Finding Ninee » Sharing our special needs and autism story through heart and humor.

Thanksgiving reminds us to be thankful for all that we have, all that we are, and all that we’ve been. It’s a time to think about what we want to do, and who we want to be tomorrow and forever. It’s a time to reflect and to remember that every single person that you pass on […]

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Sometimes, late at night, when I can’t sleep, I stare at my bedroom ceiling and think about my boobs. I think about the day when I first asked my mom for a bra, after being made fun of for my little nub-boobs. I think about how I have used my boobs, stuck them out to avoid […]

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  • zoe - Totally ten! I think there were ten in why we should be thankful for boobs never mind the thanks due for kicking cancers effing ass.November 22, 2014 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Thank you Kristi and Lizzi for your cancer awareness. I donated $20,000 to cancer this past year with results that I had not hoped for long term. It did bless me with 3 of the most magical months of my life. Never give up the fight. Love you both. Mike
    Mike recently posted…Happy Thanksgiving To My Daddy And Our Friends! A Love StoryMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 8:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - What an amazing and creative way to encourage people to give to a wonderful and worthy cause!
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…The Pros and Cons of Life with a Traveling SpouseMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I’m so glad you got that mammogram, Kristi – protect those boobies. And thank you for sharing Lizzi’s story – she is one talented and fabulous Brit.November 22, 2014 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - I have been thinking too, over the last few months, of the incredible journey our breasts go through throughout our lives and how quickly our attitude towards them changes once we become mothers or when that bitch Cancer comes along. I don’t have a history of breast cancer in my family, but so many people I know have either battled it themselves or love someone who is or has battled it. Some of these women are so young too. They are terminally ill with little children at home. It is just heartbreaking. I love what Lizzi is doing to fight the war against cancer. She is so proactive and talented and creative. What a beautiful person and what a beautiful mind.November 22, 2014 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - Krsiti what a beautiful post. I can only imagine how your birth families history must weigh on you. I lost a dear friend this year to this dreaded disease. And, thanks for donating so that I could enjoy LIzzi’s great story!! Love to you both!November 23, 2014 – 12:33 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Ohhhhhhhh YES! BOOM! LOVE LOVE LOVE what you did with this. Ten and Ten and TEN MORE! *punches the air*

    And thank you for being part of this campaign and THANK YOU for that epic lead-in and shout out. You are AWESOME.November 23, 2014 – 1:46 amReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - What a great idea! I love this. And it is scary when we know our family’s health history and how things might go. The anticipation and worry.November 23, 2014 – 2:27 amReplyCancel

  • clark - you do realize that today is Saturday, don’t you?*

    Good Post. (go!!! breasteses!!)
    sorry, best I got at 4 am…. will try again later, this is, after all, a 2 day ‘hop.

    * I apologise for the lie, I am writing this on Sunday morning**, but I was going to write this mid-Saturday evening, but somehow, when I started to read your Post… I got, all, “oh shit this is a serious Post Kristi’s written, best save the smartass for another time…”
    and then Saturday Night stole it’s way in, a surprising, but welcome reminder of a younger time
    ** fuckin internet, all ‘record everything when it happens’ a blogger can’t rightly sneak up on a sister, with this logging in shit
    clark recently posted…a) 10 , b) Things c) Thankful, d) all of the above -the Wakefield Doctrine- (yeah, why is it, there shouldn’t be too many ‘Ds’)My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 4:10 amReplyCancel

    • Sarah - Clark said breasteses! Snort.

      Lovely story, Lizzi.
      Sarah recently posted…TToT53: Starting Year Number Two with Lots of Hand-Me-DownsMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 10:19 amReplyCancel

      • Considerer - Heheh I’d say ‘breastses’ as well, but ‘Breasticles’ or ‘BOOBIES’ is more my level :D And thanks.
        Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 6:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well see Clark, I can get in EARLY when somebody else writes most of my post for me. Feel free to send me something before Sunday next link up. I actually almost posted this last week to HAVE TWO but then I thought “nah. why overachieve like that?”
      HAHAH feel free to get all smartass on any of my serious posts anytime. The one before this could use some smartass comments – my stupid step daughter is knocked up and stuff… and well yeah.
      Also? I’m way too lazy to check whether it was Saturday or Sunday so feel free to lie to me about stuff like that any time. Seriously.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 7:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine - Love this idea – what a good way to get people donating, and pretty unique too! Great story as well :)
    Catherine recently posted…Falling In Love With Kinsale, County CorkMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 7:02 amReplyCancel

  • Chronicallysickmanicmother - oh i so get the worry over family medical history. what could be
    Chronicallysickmanicmother recently posted…The week without Starbucks TTOT #75My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 7:25 amReplyCancel

  • Scott - Lizzi, this is an amazing piece! I love it!
    Scott recently posted…Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (or more likely, Hell’s Gate)My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 9:38 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh sweet girl, it makes me sad that you think about this – and it’s easy for me to say, “Don’t!” But that’s what I want to say. Just take care of yourself, and get your mammograms:)> Cancer does suck and I truly can’t think about it too much – because I will get serious anxiety. My annual physical/OBGYN appointments are in the same month and once I get a clean bill of health – I’m happy for about six months and then I get the anxiety itch again…until the exams:). Maybe I should switch it up where I see a doctor every six months. Oh, man, I am rambling. Happy healthy thoughts my friend.November 23, 2014 – 9:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie, I get sad that I think about this too but part of me is like “ok it’s gonna happen, so let’s just cut them off now….” ya know?? And yeah, I think we should see a doc every six months too, especially after the age of 40, AND, I think we should get free yearly MRI’s because stuff like pancreatic and liver cancer can be seen then and treated but the symptoms come too late and UGH UGH yeah I hear the anxiety… although too? Weird but I also avoid the doc. Like right now, I know I have cavities in my teeth to fill and I’m procrastinating going to get it done. SO DUMB. And now who is rambling??
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - Love your intro and boob thoughts – it is certainly a journey they go through and I love how you wrote it.

    As for kicking cancers ass – way to intro Lizzi and her piece – and way to add to the fight! And may you never have to reach the end of your quote.
    Louise recently posted…Crafts, Tribbles and SharksMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 10:33 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - A creative one….and thanks to you for sending the message out with a wonderful story, Kristi!November 23, 2014 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Claudia Schmidt - So sorry that you have so much history of breast cancer in your birth family but I hope you don’t spend too many nights worrying about it, ’cause if there’s one thing cancer has taught me it’s that life is short, so don’t waste your time worrying – get out there and enjoy what you have. AND, just so you know, I had no history of BC in my family and still got it, so there you go. You might get lucky and never have to experience it. And good for you for spending the $50 for the 3D scan. xo
    Claudia Schmidt recently posted…Before Breast Cancer, I Used To DO Life. Now I EXPERIENCE Life.My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 12:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m trying to comment on your last blog post and can’t get a good connection…
      THANK YOU for your awesome comment… and here’s what I’m still trying to say on your last post:

      WOW. I hadn’t thought much about how breast cancer has affected my day to day because I’m still in a situation that means I’m obsessed by it for other reasons; my bio mom had both removed last year, my bio aunt had them both removed before then, my son’s teacher is BRCA-1 positive and had them both removed… and well, crap. I almost want “them” to take them because I am so scared :(
      I can’t say that it’s yet made me change my day to day other than to appreciate it so much more, knowing how fleeting life is… and crap. well thank you for writing this!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • May - I understand why you would lay in the dark and think such thoughts. That family history is pretty compelling. And now I am left to wonder if there is a mere $50 difference for the better test, how can the insurance companies ethically not see that we all are offered that test.
    May recently posted…TToT: ThanksgivingMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 3:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I can understand why you would lay awake at night thinking about your boobs. I would too. At least you’re being proactive with the extra screening. Good for you!
    That Lizzi….she sure can spin a tale, can’t she? I loved this. Of course, I always love her fiction pieces. And her non-fiction pieces. And her. And you.
    Good work, my friends.
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Doing Nothing Is Doing SomethingMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 9:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Considerer - DA, I’m finding a trail of lovely comments from you all over the place today, and it’s turning my heart all sparkly and my face all smiley. Thank you so much, now and always, for your encouragement and the way you’re so enthusiastic about the things I write.

      You happify me :) <3
      Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 11:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I wish there was more to do with the screening and YES Lizzi can tell a great tale! I’d asked for a happy ending and got it! :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 7:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I laughed and snorted out loud through all of these comments…proof that there is just a lovely little bit of immaturity in all of us! I howled at Sarah’s reaction to Clark’s “breasteses” the most.
    I’m glad you think about your boobies and that you got your mammogram – got mine, too! And I SO did the 3D thing because how awesome is that? I was worried about this mammo for some reason – can’t explain why. But all is well and I was so happy for them that I bought the girls some new bras.
    Great story, Lizzi!November 23, 2014 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Considerer - Thanks Lisa :) I enjoyed writing this one. Kristi wanted a happy ending :)
      Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 11:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The comments are almost as good as the story, Lisa!! I mean yeah, Clark typing “breasteses” is pretty awesome… and Sarah’s reaction even BETTER!! HAHAH YAy for mammograms! Good for you (and I was worried too…. I guess I always am… feel those boobies in the shower!!! Also yay for new bras. Funny that you bought them after your successful mammogram! :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 7:33 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Beautiful.
    Amazing Post.
    This is what blogging is about :) Xxxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…6 Early Signs of Domestic AbuseMy ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca Hill Erwin - Boob boomity BOOM! So many reasons to be grateful for boobs, and knowledge. You feel about cancer the way I feel about suicide-too many lost. Now, I may need to think of 10 reasons I’m thankful for boobies…November 24, 2014 – 2:11 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - Ooh your story had me reading, Kristi! I wasn’t expecting the end :) So lovely.

    Hoping that your family history will spare you. I have two relatives who fought/are fighting breast cancer, and it’s rough.
    Nina recently posted…Why I Don’t Feel Bad for Not Taking Many Photos of My KidsMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

  • Gretchen - I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this. I was selfish and chose for Lizzi to write me a letter (which I absolutely do not regret) but I am so glad you chose for her to write a story for you! I was completely drawn in and I want to read more! Lizzi, I knew you were a talented writer, but I didn’t know you could write like THIS. A beautiful and touching story, I feel emotionally invested in Oliver already. And Olivia! I almost started crying with that last line!
    Gretchen recently posted…OMG, Time Magazine- You’re So Cray CrayMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 10:04 amReplyCancel

    • Considerer - Aw Gretchen, that’s such a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much. And you weren’t selfish! You JOINED IN! You DONATED! You HELPED ME KICK CANCER’S ASS. FO REAL! And that’s huge, and hugely un-selfish. And I loved writing your letter-for-real to you :D

      I’m smiling because Kristi wanted more of this story, too. Hmmm perhaps I could make it happen one day. I have more Anitra owing at the moment. But this is lovely to know. Thank you.
      Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 12:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I almost asked for a letter as well but was honestly a little curious how her happy ending (part of my “demand”) would be because so much of her fiction is scary and/or dark… and well, I was not disappointed at all!!!
      I want more of Oliver and Olivia too!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 7:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I would lay awake every night, had I that family history. Heck, there’s a slight chance of heart disease and that does keep me up sometimes.
    I rise to Lizzi’s challenge!
    And what a compelling story. I had to come back to it because my a-hole cold wouldn’t allow me to keep my eyes open last night.
    Glad I came back.
    Tamara recently posted…The Heart of the Matter.My ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 10:12 amReplyCancel

    • Considerer - Ooooh which bit of what challenge are you rising to, Tamara? I’d love to know :D

      And thank you – I’m glad you like the story so much.
      Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 12:06 pmReplyCancel

      • Tamara - The challenge to donate – NOW – or in my case, later today because I’m couch-bound with the worst cold ever.
        I’m thinking of doing something along the lines for a childhood friend who has a two-year-old with a rare brain tumor.
        Tamara recently posted…The Heart of the Matter.My ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

        • Considerer - Oh bless your boots for doing that. And it sounds like you’ve got a really good cause to donate to. What an awful situation for your friend to be in :( I hope the fundraising is sufficient to help her kid.

          *grins* I didn’t just challenge, though – I offered writing in return for the donation, so…let me know if you want anything. I love that you’re so willing to participate anyway, but the offer’s there.
          Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 12:34 pmReplyCancel

          • Tamara - I’m totally considering the offer! I just have to get off the couch first.. I’ll let you know!
            Tamara recently posted…The Heart of the Matter.My ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 5:27 pm

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah. It’s hard, that stuff that keep us up at night and you should SO do Lizzi’s challenge! You’ll love it and weep to having an asshole cold. I hope you’re way better now!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 7:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Lizzi is such a good writer. This was excellent! I loved your speal about your boobs, too. JR weaned at 27 months and it has only been about 4 months since then so I’m in the beeping phase haha. It’s been a little strange with him not nursing, but I’m getting used to our cuddles without him nursing. He still searches to feel my boobs and he just pats them and says “boo boo” and then lays his head on me. :)
    Brittnei recently posted…Life Is GoodMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 11:26 amReplyCancel

    • Considerer - Awh JR’s so cute. We had a giggle yesterday when Neff measured his height against me and was discovered to be ‘half a boob’ tall.

      And thank you :) I’m glad you enjoyed the story so much :)
      Considerer recently posted…Lebkuchen RecipeMy ProfileNovember 24, 2014 – 12:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree, Brittnei! Thanks too for loving my speal about my boobs! HAHA to being in the beeping phase. I hate to tell you but it’ll maybe last a while… I think it’s them remembering that they used to have free access. I did “baby led weaning” with Tucker, so he directed when he was ready to be done (which I think is the kinder, gentler, more nature-way of doing but also would have cut that shit off if he’d been like four years old or whatever that Time magazine chick’s kid was) and it worked really well. AWWW to him just laying his head on you! Kids are so awesome. What we sacrifice with our bodies for them is just inspiring… and I’m shudding up because I know Lizzi wants this part of sacrifice more than anything and I’d never want to sound like I’m complaining – I’m not..

      And YES, she kicks ASS at writing and cancer fighting!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 8:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - What a great story! Lizzi you are one talented woman. Thanks for sharing the story she wrote and what a great cause!November 24, 2014 – 12:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy Christi - She is such an amazing writer! Love love love her fiction. She is using her gift in the best possible way, love it!
    Sorry you know so many who have been called to this ugly war. You’re right, it needs to be put in it’s place, at the BACKBURNER of our lives. One of my first volunteer regulars was with the Breast Cancer 3-Day. So many great women fighting, have fought, will fight. More winners than ever before, so that’s a beautiful thing! Thank you, both of you beautiful women, for fighting! You butt kickers, you!November 25, 2014 – 2:41 amReplyCancel

  • Michele - Thank you to both Kristi and Lizzi for joining in the fight against this dreadful disease, and adding to the stock of beautifully written pieces as you do it. My 7-year cancerversary is on Sunday, and although I’m in good health, it’s never far from my mind, so it means so much to have you collaborating like this! Kristi, I hope and trust that your vigilance will keep you in good health, and Lizzi, I’d love to read more of this story!!
    Michele recently posted…Katie’s First Weeks, An Illustrated NarrativeMy ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 10:31 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Wonderful post! Honest, direct, delightful. Love the story!
    Elizabeth recently posted…NOT THIS YEARMy ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 10:48 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Have you been holding out on getting a boobs mashed? With family history I’ve been getting them since I was 35. With two re-screens, my boobs have been mashed TEN TIMES. The apprehension is always the same but it could be me because I’m no better than when I get my teeth cleaned and I wait for them to say no cavities.

    The first time my brother beeped me, we were still taking baths together. They were nubs and that was my last bath with him. LOL!

    Loved Lizzi’s story – she’s got skills!
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…A Cure for Writer’s Cramp…My ProfileNovember 26, 2014 – 6:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I was holding out and I know I know I know (I am horrible about doctors and dentists) but I did get my first this year and will go all the time. Also, last time dentist? Got the cavity alert and haven’t been in to have them filled because I’m a CHICKEN!!! I’m impressed you’ve been getting the boobie mashing for like YEARS!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 26, 2014 – 7:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - A beautiful post by both of you!!
    Roshni recently posted…Welcome Home!My ProfileNovember 26, 2014 – 11:37 pmReplyCancel

There have been times in my life when I’ve had to tell friends and family “Stop! I can’t take it! I’m gonna die laughing!” Those moments include some awesome stories. There’s the one about my work colleague getting too drunk to find his hotel room, being broomed off of a doorstep, getting into a tranny hooker’s car, […]

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  • Dana - Oh, Kristi – this was not what I was expecting. Wow. I wouldn’t know what to feel either. It sounds like a mess of a situation, but a Baby. A Baby is not a mess. I hope when life shows you want to feel, it’s something good.
    Dana recently posted…Tequila and testiclesMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 10:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Not really what I was expecting to write either and not really what I wanted to write but I guess getting all real and stuff is what happens when I only have 30 minutes? Or else maybe this has been killing me… and I just needed hub’s permission to say so… more likely and thank you. I hope life shows me the way on this too….
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 12:08 amReplyCancel

  • michelle - Heartbreaking. I hope the best for your step daughter..for your family and for the new baby on the way.
    michelle recently posted…Search Term Tuesday: I Left The Most Disturbing OutMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom - Not what I was expecting either. But then, I love your honesty. Your truthfulness reminds me why blogging is so special. It really lets us be ourselves at times when we need it most. Thanks for sharing and all the best for navigating this difficult (?) , hopeful (?) experience.
    Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…When I Met Rick SpringfieldMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Don - I had to type in a bunch of crap to be able to comment on my phone, but a 20 year old pregnant stripper story HAD to be commented on! Lol. Sorry. What a train wreck. I will admit that I’m secretly hoping you guys raise this baby. Shhhhhh. Also, my youngest aunt is 4 years older than me so it’s only a little trashier than you probably think it is.November 20, 2014 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - God you’re such a whiny baby. Use the Facebook comments? Except um thanks for the gigantic effort because I know it cost you finger skin and time and stuff for real..
      You have an aunt that’s 4 y older than you? All of life is trashier than we think I guess huh? And dude thanks again for the big effort of typing your comment. :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 12:14 amReplyCancel

  • Vanessa D. - Oh wow. Sometimes life hands us some really tough ones. I hope that somehow things work out as best they can. There’s always hope – however small – that this baby will give her the incentive she needs to start sorting out her life.
    Vanessa D. recently posted…Tomato Soup CakeMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - You shared this is the best possible arena Kristi. May you find comfort here in the comments. Jumbo hugs to you.November 20, 2014 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Not knowing is the worst. I’m sorry you are going through this. I wish life would show me how I feel about certain things too. I know it will work out the way it is supposed to work out, or it will just work out the way it works out, which could be, Not Good. But I hope it doesn’t. Please keep us posted. I’m sure this is not the end to this story. I think you may be about to take a ride on a long and winding, hellacious roller coaster. :-(
    Hugs coming your way.
    Linda Atwell – Out One Ear recently posted…Special Needs: Emotional Support Animals Are ImportantMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 12:12 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks for the hugs, Linda. I so appreciate them and yeah, the hellacious roller coaster is what I’m dreading the most. The knowing and the coming back and moving forward and drama drama drama… that part sucks. I know what you mean about it working out the way it works out… and I hope it’s as Not Good as possible…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - Kristi, I can’t even imagine. I felt every bit of the “not knowing” with you as I read this. Life is so hard and the answers, well, how do you even know if you are hoping for the best thing. I guess the best comfort for anyone is knowing you are there if/when needed. You are strong, smart and will do the best in whatever situation this (she?) brings about. I’m not saying it will be easy but thank goodness you are in a position of offering stability and support and probably most important – love. Good luck with everything. I’ll be thinking of you.November 21, 2014 – 12:15 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Whoops! You need to add your linky jobby …November 21, 2014 – 3:07 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Oh my gosh what an intense life period for everyone involved right now, Kristi. First and foremost, my prayers and blessings are sent to the families involved, you, “Kari” and the unborn child. I do hope you will let this marinate for a bit, sit with it in your heart and soul…and then as you say allow Life to see where it’s meant to take you. Powerful post, my dear friend…
    Mike recently posted…On Board The ‘Star of Kenmare’My ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 3:11 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Mike,
      Yeah, it’s been pretty intense around here. Plus, my husband is having surgery (minor – he has an umbilical hernia) on Monday so that’s been on everybody’s mind as well… the scheduling getting him to the hospital, Tucker to school (maybe) and whether we’ll do anything for Thanksgiving… thanks so much for your awesome love and support always.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Aww, Kristi I can’t even begin to imagine, but truly hoping for things to turn out ok with your step-daughter but am definitely not naive enough to think otherwise. Keeping my fingers crossed and sending good thoughts your way now, too.November 21, 2014 – 3:12 amReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - oops I already hit publish on mine ….. no linky :)November 21, 2014 – 3:12 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Oh. Wow. This is a part of your life about which I had no idea. I read the backstory post to which you linked. It’s heartbreaking for your husband and you, and my heart goes out to you. I wish I had some wise words to share with you; to make it all work out. But I don’t, other than to say that you have such good instincts and that I hope and pray that you’ll be able to help your step-daughter find some peace. I’m sending you some big hugs!!!!!November 21, 2014 – 3:22 amReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - I do hope that everything works out for the best with your grandchild and step-daughter.November 21, 2014 – 3:26 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Wow that was deep ans sincere. I think sometimes we are left in the dark because whatever is next can’t be planned. I hate finding myself in limbo. It truly is a time you can’t move forward without knowing but in actuality you really can. I hope you find so peace in today until life moves you out of limbo and you can know “what” to feel about. As Scarlet O’Hara would do – worry about it tomomorrow (everyday).November 21, 2014 – 3:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I don’t like limbo either, Kenya. As much as I’d love for Tucker to have a “sibling” this is not the best way… and I just fear the back and forth forever ya know? And thank you – excellent advice on worrying about tomorrow every day. Including days with ketchup and copper ;) Seriously though, thank you!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 8:52 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - Having my sibs son all no can say is things have a way of reaching an equillibrium. The suffering is so tough and I cant tellNovember 21, 2014 – 4:17 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - Dammit! I hit post! Anyway I’m so sorry this is happening this way. Xo zoeNovember 21, 2014 – 4:19 amReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - wow! I love your attitude, Kristi and I wish you n your family peace

    xoxoNovember 21, 2014 – 4:38 amReplyCancel

  • karen - oh boy, what a situation, I can’t even imagine all the feelings that come with this. I pray that your step daughter and grandchild are safe. I pray that she makes the right decision whatever that may be. Either way, I know you will be there. ((HUGS))
    karen recently posted…Driving on IceMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 4:44 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - I don’t know what to say Kristi. I just hope she makes the best decision. And I also hope that you are okay, sounds like a really tough situation to be in, especially when she cut you off like that. Hugs!
    Jhanis recently posted…I thought I was going to die but I just needed to peeMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 6:44 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Holy cr** Kristi. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what to say. I think what you’re feeling is normal and totally appropriate in a situation like this.November 21, 2014 – 8:03 amReplyCancel

  • Scott - It’s an incredibly tough situation. The twins became uncles when they were 13. It’s a different situation, but there are parallels. I worried about the little girl I helped raise and her blown chance for higher education. I was assured she would still go to school. A year later she’s back home living with her mother, not attending school, and working a dead-end job. She’ll be 20 in March.
    Scott recently posted…Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (or more likely, Hell’s Gate)My ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 8:51 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - This morning Brian said, “I’m really sad that Kristi’s stepdaughter is pregnant.” And I was like, what? Kristi? Evidently, my husband reads your blog posts before I do.

    I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have this burden to carry. I wish you could have the baby as your own. I wish Kari would suddenly grow up and become a model citizen. This situation sucks balls, and I’m sorry.
    Sarah recently posted…TToT52: That’s One Whole Year, Friends!My ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 9:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sarah. So, um, is it really super weird that it brings me unbelievable happiness that Brian reads this blog??? Hm. Maybe. Still though that makes me happy – please tell him thank you from me (or Brian if you’re reading this THANK YOU).
      And yeah, thank you for wishing I could have this baby as my own – I wish that too… and wish that I were 10 years younger and could make these choices and wish for acceptance and hope for everybody and well, wish all of the wishes… and yeah, Kari will probably maybe never (not soon) grow up? Total ball suck. Thank you. We still need to find a day to meet at the park!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Wow Kristi – I feel like this is one of those situations where there just isn’t a clearcut best or right choice. And although no one is ever ready for a baby, there are certain situations that seem so obvious to us, the outsiders, where having a baby would be a huge mistake. All I know is she is extremely lucky to have a stepmom like you, who would be more than willing to care for the baby if need be. I know what you mean when you say you want her to do something that you don’t want her to do — makes perfect sense to me. And the fact now you haven’t heard from her – sooo hard. Thinking of you all and hope to hear a positive update soon. xo
    Emily recently posted…The Incredible Growing DudeMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 9:53 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - HUGS to you! I am glad you were able to be honest here and let it out a bit. So much I could say, but can’t say here. I’ll email you & really, really wish we were closer so we could go hang out over coffee or alcohol. :-)
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…The Pros and Cons of Life with a Traveling SpouseMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 10:25 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I wouldn’t know what to feel.. I’d probably be spiraling ahead in my mind and thinking that I’d raise and love a baby I could one day lose. That’s how I’d think but I’m often nuts.
    Thinking of you a lot.
    Tamara recently posted…I Thought I was Going To Die When..My ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - What a super hard situation for all of y’all!!! I can see why you want her to do something but you don’t and you don’t know what – hard to really know how to want this to work out.
    I hope that if she chooses to have the baby she lets you be a huge part of the baby’s life all the time!!!
    Kim recently posted…Does 8:00 AM Mean 8:45 AM?My ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 12:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Oh Kristi!!! Wow. Oh, how hard this must be for you!!!! My heart is twisted in knots right now thinking about your step daughter and the life she lives and the life she has inside of her… and the uncertainty of it all.

    Oh my gosh. Heavy weighted dread and despair and discontent hanging off of your heart, I’m sure. I am going to be praying for you, for this lost daughter of yours and this precious ‘on purpose’ babe that will surely bring meaning to the word miracle. I don’t know what that is… but as you grapple with it all, just know I am praying God’s Hand be on this entire situation and as it unfolds, may He use you in His Plan.

    Why is it that I want so badly for you to have this child?

    I don’t know. I don’t know anything. But God does. He knows everything. So I’m going to trust that.
    Chris Carter recently posted…Heaven Can Wait…My ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 1:11 pmReplyCancel

  • K - I don’t know the right words to say, or even if there ARE right words, but thank you so much for being so open. This sounds like a such a difficult (bittersweet??) situation. Sending lots of hugs!!November 21, 2014 – 1:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine - Gosh, what a raw, real post. I don’t really know what to say. I really hope that everything works out okay, and you’ve got to trust that it will do. I always say that everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright it’s not the end. I hope that this turns out to be a blessing in disguise!
    Catherine recently posted…Everyday Adventures: Casino NightMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 8:00 pmReplyCancel

  • jaklumen - I have yet to face this issue with a child under my care. But I have seen issues somewhat similar with friends and other family members.

    I believe in free will, and that is challenged a lot when I see people that I care very much about make choices that have very negative consequences for them. And I do know (especially with one of my sisters and a number of my cousins), that if things had been forced, they would have pushed away harder, and made choices even potentially more disastrous.

    My prayers, thoughts, and meditations are with you, if you wish.
    jaklumen recently posted…Another video about Joseph Campbell and the Hero’s JourneyMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - You are amazing. And everything about this post is amazing. Your honesty. Your confusion. That you shared it all. Come what may, this little baby and its bewildered mom are blessed to have you in their lives, in any way at all, even now. You have taught me a gigantic lesson in these words: I am waiting for Life to show me how I feel. Wishing you strength and love.November 21, 2014 – 8:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Sending you love and prayers. I have no words, and not everything happens for a good reason but pray for you and this situation
    Courtney recently posted…Photographs Lie and Tell the TruthMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 9:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele - Oh, Kristi, what a tough spot you are all in. Thank you for trusting your readers with such difficult information and feelings, and for being willing to admit that you’re not sure what to think just yet. I use my blog to sort through some of my feelings, too — sometimes you just need to get them out to figure them out. I’ll be thinking of your family and wishing you peace in the days and weeks ahead.
    Michele recently posted…Katie’s First Weeks, An Illustrated NarrativeMy ProfileNovember 21, 2014 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Michele. I wasn’t sure about sharing this but in the end, I had to ask myself why – was I embarrassed? Didn’t want to make readers and friends uncomfortable? I couldn’t think of a good reason not to share and you’re so right that writing about the hard stuff and getting feedback from others is such a help…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 11:55 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Aw crap. I have All The Feels for you, my friend. I wish I had any idea at all of what to say to be supportive but I just don’t know. The only thing I’d stipulate is ‘live baby -good; dead baby – bad’. And I don’t care what kind of controversy that causes – I’ll defend it to the hilt cos…well. You know. But I hope it works out. BUT, even if it’s a mess (when isn’t it?) and it’s all over the place and not how you would have preferred, that baby will know that his/her grandma LOVES him/her.November 21, 2014 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - This is so intense, Kristi. I think you wrote about it beautifully and honestly, especially considering what a totally complicated subject it is. Thanks for being so transparent about the fact that you don’t really know how you feel about it. This isn’t easy stuff to process, and it was generous of you to let us all in like this. I’m sending you lots of love and positive energy as your whole family navigates this. xoxoNovember 22, 2014 – 12:08 amReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Wow…this is heavy. Major decisions here. Kari does not sound at all like she is ready to raise a child, but you bring up so many valid points here. My heart goes out to you–not sure what I would think or do in this situation. I hope you will keep us posted on the situation. Hugs! XO
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Fly On The Wall In A Crazy HouseMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 12:15 amReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - Kristi. I have nothing but my heart for you. And in that heart I know that you will know what to feel, what to do. When the time comes. You are a clark, afterall:)November 22, 2014 – 7:30 amReplyCancel

  • April - I have a lot of this in my family. I have been put in the middle many times. Overall, I try not to get involved because no matter what, you’re going to be the bad guy… taking the child away from her mother, or giving her back when mom is clean… for now. I’m sorry that you are going through this. Maybe, just maybe, when she has the baby, she’ll look into those little eyes and realize that this wasn’t the life she wants for the little person. Maybe.November 22, 2014 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - You, your step-daughter and your whole family are in my heart and thoughts in this complicated time.
    Elizabeth recently posted…WHEN CARING HURTSMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Cathy Harlow - Life has a way of knocking you down every time you get your footing. We are all broken people with broken families. But they are the families God gave us. Grandmas have a special roll in a child’s life. You’ll make a great one. I can tell by the fact you offered to raise that baby immediately. <3 <3 <3November 22, 2014 – 12:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison Carter - Honestly, sometimes I hate life…I hate life because it is sticky and messy and bad things happen and good couples try so hard to have kids then some kids are born with the cards stacked against them and I would want to rush in, if I were you, and try to fix it all but we can’t. Because life is sticky and messy.
    Prayers for the baby….and I hope it ends up wtih you, too.November 22, 2014 – 12:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Tarana Khan - I do hope this baby brings about positive change in her life. Hugs to you for being so supportive x
    Tarana Khan recently posted…My son is ten, going on twenty! (Guest Post)My ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 3:07 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Kristi,
    The thing about blogging is that we get to peek into other people’s lives, experiences, situations, shit.
    We find out we are
    not. alone.
    And I cannot tell you how appreciative I am when they are honest about it.
    I have a friend/blogger/former stripper who I can contact if you need help.
    Her ministry is getting help for these women.
    Let me know, dearest. xxxxxxx
    Prayers from MN.
    My Inner Chick recently posted…6 Early Signs of Domestic AbuseMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 3:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kim,
      Being Not. Alone. is the very very very best part of sharing things that are uncomfortable to share. I really had a hard time deciding whether to publish this but it felt fake and crappy to not to… and the support has been so helpful. I will most definitely let you know what happens this next week – and once I know more would love to get in touch with your friend. Thank you. And thanks for the love and prayers.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…The Time I Thought I Would Probably Die When I Heard These WordsMy ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 6:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita Davis Sullivan - We’ve been in a fairly similar situation with family and I’m still waiting to know what I’d even want, and that baby is only days away. I’m glad there’s new life to love, but not sure how/if she’ll take care and we would but have those same fears.
    Praying for your family.November 22, 2014 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - Oh Kristi…
    My sister will be delivering a baby in the next few weeks. She has been addicted to pain meds for years. As in purposely getting in accidents to get prescriptions and getting arrested for falsifying other prescriptions. The father is a convicted sex offender. When he was 28, he raped his girlfriend’s (and mother of his then baby)14 year old niece more than once. My sister currently lives with him. In a house my stepmother bought and furnished for them.
    I have told my dad that if that baby is born addicted to drugs, I will be happy to take her. If anything happens later on, I’ll be happy to take her.
    I pray for both of our relatives and their babies. We have no idea what the future will be for any of them. We just need to be available for those babies and do the best we can to be the best influence we can as often as we can.
    christine recently posted…I’m 43. Yay Me. TToT Week 75My ProfileNovember 22, 2014 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh no!! Christine! I’m so sorry that your sister is in the same situation (and how awful to get into accidents to get prescriptions! Ugh). And worse that the father raped his niece :( I’ll pray for your sister and your whole family and for my step daughter as well. Hugs you. And sigh… Thanks so much for making me remember that I’m not alone in this…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Sometimes I Stare at My Ceiling and Think About My Boobs. And Cancer.My ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 6:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Wow, Kristi. That’s big. But I think waiting for Life to show you how to feel is all you can do. I also think there are 1000s of stories of women whose epiphany to change their lives happens when they become mothers, so we can hope for that. All you can do is the next right thing for the person in front of you. Support her in a healthy way, take care of that baby if that’s what ends up happening…hang in there, friend. Something tells me this baby is likely a gift in a way you don’t even know yet. xoxox
    Lisa recently posted…Are We There Yet?My ProfileNovember 23, 2014 – 11:50 amReplyCancel

  • Robbie - I wish I had words to make sense of all this. I work with these mothers, these children. The road is so rough and long and sometimes goes nowhere. But sometimes it brings the changes that are needed. Sending you strength on this journey.
    Robbie recently posted…Question TagMy ProfileNovember 25, 2014 – 11:42 amReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Hall - I want to be optimistic and say, maybe a baby will straighten her out. It’s been known to happen. But of course I know where you’re coming from. I love what you said about waiting for life to tell you how to feel.November 25, 2014 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

My husband Robert almost missed the birth of our little boy because we were arguing while I was in labor. After 13 weeks of bedrest and a few scares, I was more than ready to have my son. The day had finally arrived, and we headed up to the hospital. Once we finally got set up […]

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Every once in a while, when I’m writing, working, parenting, or life living, I wonder whether I’d act or do the same were I being filmed. Sometimes, this works out well for me. I’ll engage more completely in the moment, I’ll act with more patience and kindness, and I’ll remember to stand up straight and […]

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  • Janine Huldie - I absolutely love your dad’s advice and couldn’t agree more with it. I also remember a time when this wasn’t true in my younger days, but now I can honestly say I very much don’t care and pretty much do what I feel is right and needs to be done for my family and myself, too.November 13, 2014 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Excellent advice, and advice I would love to follow 100% of the time. I don’t, but I’m working on it. It’s become easier as I get older, I think. Some days. Some days I need your father to whack me on the forehead and say “Fuck what other people think.”
    Dana recently posted…Of Dadvice and ugly shirtsMy ProfileNovember 13, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - It’s the best advice yet it seems to be the hardest advice to follow in our world. I feel like I’m much better at it at this age than I ever was and it seems to get better as the years go by. If I did care as much as I used to, I don’t think I would have shared as much as I have on my blog about me and my family and I probably would still be in contact with my extended family. Sometimes, deep down inside, I still care what “they” think, meaning a lot of people, but I fight the urge to care and simply do what I know is true to me anyway. We talked about this before. We can never know what makes people truly make the decisions they make so really we can never have an opinion about it.
    Brittnei recently posted…Support Systems Really MatterMy ProfileNovember 13, 2014 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Brittnei, it is SO hard to follow and I know we’ve had a lot of conversations about it – probably, they were what helped me to remember this advice so thank you for that! And yeah, it’s hard to forget or to ignore what “they” think… but really, we just can’t know what other people’s motivations are and can only live life for ourselves, as free as possible… with respect and all of that too. it’s hard…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 1:21 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Oh how I wish I could listen to this choice piece of advice ALL OF THE TIME. I’ve heard it before of course. But do I listen to it? Sometimes. Not always. So, after your dad whacks Dana on the forehead please send him over to my house. Many, many thanks.November 13, 2014 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - Excellent advice from your dad and so true. Once we really learn to not care not what others think we can live for ourselves and our family.
    karen recently posted…Dad’s Best AdviceMy ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 2:10 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - It’s ironic in a way…just MY opinion…that for all intents and purposes (or intensive purposes lol) we shouldn’t care what other people think. Yet, sometimes if we are being a jerk (and we really truly are) other people pointing that out can be a good thing. That’s just one of many examples – but ones that I think we should care what others think. On the other side of the coin in the many, wonderful, spot on examples you gave…I agree with you 100%, Kristi! And your Dad gave you great life advice. This was a really good make-you-think post. Also ironic with you mentioning procrastination as literally pulling into the garage after work tonight I thought of that EXACT word. I came in and saw your new post waiting…and lookee what part of it is regarding. Many hugs to you always, my friend! :)
    Mike recently posted…On Board The ‘Star of Kenmare’My ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 2:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mike,
      I didn’t think about that aspect of it – that we do need people to point out when we’re being a jerk sometimes. That’s a good reminder that sometimes it does matter what people think – so thank you! I guess I was thinking more about hard decisions, like moving for a job and stuff.
      Yeah…the procrastination bug is a hard one to get rid of. Mostly, I’ve accepted it and use waiting to the last minute as motivation. Sometimes, that even works for me ;)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - I agree on your dad’s advise. We ought to live our life on our terms cause people love to talk…and to comment is their birthright…lol
    so, might as well live and let live others in peace.–motto!November 14, 2014 – 3:27 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks - Wow…

    A. I totally love the camera concept. I think a lot of people would behave differently not just because they are concerned with how other people think, but also because it would act as a “truth” device to let the world know how they really are sometimes (when at their worst). Like had that camera been there, you probably would have been nicer to that one girl. I think that because sometimes I feel like I’m the camera. Being a writer, everything I see and experience has a chance to make its way to the internet, and some people don’t like it when I write about them honestly. I always tell them, “Maybe you should just behave the way you’d want me to write about you.”

    B. I go through phases. Around people, when I’m there, in the moment, I don’t give a fuck about what they think. But when I walk away from it, alone, I start to care a little. I spent years trying to find a healthy balance between doing my thing with no concern to other people’s half-assed opinions (and they are half-assed, nobody researches my life enough to be more qualified than I on the subject), and the other side of the equation, caring about what they think, building the PR image my father wanted me to have for his professional sake. The same PR image that gave him the network he needed to get some free services from an attorney friend, or have a cop drive pass the house every hour while he was out of town and I was trying to throw a party…

    But then I read gold when I was googling something completely unrelated, but since there was obviously no search results for it, I got all these results for sales and marketing, and the psychology behind, “Controlling people,” and in it, it said, “People don’t know what to think until you tell them what to think.” Now that, I like. I haven’t really explored the concept to the fullest yet, but it’s a concept I’m starting to think about more.
    Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks recently posted…Fatherly Advice from the World’s Greatest DadMy ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 9:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michelle – what an awesome awesome comment. Thank you. I love your line of telling people to behave in the way that they’d want you to write about them – it’s true that the camera would be a truth device. I also know what you mean about walking away from a conversation and then wondering what people think – it’s hard to not worry about how we come across, especially when it’s something we really believe in. I ask myself all the time what to disclose and what to not disclose, what’s being genuine and what’s TMI for the other person. I also wonder if what I said was interpreted in the way in which I intended it to be. So often, people interpret things with their own filters that our points may get lost. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be but still I think about it.
      It’s true, too that people don’t know what to think until they’re told what to think. I find that sad and also empowering I guess. It’s weird though and something definitely worth spending more time considering.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - When I was in 8th grade, my friends and I got together on the weekend that one of our peeps couldn’t make it. There was five of us that clung together and ruled the school. (yeah- I know- shame) When we hung out that day, we decided to make our foursome a club!! We declared us the “Faggy Four” and wrote up a contract and actually went and got t shirts that had our new ‘nicknames’ on them and wore them to school on Monday… (I was Shmoe- if you were wondering)

    From that weekend on, we completely ignored this fifth friend. She was OUT.

    She also was the only kid in town who had parents who recently divorced… and the family was broken and wounded.

    To this day- I am both ashamed and appalled at myself. I too, want so badly to find her and beg her forgiveness for doing something so devastating to her at such a traumatic time in her life.

    It still sickens me to this day.

    Peer pressure. Insecurity. Needing to be loved and accepted.

    Why does it take years to finally ‘get it’?

    At least we do now.
    Chris Carter recently posted…Blessings in DisguiseMy ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 11:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris! Thank you for sharing your 8th grade story. What a painful memory. I don’t know why it takes years to “get it” and I just wish I’d gotten it when I was a tween because while I understand that all of us just want to be loved and accepted, why does that have to come through rejecting others? So awful. But yeah, at least we do get it now. At least we remember the shame and the pain of hurting another and can hopefully guide our children to both be included and also to include everybody. xxoo
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 1:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m sure my dad would have never used the f-word, but he gave this same advice. My husband gives it to me, too. Why is it easier for men??? I struggle with this so much. It’s part of the reason I have body image issues – I feel like people are judging me, even though they probably aren’t. It’s a constant struggle, butI’m getting a little better about it.
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…When Is Your Child Old Enough To Stay Home Alone?My ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 12:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I don’t know why it’s easier for men, Lisa! Maybe because they’re more shallow and self-centered? Maybe because they’re raised with more confidence? I wish I had the answer. Also, I met you in person and promise that you’re beautiful – inside and out. The body image thing. Sigh. Why do we feel powerful when we’re thin and just judged and weak when we’re not? Why do we think it matters – that annoying size on our pants? I’m working on that too…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 1:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Scott - Your father was right. I generally don’t care about the opinions of others…unless that person is important to me. I value your opinion, for instance, because I respect you and think you’re a wonderful human being. If, however, some idiot I didn’t know told me I suck I wouldn’t care.
    Scott recently posted…My Father’s Best AdviceMy ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 2:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - My dad’s advice was totally opposite but also a totally different scenario. He always told me to care what people thought in terms of being the best professional where I worked. (We used to work in the same building) which probably mostly meant don’t make him look bad. LOL

    Aside from that though I give Christopher the same advice (without the F of course). It’s so hard to adhere to in school but since I don’t want him to ever jump off a roof I tell him all the time not to worry about what people think of him. At this age he’s the good guy and in the eyes of classmates, that’s not always a good thing either.

    Anyway now that my dad is retired I can assure you he doesn’t give a rat’s booty what people think of him now. LOL!
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…Facebook always has the backstory…My ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 2:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA to it meaning don’t make him look bad, Kenya! That’s funny. I do care what people think of course, but really try not to when it comes to big decisions. I used to obsess over making big decisions and I found that I was thinking too much about what other people thought I should do rather than just thinking it through myself if that makes sense.
      Aw, to Christopher being the good guy… hard when we’re not sure whether certain personality traits in our kids are good things or not.
      HAHA to rat’s booty!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That’s hilarious, right? That you procrastinating reading an article about procrastination?
    My dad gave me the same advice. He’s had to live by it because he was born with a birthmark over half his face. I don’t see it. Other people do.
    Tamara recently posted…There is a Third.My ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 4:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - So…you’re still gonna procrastinate?

    Awesome advice though, and I’m GLAD that you’re trying your best to live it (and teach it) :)November 14, 2014 – 6:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel the Alien - I’ve gotten that advice from people too! A similar thing I tell myself is that no matter what you do, you won’t make EVERYONE happy. I also recently found a college paper I wrote a long time ago for some philosophy class, and the basic message I wrote about is, everything you do, do out of love. If you are doing something to hurt someone else, or even just to please someone else because its easiest, stop and rethink it. If you are doing something out of love (for instance, probably EVERYTHING you do for your son) then you are on the right track.
    Angel the Alien recently posted…I’m Getting Paid For This?My ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 6:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I love your father’s advice!! My father’s best advice was to take a public speaking class in college. I didn’t write about it, because well, that’s kind of mundane, but for a shy college student like myself, it was the best thing I could have done for myself…and one of my favorite classes at college! I still suck at (and dislike) speaking in front of crowds, but at least now I can do it if I have to!
    Emily recently posted…When Losing Is Also FunMy ProfileNovember 14, 2014 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - I think I might love your dad. That is maybe the best dad advice I’ve ever heard. I do that same thing! Imagining what it would be like if I were in a movie while living… sometimes I imagine it differently, like, “What if I were watching this as a movie, and I knew it would turn out all right in the end. Could i relax a little bit more and enjoy it?” This was so thought-provoking- I really loved it.November 14, 2014 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Best. Advice. Ever. But how how how to put it into mindful practice? That’s what I struggle with. My mind and my heart refuse to cooperate sometimes, especially around caring what others think. But I imagine when you hear your dad say that to, F-word and all, it might make it easier to really let go. G-d bless your awesome dad! And I just love your compassion for the little girl at camp.November 14, 2014 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

  • April Grant - I love that advice. I give it to my son all the time! Well, without Fuck. He’s had people call him names and we go through each one to see if any are valid. Sometimes they are… He IS weird, but that makes him, him.November 15, 2014 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • Pattie Thomas - Best advice ever about not caring what other people think. Your dad was on time with his advice. You rockNovember 15, 2014 – 2:17 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - I enjoyed reading about your 80’d life – much more interesting than mine! But then you already knew that…

    I have to take a little issue with the advice that your father gave you. It’s not that we should not care about what other people think. It’s just that we should let what other people think stop us from doing what we know to be right. There is a difference. What other people think matters to Tucker and to my son. But we shouldn’t stop doing what is right for our kids because other don’t yet understand. Perhaps we can help them grow?November 15, 2014 – 3:09 amReplyCancel

  • Ripped Jeans & Bifocals - Love. Your post made me a little emotional. In a good way. I could probably think of something more eloquent to say, but I’ll just give you a virtual fist bump, K?November 15, 2014 – 5:29 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - This makes me think of the old saying I try hard to live by every day. “What other people think of me is none of my business.” I do the best I can every day and I get nowhere near perfect. It doesn’t matter. I happen to think you’re terrific. Just the way you are. I prefer true people that say what they mean and mean what they say and you are most definitely one of those people. You just keep doing what you’re doing.
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Something Worth ReadingMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 11:17 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - ***biggest dream is to change how the world feels about autism and special needs***

    You. Are. YOU ARE!

    You know what? If I worried about what other people thought of my all the time, I’d never press publish on my blogs or write, or live my life the fullest, or….

    xxxx kISS from MN.November 15, 2014 – 11:42 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - I wish I had cared less about what other people thought when I was younger. I’m like you know and don’t live my life trying to please others – so much easier and more freeing!!!
    Kim recently posted…A Little Break Is Starting to Spiral out of Control (11/9 – 11/15)My ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 5:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine - Your father is obviously a very wise man :) It’s so true though, whatever walk of life you’re from there’s no point in worrying what others think!
    Catherine recently posted…6 Top Tips For Visiting IndiaMy ProfileNovember 16, 2014 – 10:09 amReplyCancel

  • Kate (Shakespeare's Mom) - I related to this so much. I too have come a long way since those childhood days of caring so much about what others think of me, but I still struggle with it sometimes. And as for procrastinating – me too!! Great post.
    Kate (Shakespeare’s Mom) recently posted…What the Hell Happened to Bedtime?!?My ProfileNovember 16, 2014 – 2:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison McGrath Smith - I love your dad’s advice and think you should have it painted on a plaque! Barrett was five too, with the diaper thing. Congratulations! As foe dad’s advice, as wise as it us, why is it so hard?November 16, 2014 – 3:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry Benson - Love this advice! It definitely takes practice to stop worrying so much about others’ opinions, but it’s so worth it! :)November 16, 2014 – 6:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Moskowitz Sadikman - Yes, yes and yes! A few years ago a close friend of mine told me: “What other people think of you is none of your business.” I swear, it was so freeing to hear that. Of course it’s taken some work to actually put that belief into practice, to remember that what’s really important is what we think about ourselves and our actions, that we’re true to our values and our loved ones first. Great reminder and great post!November 16, 2014 – 6:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - That is awesome advice and one I should probably remember. I have my 25th reunion coming up and am already worried about not measuring up (again) to the cool kids!
    Kerri recently posted…My Challenge: Coach EliMy ProfileNovember 17, 2014 – 1:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Lana - Your dad is one wise man. One of my hubby’s best traits is that he never cares what anybody else thinks – this doesn’t always make him the best employee, which is part of the reason we own our own business :) – but honestly, I admire him so much for it. I on the other hand am always worried about other people’s opinions, which is probably why I haven’t really flown on my blog. I LOVE that you are so true to yourself – I’m working on it!
    Lana recently posted…A Better Human BeingMy ProfileNovember 18, 2014 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - I remember my mom telling me once and I do not know where she got this from but she said “tread slowly, feelings are everywhere.”
    I live by those words. Although I have to admit that I forget once in a while. A lot. :(
    Jhanis recently posted…GIGA Naturally – Family Gift IdeasMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 4:15 amReplyCancel

  • Jana - It’s hard not to be influenced by what other people think — but your dad had it right. I try to remember not to take anything personally, because it’s not a problem with me — it’s the problem of the person who is doing the judging. I also try to be as honest and ethical as possible and to do my best (I don’t always succeed with doing my best — but I try every day). My goal in life is to have as much peace as I can in my life and to be as compassionate and loving as I can with others. Again, I’m not always successful — but I’m trying!
    Jana recently posted…I’m “Pissed†Off!My ProfileNovember 26, 2014 – 12:47 amReplyCancel

When I started this website, I’d already gotten through too-often shattered dreams and years and years of wanting to have a baby. When I started Finding Ninee, I’d already had my baby. Maybe this would be a different website or a different story, had I started it in younger years. Maybe it would be about […]

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  • Dana - He totally nailed the ending! I’m so glad that Tucker is surprising you in such good ways. He’s going to keep doing that, you know. And I hope he keeps dancing, too – it makes life more fun.
    Dana recently posted…The completely selfish gift guide: My Love ListMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 6:58 amReplyCancel

  • jt walters - Tucker has great taste. Alex thought Cars 2 was not amusing and did not watch it either.

    Tucker is making progress. Children with special needs teach us more about our humanity and our character than anyone else could.

    Have you considered Tucker might be a Math person?

    He is a beautiful young man and he completely nailed the ending! May he keep surprising you everyday! I know Alex does but less surprised and more shocked at times. And still yet, I too am grateful everyday for him.November 10, 2014 – 8:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He does have great taste!!! And I agree that kids with special needs teach us SO SO much about life, our character, and even other people’s characters – more than probably anything else does. He might be a math person. Weird thing? He scored WAY higher than the county standard on the word stuff. He just can’t say them always…. Here’s to being grateful, my fab friend. Always.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Robin - I always love your posts, so uplifting. And the video is so great! So true, the comment above about children w/special needs teaching us in so many ways, and I think it really helps them too as they get older, not only know their own differences but accept them in others too. My son is about to turn 10 and we have been talking about that more and more. There are definitely so many reasons to be thankful and there will be marked growth at every turn. Definitely need to be there with that video camera!November 10, 2014 – 8:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, thanks so very very much, Robin! I love the video too :) and it’s so true that all children teach us so much but those with special needs make us really take a step back to appreciate everything. Of course, it’s not always easy or awesome but when it is easy and awesome? It’s that much more so! Here’s to remembering the thankfuls and thanks to you so much for your great comment! I really appreciate it!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 11:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Maybe your love of words and movies are in place to be patient when Tucker doesn’t click with those things as easily. A parent who didn’t have such a great love perhaps would not persist and try again or rejoice in those small (yet so great) victories.
    I think you know my theory on this – the parents of special and high needs kids are the parents of those kids because they are the only parents that would work for that child. Does that make sense? As my Grandmother would say, “God knows what He’s doing – just go with it.”
    These are great things, Kristi! Huge hugs to all of you from all of us. XOXOXOXO
    Now I’m going to watch that video…November 10, 2014 – 9:21 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
      I always so very much cherish your comments and maybe you’re just exactly right – maybe, my love of words compensates for Tucker’s lack of loving them or maybe it just taught me to cherish the ones that he has all that much more. And yeah, it makes sense. Your Grandma sounds like a wise wise woman and hugs to you from here right back sweets. I have a feeling Tucker will crush on Kidzilla big time when he finally meets her!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 12:12 amReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Of course! Because Tucker and Zilla are both awesome! And when she gets a look at his dance moves, she’ll be totally sold!November 11, 2014 – 11:16 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - He DID totally nail the ending!!! SUPERB!!!!!!! Oh, how I love your words- YOUR words are ironically and purposefully giving Tucker words… YOU are his voicebox and YOU were made to help him through this new and design of redefining the power of words. His WILL come. And? The blessing here is that he DOES understand them…

    And I think how many in this world are unable to use words the way we ‘want’ them to…


    You, momma- know how to use them. You momma, will lovingly guide and teach your baby just how.
    Chris Carter recently posted…November…My ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 10:10 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Best post of the morning, my friend. I am so freaking happy you had that positive experience at the movies. It is amazing what they retain and can output isn’t it? The other day Bridget her a song from Sofia the 1st and started belting out the chorus. Amazeballs.
    Kerri recently posted…My Challenge: TamaraMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 11:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kerri –
      I am so freaking happy about the movie experience too. I truly never ever ever thought it would happen and when it did, it kinda did all the way which weird but I’ll so take it and yes to the amazing stuff that our kids get all of a sudden when we thought they weren’t even paying attention!! I need to see the video of Bridget doing Sophia – I know that it is incredible!! I’m so excited just reading those words!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 12:16 amReplyCancel

  • Scott - That video is amazing! He’s definitely got the moves like Jagger.
    Scott recently posted…I’m Not ReadyMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 12:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh, oh, oh – the movies!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, we’ve had our disasters. Ironically, the first movie I was able to get Bear to sit through – and in the theater, to boot! – was Cars 2. He loved it. Since then, I’ve taken him a couple of times – Frozen, Wreck It Ralph and the Lego Movie. We did it! It’s so gratifying to go as a family. I took the younger 3 to Alexander and the Terrible, etc, Day yesterday. You should take Tucker, because it was flippin hilarious! I didn’t bring Bear, because his class went last week, but I’m not sure if he would have sat that long, without animation. I’ll have to ask his teacher how he did. Anyhooo – baby steps! BTW – LOVE the dance moves. I could squeeze him.November 10, 2014 – 12:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - How funny that your first success with a movie was our gigantic “OMG he’ll NEVER be able to sit through a movie” experience!!! Seriously. He was crawling on the floor. Looking at the lights in the aisle and just OMG it was awful. I left crying sure we’d never do it.
      But yesterday? For real, he was like “That was incredible!” OMG these kids of ours. I guess it’s in their nature to surprise us but wow.
      I’m not sure about a movie without animation but I’m willing to try!!! I remember that book from when I was a kid!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 12:32 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - WE reached that turning point with Frozen. And then we discovered Toy Story. And now our DVD player is broken.
    Sarah recently posted…TToT51: Food and Frames and Not FreezingMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh yes, he absolutely nailed it! To this day, my Big Dude doesn’t really like to watch movies. It used to bother me, but now I know that unless it’s a documentary on basketball or a totally inappropriate movie like “Ted” he likely won’t last long. However, I’m NOT recommending you show “Ted” to Tucker — at least not yet. :)
    Emily recently posted…When Losing Is Also FunMy ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 5:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Uh oh… not even sure what “Ted” is and will, I guess, wait to find out??? Yikes. Really, I thought that Tucker would NEVER enjoy movies. And then this. He’s liked a few in the past but they always required massive amounts of M&Ms and support but this one? He was SO INTO IT. I couldn’t believe it. I kept waiting for when we’d have to leave. I pretty much love Disney Pixar now though. Except I think I need to avoid Ted because um well. You’re wise.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 12:41 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I watched the ending twice!!
    I’m actually writing a post about how my kids aren’t the ones I imagined, but I’m also not the mother I imagined. It’s all so weird.
    Tucker has a doppleganger (sp?) at our school, by the way! I see him every day and I get excited but then I remember that you don’t live in New England.
    But why don’t you???
    Tamara recently posted…A Toast To The Ones Who Make It Easier.My ProfileNovember 10, 2014 – 5:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I might love you even more that you watched the ending twice!!! I know what you mean about it all being so weird that we’re not who we thought we’d be… and are not raising the kids we thought we would be. I look forward to that post of yours!! And really??? There’s a kid who looks like Tucker at school?????? And sigh. We don’t live in New England because the bacon winner has to live here for now. Sigh…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m Thankful For When My Special Needs Son Surprises Me and For Disney PixarMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 12:43 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Ohhh look at him GO! He’s got rhythm down just perfick.

    And words will happen, in whatever format they do. Perhaps not what you dreamed of, but you always tell me that we don’t get what we expected but that what we get can be wonderful, too. Or something. You do tell me that kind of thing. And it’s right.November 10, 2014 – 6:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Rookie Parenting - This is so beautiful. I’m glad to hear little Tucker is doing well. Awesome moves!November 10, 2014 – 10:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Zoe Cote - Awww Tucker! THAT was incredible!!!!November 11, 2014 – 1:18 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Ahahah He’s so cute! And yes, he totally nailed the ending! Who needs words when you can dance like that? :)
    We are so looking forward to watching the Big Hero 6. Hopefully this weekend!
    Jhanis recently posted…Mango and Chocolate filled CrepesMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 3:03 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Tucker rocks (in EVERY way :)), as do you! And I think I will take mine to see Big Hero 6 tomorrow – I was on the fence but this is a review not to be ignored!
    Since I started writing, Kristi, I realize more and more each day how much my kids teach me… mostly about me.November 11, 2014 – 5:42 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - I most definitely hope you will not braid Tucker’s hair :) I think even we as adults can think, know and see words and have trouble verbalizing them sometimes. Then we have Tucker’s continuing successes to show us all what a young person without the all the “tools” YET (to verbalize)…can overcome, achieve and surprise in the most astounding, beautiful way! The wonderful surprises will continue to come and most likely be exponential from that amazing young sweetheart, Kristi! Btw Tucker…you absolutely rocked and nailed the dance number to the song! LOVED it! Sooooo proud of both of you! :)
    Mike recently posted…On Board The ‘Star of Kenmare’My ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 2:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well if Tucker wants his hair braided at some point? I won’t judge him for that unless he’s being a douche in which case I’ll school him just right! Thanks, Mike, your comments always mean so much to me because I know they are heartfelt and honest and just well, awesome. And he so DID rock the dance, right?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 12:08 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Too cute for words! Oh, Lord, that is an adorable kid! And I am so excited that he enjoyed the movie!
    Elizabeth recently posted…BIG EARSMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 7:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Becky Holland - What an inspiring post! thank you for sharing. My little girl understands what we say but struggles to communicate her words. it is such a wonderful feeling when progress is made!
    Becky Holland recently posted…You make a differenceMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think it’s also wonderful to remind ourselves that progress happens when it happens. I have such a tendency to feel sad when I’m confronted with kids doing so much more but really? Those kids? Have nothing to do with my life and I need to remember how far my own little boy has come! Thank you so much for coming by – I appreciated your “You make a difference” post so much!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 12:20 amReplyCancel

  • Angel the Alien - Tucker is bustin’ some moves! Glad he liked the movie! I kinda want to see it myself, even though I have no kids.
    Angel the Alien recently posted…The Back-Up PlanMy ProfileNovember 11, 2014 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Tucker is a great dancer — and I heard you laughing at the end of his dancing. Good times!

    I think that part of positive parenting is learning to gradually let go of your vision of your child’s life and embrace their reality and promise. Parenting means that we glory in seeing our children evolve their own sense of the universe.

    See you at FTSF this week!November 12, 2014 – 2:27 amReplyCancel

  • Catherine - What a beautiful post, has put a big smile on my face :) So happy for you and your son,
    Catherine recently posted…Making Every Day An AdventureMy ProfileNovember 12, 2014 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I love this so much, because I too, loved words from very early on and they are still important to me and I think about them a lot because I use a language that is not my first language on a daily basis. I think that words are one channel to experiencing reality. I think that it’s great for Tucker who sometimes hates words and struggles with them to have a mommy who loves them so much because whether we want to or not our children absorb some of our attitudes. I also think it’s great for Tucker’s mommy to have a Tucker who sometimes prefers to move it move it. One of my favourite things about being a mom is the totally unexpected paths our kids sens us travelling through. Thank you for sharing that awesome photo and the video. That made my evening! Love you.November 12, 2014 – 9:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Katia,
      I cannot find the words that I love nor the words that I do not to express how much I appreciate your insight, wisdom, getting-it-ness and overall awesomeness. THANK YOU and I love you too – so much. I know what you mean that maybe he’ll always prefer to “move it” over words but also maybe that’s fine and the way it’s supposed to be. I also love these unexpected paths.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - Tucker did nail it and the ending was perfect! :)November 15, 2014 – 1:51 amReplyCancel

  • Chronicallysickmanicmother - Oh Kristi
    I related so much to this. The hardest struggle is to move past how we pictured it in our head and accept and be grateful for what we do have. Amazing kids.

    LOVE the dancing!
    Chronicallysickmanicmother recently posted…The week it all seemed to come together. TTOT 74My ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 10:49 amReplyCancel

  • Vanessa D. - He really did nail the ending. Obviously your guy has got rhythm!
    Vanessa D. recently posted…TToT – I Can Do This!My ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 12:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - We experience, too, that children not always live up to our expectations. This becomes especially hard when one kid does and the other is just more of a dreamer, still so very playful and easy to distract at an age when her older sister was already working so straight forward. It’s hard to stay patient, but I am also thankful for the learnign experience of being her mom. We are so excited about all the progress she makes all of a sudden, and so proud of her. She is not her big sister, she’s not like us, but she’s still the most lovable 4-year old girl in this world!

    Enjoy your weekend, Kristi!November 15, 2014 – 3:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - What a great comment and insight Stephanie. I, too, learn so much from my son (and also try to stay patient with him!!!). I know what you mean, too, about that jump in progress. It sometimes feels like not much is happening and then boom! Huge progress!
      I was really really sorry to read about your Opa, too, and send you lots of hugs and peace to your entire family. xxoo
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 6:00 pmReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - Okay. That video was worth the price of admission. Oh did I ever have that much energy. My youngest has trouble with memory and words. Well, it’s his attention span. Frustrating for him. But it’s more frustrating for mom to see him so frustrated.
    jamie@southmainmuse recently posted…Ten Things of Thanks for the week that was.My ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 5:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I wonder if things turned out for any of us the way we expected. I know they didn’t for me. Some of it not so great, some of it better. I’ve been reading your words for over a year and that young man of yours certainly has changed. It’s been such a gift to watch him grow. He does have the moves and definitely nailed the end!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…Something Worth ReadingMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I doubt that things have been what any of us have expected. I wonder too though about how much it rocks our worlds when the simple givens aren’t well, simple or given. Maybe, nothing is though… And yeah, he’s changed… and grown, and gotten, and well just BEEN so much… sharing his progress is my number one thing about not going anonymous… and thank you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 16, 2014 – 12:04 amReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - Tucker totally rocks that dance, especially his Big Finish.
    ABA is a wonderful thing. I’ve seen it do great things with children from the autism center here in town (I’ve had several students from there in my preschool class over the years, attending with their ABA therapist, as they get ready to “graduate” from the center and go to kindergarten).
    Dyanne @ I Want Backsies recently posted…Uncomfortable Shoes And Then SomeMy ProfileNovember 15, 2014 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Tucker definitely has the dancing down!
    Kristi recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful: Anticipation BuildsMy ProfileNovember 16, 2014 – 1:26 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Kristi, I have this feeling that Tucker is going to love words just as much as you do. Perhaps more! And you have a great part to play in that!November 16, 2014 – 6:47 amReplyCancel

  • clark - yep, you can see that he’s playing for position as the ending approaches…turns to left…. bam!

    very cool

    (hey, you know that your Post (and this Comment) create a time loop that is quite real* right?)

    **real, as in, as real as any of the ‘sphere is…people who tell tales of their worlds, share the lives of people they love…multiplying that love… just thought I should mention that.*

    * no, that double asterix was not a mistake, it was on purpose
    clark recently posted…TToT the Wakefield Doctrine ‘non-long, non-rambling, still about things I’m grateful for, mostly Wakefield Doctrine related’My ProfileNovember 16, 2014 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, he TOTALLY perfected that ending and that was the first take! BOOM.
      Awesome that I created a time loop that is quite real (with one or two asterixes and what is the plural of asterix? Asteri?) – so that means it’s still Sunday and I can go back to bed? No?
      But yeah, and thanks, Clark. You’re the bombdiggity.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…My Father’s Best Advice Was To Not Care What Other People ThinkMy ProfileNovember 17, 2014 – 1:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - I love the dance – and I love that version of the song. My girls have also dance-partied to that one :)

    Glad the movie went well this time! Yay for new achievements – and fun at the movies!
    Louise recently posted…On not Being a BystanderMy ProfileNovember 16, 2014 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Clay - Cooper has issues with talking…sometimes you can just see the physical struggle of trying to speak. I love the progress the hope…the knowing they know…and being ok with however that knowledge is expressed! Progress never stops…and for that I am greatful.November 16, 2014 – 3:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - OMG I love that video SO much! My girls want to watch it over and over again! We miss you guys!!!November 17, 2014 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - Another great post! I honestly don’t know what I would do without my son’s movies and documentaries. He understands them so deeply, so much more than the daily social interactions that he doesn’t understand as much.
    Echo recently posted…{Almost} Wordless Wednesday: Warm and Cozy!My ProfileNovember 19, 2014 – 9:48 amReplyCancel

  • Tarana Khan - You rock, Tucker! You have every reason to be proud of him. Isn’t it amazing how kids can surprise us even when we think we know them inside out?
    Tarana Khan recently posted…Ten ways to stay motivated as a bloggerMy ProfileNovember 19, 2014 – 2:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - SUCH a sweet post. And, my kids love that song too. So fun! You’re the perfect mom for Tucker. I feel that every time I read your posts. :)
    Meredith recently posted…The Identity Crisis of MotherhoodMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 8:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - It’s wonderful to hear about your son’s progress. What a delight that must be for you and your husband. Thanks for sharing your good news at’s Tuesday link up.
    Jolene Philo recently posted…No More Vacant Special Needs DadsMy ProfileNovember 20, 2014 – 9:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Honey - This tugs at my heart! I love that! Also, love that you love ABA. BCBA’s rule just saying….November 21, 2014 – 2:46 pmReplyCancel

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