Ninee (def: airplane, in TuckTalk). Dedicated to finding humor, support and resources for my son with developmental delays of “The Middle World,” one where the spectrum exists, but an autism diagnosis does not.
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 Hi friends, It’s (really late) Sunday night. Isn’t it strange how that happens? It’s like all of a sudden BAM it’s Sunday and another week’s passed in the ever more escalating aging-I’m-growing-more-wrinkles-by-the-minute process and holyshit I have an undone to-do list. Oh…this doesn’t happen to you? (Liar.) Anyway, here’s a quick recap from this week….
     When I was younger, I engaged my coworkers. I cared about what they said, I went to happy hour with them, and genuinely gave a shit and wanted to be friends both inside and outside of the workplace. Not so much anymore. Which meant that I missed a chance to bring Our Land closer to…
I’m terrible at making small talk with people, so I feel your pain. What comes out of my mouth is often ridiculous and my thoughts really closely resemble what you drew over your head. I’ve had the outright questions from many people: Is your son autistic? Is he on the spectrum? All I can do is respond with a qualified “Um, maybe, we always have thought that. He IS ADD though.” Which people never get, because no one seems to understand that ADD is NOT the same as ADHD. “Oh he seems so calm…” Yes he’s not climbing the ceiling because he DOESN’T HAVE ADHD. Thank you for sharing this story my dear. Love the pictures, as always… 
I so used to care what people thought at work too before having kids and could so relate to that, too Kristi. And I think this conversation would have so made me feel uncomfortable with this person you described (and drew so perfectly, too). So, don’t be too hard on yourself for that and do think you are doing the best job as Tucker’s mom and protecting from the likes of some of your co-workers who wouldn’t understand and possibly even be a bit critical of him. Not saying everyone would, but possible some might now be as understanding and might even make you feel more uncomfortable then it is worth (just human nature I suppose). Didn’t say it was right by any means, but unfortunately not all are as educated. Thank you seriously so very much for linking this up with us. 
Sadder Sarah,
Janine, 
Oh dumb ass….you are not a dumb ass at all. I think it is hard because work is the one place you are not Tucker’s therapist, doctor, mom. At work you are just Kristi. I don’t have this issue at work, they probably feel I am TOO out there with Boo and my sharing. But I worked here before Boo. You know, I hope, that we do not always have to be the advocate.
Kerri, 
First of all, it’s you that is awesome and I want to write something for your series. I am SO glad you decided to go this direction with your post and for the most selfish reasons too. It made me feel so much better about reacting EXACTLY the same way had this happened to me. Sorry, I know that this is not very Our Land either. I completely identify with the whole thought process at first of how to present this to douchy coworker then your answers which seemed so inadequate to you, but actually show that you put other people’s feelings and comfort first, this was all painfully recognizable. This is such a great post, it is difficult to talk about autism and with your brilliant cartoons you make it a much lighter conversation and manage to educate your readers about life with Tucker. 
Can I laugh that this was your FTSF post?May 17, 2013 – 1:39 pm
Kenya,
Dang I wasn’t finished typingMay 17, 2013 – 1:40 pm
Katia,
Ugh stupid commenting from phone – I’ll be backMay 17, 2013 – 1:42 pm
Kenya, 
OMG, I’m DYING over here. That is exactly how I am in social settings. And I always have the pit stains as well. So, so awful. But so, so funny after the fact when you retell it on your blog. I used to care what people thought about me, too, and I made an effort to know stuff about people. I even remembered birthdays. Now? Not so much.
Dani, 
I think this post turned out beautifully! You shed some light on the types of things NOT to say–and you did it in a funny but serious way (I LOVE “pit stains”!!). That shows what an awesome writer you are–and how much you know about your subject. You rocked it, girlfriend! 
This is how I talk all the time. Totally socially awkward. But you really don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. You’re doing a lot for your son, and that’s what’s important! 
lol (total FTSF Post envy!) …as to the actual situation (as opposed to the graphically- told story*), I can identify with the feeling of the situation, at least the sense of ‘what? why are you asking me questions? what part of never sharing personal information before are you missing?” *which I also envy the drawing-speak 
I love how you are able to take such a sensitive subject and make it humorous. I know something about awkward conversations as well, and I think you did well! Pit sweat and all!!
Shay,
Jessica,
Clark,
Thanks, Alexa! Awkward conversations suck and seem to be pretty frequent for me recently.May 17, 2013 – 2:18 pm 
The irony would be if his expression was because your comments made him think of the spectrum but he wasn’t sure if he should mention it because you said “delay” and he didn’t want to freak you out if you hadn’t thought of it as a possibility?? You just never know. I actually let out a snort laughing when you got to the point of dragging your poor innocent hubs into the conversation. That’s the thing – you think it might be awkward to bring it up around others, but you don’t know their situation either, so who care. You could end up helping them out. [#FTSF] 
Keeping spreading the good word girl…let the world know it’s okay. I’m sure it’s tough but you’re no weakling…you’re a fiighter and totally kick donkey. Unfortunately most people fear it only because they don’t understand it.May 17, 2013 – 3:17 pm 
It’s your business and yes it could’ve been a teachable moment but being part time there I understand why you didn’t feel the need to educate.May 17, 2013 – 4:00 pm 
Kristi, this post is amazing. You’ve allowed us into a private part of your world and educated us on what to say (or not to say) in this situation. I’ll bet there are a lot of insensitive people in this world who wouldn’t get it, either. But to be fair, a lot of people really have no clue what autism is, and have no idea how to respond to parents with autistic kids. I think you handled this situation the best way possible–and I know this must have been a difficult conversation to have. On a lighter note, the drawings you included were SO FUNNY—brought a smile to my face. You are such a good writer, my friend. I’m so happy we’ve connected in the blogosphere! XO 
Well, I laughed out loud at that one! And even if the post did go in a different direction than you intended, I personally think you did a superb job (oy, that sounds weird) of explaining what soooo many of us feel when our kids have special needs and we’re talking to someone who doesn’t know, and we don’t necessarily want them to know, because yes, we know we’re going to get that pity look. Ugh, I hated that. The good news is that I have found that I’ve become more skilled at either trying to avoid those conversations altogether, or I have more prepared answers that don’t leave me feeling awkward and annoyed. Some people just don’t “get it” and they never will. Others do, whether or not they themselves have a child with special needs, and those people will be the ones you can talk to freely. 
Yeah, it can suck being a 24-7 advertisement for special needs awareness. I think your responses were just fine, warranted the situation, and should no longer be stressed over. Happy Friday!May 17, 2013 – 4:25 pm 
OMG you handled this situation so much more eloquently than I would have! I would have been at a complete loss for words. Something kind of similar happened to me a few years ago…I was at a Thanksgiving gathering, and a woman that I didn’t know asked me if I did any sports. I said, “No, they aren’t exactly my thing, if you know what I mean,” and tried to laugh it off, hoping that she would take the hint and drop the subject. I was praying that would be the end of it but THEN. THEN she was all pity-faced (your pity-face illustration was PERFECTION in a drawing, by the way…that’s exactly what this woman looked like too!) and she said, “Ohhhh yeah, I saw you walking….it’s a shame that a beautiful girl like you has to walk like that!” Cue the awkward silence….I tried to come up with some sort of coherent response, but all that came to mind was, “WTF?” I wanted to dive under the table! Anyway, I think you handled yourself amazingly well considering how awkward of a situation that was! xo 
{{{{{{Kristi}}}}}}}}. Smetimes good intentions count. Like when you suddenly have to merge parts of your work- and home- lives. I think you did fine in the moment. It was a tough moment! I, too, have been on the receiving end of The Pity Face and sometimes would say anything to avoid that. You’re a good mama. And a good co-worker (I should know
I’m back…. Anyway, I hate small talk. I don’t know what’s worse – filling it in with more small talk our having that awkward one mississippi two mississippi three mississippi gap of silence while you try to think of something to say. Like when someone tries to small talk me about religion or politics – I’m like hey I go to church and I voted – I don’t know EVERYTHING. And I really hate running into my old coworkers and them asking what are you up to now. Do I really want to hand them a business card that says I blog? I do, but I don’t. I totally feel you on the sweaty pits moments. On the serious side – you continue to teach me lessons through this journey of yours. Keep sharing! And just one more laugh for the road that this was your FTSF post. 
I love this post! I love your honesty that these conversations can in fact be awkward and that the pity look is the WORST! Your pictures and commentary though had me laughing so hard. As always well done.
Thanks, Anna! I appreciate it. May 17, 2013 – 4:59 pm 
I think you handled the situation just fine. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Talking to people is so very hard. We feel like we’re being judged or pitied or whatever. I try not to let it get to me because I’ve been on the other side where I’m thinking, “Wow. That sucks. I don’t know what to say.” On the upside, you have so many online friends who are totally with you that you can afford to blow off your co-workers. *raspberry*
Great post. I have had awkward conversations like that… different reasons, same result. I also think you handled yourself very well. I do so love your posts, I don’t always comment but I do read. I just wanted to tell you you’re a great mum (excuse my British spelling!) Have an amazing weekend
Thanks, Serena! And yeah, those awkward conversations are well…awkward. Love that you used the mum spelling – I heard an adorable British accent in my head which was awesome. Hope you have a great weekend, too!May 17, 2013 – 6:20 pm
PS Can you put a link to your blog here?May 17, 2013 – 6:21 pm 
I*hate* that shit. (Those conversations, not the post…) I used to tap-dance around questions about my “husband” before I got remarried. I was so painfully aware that I was *different* than the other families. I realize that has nothing to do with having a child on the spectrum, or with speech delays, but I can definitely relate to the feeling of trying to keep some things to yourself, especially in the workplace. Avoiding that bullshit pity look is huge. I’m sure you did your best, and I have no idea how I could have done anything better or different than you did to make the conversation less painful. People aren’t trying to be dumb assholes. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t still being dumb assholes. And that really sucks.
Stephanie,
Chris,
Kenya, 
Well done you. I loved your drawings (as ever) and can completely get the pity all over the face thing (we’re going through trying to figure out how to tell people we can’t have kids). It’s horrible, and yes, you do get twitchy and wonder whether it’s worth having the conversation in the first place.
Meno mama and Emily,
K-
Lori, PS I HATE not having nested comments.
Considerer, 
I sympathize about the awkwardness, but I have to be honest – I cracked up when you threw your husband under the bus! That coworker is probably smacking his forehead for being a dumbass, and you got a fabulous blog post out of it!
Know exactly how you feel! I mean its not like it is a secret, but at the same time I mostly just dont feel like discussing it with most people. it can be awkward…and the thing is I’m not ashamed at all. Just don’t feel like explaining.May 17, 2013 – 8:56 pm 
Besides this being a simultaneously hilarious and poignant post, I just want to say that it is not necessarily YOUR JOB to teach people manners and maturity. Or about autism. You know?
Deb,
Dana,
I’ll tell you what- I get this post…even though I don’t have a child with delays, I’ve had wayyyyy too many of these awkward conversations. Sometimes, you just have to make light of the absurdity of it. At least, that’s what I do!May 17, 2013 – 9:45 pm 
I think there is a connection to be made with how women are trained to accommodate from birth. A lot of us have a knee-jerk reaction to act as you did that feels almost impossible to control sometimes.
I loved the direction that the post went! I have heard myself say ridiculous things that I wished I could take back! This happened when I noticed ( and said out loud) that my co workers baby was working hard to poop. Boy do I wish I could take that back! Actually, I’m wondering if I should take it back from this comment! 
This post was wonderful. Though I’m sure it was not wonderful to live through. Everyone can identify with not want to become engaged in talking about a deep personal subject with someone. Your pictures captured all that uncomfortableness. Loved it.
Jamie,
@[703769427:2048:Julie] is it wrong that I can imagine some of your awkward conversations and may have read about some of them in your book? You might have me beat
Haha! Glad you didn’t take it back from this comment because awesome and it made me laugh. Love that you talked about poop with your coworkers!
Kristin,
@[703769427:2048:Julie], what comment system are you using on JD.com these days? Saw a note that you uninstalled Disqus and am curious why I do not have the same commenting system as you! (I know you’re gonna say it’s a theme thing…sigh)May 17, 2013 – 11:17 pm 
That’s so funny, I was like when she was younger she what??? when I got to the end, so I had to go back. Can I just give you a cyber hug? When Isaiah was first diagnosed I would not call him “special needs” I refused. I didn’t want people to look at me funny or pity me, as you said. Then my sister, who is a Speech Therapist at the children’s hospital in Utah told me how much my story was helping the families of her patients. She convinced me to stop hiding and to start evangelizing. She showed me that its all in your perspective. Own who Tucker is! You never know, the next person you talk to might be two years before you, with a speech delayed child, and so completely lost that connecting with you could be what keeps them a float. Tucker is unique and funny and wonderful, just bring it! You could be a force out there in the real world too, not just in the blogosphere (cause you really are here
Jen,
Jean,
My children all have special needs to one degree or another. Not that you asked for it, but here is a little advice. First, stop being so hard on yourself. Give yourself a break. It is not your job to educate the whole world. It is your job to parent your child. Educate when you have the energy and the gumption. Secondly, if you don’t have the energy or the gumption, skip it. Either say “We are happy with my son’s preschool. They give him lots of attention.” Or, when you have the energy say, “My son might be autistic. We are still working on a diagnosis, so we have him at Such and Such Preschool because they are great with working with kids on the autism spectrum. He’s doing great there.”
I can rehearse out such conversations and yet still have them happen so awkwardly I want to never return! I can usually tell people what I think but am not so good about telling how I feel, or telling facts that bring pity. Just a few nights ago I was having dinner with my boss and a few people from a client. They started talking about siblings and how different our kids are from each other and that led to how we’re different from our siblings. I sat silent praying no one asked me- what would I say- yeah, so we’re a lot different. For example, I’m here and he’s who the hell knows where. I have co-workers who don’t know, so certainly not sharing with clients at a dinner. I feel your pain a bit. But you don’t have to be the advocate 100% of the time- sometimes you get to just be you, knowing even if you’re not speaking and educating, everything you do is for him in some way. <3May 18, 2013 – 11:46 am 
You don’t have to educate everyone all the time, and it is okay to just give a boring “oh he has special needs” response without elaborating. I’m generally pretty open about what is going on with Mini when people ask, but I’ve had 10 years of practice explaining why I can’t eat what everyone else is eating! (Yay for celiac and multiple food allergies, which come up without fail every time I am in a group of people for longer than 10 minutes because everyone always wants to eat!) It does get easier with time and practice.
Anita,
Thanks, Mama Meerkat! And yes, so true that if you get more than a few people together for more than a few minutes, people want to eat. In fact, just talking about it made me hungry right now.May 18, 2013 – 1:07 pm
Gina,
Gina, do you have a blog?May 18, 2013 – 1:27 pm 
Wow your words and drawings are always so good and I really enjoy coming to read your blogs. Keep up the good work and I think you did handle the conversation really well.May 18, 2013 – 2:17 pm 
Kristi, I have similar conversations in regards to my kids having been adopted. I avoid eye contact, which usually works in public with strangers, but not so much at church or other social settings. I want to throat-punch well-meaning people when they say, “You’re such a good person to adopt these kids.” PUKE!!!! Like my kids are pathetic degenerates. It’s that pity thing. I hate it. They’re just my kids now, not orphans anymore. I just say, “Well, my husband and I are the ones who have been blessed,” and change the subject. It feels so weak. Gah!
Kate, 
I’ve done this myself. At least you didn’t start sobbing. Once–in a room full of other writers–I tried to explain what was wrong with Lindsey and broke out in tears. And the pity on their faces was pretty darn obvious. I just wanted to explain without drama. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Sometimes the pain of her “diagnosis/title” paralyzes my voice and the words get stuck in my throat. I wish they didn’t. I love this story and your drawings. (As usual.) Thanks for sharing Kristi.
Aw, Linda! 
You are amazing and awesome and I love you so hard.
Dawn,
Just steered it away- way more my style. I’m having a good weekend so far, and am in PJ’s eating pizza with the kids- so happy day 
I don’t remember ever getting the pity look. My usual answer to kid related stuff was, “He’s special needs, but we manage.” That usually leads to, “what’s wrong with him?” And that just opens up a whole new can of worms. Why does autism or being on the spectrum have to be considered “wrong?” Maybe they’re ‘right’ and we’re all wrong. And who want’s a normal kid like everyone else? They are unique and special in all the good ways.
YAY so you’re back home! Awesome happy happy.May 19, 2013 – 1:32 am
We don’t have an autism diagnosis for patty and have greatly/happily avoided it. The global attitude towards autism would have to change before I would be comfortable saying my daughter is autistic. My go to response is ‘she’s just a little behind her peers’. Is it weird I am completely comfortable with ‘developmental delay’ and completely not w ‘autism’?May 19, 2013 – 1:25 pm
Totally understand. There are times when I simply don’t want to go into it. I have a daughter with autism and sometimes, not often, I simply don’t feel communicative (is that a word?). But that goes for other topics, too…May 19, 2013 – 1:33 pm 
My kid had ADHD and it was really hard when he was growing up – even though he was very intelligent (invisible Pig friend followed him everywhere, kept changing the name he wanted to be known by and we had to guess what it was before he spoke to us etc. etc.) he just wouldn’t engage in the learning process and developed early on a frightening self belief – he was also a committed cynic from about 4 yrs old…. he was almost excluded from school at one point – we called him Sparklemouse – he was ever so small and feisty – I look at him now at 25 – 6 feet 4 inches tall, holding down a day job, playing team sport, great girlfriend and doing education part time – at his own pace – and I think. OMG – if I could only have seen this back then – I wouldn’t have beaten myself up so much and worried about what other people were saying about him all those years ago… so, just keep loving and caring and it will all come right in the end!!May 19, 2013 – 4:11 pm
Bee,
Terrye,
Misty,
Diane,
Completely fine to not have the energy or patience to deal with a co-worker on this or any other subject! It’s a professional relationship, period. Now, get back to work!May 20, 2013 – 3:03 am  It’s celebration time! I have no idea whether Tucker deciding that he hates me shampooing and rinsing his hair in the tub is a side effect of autism or developmental delays or is it simply a Tucker-quirk. But it’s been sort of sucky lately and makes me feel like an asshole because I end up…
You. Are. Brilliant. Good job, Mama!
Awww that’s wonderful! This gave me a big grin.
Love this idea and seriously Tucker is just too cute!! You really did your work on this one and just love how it can be something so simple that makes it all better for them at this age!!! Thanks for sharing Kristi
Janine,
Kenya,
Lori, 
My daughter went through this phase. :/ Stinks. I wish I had your stroke of brilliance. I just had to let the stage ride itself out.
GENIUS!! And Tucker is too cute! I love his dinosaur hair. (:May 16, 2013 – 12:14 pm
Diana,
Kerry,
That is genius! My oldest HATED me rinsing shampoo out of her hair until she was SIX. That is a lot of years of screaming and crying, and I did not have any brilliant ideas to make it easier. In case her little sister follows in her footsteps, now I have a new trick! You should pat yourself on the back for this one. Those pictures are so awesome, and proof that your trick works!
Good work!
What a brilliant idea!!! I’m totally trying this! My daughter doesn’t mind me shampooing her hair, but rinsing it is never fun. She doesn’t cry like she used to, but she doesn’t enjoy it. It will be easier when she understands the concept of putting her head back so the water doesn’t get in her face! Like you, I just end up dumping water over her head. But now I’ll try this! Thanks! 
Great idea! Genius! And just adorable…
You would think we wouldn’t have shampooing issues with an 11 year old, but he never gets it clean. He slaps on the shampoo, rubs it in for 5 seconds, and stands under the shower for 10 seconds to rinse it out. I’ve resorted to coming in and taking the nozzle and rinsing it myself while he covers his jewels (he is 11, after all). Makes me miss the bathtub days!
Don’t you love when you do something awesome that you think should be recorded in the Guinness Book of Parenting book? Yeah, my excellent moves are few and far between too, but I think I totally deserve a medal or something when I think of something clever…as for that spiky dinosaur hair — incredibly cute and you are one smart mama!! Congrats to you on this one — you deserve it!! 
Those pictures are so cute! What a brilliant idea! Have I told you lately that you are awesome?? xoxo
Joy!
Emily,
Dana,
Dani,
Jessica,
Stephanie,
Great minds think a like!!! When Isaiah was younger, because of the Sensory Processing Disorder, baths were a nightmare! I bought him this play shaving kit, hoping that would help, it came with a mini mirror. Well that was all he needed too! When I realized how awesome it was I let him hold my makeup mirror (not that I wear any:-)) and we would do crazy stuff with his hair. The other thing that helped was they sell this foaming shave cream in colors in the kids bath section of Wal-Mart he LOVED being able to draw all over the tub with foam!
That’s an awesome strategy! Big A also hated having his hair shampooed, so I think it’s just that some kids are sensitive, that’s all!May 16, 2013 – 6:39 pm
I’ll have to try that – my 2 year old hates the shampoo part of bath time and I’ve taken to just dumping water over her regardless of the production she puts on. Great thinking!May 16, 2013 – 6:51 pm
Your tip sure would have come in handy for me about 20 years ago
You should patent this.
Jen, And DEB, do you think I could???
Maybe it’ll come in handy with the grandkids one day?? May 16, 2013 – 9:29 pm
From the comments, I’m guessing you are right! And here I was – thinking we were so alone!
OOH yeah, try it! Let me know if it works??May 16, 2013 – 9:30 pm 
Noah used to put his ear in the water of the tub and celebrate that he went underwater. He hated to get his face wet. It terrified him. Water in general terrified him. Three summers of swimming lessons was a waste. He either cried or looked at me so sadly. Then one day when he was about 7 we were at my sister’s and everyone was jumping in the pool at the deep end but Noah. If he was in the shallow end and started to venture into the abyss accidentally he became hysterical and frantic. Joe placed himself smack down in the middle of either side and told Noah to jump in and he could reach him no matter what. Noah jumped as far as humanly possible until one time he didn’t. He swam all the way across. A friend had left and when he came back he was astounded. Noah was proficient from there. Best. Day. Ever.May 17, 2013 – 3:11 pm
Lemons into Lemonade! Love it. He is having a blast!May 17, 2013 – 7:38 pm
Great job! We never know how creative we are until we become moms, right?
love!May 19, 2013 – 1:16 am
Kim,
Shay,
He really was and what a change from his “before the hand mirror days.” He actually wants to take baths now. May 19, 2013 – 9:01 pm
 Scents and music have a way of taking us back like nothing else. Passing a stranger who leaves behind a trail of RL Polo takes me back to the 80’s and the boy I thought I could love. The one I thought I did love who never even saw me. Phil Collin’s In the Air…
You know that maybe/probably autism doesn’t matter. Tucker matters. i have to tell you that the first song Isaiah and I connected with was Mas Que Nada by Sergio Mendes. It was awesome!
Jen! Holy cow wow wow. William Shatner did a cover of Tambourine Man?! NO WAY! Hahahh! That’s freaking scary and awesome and disturbing. I know that Tucker matters. I know that maybe/probably autism doesn’t. But thank you for the reminder. Hugely thank you.
So true about music taking you on a trip back to the past, because I can hear a song nowadays and being instantly transported back to a time or even a moment that I heard it it in my past. And my girls love music too and Emma even had colic. The only song that would calm her and almost put her in a trance was Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”!! I kid you not and can still see her with her little hands folded almost meditating listening to it as an infant in her Boppy Pillow.
Janine,
Your links didn’t link anywhere, were they supposed to? I wanna check out the mellow Billie Jean. Just so happens I just listened to MJ’s Billie Jean on Pandora a few minutes ago. I’ll check youtube for Chris Cornell. Love the Tucker pic. He looks like he’s trying to snap his fingers.
Now that’s funny, this post makes me think of a song-”I Go Back” by Kenny Chesney. 
I drive faster when I hear Metallica too!
This is so true! It’s crazy how music takes you back and suddenly you’re filled with nostalgia for how good things used to be and an appreciation for how awesome things have turned out. Thanks for this post, Miss Kristi–it was beautiful!
Music is a universal language. Some scientists theorize that almost any species in the universe would be able to understand. I’m not sure I agree with that, but all humans certainly seem to react. I had a deaf friend in high school who could boogy down like nobody’s business because he felt the vibrations and he understood. I’m glad you have this means of connecting with your song. 
Your son is so adorable
There is something transcending and transformative about music. In looking for a linky to add to this bloghop, I notice how many of my Music posts are also Perfect Moment posts. The right song can make any moment soar. Bohemian Rhapsody is one of those songs, for sure!
Sunny and I love music, too. Our music therapist just left some minutes ago and we had so much fun again. As I wrote in my wrap-up post for last week he is now totally into Mozart’s “Eine kleine Nachtmusik”. As soon as he hears it he is able to calm down and relax, regardless of how agitated he was just minutes before. Lovely post! PS: Yeah, Metallica!? I was such a huge fan of them, too! You know that I’ve written an entire blog post about “One”? Yeah, you do because you commented on it! Kindred spirits! xoxo 
I’ve never been a big music person but songs still remind me of people and times of my life.
Kristi, this was beautiful. I’ve always thought of my cooking being the thread that kept me connected to my kids when they move out of the house- music would do that too.May 14, 2013 – 12:11 pm
I loved this! Music has this effect on me, too. It brings me back to another place and time. For Christmas one year, I bought my Mum 3 albums we used to listen to in the car when I was a kid, and I wrote her the memories each of them invoked in me. She loved it. And I love that your son likes Queen. Love. Love. Love!!!
I feel the same about Metallica-driving faster! Lol
“Smells and music have a way of taking us back like nothing else.” That whole smell (scent sounds better) thing is as impressive as the music cues, that take us to another time, and it is that power to invoke the emotion of the time that is at once wonderful and scary. (I actually have ‘been careful’ with some of my favoriate music at times of predictable duress. I remember when Ola was sick, that I thought, ‘better not listen too much to the came songs, it could get attached’.) Great Post
Very cool list. I remember head banging in the 80′s. Once so hard I hit my head on the steering wheel.
My parents tell me that I used to bop to “I Can See Clearly Now” by Johnny Nash when I was a year old. My kids know that song as it was covered by the three blind mice in Shrek. I can really relate to your thoughts on the power of music, Kristi – it takes me back too!
Well, of course I am in love with that photo of Tucker above…and yes, I love everything you said about music — it does connect us, it does bring us back for sure, and it does bring us to now too. (and by the way, I don’t know if you’ve looked into music therapy at all, but if he is musical, you might look into it if you haven’t already). I talk about music in my memoir…the band Journey was a big force for me in college, which is something I refer to in my memoir (which has flashbacks to college). Great post and really thought provoking too. 
Such a cutie! (had to get that out of the way) Glad you’re back for the Twisted Mix this week. I never knew anyone had covered Billie Jean. But then, I never knew someone covered Bohemian Rhapsody, besides Wayne & Garth, natch.
Kenya,
Sadder Sarah,
Nothing by the book,
Lori,
Joy,
Kate,
Jean,
Dani,
LM,
Clark,
Kerri!
Oh! I love that song! I’m embarrassed to say it but I clearly remember being about oh-maybe eight or nine? And loving Debbie Gibson. Gah.May 14, 2013 – 8:04 pm
Emily,
Melissa, 
Music is my world baby. I completely understand what you mean about rekindling memories. Good. Bad. And all in between. When I was in the throes of postpartum depression, I remember the happiest moments were the ones where my son and I danced wildly in the kitchen to Raffi.
Kimberly,
I love this! Obviously this resonates with me, as both a music therapist and a human being who loves music. You were so eloquent with your descriptions of your memories. I would love to sing with your little guy!May 15, 2013 – 2:11 am
I love this post–you really took me down memory lane with this one! It’s true what you said–how a perfume can you take you back in time and so does music. I can listen to an old song and be instantly transported back to a first kiss, a date, or a day of heartache. And the coolest thing is to be able to share these good ol’ tunes with our kids. Sharing their appreciation of the music– priceless! 
Music has the power to connect us across generations, abilities, nationalities… it has such healing power. I am definitely not a musician, but it speaks to me and helps me, and without it I’d be lost.
Menopausal Mama,
Anita,
Steph! I want you to sing with my little guy! And thank you, kind friend. May 15, 2013 – 11:10 pm 
Hey, didn’t get a chance to comment when this came out, but as far as covers go, I wanted a shout out to Eva Cassidy’s Fields of Gold, which better than Sting’s version and is up there as one of the best covers ever (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGwDYBWEDSc). Also, I was always keen on Melanie’s version of Tambourine Man (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LwyOSyWpNg). Rock on, sistah.May 18, 2013 – 10:35 pm
Hey Sara, As you may know, tomorrow is Mother’s Day here in the US. A day to celebrate mom. Which means in our house, a day to celebrate ME. While I would not dare speak for all mothers out there, I will say to my dear husband: Forget the flowers. I just want some time alone. Of…
So it might be terrible of me to say also that the best Mother’s day I ever had was the time my son and husband went to go visit my mother-in-law and they were gone a week. It was the best Mother’s Day ever. I went to brunch with a friend and then went to Kirkland’s and bought myself a picture of flowers to hang on the wall. We just need a break sometimes. Last year I remember being so pissed cleaning up the kitchen on Mother’s Day evening when my husband had gone to bed exhausted like he had just had the hardest day cooking breakfast and dinner. Good grief. Awww man I sound ungrateful huh? This year, I’m not asking to be off the clock because it’s messy and i have to starve to death before food appears. I showed Christopher a necklace with a “K” charm on it, and I hope he came through showing his daddy exactly where to find it. Cross your fingers for me. Happy Mother’s Day!
Kenya, 
Ha! Yes, I have asked for that too: alone time for Mother’s Day. I don’t think I have ever actually gotten it, because after a couple of hours, I miss them all! Oh the joys of being a mom. Happy Mother’s Day, Kristi!
Hahahaha! I hope you get some alone time; you deserve it! You’re not alone…my mom used to ask for that too!
After the long day I had today, alone time sounds perfect right now!! And that picture is so my life. Seriously, I am not sure the last time the bathroom for me didn’t include one or both of my girls hovering over me while on sit on the toilet!! I truly hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day and do get so much needed alone time!!
Yep a whole week. I think that was the first time the left me. I missed them terribly when they missed their connecting flight coming home and had to stay in Atlanta overnight and I swore that Christopher had grown while he was gone. Lol! As for the K necklace I think I’m sol. I haven’t had any secret knowing looks from Christopher to give it away
So this is what I did to make sure I got what I wanted for Mother’s Day…we went to the mall and my husband took the boys to buy my gift and I went off on my own and bought myself exactly what I wanted: a new tennis outfit and an overpriced pair of jeans. I didn’t want to take the risk of not getting what I wanted…happy Mother’s Day to us!! Hope you get that alone time tomorrow!!May 11, 2013 – 10:05 pm
Oh, yes, the guilt that causes us to think about Horrible Things happening because we want just a chunk of time alone. Funny funny picture!
Charlie will often take the kids to his mom’s house so Julie gets some alone time to garden. ….As for me, the dogs follow me everywhere in the house so it’s been a long time since I’ve pooped alone, too. Hope your wishes come true!May 11, 2013 – 11:27 pm
Sara,
Lori, Emily,
Kenya,
Courtney,
K – (Kerry) Thanks for the reminder that I’m not alone! Happy Mother’s Day to your mom who did an amazing job raising my young friend who will be famous one day.
OMG, I’m so glad I’m not the only one. It would be nice if I didn’t have to work this weekend too. Some person (probably not a mom) decided to run a Continuity-Of-Business test this weekend at work for over three hundred applications. We need more moms in business so these things don’t happen.May 12, 2013 – 12:08 am
A-freaking-men. From your lips (fingertips?) to dh’s ears (eyes?).May 12, 2013 – 12:21 am
Oh yes. This is so true for so many moms. Forget the flowers. Give me an hour alone in a bookstore!May 12, 2013 – 12:25 am
Happy Mother’s Day to you and to all the moms who just want a peaceful poop! I hope you have a great day! JSMatthew~May 12, 2013 – 1:10 am
KRISTI. Your pictures seriously crack me up so hard. Is that a blurry spot in your cartoon crotch? Holy shit. Too funny. BY THE WAY…WHERE is your blog button?? I want it for my blog! Am I just blinded by this wine? Why can I not find it?
Yay, you<3 thanks for sharing!! And Happy Mother's Day!! I hope it's perfect and relaxing.May 12, 2013 – 1:26 am
Shay!
Alone! We’re leaving in the afternoon for a night away alone tomorrow- also our anniversary- and I plan to read books and relax. I think my husband has other plans for all those no kid hours!May 12, 2013 – 2:06 am
Preach it! Your restaurant/chicken nuggets/margarita bit had me laughing…I actually wrote a song tonight about our celebratory dinner tonight. Yes, I’m going to try to do a vlog tomorrow. God help me. I hope you get some alone time!May 12, 2013 – 2:27 am
Seriously? You’re going to do a vlog? Awesome awesome awesome! I can’t wait to see it. And happy Mother’s Day!!May 12, 2013 – 3:53 am
Actually, Maggie, I have to do a little bit of IRL work tomorrow, too…which is part of why I’m begging for some time alone. Good luck and Happy Mother’s Day!May 12, 2013 – 3:54 am
Yay you! That sounds awesome. Happy, happy anniversary and Happy Mother’s Day, too! I hope you two have a wonderful trip.May 12, 2013 – 3:55 am
Aw, thank you! May 12, 2013 – 3:56 am
Let me know if you want me to send him an email! 
What a great idea to pick up the chicken nuggets and bring them to a another restaurant. Why didn’t I ever think of that. Hope all your wishes come true for today Happy Mother’s Day!
I am so with you. This morning Sunny sat on my lap while I peed. ’nuff said. Happy Mother’s Day to you, too, my dear (and, BTW, we celebrate it here today, too)! xoxo
Lol I only swear in acronyms. Lol!!! Happy Mother’s Day. I’ll tweet you later. Everybody is still sleep. No church today, I’m getting ready to slide out of bed, and tip toe to the kitchen for a me time cup if coffee. I don’t know what I’m tiptoeing for, they will sleep until they are sure we aren’t going.May 12, 2013 – 7:10 am
Wishing you AT LEAST five solid hours alone! You truly deserve it.May 12, 2013 – 7:49 am
Happy Mother’s Day! Hope you get some YOU time!
Susan,
Joy,
Kenya,
Anita,
Kate,
STOP.IT. You had me laughing again and then you had, just had to throw in that picture at the end. You had to! Solitary confinement is what I asked for today and I got it (sorta). Like you I felt guilty about it and had a few horror panic attacks about what trouble they could get into but it was awesome. Alone is awesome sometimes. I also find it awesome how you share the little thoughts that run through your head that I never think to share with anyone. Happy Mother’s Day, Kristi!
Oh I love when you do the funny stuff! I was serious laughing because I totally do that! I can’t wait for “guys night” and then when they go out I am so sure they are going to die in some horrible car accident I can barely enjoy myself! I take my cell phone all over the house so I can dial 911, and I panic when they are running late. You rock lady! Happy Mother’s Day!
If you get 4 minutes let alone 45 to poop in piece I will be jealous for life.
Kerri,
Jen, 
You started my day with a smile!
Yay for days that start with a smile. Thanks for visiting, Terri.
Thank you for covering up your privates.May 13, 2013 – 2:14 pm
Kim, 
Aww I hope you got your alone time! |
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Joy - Wow, that ocular melanoma thing sounds really scary. I have a mole in my iris, too, but I hope it is nothing serious. At least my ophthalmologist never said something when he checked it. And since I had basal cell carcinoma some years ago I have my skin checked for cancer every year. It is so important to stay healthy for our kids!
May 20, 2013 – 3:46 am
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