to take back a prayer, meant at the time but not meant now, please tell me because it becoming true would be the end of this world, for me. And I’m not ready yet.**

    If I wasn’t married, I think I’d want to marry you…Um, your writing that is!!

    Xx
    from MN.
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Jesus & WordsMy ProfileApril 19, 2015 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Every day something new! This made me think of all the endings that were beginnings in my life too!
    I’m sure your prayer was canceled then and there because!!
    Roshni recently posted…The World between the WiresMy ProfileApril 19, 2015 – 2:51 amReplyCancel

  • Joy Christi - This is so beautiful, and so true. The only consistent thing in life is change, the end of That way, the start of This way. Not what we expected, but what we learn to live with. Then as we’re getting the hang of it, it changes again. But like you already know, there is beauty and perfection in all of it.
    Joy Christi recently posted…The Thing I Remember That Happened After “I Hammered A Cop”My ProfileApril 19, 2015 – 9:57 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - Oh this made me SO nostalgic! I loved it!
    Nina recently posted…Does Marriage Mean the End of Certain Friendships?My ProfileApril 19, 2015 – 12:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Seana Turner - What an eloquent post! We all have these firsts & lasts… over and over, don’t we? As for the prayer, no need to worry on that one. The Spirit intercedes for, so God knew what you felt at that moment, but also what you would feel in a future moment, and He’s not stuck in time:)
    Seana Turner recently posted…A Better DeskMy ProfileApril 20, 2015 – 12:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Eli@CoachDaddy - The beauty of this post is in the rawness of it. Beginnings and endings often meld together, and it’s hard to know which is toughest to manage – the beginnings or the ends.

    I know for a fact not all prayers are answered, and isn’t that a great thing? If all prayers were answered, I’d have married Kim Plato from Diff’rent Strokes when I was 9 and I’d never have had the three beautiful daughters I have today.

    Much love to you.
    Eli@CoachDaddy recently posted…A to Z Challenge: R is for RockiesMy ProfileApril 21, 2015 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks for putting it all into perspective, Eli. If my 12yo ones were answered, I’d have alimony and a few babies from Billy Idol now, and if my 19yo ones were, would be living with Lars from Metallica. Here’s to your beautiful daughters and my amazing little boy and to our unanswered prayers.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 21, 2015 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Tarana Khan - Kristi, this gave me goosebumps because I could feel your emotions seep through your words. Thanks for sharing your story, and never stop writing!
    Tarana Khan recently posted…On Coach Daddy: Parenting Lessons I Learned from DadMy ProfileApril 22, 2015 – 2:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb - You! You always write such amazing, inventive posts with Ftsf. I wish we could always realize the end of one world so we could savor the last moments the way you did at dinner. Perhaps that’s an argument for savoring every moment. HmmmmApril 22, 2015 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - And I’m going to say Fuck That too.
    God I love you to the moon and all the way back. I hope that you know that.
    I needed to read this. xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted…The Jeans Threw Me Down The StairsMy ProfileApril 22, 2015 – 4:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kim my sweets! The words Fuck That are just awesome. Freeing. And I love you huge – maybe even to Pluto which now I can’t remember if it’s still a star or it went back to planet or back to star from star to planet but it’s far away and I love you that much. xxoo
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Last Day Before Being a Mom, and ThenMy ProfileApril 23, 2015 – 7:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - This was SO beautiful Kristi! I seriously loved it. Great job articulating the fragile nature of this life, and being a parent. :)
    Meredith recently posted…Perfect Enough.My ProfileApril 24, 2015 – 7:27 pmReplyCancel

Some weeks, it’s hard to know what thankful is. It hides among the leaves and today’s between winter and not winter and too-cold mornings and too-hot afternoons. The too-cold mornings and the too-hot afternoons are annoying, but, between them, there is comfort and peace and the perfect temperature and the perfect blend between errands run, playing, doing, […]

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  • Dana - The video made me smile – which is tough to do at 6:45 in the morning! That is big. Congrats on the book – you’re going to have your own section in the bookstore soon! And I think you should move closer to me:)April 13, 2015 – 6:52 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww I love the video. He’s doing good! I know you were beaming on the inside! The cute bow. I know there’s a name for it but we’ll call it the cute bow. Happy house hunting. I LOVE looking at houses. Except for when I was nine weeks pregnant and we were looking for this one and seemingly everyone’s house smelled bad. This one had plug-ins all over the place and was vacant. I was able to smell past that ;-)
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…That moment when you’re trying to read…My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 6:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love the video too and he IS he IS doing so so good. Sigh. I was huge beaming. I don’t know that there’s a better word than cute bow so that’s official now.
      You were pg when house hunting??? ME TOO although I didn’t know it and was like 2 weeks but the smells and the thes?? OMG . Glad you found yours that had smelling past it with it!! LOL :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - So much here to comment on! Congratulations on getting into the book. I’m still kicking myself for not trying – but life always seems to get in my way…or I’m just lazy. I think this book is going to be awesome. I think it’ll help a lot of new moms.

    Yay for Tucker and Tae Kwon Do! My kids just started taking it in February – they love it. It’s already improved their lives – that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. They’re obeying more and being more respectful and they’re self-esteem seems to be higher too. They’re participating in ways they didn’t before. It’s expensive, but we’re seeing that it’s totally worth it. So excited for Tucker! And don’t you keep thinking they’re saying “ass-kick” all the time? Haha!

    Good luck on the house hunt. I quite enjoy looking for houses. Selling, not so much, but the hunt is fun. Are you looking in your same city or elsewhere?
    Kate Hall recently posted…So This Eagle Walks Into a Bar…My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 8:42 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well Duh you should come more often and stuff. I kicked myself for not trying for the last one so had to for this one and yeah.. I think it’ll help, too. And really about the TKD?? It’s seriously doing amazing things for Tucker, too!!! It’s SO expensive (we just paid for a year after a cheap trial month) but OMG really it’s amazing. It doesn’t sound ridiculous at all that it’s improved your kids’ lives – I completely believe that. Tucker has new respect and confidence that he didn’t have just a month ago!!
      HAHAH to “ass-kick!” You SWORE (sortof) :)
      I love looking for houses to but yeah, the selling? Sucks to hide a freaking hair dryer much less the cheetos and the mess…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - PS Same city. Town house now with crap back yard. I want a yard. And a stupid garden where I can grow stuff or something like it ;)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - OMG that is freaking incredible. Go Tucker!!!! I’m thinking that is a wicked milestone to be celebrated. Just like you, published author again. Congrats on the book, my friend. You so deserve it!
    Kerri recently posted…I struggle with autism awareness…a guest postMy ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 9:04 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I can’t stop smiling after seeing that video of Tucker and definitely something to be oh so very proud over. Huge congrats on being in the new book and on the new house possibly, tooApril 13, 2015 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - I love the video – he’s doing it. As for the L comment – :(. I cannot even imagine what that did to your heart, but please assure him that is not so! My youngest, almost 8 – still can’t say his “ch” sound. But we keep on trying. Finally, I didn’t know you were thinking of moving?!? Where? When? Why? Email me!April 13, 2015 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, the L comment has me broken a little bit although not HIM because he just rolls with it. Still, that he said that tears me apart. sigh.

      The house – here, we live in a town house bought in 2008 when it was the WORST time to buy. Now is a good time to buy so shopping for better backyards even though we put way too much into this remodel (walls torn down new kitchen and 4 new bathrooms) I hate moving but LOVE looking at houses… Let’s just talk on phone?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Video – awesome. Tucker – even more awesome. My middle dude did Tae Kwon Do for a few years. I love them in those white outfits – so cute, but I guess that’s not the point. Anyway, HUGE congrats on the anthology! I can’t wait to read your piece! And, we always house hunt – mostly online, but my husband (who is in real estate, although the commercial end) loves to look at houses. He says it relaxes him. :)
    Emily recently posted…I Once Won An Award For…(Hint: A horse bite was involved)My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 1:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Em and yes, Tucker – awesome. You and the three dudes – awesome. Also the point is a little bit at least the outfits because Tucker needs that to even go..
      You always house hunt??? I kinda love that about you even more. It’s really fun actually.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Oh, yay for Tucker!!! That video made me smile – he is awesome. Congrats to you on the book, too!!!
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Share Your Photo and Win!!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 4:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie Thomas - Tucker is a Ninja! FTW! I managed a TKD school for several years and with the right instructor a kid can thrive. I am convinced that it is the combination of focus, physical outlet, and an adult other than a parent expecting good behavior. Kids want to do their best and as long as the do jang is focused on teaching the students should do well. Congratulations on finding a good fir for the Tuck-Man!April 13, 2015 – 6:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - Love this – so awesome that Tucker enjoys TaeKwonDo and is learning all the kicks. I love the discipline that martial arts teaches any of us who are willing to learn!!
    And, it is always fun to look at houses!
    Kim recently posted…Living Without RegretsMy ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 7:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana Schwartz - Love this post Kristi for so any reasons! One for the opener which so aptly expresses how I’m feeling lately, two for the kickass (literally!) video of your awesome son, and three for your contribution in this incredible book, which I can’t wait to read because I feel it shares similarities to my own. Congrats!April 13, 2015 – 7:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Ivy - Betcha he can say L in Korean!THere are a million ways to say L! HOW AWESOME IS THAT FREAKING VIDEO???? He stayed on task and didnt stray even when the teacher had to! MY MAN!!!!
    Ivy recently posted…AN OPEN LETTER TO THOSE WHO KEPT ME FROM MY BREAKING POINTMy ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL what the eff is L in Korean and you’re probably right – I should mention that to him because duh confidence. He’s so your little man – I told him earlier this week that I hadn’t heard back from you and he asked about some random dude named Skip?? Who Dat? ;)
      (and for real, he did and how awesome is that)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

      • ivy - Go to google translate. Put in L ….choose korean and hit the little megaphone. I did it it works. HOOPLA skip makes his mark! Sorry I didn’t get back. Crap lately. ….gets me tired just thinking about it. Its stabilizing though.April 14, 2015 – 5:50 amReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - I’m so proud of Tucker. Tae Kwon Do can help with focus and confidence in a way that classroom experiences cannot. I am sure you are thrilled (and Tucker as well). Congrats on the book, I’m heading over to your link to read.April 13, 2015 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - (hey, I took martial arts… back in the day… he is getting it (the flexibility etc comes with time, in my case a very long time)… you can see the focus (even through a video camera frame)….

    congrats on the being in the (new) Anthology!! v cool, yo
    clark recently posted…K -the Wakefield Doctrine- Kýrie, eléison (…the blues, through the ages)My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Martial arts is awesome – my brother is a triple black belt. I think Sho De kawn (spell??), juditsu and um something else but whatever Tucker totally rocks. The flexibility is HARD right??? Thanks yo ;)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs, Tae Kwon Do, and A Book!My ProfileApril 13, 2015 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - LOVE LOVE LOVE that video. There’s all ten right there. GORGEOUS. Way to go him. I’m so glad you’re persevering with it in spite of not being sure, because it looks like Tucker’s LOVING it.

    Well done on the book. I think it sounds like a really important one and I know your experience and your writing will be wonderful contributions to it.April 13, 2015 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy - Awesome video! And Lord, woman, but you write like a dream. I love the intimacy of it. You’re amazing.
    Sandy recently posted…Interview With an IntrovertMy ProfileApril 14, 2015 – 7:59 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Well done to Tucker. And well done to you, getting an essay in the anthology. And, just for being you!
    Yvonne recently posted…Is Mental Health really a Priority for Politicians?My ProfileApril 14, 2015 – 9:01 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Congratulations on your essay being accepted, that is awesome! I hope Tucker continues to enjoy the martial arts!
    Elizabeth recently posted…ABOUT MELTDOWNS AND GREAT VIDEOS – ON PINTEREST THIS WEEKMy ProfileApril 14, 2015 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Ninja Tucker! That is so wonderful! I’ve been thinking of you lately and hoping the best for your step-daughter.April 14, 2015 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - You’re a ninja too. I wanted so badly to submit to that book but my story belonged elsewhere. Maybe next time I’ll find one within me.
    Kids are funny. Scarlet needs to take extra reading classes at school because she’s always daydreaming. She won’t eat her dinner because she’s always daydreaming.
    She’s me!
    We’re all ninjas.
    Tamara recently posted…How To Keep Your Cat Happy & Healthy.My ProfileApril 14, 2015 – 7:14 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - –What a blessing Tucker is.
    And God knew you’d be a KICK ASS Mommy, an advocate, and a voice for many.
    Also, Congrats on your essay!
    Yes, I do love the cover of that book! xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Jesus & WordsMy ProfileApril 15, 2015 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - Oh, how I love watching Tucker kick! He is SO obviously following directions and waiting patiently when the teacher talks to the other boys. Way to go, you darling boy!
    Dyanne @ I Want Backsies recently posted…N is for No Scrub Way to Clean BurnersMy ProfileApril 17, 2015 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Oh Kristi Rieger Campbell!!! Your ten things are truly in that video! GO TUCKER!April 17, 2015 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

When I think about being 14 years old, I think about the tacky, fluorescent beauty of the 80’s, about unreciprocated crushes, and about finding out that my mom was having an affair with my brother’s hockey coach. It’s funny how memories that happened so long ago can feel like yesterday and also like the fog […]

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  • Dana - That’s heavy stuff with your mom…I can’t imagine dealing with that now, much less at 14. But I know what you mean about life just beginning. We didn’t feel that way at 14, though. Or I didn’t. I felt like life hadn’t started yet, as I’m sure most teenagers do. And I wore electric blue mascara that was horribly awesome.April 9, 2015 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I wish I would do some of the carefree things I did as a tween before I was actually allowed to do stuff. I had a decent size room but I kept my record player in my closet which was a walk thru to the bathroom. I used to lay in the bottom of the closet and listen to music hours at a time. Fourteen was definitely not my best social year.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…The Secretary Has A StoryMy ProfileApril 9, 2015 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Fourteen I think was maybe nobody’s best social year?? I mean talk about awkward. Why the record player in the closet? More privacy?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Being 14 Years Old, The 80’s, and HindsightMy ProfileApril 9, 2015 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - Well I do remember doodling on the wall there where no one could see. So listening to music. Writing poetry. And my first name with whoever’s last name I was in love with at the time.
        Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…The Secretary Has A StoryMy ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 7:28 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - OOH doodling on the wall? You naughty girl! :) Do you still have any of the poetry? You should use it in a blog post if you do. I love reading stuff that I wrote as a teenager – it’s so bad that it’s funny.
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Being 14 Years Old, The 80’s, and HindsightMy ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

          • Kenya G. Johnson - I do think I have everything on the actual typed paper. I think most of them are good, so I would be hurt if someone gave the comments section the silent treatment. LOL. I’ll most likely not share it.April 10, 2015 – 5:54 pm

  • Emily - I miss that feeling too, of life just beginning. In hindsight, it felt so much less stressful and yet, maybe it wasn’t. I know I was also a moody, emotional teenager who was always lamenting something and that in itself is also stressful. So, like you, I’m happy I’m not 14 anymore and yet it is fun to reflect on who we were…
    Emily recently posted…I Once Won An Award For…(Hint: A horse bite was involved)My ProfileApril 9, 2015 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - How weird is it that every time I hear Billy I think of you? Or that we were both freshman and 14 in 1985 entering the not so much hallmark years. Or that we both would not go back for one red cent but yet are happy we can now look at that hair and not puke in our mouths :)
    Kerri recently posted…GASP! I was 14 and scaredMy ProfileApril 9, 2015 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Yes, what was with that blue eyeshadow at 14? Oh my god. I wore it as well but only to dances. My sister plastered it on my eyes and I thought I was oh, so, cool. Nevermind I looked 10.
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Top Ten Tips For Surviving FourteenMy ProfileApril 9, 2015 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Omg, you so brought me back and like you I am seriously glad I am no longer 14 though my recent channel surfing experience with Joey Lawrence also as you know made me realize that age, in general, really isn’t just a number!April 10, 2015 – 1:58 amReplyCancel

  • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom - I’m writing about babysitting and Billy Idol today, too. Oh, and how I didn’t much like being 14 also! I feel much more comfortable in my 40s, but I do still think we probably carry around that awkward 14 year old inside us more than we think.
    Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…14 Things I Remember about Being 14My ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 8:12 amReplyCancel

  • Alliw - I wish we’d known each other when we where fifteen. “I didn’t yet know that truly living is much too vague of an idea to ever own,” how could we? I’m still trying to figure it out. And your conclusion, about an unplanned life unfolding as it should? Well, that’s genius!April 10, 2015 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Fourteen was a really awkward stage for me, too. But I do miss believing that ANYTHING was possible for my future and dreaming of all those wonderful possibilities is what kept the motivated to move forward.
    marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…The PuzzleMy ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 8:49 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - OMGOSH, I just wrote an essay about how much I LOATHED babysitting, on the other hand, Billy Idol ROCkS.

    I don’t know you….But I love you.

    xxxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…1770 Days Since My Sister’s MurderMy ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - 14 was rough for me – the only good thing about it is that was the year I started running cross country and track – something that I happened to be good at:)
    Kim recently posted…14 Fun Facts for Hunter’s 14th BirthdayMy ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 1:10 pmReplyCancel

  • A. J. Goode - I had forgotten about just laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, listening to music that seemed SO meaningful! I used to do that all the time, but with Elton John and Janis Ian (I think I’m a few years older than you!).

    I remember those same feelings of feeling like life was just about to begin–scary, exciting, and made so much more memorable by the blue eye make-up.April 10, 2015 – 1:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - 14 was such an awkward age. I got my haircut like Paul McCartney back when I was 14. To have an adolescent’s problems as an adult would be a piece of cake. So easy to look back and laugh, but it was such a time of turmoil.April 10, 2015 – 4:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Hey, but I am ALL ABOUT the high-waisted pants again. Just no pleats, please. Like the Z. Cavaricci’s I wore. Egads!
    Sarah recently posted…FTSF: When Big Hair and Big Mums Were ItMy ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 6:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I definitely miss that – feeling invincible and that life was still beginning. It was almost as fun as life actually.. happening. The prospect of it.
    Maybe it’s still beginning.
    When I was 14 I had a crush on a girl! That had never happened before that and has only vaguely happened since. Her best friend was a boy and I wanted him even more. But he wanted my best friend.
    So there was that.
    Tamara recently posted…Things That Make You Go Hmm..My ProfileApril 10, 2015 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana Schwartz - Kristi, this is lovely and it really brought me back :) I remember being so uncomfortable in my skin, feeling awkward and bony-limbed and flat chested (sorry bra) and anxious about boys. I hung out with a not awesome crowd when I was 14 and I remember sitting on porches with the oddball guy while our friends made out in the woods. Calling my dad to drive us home and hoping he didn’t notice my friends were drunk. Anyway, clearing the nostalgia is in high gear. Thanks for this blast into the past :) I too am happy not to be 14.April 10, 2015 – 11:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Risky Business!!! YES!!! I was all about Rocky, and Prince too… and I too, lived in broken cracks of the suburban life. I’m so glad I never have to go back to that year. It was one of the hardest years of my life. (That’s why I just couldn’t do this link up… :( ) Your pics are BRILLIANT. Oh, and the music… the power of music- wow. I forgot about that.April 11, 2015 – 1:49 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa Moskowitz Sadikman - This is so evocative Kristi – the scrunchies and lying on the floor absorbed in the music, how everything was so meaningful, so full of potential really. Oh, and that feeling of being invincible – yes! And just, FEELING everything. Then knowing you don’t want to go back to being 14 because “an unplanned life tends to unfold as it should.” Love it.April 11, 2015 – 3:02 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Ha! I loved Billy Idol, too, though being a little older than you, my vivid memories of that fluorescence comes from working at Disneyland – there were a lot of guests in bright orange and green with “Wham! U.K.” sweatshirts, lol! :-D
    Elizabeth recently posted…TAKING THE FURYMy ProfileApril 11, 2015 – 11:46 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Risky Business RayBans… this is my new favorite phrase. It encompasses EVERYTHING. I used to lie on the floor and listen to Forever Young by Alphaville… I feel nostalgic for that every day. But oh to the cracks in that RayBan perfection that prepared us for the cracks in life… the truest thing ever. L’chaim. Thank you for your beautiful words and self.
    Nicki recently posted…Acid Wash Jeans In Israel. Awkward.My ProfileApril 11, 2015 – 9:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh and congrats for being featured in another book!April 13, 2015 – 6:59 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Ah, yes! 14..or as I like to refer to it, the beginning of the end. It had it’s great moments but navigating that time in life can most definitely suck. It’s the hardest and as my youngest daughter gets closer to it the more I remember it. I don’t know if I will be able to impart my wisdom on to her and let her know it might be awful at times but those times will pass and things will get better…not always, but mostly. She’s a different kid than I was though. I’m totally taking credit for that ;).

    I miss the 80s too…all that neon. I think you and I would have been fast and furious friends, Kristi.
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Interview With an IntrovertMy ProfileApril 14, 2015 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

Today, on World Autism Awareness Day, I think about the progress that my little boy has made. While he does not have an official diagnosis of autism, he’s next to it – spectrumy – with speech and language challenges, sensory and OCD issues, and overall motor skills and motor planning delays. Honestly, just 12 months […]

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  • Emily - This is one of my favorite posts of yours and you SO SO SO deserved that award for it! I may have made this comment last time, but the way you are able to show us how T may be feeling or thinking is incredible and truly insightful. Thanks for sharing it again and most especially today – how perfectly appropriate!
    Emily recently posted…I Once Won An Award For…(Hint: A horse bite was involved)My ProfileApril 2, 2015 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - How did I miss this post before? It’s perfect, absolutely perfect. And, yes, you could definitely be describing what’s going in my head at times.
    Sarah recently posted…TToT70: Whoosh!My ProfileApril 2, 2015 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison carter - Yes, perfect.

    Perfect.April 2, 2015 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - OK now I am crying and you most definitely deserved an award for this and just so much more, KristiApril 3, 2015 – 2:03 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Oh Kristi. This is the first time I’ve read this and I am bowled over. But in a good way. T has such a wonderful advocate in you. There could be no better.April 3, 2015 – 6:47 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - That post is still so incredible, Kristi. It has been amazing watching Tucker grow and make fantastic strides. Thank you for sharing the hugeness of those moments with us. You are a fabulous mom and a beautiful human! Love you! XX
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Bleacher ReportMy ProfileApril 3, 2015 – 8:22 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Just like the first time, you took my breath away. And you so deserved the award for this. Even twelve years into out journey, I need this. I need the reminder. A reminder that yes, progress is made, but also, breaks are still needed. By mommy and son. Love this, you and your sweet, miraculous boy!April 3, 2015 – 8:31 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - I loved reading this from Tucker’s point of view!!! I think that lots of us could do well to remember to breath and recognize the mad before it takes over – at least I know I have had times when I failed this and needed some sort of system.
    Your son has so much joy and so much to teach all of us!!!
    Kim recently posted…De-stressing and a Giveaway!!My ProfileApril 3, 2015 – 12:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Loved this the first time I read it, still love it. Consider it shared my dear!
    Elizabeth recently posted…AUTISM AWARENESS DAY INTERVIEWMy ProfileApril 3, 2015 – 1:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Kristi, I loved that post the first time that I read, and I’m loving on it again. Tucker really has come so far, and I send out praise for your husband and you, who have stuck it out with that darling boy. Many, many kids with autism can get better over time. Not “cured” (whatever that means) necessarily, but better so that they can participate and find joy in the world around them. Thanks for keying into National Autism Day, as well. Raising awareness means a lot to our community!April 3, 2015 – 6:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I love this post – isn’t this the one you read at Blog U? I’m glad you are sharing it again. I feel lucky to be able to witness Tucker’s growth over the past few years, and I look forward to meeting him in person. Over the summer, maybe?
    Dana recently posted…A name tag and a uniformMy ProfileApril 4, 2015 – 12:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Dana,
      Yeah it’s the one I read at BlogU. And I’d LOVE to have Tucker meet you and your kids this summer and be able to meet them myself! (yours, I mean, obviously) Yes!
      Happy Passover, Friend!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Autism Awareness, Awards, and ProgressMy ProfileApril 4, 2015 – 4:05 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - CONGRATSSSSSSSS on the ***People’s Choice Award ***!!!!

    You. Deserve. It. Darling.

    …because your VOICE lifts & transforms & inspires. xxxxxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…1770 Days Since My Sister’s MurderMy ProfileApril 5, 2015 – 1:53 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Loved the post last summer and I love it now!
    And I’d like to meet Tucker this summer too!
    Happy Easter!
    Tamara recently posted…Over The Borderline.My ProfileApril 5, 2015 – 2:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - Love this (both times!) T-Man HAS come a long way! ….and really, I think we all need “A Break” sometimes. There are adults I’ve met who could use a “HANDS” reminder every now and again. ….and I’m reluctant to admit how frequently I’d like to hide under my chair (or desk) to regroup. Huge hugs to you & Tucker.April 6, 2015 – 6:06 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Kristi…I loved that post when I first read it and I love it today. You deserve that award 110 percent.

    Yesterday evening, I attended a talk given by a man who has Asperger’s (he wrote Look Me in the Eye) and he shared many similar sentiments…those feelings of being overwhelmed and frustrated and of playing in a world that was beyond the understanding of the other kids. He called it his world of “tigers and elephants,” and he said it took him until he was an adult to realize that his world, his tigers and elephants, were different than everyone else’s. Not worse…just different. His. Unique. :)

    Love this post. Love you.
    K recently posted…The Act of Staying UprightMy ProfileApril 7, 2015 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sweets! I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how almost end of year is going for you. I wish I’d attended the same talk – that sounds amazing. I so hope that it doesn’t take Tucker until he’s an adult but if it does, I think that’s maybe okay too. I mean, it takes being solo to have wings, right? And Huge love for you my sweet friend. Always.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Autism Awareness, Awards, and ProgressMy ProfileApril 7, 2015 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Stacey - >> My friend has a different game in his head than the game that I have in my head. My game, in my head, is better and why can’t he see that my game is more fun and that he’s ruining everything? <<

    Holy crap, this is so my son (who, like Tucker, is spectrumy but not enough to be on the spectrum; he instead has SPD). My Thomas has a lot of issues getting other kids to play with him. His teacher and I discussed it and she thinks it has to do with his speech (again, like Tucker, Thomas was a late speaker, lost the few words he said, has articulation issues, and possibly Apraxia) and that the other kids don't want to take the time to wait for my kid to spit his words out. I think it's more that he wants to play a certain game a certain way and he doesn't understand that other kids don't always like to do that. Either way, it's frustrating and saddening knowing my son struggles. He's doing better in the play area at school, but if we go to the park and there are other kids, 9 times out of 10 he either wants to go home or he plays by himself. :\ It sucks. He doesn't. He's awesome. Frustrating at times, but awesome. :)
    Stacey recently posted…Wednesday Witticisms: The Isaac Edition (#2)My ProfileApril 8, 2015 – 4:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow Stacey,
      Thank you so much for commenting. It’s always so heart-warming to realize that there are kids who are so so similar to Tucker when it comes to speech and who are spectrumy but not enough to actually be there. I really appreciate you taking the time to share and I love your last words. It sucks. He doesn’t. He’s awesome. YES!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Autism Awareness, Awards, and ProgressMy ProfileApril 9, 2015 – 11:15 amReplyCancel

At one point in my life, I strived to be the last to leave a party. Always, afraid I may miss something. Today though, or, at least last night, I was the first to leave, afraid to miss what was going on at home and afraid that missing it would equal unwelcome repercussions. My son’s hand […]

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  • Lizzi Rogers - Ohhhh it sounds like you have too many things going on at once, all vying for your attention. I’m so glad that these things get to matter, thanks to the work your husband (and others like him) does. I’m also glad that Tucker loves you so much and that you make such a positive difference for him. And I’m glad when you get to sleep in.

    I hope that Spring Break goes well. You’ll find things which make it wonderful. I hope you get all the doings done.March 30, 2015 – 5:56 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - HA AND FRIST! BOOM BABY!March 30, 2015 – 5:56 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh you have so much to be thankful for, my friend. I mean he WROTE BURP!!! You must be so proud and no I am not being sarcastic :) Okay a little because it is freaking hysterical. T
    Kerri recently posted…On learning to see the person firstMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 9:17 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Guilt? For what momma? You are awesome. And we are not going anywhere for spring break either, and I don’t even have a good reason! Want to hear all about LTYM show. The Atlanta one isn’t until May, but I plan to go.March 30, 2015 – 10:00 amReplyCancel

  • yvonne - I can relate to what you say about wanting to be there at bedtime because your son remembers at 3am if you aren’t. One of my daughters was like that for a long time too.
    What a cool drawing Tucker did and his writing is brilliant! LIke Kerri, I think you can be proud. My older daughter wrote several letters backwards at that age, so I do think he’s doing amazingly well.
    Hope you have a lovely spring break.
    yvonne recently posted…Gratitude, Attitude and a catMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 10:26 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - I remember times that it was hard to be gone at bedtime but also nice to get out and be around other adults without kids.
    I hope y’all have a fun spring break!! Sometimes the ones without plans are the best!!
    Kim recently posted…Mixing It Up Again (3/22 – 3/28)My ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I am so with you and when I do have to be out at bedtime for my girls, I truly feel such mom guilt and miss them so. And like you I also used to be one of the last to leave at a party, too. My how times change and kids seem to have that effect on us. Hugs and we also are heading to spring break at the end of this week, as well here.March 30, 2015 – 11:35 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I always used to strive to be the last to leave the party too…but now? I’m usually too tired to stay that late! As for spring break and NO PLANS, that’s us too. Big Dude doesn’t have break until next week and the other two dudes have it this week, so I’m pretty much screwed. :) Of course, with two teenagers who like to sleep and do nothing and one dude who will gladly play his xbox all day, I’m in the position of trying to make them do SOMETHING over this break!
    Emily recently posted…How I Became A Bucket-FillerMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily! I love that you used to be the last at a party and that you have no plans for spring break. It sucks that all of the dudes have different ones though – makes it harder to figure out whether to bother going somewhere or not. Ahhh to teenagers who sleep. That’s for real, right?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Being Thankful, Bed, Mothering, And GuiltMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 10:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Love the karate video. He’s trying and looks like he wants to get it. I feel guilty at moments when I hang with Christopher before bed sometimes because I am thinking ahead to when I’m not in there and sometimes I don’t hear what he’s saying. And sometimes it makes me so sleepy to hang with him for those last few minutes that I’m ready to go to bed myself. I wish I could stay up until the house was quiet but my husband can stay up forever watching tv then he wants me to watch too. Anyhoo – it’s natural – no need to feel guilty about be excited for time to yourself. But I feel you on wanting to be there at bedtime so you don’t have to answer a 3am call.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…I’m Vain…My ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 3:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
      He’s SO trying. He didn’t want to go tonight because the other kids know more. They’ve been doing it for longer and don’t have some of his constraints. I told him that if he went, we’d go to Chipolte afterwards and the whole way there, he was faking counting to 10 in Korean (you have to know how to get the white or yellow belt – not sure which).
      I get what you mean about feeling so sleepy in bed with the kiddo. That’s part of my problem. I feel guilty that I don’t just go to sleep when I want to but well, yeah. You know.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Being Thankful, Bed, Mothering, And GuiltMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - Yay for sunshine! We had a few rays of it coming through the dark clouds, casting this very eerie light. Love the “burp”- comment! Absolutely awesome!! And congrats to you for taking part in this project and enjoying the party. Off to bed for me now! Have a great week!
    Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly recently posted…Week In Review – Ten Things Of Thankful (93)My ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 4:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - He looks so cute! So glad you are simply enjoying your time with him. I love spending time with my son. :-)
    Elizabeth recently posted…TAKING MENTAL HEALTH DAYSMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 4:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Burp is a terrible thing about kindergarten! I agree.
    I have spring break plans for you. Drive to MA. I can’t promise you spring weather but we do special free photography sessions for extra cuties.
    Tamara recently posted…This Is My Constant.My ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie Christine Stoian - Mom guilt is so pervasive and awful. I don’t get to kiss my kids every night at bed and I’ve really struggled through it. You are such a good mom, and VERY hard on yourself. xoxMarch 30, 2015 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Ohmygosh, Tucker’s art is AMAZING!!! He’s doing such a great job! And the thumbs up from the TKD teacher? Way to go, Tucker!

    Yeah, I know about the trade-off of your own desires for some peace at night…or to sleep through the night!!! Sleep throughs seem to be pretty rare around here of late. Boo to that. Yay to you!
    Sarah recently posted…TToT70: Whoosh!My ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 7:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Clark Scottroger - …and the problem with ‘BURP’ is? Clearly we are entering the ‘fun with words for body functions’ stage! (which eventually will be replaced by the ‘fun of discovering swear words with your friends’).
    Hell, I’ll take a ‘not bad’ from pretty much anyone I encounter during daylight hours, never mind from an instructor in the world of martial arts! (having the done martial, I will attest to how much we (students) would value a ‘not bad’…)March 30, 2015 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - Not bad at all! AND wow! He is getting to be a good printer! Nice letters Tucker! Spring break… was always such a challenge to find stuff every day… I never understood those moms who prefer summer vacation to school…. I thought maybe they were stay at home moms and had more time… I like to fool myself that way!
    ivy recently posted…Do Moths Have KarmaMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 9:14 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - I’m thankful for several things.
    One, which is “You.”

    xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…10 Lies Abusers Will Tell YouMy ProfileMarch 30, 2015 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Deborah Lovel Bryner - Krist, I am thankful that my 26 year old autistic daughter was with me yesterday when we attended the funeral of a dear friend. I was surprised also because my Kate does NOT do funerals as a rule…she’s had to be present at too many in her young life. But this friend was someone she knew well from our church and he meant a lot to her…which also surprised me and is something else for which I am grateful. Grateful for those dear heart-friends who love my child almost as much as I do. Kate remembers those friends. I am also grateful that my daughter is back in school and thriving. School is hard for her, but she has a good program and I am grateful for that as well. I am grateful for the loving support of a church family who believe in me as a parent and my daughter as a person of intrinsic worth. I am grateful that I work at a university and have a flexible schedule so that when my daughter has a medical emergency, there is never a question of priorities. I am grateful that my boss is generous in his understanding of my complicated, crazy life, and that he is a good friend as well. I am thankful that my husband Paul is my ROCK and my anchor and supports me always. I am blessed. And I am grateful that I have encountered you, Kristi! Thanks for sharing your walk with your Superhero Tucker…March 31, 2015 – 6:24 pmReplyCancel

  • La Dale Reina Johnson - I’m off to write a thankful list. It was so good seeing you Saturday night!April 1, 2015 – 3:10 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Enjoy your spring break! Ours is next week and we’ve made these humongous long drive plans *shudder*
    Roshni recently posted…Nurturing styles as parents #1000SpeakMy ProfileApril 1, 2015 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Camille - My Kindergartener is getting better with her writing too, I’m so proud! Isn’t it amazing how much they learn in this first year of school?
    Camille recently posted…Wordless WednesdayMy ProfileApril 2, 2015 – 2:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Aw! I get those ‘leave early so you can get home to be with my kid’ desires and dare I say needs!? I *STILL* miss my kids so so much when I’m away from them, and hate to throw off their schedules or miss anything of theirs… especially the nighttime good nights. There’s just something really maternal about that…

    I do hope you managed to hang in there through spring break, at home and with work and busy hubs too!! We stayed home and did pretty much nothing but hang- played countless games of chess with the kids, watched them play volleyball outside one nice day, and Derek took them to see “Home” and out to lunch. Pretty low key week. I’m SO grateful my kids didn’t once even complain about not going anywhere or not doing anything special. Whew! I’m proud of them.April 5, 2015 – 3:40 amReplyCancel

  • A Morning Grouch - Thankful for spring break! And for finding you and some of my other fave bloggers. I’m not out and about in the blogosphere as much as I should (?) be – but you and so many others inspire me. BURP. lol. Loved that.April 9, 2015 – 1:51 amReplyCancel

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