Finding Ninee » Sharing our special needs and autism story through heart and humor.

I don’t think I’ve ever been especially good at making friends. I don’t remember much about forming friendships at young ages, but I do remember painfully, shyly, and eagerly learning that in order to start one, I needed to say hello. I had one true friend before the age of six, and today, I can’t […]

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - Wow Kristi, you drew me in with your story as well. Love your write up/review. Anytime you read a book in Target, regardless of whether or not you are in the toy department – it is GOOD! I look forward to checking it out.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…What is that SMELL?My ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 9:53 amReplyCancel

  • Don - Look, I’m commenting here even though I had to type lots of letters in the three boxes just to get to this comment box. Hahaha, box. Anyway, you should have submitted a story for this book. I can’t believe you didn’t.

    Women are ridiculous creatures sometimes, so I may have to read this for the reminder. I’m married to one, so I can say that.

    Your review is most excellent, as were your recollections about past friends. I have several friends that I’ve lost touch with over the years who I think about from time to time as well. Not really people I want to reconnect with at this point, but people who did play some important role in my life at some point.

    The hockey coach?
    Don recently posted…A shooting a mother and her baby…My ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 10:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Jeez, I guess I should send some beer your way, given your extreme effort for having to type D, tab, D, tab, h, tab. THANK YOU. You should make it a more frequent habit to comment here anyway, loser. I can’t believe I didn’t submit a story for it either. I’m also a loser. And yup. The hockey coach.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Broken Friendships and a Book Review of My Other ExMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 1:53 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It was really good, wasn’t it? It haunted me – I would start each essay hoping for the ending that I knew wouldn’t come. I don’t really miss the friend I wrote about either, but my heart aches for the writers who told of such painful losses.
    Dana recently posted…My Other ExMy ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 10:05 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Great review Kristi – you’ve made me want to get this book, not just because you reviewed it so well (which would have been enough right there), but also because female friendships do mean a lot to me. And after this past year, I think I learned a lot about friendships. In most cases, I had people support and even surprise me by their love and caring, but there were a few who well, I’m not sure what to do about it or them. Bottom line was they let me down. Do I break up with them? Do I let it go? I’m just not sure and I think about it a lot. Time to get this book!
    Emily recently posted…Let The Fighting Resume…My ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 10:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      I am a little horrified at how horrible friends can be at times. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced that so much over the past year and honestly, it’s hard to even have an opinion on what you should do regarding the people who let you down over the past year. My gut reaction is to say “fuck ‘em” and just let them go. But, also, I know how inadequate it can feel to not know what to do and then, because it feels too late or too small or too whatever, not do anything, ya know?
      To clarify, I don’t really have enough friends here to be able to say that I was here/there/HERE for any of them going through a hard time, because well, I don’t really have many friends here and, as far as I know, none have been going through anything like you have with LD. I’m pretty sure that I’d be the one remembering to order them extra take-out, offer to come over and help plant flowers or whatever small thing is being neglected that makes them feel like they’re struggling, but, well, I can’t prove that I would, if that makes sense. Ach. Ok this has the potential to be a really dumb comment while I’m trying to be deep and meaningful. I fell asleep putting Tucker to bed and woke up at 1am, wide awake (thanks, husband who was NOT a good friend in just going to bed himself) but I hope you know what I mean.
      Also, let’s get your book published, okay?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Broken Friendships and a Book Review of My Other ExMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 2:16 amReplyCancel

      • Emily - There is NO DOUBT in my mind that you would be one of those people ordering take-out. I know exactly what you mean when you say you can’t prove that it would be you because I’ve had the same thoughts about myself. I HOPE that I’d be one of those people, but maybe I’d suck too and not realize I was a sucky friend. Of course now that I’ve been on the other side of a really hard time, I am super sensitive to others and any possible hardships and of course that also makes me expect more of others too. Ugh, now I’m rambling…I agree, let’s just publish my stupid book already!
        Emily recently posted…September Then Vs. September NowMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 10:05 amReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - This is such a poignant review Kristi Rieger Campbell!! I too, was deeply affected by this amazing book!!September 15, 2014 – 1:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Krista Parker - I’ve got a few “other ex’s” as well. I will get this book! :) Thanks for the tip! :)
    September 15, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - I love this. I love the way you shared your emotions and brought along on this journey with you. I can honestly say that I cannot wait to read this book!
    Echo recently posted…Kids In The Kitchen Take On Dessert!My ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 4:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Thank you for sharing how this book touched you, Kristi and will say as I was reading I was truly brought back to more then a few memorable friendships that are no more here either. But loved your take and now made me want to re-read it!September 15, 2014 – 4:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Thanks so much for this, Kristi. I think I need to read this, if only to not feel so alone! I am not only going through a divorce, but also finding that my friendships are not as strong as I thought they were (ie, I’m expected to be there for everyone but no one is there for me). I’ve had lots of problems keeping friends throughout my life. I’ve always wondered what is wrong with me, but maybe it’s not me after all. Thanks again for sharing; I’ll definitely check out this book!
    Jessica recently posted…Writer’s Workshop: RecessMy ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 4:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ah Jessica. I’m so so sorry to read that you’re expected to be there for people but that they are not there for you. I wish I could say that I’ve never experienced that, but maybe most of us have? I dunno but it SUCKSASS.
      I promise that it’s not you, sweets. It’s just not. I think that in some ways, women’s friendships are more complicated than our romantic relationships are. In the book, they talk about how the breakups are more complex, but I think that it’s also true that the relationships are. I look back at some of my most important friendships, even ones today, and I’m shocked by how intensely beautiful and also incredibly cruel they were/are.
      Also, I am always always your friend, and am here, if you want to talk. For real.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Broken Friendships and a Book Review of My Other ExMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 2:25 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - I’m glad you’ve been able to move on without the kind of regret which makes you want to get back in touch. Sometimes people are only ‘for now’, I think.September 15, 2014 – 5:00 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Just downloaded to my Kindle, Dear.
    Thank you! Can’t wait to review it. xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…16 Things I Really, Really DigMy ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 5:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - Wow… I want to read it! A few years ago I had a very close, long-term friendship come to an end, and I sort of jokingly refer to her as my “ex” sometimes, because I always call her my ex-best-friend when I mention her… she’s still such a large part of my life, even though I haven’t seen or spoken to her in years. I will definitely check out this book.
    Angel The Alien recently posted…Yellow RibbonMy ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 6:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - I happen to be going through this VERY THING right now, despite my attempts to make it better. I have learned this in life, and it holds true in this situation: All you can be is yourself. Apologize if and when you need to, but don’t apologize for being you. And don’t feel bad about it. If that’s not enough, then the friendship has run its course. Thanks for this, Kristi. It’s beautiful.
    Shay from Trashy Blog recently posted…Trashy Shorts: Venus Fly TrapMy ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 6:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - I cannot thank you enough for this beautiful review- I am so touched. And it was so riveting for me to read your childhood friendship stories in this post… it made me wish you’d written a whole essay, too! (Also? That photo is clearly Tucker wearing a long blond wig. You’ve got some strong genes, there, friend.) Thank you, thank you, thank you, for everything about this review. xoxoxoSeptember 15, 2014 – 7:07 pmReplyCancel

  • MsMouse - you are just simply an awesome writer — I have to admit, I’ve “broken up” with some of my old school friends… and still feel guilty (part of being a Norwegian???) <3
    and feel guilty – and always will – about my biggest secret, that YOU know about.September 15, 2014 – 9:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - She kicked you??? You should have puked some more.
    The little you is so very Tucker. I absolutely love it.
    I cannot WAIT to read this book. I have had this happen countless times, and I always thought there was something wrong with me. This book shows that friendships don’t always last pretty universally.
    Tamara recently posted…A Letter To a Little Girl.My ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 10:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Noah's Miracle - The birth and death of friendships is always an interesting dynamic. You always know when you’ve learned all the lessons you can from a relationship when you don’t have the urge to chase after it anymore. Someone once told me that friendships come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Great post Kristi, the book looks like a great read. September 16, 2014 – 12:57 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - I can’t wait to read this book… Been thinking so much lately about friendships that end and how and why. Thank you Kristi for sharing your beautiful personal stories with such honesty. September 16, 2014 – 2:43 amReplyCancel

  • Alison Lee - This is such a beautiful review, and thank you so much for sharing your stories. Thank you, truly. September 16, 2014 – 4:56 amReplyCancel

  • Diane - And now I’m remembering my friends loved and lost. Priceless!
    Diane recently posted…A Bit of KnowledgeMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 10:47 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - I’m always intrigues by you past Kristi:)! And considering that you friend didn’t have you back – I’m inclined to think the loss was HERS! Great review. I finished My Other Ex yesterday and loved it. My review will be up at Chick Lit Plus this Friday.
    Allie recently posted…Barrett Goes to ChurchMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 1:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - yeah, maybe my past is a tiny bit colorful or weird or just perfectly normal, because what is normal? And YAY to you loving My Other Ex. I cannot BELIEVE I didn’t submit to it. I’m so mad at myself for that!! But well, like my exes, I forgive me, ya know?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Broken Friendships and a Book Review of My Other ExMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I’m curious as to how many of these stories happened in middle and high school. Not that there aren’t mean women as well as mean girls, but that’s such a terrible time. My own story is a high school story. I enjoyed reading yours. Very evocative of high school and the horrors of it.September 16, 2014 – 7:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The ones I shared were all complete before freshman year in college. In the book though, they span those years, motherhood, and even beyond. Fucking high school. For real. I mean, really. I can’t believe I was friends with the mean girls.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Broken Friendships and a Book Review of My Other ExMy ProfileSeptember 16, 2014 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Joanna - Uhm,, I think you are good at making friends.September 16, 2014 – 8:59 pmReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land Series post was written by my amazing friend Zoe of Rewritten. Zoe is one of Tucker’s biggest cheerleaders and her enthusiasm over his dare-devilness has brought me smiles and hope and confidence, more often than I can name. I admire her a lot, and appreciate her friendship so much. She’s simply awesome. She’s been […]

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  • zoe - Awe Kristi! You are the best! Well next to my number one adventure man of course! Thanks so much for the intro, but really the opportunity to be on a site like yours is just so perfect… thanks so much! xo me and skips
    zoe recently posted…NOBODY’S HOMEMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:20 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - do I get to say frist when I wrote part of the entry???? tough! FRIST!
    zoe recently posted…NOBODY’S HOMEMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:21 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Totally.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:52 amReplyCancel

  • christine - Zoe, you are one wise woman.
    christine recently posted…The Phone Story…Which You Will Probably Find Anti-climactic After That Awesome Teaser on SaturdayMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 1:11 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - 0:)… oh wait… you said smart not angelic… now I have you doubting the smart part! Thanks Christine! It was a long read for a woman with as many kids to run after as you do!Although its Thurs and as I recall that is Cuckoo home day!
      zoe recently posted…NOBODY’S HOMEMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Great great post. Wow.
    Elizabeth recently posted…PAIN IN THE RAIN – FITNESS AND THE AUTISM MOMMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 1:50 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - “It doesn’t have to make sense…”

    for a lot of us, that in and of itself, can be the biggest hurdle. Dealing with conditions and conditions are not the problem (for some of us), it getting past the ‘but, that’s just not right!’*
    I get much from the reading this today, which, I guess, is one more element of acquired knowledge. This being one of the gifts I take from this here Post here.

    * being a subset of the ‘it should make sense’
    clark recently posted…Eleven the Wakefield Doctrine (Thursday! relax! it’s Thursday…what can be threatening about that?)My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 1:52 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - well , I DO have a secondary roger… that just aint right! (another subset of “ít should make sense.” THanks my friend.September 11, 2014 – 5:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I got a lot from reading this today too. And still have a hard time getting past the “BUT THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT” shit. Because, it’s fucking not just right. It’s NOT okay.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - This is one of those posts that will stick with me for a while. Well done, Weldon. I’ll be off pondering.
    Sarah recently posted…TToT42: BlackberriesMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 1:58 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - Thanks Sarah!! I appreciate it! You are a solid thinker (compliment) so that is high praise indeed…September 11, 2014 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love well done, weldon. And I’ll be off pondering it for the rest of forever too. Zoe is awesome for this, and for all of the rest of her Zoeness.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - This post was extremely helpful to me. As Kristi knows, my 10-year old son was diagnosed with a type of pediatric cancer last year. My despair has ranged from “why him?” to “please God help him” and so on. Cancer has taught me the same as it has taught you – that it does not discriminate and how we deal with it emotionally, spiritually, and of course medically, makes all the difference. You are an inspiration and I mean that in the most sincere way.
    Emily recently posted…Let The Fighting Resume…My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - Oh man, that is just soooo unfair! For you to know of this first hand is unfair enough but for your boy to be the reason you do is just awful. Having seen so many young people over the years the one thing I do know is they are the most resilient people of us all! Often they are also the wisest in what their innocence lends to their perspective on the whole situation. One of the funniest things a kid ever said to me in an iv room was “Im not sick anymore cuz I fight dirty!” My best to you and your family… and remember to fight dirty!
      zoe recently posted…NOBODY’S HOMEMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 5:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - FUCKING CANCER. (sorry but really FUCKING CANCER). And thanks Emily. I knew you’d relate to this one… and I wish you didn’t.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:45 pmReplyCancel

      • zoe - FUCKING CANCER! What can I say… it bears repeating.September 12, 2014 – 6:00 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Asking for the strength to deal with what you already have seems to me to be a very wise thing. It’s very much a “thy will be done” moment.

    I rely heavily on my faith to help me make sense of all that is unfair in this world. When I can keep an eternal perspective, when I can focus beyond this earthly life, I can have faith that the atonement of Jesus Christ will overcome not just sin, but also pain, disappointment, and suffering of all kinds. Does that mean that I will have no trials nor struggles? NO! But it gives me the peace and strength to endure the challenges that come.

    (The quote on the lightening photo is well-stated.)
    Kristi recently posted…RememberingMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - Thanks so much Kristi… Ive really struggled this year with my spriritual life …and whether you know it or not, you (Christine and Dyanne as well) have been so helpful and inspirational in helping me to find my way even part way back. Thank you!September 11, 2014 – 5:50 pmReplyCancel

      • Kristi - I’m happy to hear that I’ve been able to help. I have found in my own life that it is during the more challenging times that I grow the most spiritually. It sounds like you’ve developed deep insights through your years with cancer.
        Kristi recently posted…RememberingMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 6:33 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I can’t say anything better than Kristi did. So I’ll just say that I’m glad that Kristi, Christine, and Dyanne are so much better at this than I am and that I thank God that you’re here, sharing your words, and your story, and well, this. All of it. If that makes sense.
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:48 pmReplyCancel

          • zoe - YOu make so much sense … its amazing to me how much people who I have met out here have given me in terms of guidance and knowledge that they have no clue about…FOr instance you and advocacy , perseverance and raising a free and adventuresome soul despite (maybe even IN spite of ) your own fears about it… lot we can all learn from that… I read your post about the scribbly pic… thats when you think yeah, conforming is good sometimes but man this is art and no one thought Pollocks art was real art either…my kid sees things differently… there are times that seeing the sky as purple in your world may not be an advantage but do they outweigh the times when you get to say “WOW , cool sky!”September 12, 2014 – 5:58 am

  • Lizzi Rogers - And then the paradox of the well-wish, and the desire to rail and scream at God for letting it happen – for letting it continue – and the knowledge, whispering in your ear “He’s not a vending machine, and sometimes the answer is ‘No’” And not knowing whether sending your best for long life and a LONG time to mull over the paradoxes is the last thing desired, because of how much effort living takes you.

    I like what you wrote.

    I like your thinking.

    I don’t like cancer, no, I do not, not at ALL at all at all. September 11, 2014 – 3:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi and Zoe, I don’t know how to comment, yet I want to. Did I enjoy the piece? Hell no! Damn. Did I admire it? Hell Ya! I’m so very sorry for all that you’re going through. And the part about negotiating with the insurance company – just pisses me off! I am a veteran of those wars, sister! Although my son’s future did depend on those battles, at least his mortality did not. God bless you.September 11, 2014 – 4:24 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - Thank you Allie! I understand that insurance thing all too well… it was preparation for dealing with the cell phone company later on I guess… This whole thing has been an adventure in financial survival… sadly , not a unique story.September 11, 2014 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie. Yes. what you said. I want to say so much more but what? What, really?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - You write so matter-of-factly, without any hint of self-pity; it’s just amazing and I am in awe! Thank you for putting such a wonderful personal perspective that we can all learn from!
    Roshni recently posted…how old couples fight!My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 7:11 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - I think long term illness has given me the advantage of being nonchalant. There was a time that wasn’t so….there are still times that are less so, but after this much time I know what im dealing with and that lets me plan for the unpredictable (if that makes any sense!)September 11, 2014 – 8:28 pmReplyCancel

      • Roshni - It absolutely does make sense. I’m sure no one can expect anyone in this situation to be a saint, but given the circumstances, you have a wonderful outlook!
        Roshni recently posted…how old couples fight!My ProfileSeptember 12, 2014 – 1:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Roshni, Zoe is awesome awesome. Thanks so much for your comment!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 12, 2014 – 11:39 amReplyCancel

  • Josie Two Shoes - Wow, Zoe, this was a POWER piece of writing! So much to reflect on! Thank you for a clearer understanding on what your life entails, what being alive means. I wonder if in your situation I could also say “I want to live”, or would I chicken out and say that I don’t want to? We talk about quality of life over quantity, but I know that each of us measures that differently and relatively. From what I know of you and your blog you, you instill your life with meaning and quality experiences, even when it takes a physical toll to do that. You are not willing to give up and let the boat sink, even when faced with tough realities.

    While on the surface and on my blog I sometimes appear to be an optimist, in truth I don’t see myself as that, I prefer to call myself a realist… I try to deal with what life brings. The hardest lesson to come to with for me is that life is not fair. I wish it was, and I think it should be, but it’s clearly not. That being said, it’s still not a dark world devoid of love, light and joy! The harsh realities, the brutality of life often makes me cry, and yet I can look at the sunrise, or a laughing baby, or a playful pup, and smile in the goodness that coexists with evil here. I prefer to focus on the good, believing that I can attract more of that to my life if I do.

    For several years now I have formed my prayers not around the specifics of “I want, I need, please do this”, because I know it really doesn’t work like that, at least not for me. I pray for clarity, strength, and courage, for me and for whoever is in need of that in their life. I pray for grace and compassion, I pray for surrender where it is needed, I pray that God will use me to be a missionary of kindness and comfort. Often I just pray to surrender my will and desires to the greater will of God, knowing things will work out if I reach that place of acceptance and stop trying to steer the sinking boat!

    As you can see, post really got me thinking. Zoe, it is an honor to know you, I learn so much from you, and above all I appreciate your ability to find joy and laughter in the lifeboat!
    Josie Two Shoes recently posted…Plain JaneMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 9:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so very much agree that Zoe is one incredible writer and I admire her so much for sharing this story here – and honored that she knew it was a “safe” (if that makes sense) place to do so…
      I don’t know what I would do either, which, I think is the guts of this entire piece. I want to say YES HELLYESSSSSFOREVERYES I wantToNeedTo live… but I also understand that there’s a point to the pain and the everything else when that stuff slips away a bit, which is both terrifying and powerful and mostly terrifying…
      I really relate, too, to your “life is not fair” comment, Josie and Zoe… because it’s not. In my world, it’s NOT fair that at parent teacher night, I immediately knew my kid’s drawing because it was so much more um, scribbly than the others. BUT, it was also perfect, and I knew it was his immediately so it was his, if that makes sense.

      I agree. Zoe, it is an honor to know you. Here’s to lots of laughter in the lifeboat. For all of us. But for you especially now.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

      • zoe - “I want to say YES HELLYESSSSSFOREVERYES I wantToNeedTo live…”
        Now that Ive had a few really close shots at death I realize I havent exactly made a choice to live as much as just done what I would naturally do… So unless there is a volition Im not aware of beyond the obvious of being suicidal( which I would never wish the agony of on anyone)…I dont think living was a choice for me… I remember being in an er PRAYING to die because I was soooo ill… but nope… kept going… energizer bunny-ish I guess….

        …and you can bet that with both of us in a lifeboat there is sure to be a lot of really sick humor floating around out there!September 12, 2014 – 5:42 amReplyCancel

    • zoe - Josie, thanks as always… what a great comment! I often pray for surrender in circumstances… acceptance probably as I havent yet learned enough humility. I hope to have time to learn to ask for strength to be a missionary of comfort… I do it but often am forgetful when angered ( which is more than I would like) … Thanks for your kind words and friendship! xo me PS…September 12, 2014 – 5:38 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - While I’m not too sure of the details, a friend of mine has a cancer that is years or lifelong.. but livable. I didn’t know that existed until she got it.
    And my father-in-law has a similar type of thing. He was told he can live with this kind of cancer for decades with certain medications. He’s almost 73 so.. it’s an interesting thing for him. Would he live for decades anyway, cancer free?
    All I hope for is his longevity, and importantly – his happiness and comfort during that. So far, so good.
    Tamara recently posted…A Really Pumped Up Ask Away Friday.My ProfileSeptember 12, 2014 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

    • zoe - weird right!? THe odds of living longer have changed so much even in my short time with CA. WHen I was diagnosed I was given until 32 ish… Im now 51 (not so ish) and granted end stage but even that can last years… I suspect your dad and I may have the same illness… I was told it was rare for a young woman to get this… at that time I was one of 19 or 20 woman below 60 with it.Typically older men get it… hmmmm… go figure…September 12, 2014 – 5:46 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I didn’t know this type of cancer existed until Zoe shared her story with me either, Tamara.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 13, 2014 – 1:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Well. I don’t know that I have anything to add here that has not already been said. I’ve come back here three times to read this and I still have so much to take in and mull over. I’ve been really griping about my body and my RA these last few days…but at the moment I kind of feel like “who the hell are you to do that?” But then I remember that everyone’s struggles are their own and they are all different…then the other voice takes over again. Like I said…lots to think about still.
    Here’s what I do know – you are brave and you are awesome. I don’t know you as long or as well as some of these awesome ladies, but I can tell even from that short time that you are wise. You get it, so to speak.
    My Grandfather always used to tell us “yup, life’s unfair. That’s just the way it is.” He used to say spend less time complaining about that and wondering why and more time figuring out what to do with the hand you were dealt. That’s all. Makes sense.
    Anyway, thanks for sharing this, Zoe – there is so much wisdom to take away here. You nailed it!September 12, 2014 – 12:35 amReplyCancel

    • zoe - SoLisa, if you got to the beginning where it says Im not really all that different than people with other chronic illnesses… I am not lying or kidding when I say I was thinking of you… Life is unfair but man is it relative… dont let that other voice bring you down … you have enough to struggle against without listening to untruths…Thank you so much my friend… listen to your grandad… wise man there!September 12, 2014 – 5:48 amReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - You’re very right, Zoe. It is all relative – one person’s good day is another’s bad. What people need to do, I think, in general, is respect one another and support one another wherever they are. It’s about empathy (which is what we’re doing here at the Our Land thing) and really just being able to say “I’m sorry this sucks for you right now and I’m here to do whatever will help.” Honestly, when I have a bad day or even a full-out flare, all I really want is those around me to recognize, understand, help me if I need it and let me be if I don’t.
        My Grandfather was so wise…so wonderful.September 12, 2014 – 4:20 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I agree with Zoe, Lisa. Each of our struggles are our struggles and we can’t dismiss our own because somebody has worse ones… BUT I do think it’s good to put some of our complaints in perspective if that makes sense by knowing and helping other people through theirs. Here’s to remembering to be here for everybody who needs to hear “I’m sorry this sucks right now,” no matter what the suck is.
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 13, 2014 – 1:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Lana - Wow – this is one of the wisest pieces of writing I have ever read. So well done. Thank you for sharing this perspective with us. I think any other comment I make would be inadequate – so thank you, brave Zoe, and I’m sending every positive thought your way.
    Lana recently posted…Teens: DoSomething.OrgMy ProfileSeptember 12, 2014 – 1:04 amReplyCancel

  • No Hands SEO - I’m going to quickly understanding your current rss feed after i cannot find your e mail request hyperlink or ezine service No Hands SEO. Accomplish you may have any kind of? You should let me understand in order that I possibly could register. Cheers.September 12, 2014 – 2:57 amReplyCancel

    • zoe - Ah yes, the jellied canned meat of the blogosphere! How you sustain me!!!September 12, 2014 – 5:51 amReplyCancel

  • Mardra Sikora - Today I find there are recurring themes: the price of “optimism,” accepting what outside of my power to change, and a whole bunch of in between gray I cannot articulate, but your words have brought me closer. Best wishes and Thank you both for sharing this. September 12, 2014 – 3:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy Christi - I don’t know how you summon your strength. I really don’t. Some days I don’t know how I, with my mere hypothyroid, am going to make through yet another exhausting day. If there’s one thing my life has gone through great lengths to teach me, it’s that life is not fair. Almost never. That doesn’t always HELP, but you don’t have that surprising let down :) and there are small bonuses when you least expect them: Like friends, and SKIP!September 12, 2014 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - First of all, I love that you replied to the spam comment! Classic, Zoe!

    This is not the first time I have read an incredible piece of your writing regarding your cancer. I have read through the thread and know that there is nothing I could add. There really isn’t anything I can say that will do this justice anyway. It’s beautifully and bravely written. Well done, my friend.
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…There’s Something Wrong With the World TodayMy ProfileSeptember 12, 2014 – 7:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I loved that too, Sandy! “Jellied canned meat” made me laugh out loud. And yes. It is beautifully and bravely written.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 13, 2014 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - Sandy, thanks so much… Like Kristi, it your site wasnt there I dont think I would ever write this stuff down! …and spam… yeah, spam…September 14, 2014 – 5:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - This is so beautifully written and you are incredibly brave. I’ve had many loved ones go through chemo–some survived and some did not. It was a brutal experience for every one of them, but it was interesting to see how they each handled it differently. You are one of the strong ones and your attitude is amazing. XO
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Growing Up GroovyMy ProfileSeptember 12, 2014 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Marcia, I agree. Oh chemo, and all that it means. It sucks but today, seems like the best shot for life, which is terrible.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: How Long Would You Like To Live?My ProfileSeptember 13, 2014 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

    • zoe - Like anything, the experience of chemo is relative I suppose… its the longterm aftereffects that are especially disconcerting to me while others would be sitting in the room getting sick immediately and couldnt wait for the next day… go figure… Ive had time to adjust my attitude which is most days as you see here but often enough NOT!September 14, 2014 – 5:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - There is so much wisdom in this post, I don’t even know where or how to begin to honour it. I agree wholeheartedly that confidence in a higher power lends confidence to the self. The more I live, the more I realise that life is full of paradox. People are always reminding us that bad experiences make us stronger but sometimes that just makes me want to shout ‘I’d rather be weak and happy!’ Sometimes I think that God gives us these enormous challenges in life to beak us down so we will come back to him through prayer because we’ve tried everything else and all we have left to do is prayer. Thank you for writing this Zoe and thank you for sharing it here Kristi.
    Lizzy – Muddle-Headed Mamma recently posted…Most of the time, I’m doing okayMy ProfileSeptember 15, 2014 – 2:18 amReplyCancel

  • My Info - “I’d rather be weak and happy”….haha love that!! Finding happy in the ick seems to be the goal…..dunno….thanks for the great comment liza!September 15, 2014 – 6:21 amReplyCancel

    • zoe - MY PHONE IS SUCH A FREAKING LOSER! So… Lizzy… LIZA???? WHO IS THAT????? forgive me, but I do thank you for commenting and I love the rather-be-happy-and-weak comment! zoeSeptember 15, 2014 – 7:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie Thomas - You continue to amaze me. As Joy said, I don’t know how you summon your strength. You are an inspiration to keep going, no matter what life throws at us. Fair, or not, we only get one chance to go around so I guess we should all try our best to our best. You are doing fabulous.September 15, 2014 – 3:54 pmReplyCancel

When Listen to Your Mother DC Show producer Stephanie Dulli shared my What it Feels Like to be a Special Needs Mom video on Facebook, she said that the quote that most resonated with her was when I said “You realize that not only do you have the wrong parenting books, but that you’re in […]

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  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Haven’t read that one, but just one the title I like it! Your five points are good ones and if they are a good representation of the book, it may be worth looking at.
    I know what you mean about being in the wrong library – what a great way to put it. Zilla isn’t delayed, but has her own set of exceptional. We knew very early that she was ADHD with a few co-morbidities alongside. My parenting books read like who’s who in the ADD world. Some of what makes Zilla “her” makes her very different from other kids and knowing early on and getting info we needed and wanted was awesome.
    I love your dad – what a smart guy! Learning to learn is exactly it! I often have had to answer students questions about why they are learning something and I usually tell them because you have to learn to think.
    Hope Kindergarten is going well! Guess the big question is does Tucker like it??September 9, 2014 – 2:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
      Yeah, my dad is pretty awesomely smart. I think he gave me that nugget when I was in high school and I still think about it weekly. I love the “have to learn to think” too – perfect answer!
      Tucker – so far – seems to like kindergarten. He happily gets on the bus each morning and is always happy when he gets off. We had back to school night last night and his teachers and aides said he’s doing amazing!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Climbing Back on The Parenting Book Wagon with a Review of Dr. G’s “Get the Behavior You Want…Without Being the Parent You Hate”My ProfileSeptember 10, 2014 – 11:14 amReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Happy to go and happy when they come home is HUGE, Kristi!
        Do you do what I do when teachers say he’s doing amazing…breathe a huge sigh of relief? I’m always so worried about how well Zilla is doing, learning, getting along, handling herself, etc. etc. etc. I know logically that the worry accomplishes exactly nothing, but still…I worry.September 11, 2014 – 9:13 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - “Catch them doing good” is one of my favorites because for us it is a way to reinforce the tools and lessons learned that he really struggles with. When I see him using them, I really try to notice and praise him!
    Elizabeth recently posted…FOOD IS NOT MY ENEMY – FITNESS AND THE AUTISM MOMMy ProfileSeptember 9, 2014 – 3:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - Kristi Rieger Campbell with great advice for special needs moms…and all moms Kayla MeadSeptember 9, 2014 – 5:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - Kristi Rieger Campbell I wanted to cry as I read your post!!!!!! I’m so glad Tucker is off to a great start in Kindergarten and I’m so, so, happy that you are starting to feel as if you can read a parenting book again. I remember the feeling that the books were not talking to me and then being so excited when my first child Tom started to bloom in kindergarten and started to look “typical”. I remember saying to his inclusion teacher that he looked so typical and she said, that’s because he is!!! That was the nicest thing anyone could say to me!!! xoxxoSeptember 9, 2014 – 5:32 pmReplyCancel

  • MyTwice BakedPotato - I am so happy that Tucker is doing well! I hope it continues :) September 9, 2014 – 6:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I am SO happy to hear about kindergarten and the thriving. Scarlet is on day three and she says every day is better than the last.
    I’m still not adjusted.. but I’m learning.
    I have this book to review, in fact! I can’t wait! Love the happiness tip.
    Tamara recently posted…Game Day Prep.My ProfileSeptember 9, 2014 – 6:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Alison - You’re absolutely right in saying that the book is common sense, but the kind we DO need to be mindful of. Thank you for saying yes to reviewing the book, and I’m glad you got something out of it.

    So glad Tucker is doing well in kindergarten!
    Alison recently posted…Dear BabiesMy ProfileSeptember 9, 2014 – 6:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Katie Markey McLaughlin - I’m so glad you shared this! Really helpful to read your perspective and experience. So glad Tucker is doing well! I was also really struck by Dr. G’s comments on happiness—it’s helpful to remember our role isn’t to make them happy, but to teach them how to handle life so that they can make themselves happy. Important distinction!September 9, 2014 – 7:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Susan Maccarelli - I am reading it now! I like it so far – especially how it addresses kids of all ages since mine are little. She is very common sense, and I like being reminded since common sense often slips my mind when I am in it up to my eyeballs.
    Susan Maccarelli recently posted…Beyond Your Blog Podcast 006: Lisa Nolan – Anthology Guru, Founder of Monkey Star PressMy ProfileSeptember 9, 2014 – 8:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Great review Kristi! I too have put away my parenting books – because they came from the same library:). Funny thing is, the tricks I learned in my new library also help with my other kids.September 9, 2014 – 9:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I never read this book, but after your recommendation may very well need to. By the way, I am so happy to also read that Tucker is doing so well in kindergarten. I actually got a phone call today from Emma’s teacher to tell me how great she is doing and just so happy to have her in her class. I know it is a phone call that was made to all the parents for each kid, but still something so small made my day and just happy to know that she is indeed doing great after her first week in. Hugs to you and again huge thank you for sharing this book here with us :) September 9, 2014 – 9:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen Lauren Schneider Kehl - Sounds like a great book! I’ll have to take a look. I have some bullying questions of my own ;-) September 9, 2014 – 9:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie - Kristi,

    My daughter is 29 – years – so I am not in the market for a parenting book but I will add that her elementary school embraced “Caught Being Good” and any teacher or aid could give a slip to any kid. It worked really well because it kept all the kids on their toes! At the end of the day the kids that had been’caught’ were called to the office to pick a prize (cool pencils, erasers, etc) the principal kept in his office.

    I am so happy that Tucker is happy at school. I really am.
    Pattie recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful #9My ProfileSeptember 10, 2014 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - WOO HOO Tucker!!! And I totally get the catharsis of throwing away those perfect baby books and calling the e-mails spam. Great review my friend!
    Kerri recently posted…Getting dirty and finding myselfMy ProfileSeptember 10, 2014 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I haven’t read a parenting book since my kids were potty trained. I’m not saying I don’t need to, but just that I haven’t. Of the tips you mentioned, the first one resonated with me. I need to remind myself of that more often. Particularly with two teenagers for whom sullenness is the default mood, I have to remember that it’s not my job to make them happy.
    Dana recently posted…My Love List for SeptemberMy ProfileSeptember 10, 2014 – 3:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - First, I’m sooo happy that Tucker is doing so well in kindergarten already…that’s such GREAT news! I haven’t read the book (but I love the title). I SO love the first point of stop trying to make your kid happy. I struggle with this A LOT and it’s so hard to let them find their own happiness, but it’s true that we have to let that happen. I think I’ll buy the book just to read that chapter!
    Emily recently posted…Let The Fighting Resume…My ProfileSeptember 10, 2014 – 9:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - I’ve never heard of this book, but I like the idea of it. It does sound like common sense things that we could totally use reminders to think about on a daily basis. I just had to let you know that you are not alone on the milestone things! My son hasn’t been diagnosed as special needs and I noticed that the spectrum is soooooo much bigger than what is considered to be normal that I, too, was starting to make myself crazy. After talking to other moms who are homeschooling and have had multiple children, I learned that all of our kids learn and grow at different levels so we just have to work with them and love them on that level and not try to compare them to others. It doesn’t benefit them in the long run and let’s just face it, it makes us all lunatics! :)
    Brittnei recently posted…Creative Style Linkup- Week 15My ProfileSeptember 14, 2014 – 4:09 amReplyCancel

My childhood wasn’t especially spectacular or amazing. But it was mine, and I hang onto the magic that I feel like it should have had, and now hold the spectacular moments that it did close to my heart. Years ago, my roommate commented on my cherished bulletin board. Loaded with photos, concert tickets, my high […]

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  • Emily - I love this and not just because I too had that “I’m so cool” bulletin board too! My husband commented to me tonight that he thought my post was quite negative and I agreed that it was. However, I didn’t change it because I guess I do always feel bummed out about summer being over and I didn’t want to try to make my post fake by being all bright and cheery when I truly hate the end of summer. However (again), your post really made me look at summer’s end from a different perspective. You are right — it IS our kids’ turn to make those memories and if I take a step back and stop mourning my own loss of summer and watch them with their new beginnings of school, etc, perhaps I will feel less bummed out?? Or maybe not…but I can try!
    Emily recently posted…Summer Is Over…How Do I Feel About It This Year?My ProfileSeptember 4, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so miss the bulletin board, Emily!! I almost wanna start a new one just to prove to Tucker that I had a life before. Of course, it would be as filed with him as the one magnetic side of the fridge is but whatever!! I loved your post and think it should stay exactly as it is. End of summer totally sucks. It sucks. Except it was like 97 here today and I’m a little bit done with that part….
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I loved how you finished this sentence and got to admit I totally am not a fan of summer ending. Each year I get a bit nostalgic and definitely down as it approaches. This year as you know it was kindergarten approaching for Emma that got me even worse then usual. I totally wrote all about this on Wednesday and probably could link up here tonight with that post as it pretty much sums up the sentence and how I feel about summer or the lack thereof now. Still not going to steal you thunder on that. But still just so glad all went so well for Tucker and got to admit Emma is totally shining and beaming right now when she talks about kindergarten and the school bus, too. Still can’t believe our babies are doing it and how ell they are indeed doing this now. Hugs and huge thank you for holding my hand through this the whole time! :)
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Wake Me When September Ends & Wonderful Wednesday Blog HopMy ProfileSeptember 4, 2014 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ah to the summer nostalgia, eh? I mean really, it’s a huge thing and I’m so so glad that Emma was beaming and shining over the school bus! I saw your FB status so know it went well but still, it’s totally fine and normal that we’re completely freaking the eff out!!! AND thank YOU, sweet one, for doing the same with me.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - It is Tucker’s turn, but he has so many more years of childhood left! Celebrate the beginnings and mourn the endings – yes. That is exactly how I feel, Kristi. And I think you need to work on perfecting that sexy pout. Just sayin’.
    Dana recently posted…Happiness hangoverMy ProfileSeptember 4, 2014 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • celeste - SO beautiful. My oldest started high school this week and it was (is) a huge milestone for all of us. It’s going to be a lot of work, but it’s also going to be a lot of excitement. A lot of growing. Maturing. I know what you mean about it being his turn. It’s such a mixed blessing, but it is definitely a blessing.
    celeste recently posted…I’m Tired of Needing TherapyMy ProfileSeptember 4, 2014 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Celeste! High school. My husband’s daughter moved here for high school… and I know know that the days and years will go much too soon until I’m calling my son a freshman. EEEP. It’s definitely a blessing.. Still, so sad!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

  • Jess H. - I think those memorable summer moments are what made our typical childhoods so spectacular. This is a lovely post.September 4, 2014 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - As always, you amaze me with how quickly you can come up with a blog. I’ve been trying to writing my for two days! I’d forgotten about the labels at the bottom of cigarette packs. I had no idea that they represented the 50 states. I vaguely remember my dad saving something that came from the Raleigh cigarette packs.
    Allie recently posted…September HappeningsMy ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 5:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well, I can pull them out SOMETIMES (not usually) but it’s impossible to not see them and think how much better they’d be if I’d have spent “real” time. Ugh. And holy cow, yeah, the cigarette thing was awesome. You should find out if you still have your dad’s collection. I’ll bet they’re worth something (maybe) now???
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:05 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Se, I told you you would come up with something awesome! :-) I love your spin on it. As I have grieved my girls growing up, I haven’t really thought about it as i relates to my childhood. I had so much fun in middle school, actually. (High School, not so much!) I have feared my oldest being a middle schooler, but hadn’t really thought about how much fun I had then and the fact that , maybe, she will have fun, too, and it won’t be as drama-filled as everyone has warned me it will be. My childhood was not anything out of the ordinary either, but I have great memories – I hope my girls do too.
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Don’t Cry Over Summer’s EndMy ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 6:21 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well, sweets, I think “awesome” is relative but thank you so much for your faith and support and joining in and overall wonderfulness. Grieving childhood is hard and really I have to wonder how much of this is about me and about Tucker, ya know? I mean, not really but mostly??? If that makes sense. You loved middle school? I hated it. I was the biggest loser in middle school, and also freshman and sophomore years in high school. Somehow, junior year in hs, I managed to be better but wow, was I awkward. And yeah, I think that it was all less drama filled than we’ve been told. Mine was not remembered fondly, but it was also pretty drama-free. Here’s to your girls and Tucker having excellent memories!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:08 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Ohhhh Tucker with the giant backpack – SO adorable :D September 5, 2014 – 6:28 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh my friend, I love this post. How you told us about your summer memories and how you cannot wait for Tucker to make his own. I hope it takes some time before he wants to go to the playground alone
    Kerri recently posted…It’s the end of summerMy ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 9:47 amReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - Watching our children grow brings on a torrent of mixed emotions, doesn’t it? Pride at the things they’ve accomplished. Mourning of little things lost. There was a time when the twins told me daily how they wanted to be strong like me when they grew up. Now the thought of being like me fills them with dread. Damned teenagers…
    Twindaddy recently posted…Random Thoughts: 9/4/2014My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 10:12 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Ok I’m never jumping in leaves again. ;-) I feel like such a party pooper to be excited that summer is over – look forward to cooler temps and dark by 5:00. That dark think makes me feel wonderful – like I’m actually staying up late. Christopher on the other hand is mourning summer and not feeling going to bed while he can still see light through his window. Love the pout pictures and I didn’t know there was a state stick on the bottom of cigarettes.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…The Universal Man. Is it a thing?My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 12:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yup, sorry, leaves are nasty. You’re allowed to be cooler by staying up until 8 or whatever when it gets dark at 5pm. Also there’s the ugly heat thing that’s going on. I dunno about down there, but here, it’s been like the hottest week of the summer, so that makes me ready for fall, too!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:12 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I have been mourning the loss of the beginning to the end of childhood, but I just have to think of it only as a beginning. He’s beginning childhood, not ending it! I swear. Five is a big age, but it’s oh so small. (I say this because I’m feeling old today)
    I wish my parents would still buy me a fall wardrobe. Do you think I could convince them to do it?
    (no)
    Tamara recently posted…A Particularly Adorable Bridal Edition of Ask Away Friday.My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 1:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah. It’s beginning. I know this. You know this. Perhaps, together, we’ve got this. Especially if I can get the photos I mean you know. No pressure or guilt or whatever ;) But yeah, five is both big huge and tiny baby, all at once… and if I were your mom, I’d totally be shopping with you now. Buying? Um, maybe. You ARE super cute.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:14 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Love this Kristi!! I too, saved EVERYTHING that was worthy of good… trying to believe it was.

    Tucker is JUST beginning his childhood. These will be the days he remembers, sort of. My kids don’t remember but a few special events around that time of their life. It amazes me that they don’t remember more… but I know it’s ingrained in their hearts somewhere!
    Chris Carter recently posted…“My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Losing and Leaving Friends”My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 1:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The good that we believed was good simply was. I have to know that amusement parks, playgrounds, beaches and oceans just were GOOD. And thank you Chris. Especially for saying that Tucker’s just beginning his childhood. xoxo to the imprints on their hearts, too…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Gosh I’ve been so busy fretting about the possibility my country could be torn apart in 2 weeks time that I forgot to check out the FTST, and haven’t got a post. This sounds a good one too, though I also always feel grief for the end of long light days.(And here it’s light till around 10.30pm in June and early July and where I come from it’s never completely dark then.)
    So yes, I can relate to your feeling. Also relate to sadness at your child starting school. I think I’ve told you before that I felt that way when mine did. I’ve often felt that although I’d never want to hold them back, it would nice now and then just to be able to hold that baby or 2 year old again – maybe for a day.
    Your bulletin board was great! What a lovely way to remember your own childhood, and I laughed that your dad was the only person who wasn’t drunk who visited your apartment.
    Yvonne recently posted…Referendum choices: going beyond us and themMy ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 2:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne, I so very hope that your country is NOT torn apart and feel very ignorant of the situation. I read your post about it and the whole thing is just sad… I know, too, that you relate to the sadness and grief of passing childhood while also celebrating it. It’s just too dang fast, all of it. And thank you, too, for reading to the point that you caught that my dad was the sober visitor!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:26 amReplyCancel

  • Joy Christi - You’re so right. What’s the alternative? Every year, beginning of the school year was SO MANY different things, not wanting to let go, knowing I had to. Kindergarten is thee toughest. I like how you remembered your own journey, and now it’s his turn. That is what it is, that whole circle of life. Go get ‘em, Tucker!September 5, 2014 – 3:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - What a sweet post about coming to terms with the end of one season (literally, in summer, and figuratively, in Tucker’s life) and in finding the promise and joy of what’s to come. The fall and the year ahead will bring lots of memorable experiences for both of you! (But yeah, watch out for the spiders in the leaf piles. Ewwww.)
    Michele @ A Storybook Life recently posted…PSA: It’s Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month. Check Your Neck!My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Michele!! The end of summer IS sad, but all that’s coming, and the memories to be made are awesome, too. And yeah, leaf piles in these parts can be pretty disgusting. ;)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:28 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - But starting kindergarten is not the end of childhood, Kristi! But I agree, whenever the kids reach another mile stone, I’m getting quite angsty. In only a little over a week, I’m going to have a first-grader here!! Can’t believe it!
    Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly recently posted…Excited For FallMy ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 4:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh I know, I know, Stephanie, that it’s not the end to childhood. It just feels like the beginning to the end, if that makes sense! Yikes to the first grader but also, so beautiful and perfect. I get the angsty!! :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - I definitely feel different about the summer ending at this time in my life than I did in summers past. I think the change in location has changed my perspective on summer tremendously also which is why I decided to write about that this week! I love how Tucker has an end to childhood but also a beginning at this age. You describe it so well. I wonder how he will capture all of the memories. I noticed you mentioned a cyber bulletin. Whatever it is, I know it will make what we did back then and even now look ancient. Haha!
    Brittnei recently posted…Goodbye SummerMy ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA to the cyber bulletin board – I just made it up!! I mean, the way kids today and the way kids when kids like Tucker and JR are old enough to treasure keepsakes – who knows what they will have!!! I did love my bulletin board though and thank you for your sweet words about summer and well, all of it. For joining up. :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:32 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - I think that we all have childhoods that are spectacular and amazing to each of us. How we experience the world as children has such an impact on who we become as adults. I share with you a feeling of loss as the summer slips by; it’s really just too short. But it is wonderful to see how our kids keep growing and rising to each new challenge on their road to adulthood.September 5, 2014 – 8:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - I am totally choked up. You captured that so beautifully- the ending that we mourn, and the beginning that we celebrate. And OMG, I had a “Look at my awesome life/I can be cool” bulletin board, too! xoSeptember 5, 2014 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - I experience those days every day with my fifth grader and first grader!! So much fun, and I just know Tucker will have the same and more!September 5, 2014 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - I had one of those peg boards in college—it was a mish-mash of my life and I was so proud of it. I understand how you felt dropping your son off at school—that first week is so tough. He is growing up now and creating his own memories—just like you did. Scary and exciting at the same time. I think you’ll find that you will grow together in this journey—-and it will just get better and better. XO
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…What Makes A Best Friend?My ProfileSeptember 5, 2014 – 9:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Marcia weren’t those peg boards AWESOME!!!??? I miss mine. I think I may make a new one because why not? And yeah, the first school days are pretty tough and sucky and scary but also so exciting. I think you’re right and thank you!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:33 amReplyCancel

  • Chantale DP Virtuallyateacher - I feel like crying too! But you should be proud Kristi! Hope he has a year full of fun memories!September 6, 2014 – 2:00 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - This time last week I was creeping into the bedrooms of my daughter’s room mates. They weren’t there and weren’t expected for a week. I knew I was safe! I went in them to get a sense of the girls with whom my daughter would be spending the next 8 months of her life. What did I find? Lives well lived. Mirror doors decorated just as you’ve described. Countless photos of family and friends. I was left feeling grateful. My gal will have a wonderful year.
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Pleasantly PlumpMy ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 3:01 pmReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - “For me, the end of summer has always meant, and, continues to mean grief for the loss of long, light-filled days.”

    So true. Your baby heading to kindergarten. My oldest baby turns 21 tomorrow. Oy. We’ll get through the colder months and our babies will continue to spread their wings. hugs.September 6, 2014 – 6:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Jamie,
      My husband’s daughter will be 21 in April so I understand the Oy. Happy happy birthday to your baby today!! Here’s to them spreading their wings and for us to try and make time pass more slowly!1
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 7, 2014 – 5:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Love this! I have a bulletin board, too…aren’t they grand?September 7, 2014 – 1:20 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Bulletin boards are totally awesome, sweets! So awesome.September 7, 2014 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Kristi–you’ll probably hate me for this, but I loved how “feel good” this post made me feel. The part you’re gonna hate is: It reminded me of the Mary Tyler Moore Theme song, Love Is All Around and the final lyric: You’r gonna make it after all.” Now I’m singing that song in my head and thinking of you and Tucker. You can delete this comment after reading. You have my permission. But see, you are going to make it after all–even with Tucker going off to kindergarten. In fact, you are both going to make it after all. Well, that’s enough about that. Happy Sunday evening.
    Linda Atwell – Out One Ear recently posted…Advocate or Obstacle: A Mother Questions Her Role In Raising Daughter With Special NeedsMy ProfileSeptember 7, 2014 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda, your comment made me laugh out loud – not the internet “LOL” thing but that thing we do, audibly. “You’re gonna make it after all!” It also makes me think you’re right, and that your comment holds deeper understanding and love and support, that I very much appreciate so much. I mean, yeah, that damn song is in my head, but maybe, it’s not such a bad thing to have an earworm like this one. Maybe, we all need that song in our heads.
      I love you. And your twisted awesome, lovely and perfect brain with this song.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 9, 2014 – 12:26 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Beautiful Kristi.
    It is inspiring to read and learn from your journey – from your end-of-summer sadness, and your fear and reluctance to let Tucker “go” as he started Kindergarten even while you know this is how it must be, how it is… to your acceptance now that he too will have childhood and growing-up memories of his own. Really resonates for me as a mom – the bittersweet, smiles through tears, as our little people, inch by unforgettable inch, become not-so-little.September 8, 2014 – 1:43 amReplyCancel

  • Allison - I, too, love fall but mourn in this season as well. For all the same reasons. & I get scared about the dumb things my kids will do in their turn and I also get excited for them to remember how beautiful life and changing seasons are. Here’s to hoping for the best…
    Allison recently posted…10 Things You Can Say to Your Toddler, But Not Other AdultsMy ProfileSeptember 8, 2014 – 3:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - It is a sign of resilience when facing a loss, that you see the positive in what comes next. I do it by loving the colors of the changing season, the warm reds, yellows, and oranges. :-)
    Elizabeth recently posted…TRIPPING ACROSS THE POND – WHAT I LEARNED FROM AUTISM MUMS IN OTHER COUNTRIESMy ProfileSeptember 8, 2014 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Alison - The ending of something just means the beginning of something else, yes? Something bigger and better. :)
    Alison recently posted…Dear BabiesMy ProfileSeptember 9, 2014 – 4:07 amReplyCancel

  • Allison - SOOOO I missed the linky party but I am on a mission to cheer everyone up! :) http://www.godanskermom.com/2014/09/10/fall-doesnt-stink-aka-defense-fall/September 10, 2014 – 3:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - It’s so scary to think about how responsible we are for someone’s childhood. I never really thought of it much (beyond parental duties of care giving and rearing). But as my oldest got to be a high schooler and beyond (she’s 20 now), I hear her talk about her childhood as if it’s in the past…. in the past… powerful!
    Kerith Stull recently posted…High School IEP MeetingMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 2:16 pmReplyCancel

So, some of you know that I’m more than a little worried about my son Tucker starting kindergarten on Tuesday (OMFG deep breaths). I’m worried that he’ll be picked on, that he’ll give up on the academics and language that he’s already behind on, and I’m beyond sad and sadsasd, that it’s the beginning of […]

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  • clark - no! frickin! way! I am FRIST
    Damn!
    (1st rule of FRIST Claim FRIST first read, second)
    clark recently posted…TToT the Wakefield Doctrine (‘no!! really?! well, as long as it is still light out and there’s an internet to post to, the Doctrine will be there’)My ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 6:38 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - How lovely was this? My little adventurous friend will be king of the playground! My prediction!
    Oh yeah….NOT FRIST!!! BITE THAT CLARK!!! HAHASeptember 1, 2014 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA you bit Clark? Nice! Er wait, um what? And yeah, I think he might be pretty awesome on the playground. It’s the rest of it! But I know I know… and thanks, Zoe.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 12:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - One day behind you and we start on Wednesday, but like you trying my best to have all the hope in the world and see all the good in it, but damned if I say not an emotional wreck here still this morning thinking about it all. Wishing Tucker a ton of luck and best wishes tomorrow and of course you too my friend. Love you and hugs :)
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Worst Mom for Kindergarten OrientationMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 8:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m really jealous of that one day. Tell me that’s weird? Ok fine it’s not weird because it’s ONE MORE DAY. But still. I know I know I know… and Sending you huge hugs and peace and knowing of all of the knowings that Emma and Tucker and Scarlet will be FINE and perfect and amazing and well, them. But please text me too when you’re texting Tamara? M’kay? I have my moms here that are already texting. Thank God for them!!!
      Love you back and huge ginormious hugs at you.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

      • Janine Huldie - Ok, now I am jealous that you will get it over and done with tomorrow and sitting here still a bundle of nerves. I adore you tons and seriously promise to text you. Love you and larger then life hugs back at you tonight!!!
        Janine Huldie recently posted…Worst Mom for Kindergarten OrientationMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - OH! Crap! I didn’t mean to make you jealous – YOU HAVE ONE MORE DAY!! But yeah I totally get that getting it over with is hugebig, and yes, please, let’s text. Maybe we can agree to meet at a virtual Starbucks and promise to not cry enough to scare the other people?
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

          • Janine Huldie - I totally know you didn’t mean that and still see how crazy these emotions have gotten me. I swear I have been walking around do today even more so as we are closing in on it with a lump the size of Texas in my throat. And by the way, the Starbucks virtual chat sounds great. Would have Lily with me though, but still you made me smile more the you know with that! ;)
            Janine Huldie recently posted…Worst Mom for Kindergarten OrientationMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:02 pm

  • Tamara - Friday here. Hi, I’m Tamara. And I’m terrified of kindergarten. Help me.
    This post is reading like my prayer and my mantra right now.
    Yesterday Scarlet went to the fair without me and did some harness jumping thing and I thought, “Well, she’s flying away, isn’t she?”
    And then she came back.
    Tamara recently posted…Let It Go.My ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 9:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - And then she came back. That my love, is what I needed to read. and OMFG. How how how do people do this? How do they? I mean, I know they do it and do it and do it and it all gets better and bigger and awesomer but really? How, exactly, does this letting go thing work? You and Janine better text me please? Please?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Deep breaths! You got this!
    Kerith Stull recently posted…Hiatus Over: Welcome Back Inspiration and FocusMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

  • Clark Scottroger - …I repeat. hoky smoke!*
    Evocative as always… you have his back (in all the ways that are important) and he knows it (in ways that he might not think it’s necessary to acknowledge). That’s all we (as children and adults) can hope for, no?
    Now…the last minute trip to the amused park, that is what (the child inside me) reminds me is a cool parent.

    * old cultural referenceSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It is okay to be sad. It’s an end, but it’s a beginning. And you’ll be in my heart tomorrow, as Tucker goes to school and flys.
    Dana recently posted…Beginnings and endsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - If it helps any, I had all these same fears about the twins going into high school this year. It’s natural to worry. I have no doubt Tucker will do fine. He’s an amazing kid.
    Twindaddy recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful #63My ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Beautifully said. You so well capture the bittersweetness of it all. Thank you!
    Elizabeth recently posted…TRIPPING ACROSS THE PONDMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you huge, Elizabeth. I’m sortof in shock that it’s happened so quickly. Feels like Tucker was a baby just well, a few months ago? Bittersweet is the perfect word.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • KeAnne - Hugs and good luck tomorrow! I hope you both have a great day and first week. We survived ours although I think we already have a cold. Awesome ;-) September 1, 2014 – 12:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie @ The Latchkey Mom - I was thinking about you today and hoping you were okay. I think you would feel this way, on the cusp of kindergarten whatever the situation. Tucker is your first born AND your baby – so you’re feelings are magnified. Your fears are valid, but I truly believe he will fly:)! Hang in there momma.
    Allie @ The Latchkey Mom recently posted…Guest Post: Passings & CrossingsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 12:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Allie, for reminding me that it’s totally normal and for saying that Tucker is my first born (because I still could have many babies!!!). I think he’ll fly, too… but thank you… xoox
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - I have faith in all Kindergarten teachers to love, honor and cherish the essence of 5 year-olds everywhere. Always harder on the moms. I remember crying my eyes out when my daughter started Kindergarten. She was fine and happy. Me, not so much. September 1, 2014 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I am a very non-confrontationl person and I avoid fights at all costs – except when it comes to my kids. I have confronted people and said things and done things I never thought I could do in the name of making things right for my kids. I hope you don’t have to fight to make things fine for Tucker, but if you do I know you will. And, yay, for last minute summer celebrations – we stayed in the pool far too late last night splashing and laughing, knowing it probably won’t happen again until next summer. Hugs to you, friend! I know tomorrow will be hard, but you all come out on the other side with a smile and new found grace & love!
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…School Year ResolutionsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 2:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Lisa!! I so very much hope that I don’t have to fight for things to be right for Tucker either, but it’s a big change that nobody tells us about! He’s got an advantage in that he’s been riding the bus, goes to school, etc. But this is a new school, new bus, new teacher, new ALL OF IT, and well, sigh he’s super shy and scared. I bought him a $50 lego thing today after he cried about going to school without me tomorrow. DOH. I’m so happy you spent the time last night in the pool. I wish I lived there so that we could come and hoard at your pool!! <3
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Tracie - “When we don’t know, and are not in control, we will become the grace.” This. So much this.

    I hope you both find all the grace you need tomorrow and throughout this year. It is a big change, but you are an awesome mom, and I know you have prepared him as much as possible for the newness of it all. The rest will all work out.
    Tracie recently posted…Last WordsMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you, Tracie. I think that the grace comes when we need it the most, as you show in your own post about your grandmother. You feel the grace, as does she. Here’s to all of us feeling it when we need it the very most. Thank you so much!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I think the anxiety you feel is something parents across the board feel. No matter what the conditions, how old, or milestones they’ve crossed. I felt like that for the the 1 year old class on up to first grade. I’ve leveled out for 3rd and 4th and surely next year for 5th but I am sure it will start over again for middle school and then high school, college and 1st job and so on. The wonderful thing about young ones is that they don’t judge so easily. And 99% of teachers are wonderful. My wish for Tucker is to have a wonderful first day tomorrow. Sleep well tonight mom!September 1, 2014 – 6:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Kenya! I took him to school this morning and he did completely fine! I did cry in the car before leaving the parking lot but assume that’s totally normal and justified. I hope Christopher is having an amazing first day in 4th grade!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 1:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - This is beautiful! Sending our children off to school can be terrifying for everyone! I think sending our special needs kids off to school, just makes it that much more horrifying. The unknown. At home, even the unknown is somewhat predictable with our kids. At school, it is like a black hole of chaos and unpredictability. The unknown. We just have to grip our pillow tight, smile and hope for the best. All we want for our kids is to have a happy, healthy life and really, nothing else matters.
    Echo recently posted…Let’s Do LunchMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Echo,
      You’re so so right that nothing else matters. :) But yeah, that unpredictability. Sigh. It’s a scary world out there.
      It gives me Whiplash to think about how fast he’s growing up. The years, they just come crawling faster.
      (nice job with the grip our pillow tight, by the way)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergargenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie - The first day of kindergarten is filled with all of the emotions but in the end it is a good day. We have to let our babies grow up and this is the first big step towards that. Your Tucker will be fine and so will you. He will fly because you are the wind beneath his wings. He will fly very high. Just you watch!
    Pattie recently posted…PackingMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 9:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you huge, Pattie. He did fly, and did not cry, although I did. I think that the test is more tomorrow, when he gets maybe what’s going on and where he’s going. His school was super nice though, and called me 1/2-way through the day to tell me he was fine which is big huge.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergartenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Big hugs for you! A week in, it’s going better than expected.September 1, 2014 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Darling Kristi it’s not the end, it’s yet another wonderful beginning. My four (from 8th grade to K) evoke the same feelings in me year after year. And every end-of-summer I hold my breath and repeat my mantras and every spring I thrill to realize it’s almost summer again :). Sending big love and wishes for a happy First-Day-of-Kindergarten for your superstar xxSeptember 1, 2014 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Rudell Beach - Good luck to Tucker, and to you!! <3September 1, 2014 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - I still claim FRIST. And this is AWESOME and beautifully and wonderfully written as Tucker is beautifully and wonderfully made and parented and will be somehow altogether FINE even though things will happen and there will be wobbles and anxieties for both of you, because YOU will make it work. And he will fly :) September 1, 2014 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - I’ll be thinking of you and Tucker tomorrow. New chapters are always exciting and sad all at once.
    Kristi recently posted…Monday Morning in the Kitchen: How I Used 40 Pounds of Ground BeefMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 12:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, K2 and thanks so much for reaching out today. That meant so very very much to me and I really appreciated it then and now. He seemed okay. The test will be tomorrow, right?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergartenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Hi Kristi: Yes, part of growing with your kids is learning to let go and grow with them in a state of grace. I’ve enjoyed my kids at each stage of their lives, and seeing how their view of the world and their place in it is evolving. Looking forward to hearing about Tucker’s awesome Kindergarten year!September 2, 2014 – 1:24 amReplyCancel

  • christine - I’m thinking of you today! How are you doing? How did drop-off go? How many tears were there? I am 13 minutes away from leaving the house to take my youngest to preschool. Sure, I’ve taught there and my kids have attended the school for 13 years, but I’m still sad to leave him.
    Can’t wait to hear how it all went!
    christine recently posted…Good Grief, It’s Sunday Already! TToT Week 63My ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 8:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you big huge, Christine! Drop off went really well. While Tucker cried earlier and actually told me that I hurt his feelings b/c I couldn’t go to class with him, he seemed fine when I left. His aide left me a message as well, letting me know he was having a great day so eeep!! And yeah, the whole sad to leave them stuff. It’s big. No matter how long it’s been going on for!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergartenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I know that today is THE day. I hope you are doing okay. You have done all things right by Tucker. He is a strong and amazing boy, Kristi. And you are a strong and amazing mama. This post just hit home for me. As parents, we watch our children grow and see them deal with the consequences, decisions, and hard things that come with growing up and hitting the different stages. It’s never, ever all the time easy. I still cry in the car sometimes for all of my kids. They deal with so much. But you know what? They deal. They have been raised to know that I am here, always. You said it all when you wrote that with all that we have we will do everything we can to make it okay. And when it’s not, we’ll find another way. That is the way it is done. Hang in there today! I’ll be thinking of you and can’t wait to hear how it went!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…All the Happy Ending You’re Going to Get-Part 1My ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 10:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you huge, Sandy. I know as in the *know* that it’s okay and that he’s okay (as okay as okay is) but wow, what a huge change, ya know? I mean, for me as in he’s no longer a baby, and for him, in that he’s no longer a baby, if that makes sense. I guess I just miss the baby, and the him, and the all of it that means he’s becoming more to the world and less to me… if that makes sense. Also? It went really really well. He did great. He was happy to see me, supposedly didn’t cry or hit, and well, I think it went perfectly – or as much as I can ask for. Thank you again.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergartenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Astrid - Oh, I totally understand your mixed emotions. I remember I was actually aware that Kindergarten was the beginning of the end of my childhood, and this was painful. When I turned foru (which is when kids start Kindergarten here), the teachers and othe rkids sang “and this is really old”, and I protested that I wasn’t old, at which point they changed the song to “it’s not old at all”.
    Astrid recently posted…An Open Letter to My TeachersMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 6:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Astrid, you remember when you were four? I’m a little (big) impressed by that because I don’t really remember anything until I was at least five! And yeah, the beginning to the end of childhood? So sad, as a person and as a parent. Sigh. I LOVE that you made your teachers and class change the words to the song! “It’s not old at all!” LOVE!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergartenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - How did school go for Tucker today?
    Susan Zutautas recently posted…A Young Buck on Wordless WednesdayMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It was awesome Susan. I love love love that you asked. Of course, he does not want to go back tomorrow, but he was really happy today and that, I suppose, is the biggest next big thing.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…On Finding Grace In KindergartenMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Each moment of each day- you have a purpose. Each moment of each day- was meant to be. Every moment. Meant to be. Has a purpose. Each step. Whether faltering, fearful, falling…

    Look back at all your days, moments, steps.

    You’ll find it in your history.

    Now go make more miraculous history.

    Every day. Every moment. Every step.

    Meant to be.

    On purpose.

    Miraculous.
    Chris Carter recently posted…A New Book To Buy! “How I Earned My Wrinkles: Musings on Marriage, Motherhood, and MenopauseMy ProfileSeptember 2, 2014 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Beautifully articulated, and I just read in the comments that his first day went well, which makes me so happy! Here’s to many, many more awesome days ahead!
    K recently posted…Sidewalks Are My Nemesis (and other news!)My ProfileSeptember 3, 2014 – 12:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Oh! You are right! I saw so many final summer photos and activities from so many blog friends recently. I know already that Tucker had a good first day and for that I’m thankful that the anticipation of that is over so you can feel more at ease right now. I know the worry won’t go away completely per se since he has to go to school several times a week, but so far so good! In that picture of you two I can see your smile in his!
    Brittnei recently posted…#TuesdayTen :Things I Need To LearnMy ProfileSeptember 3, 2014 – 7:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks, Brittnei! I love that you can see my smile in his, and yeah, so far, so good with kindergarten although I’ll learn more on Tuesday night at back to school night, when we’ll be able to spend more time with the teachers and aides and therapists!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Dang, this is me in a couple years. I’m terrified, I’m scared, I can only hope all of these bloggers I’ve seen posting about the start of kindergarten recently, including yours, prepare me for that day. I definitely need these years to prepare because I’m a sap like that. Yet, I’m also excited for you and your son, there are so many experiences to be had!September 3, 2014 – 9:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Rebecca,
      So sorry that you’re also terrified – it’s terrifying, letting these precious humans grow up and spend so much time with us not knowing how they’re doing each minute of the day. I hope that by the time kindergarten comes for you, that you’re ready (although I don’t think any of us really ever can be ready!!). Thanks so much for your comment and I do know that this will be wonderful for him.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittney Paul - I just stumbled upon your blog. I feel like we have so much in common. I have a 4 year old son who has been evaluated by the school board/doctors and they don’t have any concerns for Autism. But he does have severe speech impediment/delays (they think it may be Aprexia), social/emotional delays and a bit of OCD tendencies. I have an 8 year old with high functioning Autism and IED. Also have a 2 year old with NF1, which comes with learning disabilities. He’s currently in Early Steps. We won’t know much on him till he’s a little older. I am so glad to find someone who can relate to one of my situations, at least. lolSeptember 3, 2014 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • GaYLA kEEHN - My sons kindergarten was the worst year he ever had in school. He is now 25. They had two kindergarten teachers and neither were happy about “handicapped” kids being “thrust” upon them. The one my son had told me she did not go into teaching to be in Special Education and they should be in their own classroom away from the other kids. The Special kids made noises and distracted the typical kids from learning. Thankfully, my son had an aide who was almost always with him. The following year, my son got a wonderful teacher and he had many more really good teachers after that. He is such a blessing.
    Gayla Keehn, Clarksville, IN.September 4, 2014 – 4:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Gayla, that’s so awful that your son’s kindergarten teachers were not happy about having special needs kids in class. Horrible!! I’m so glad to read that your son had wonderful teachers after that. All children are blessings!! Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - Hang in there, mamma! You and Tucker will make it. I’m praying his kindergarten teacher loves him as much as you do and makes the transition a smooth one. Thanks for sharing your fears and dreams at the DifferentDream.com Tuesday link up.September 4, 2014 – 8:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Krista Parker - I saw your video on talking about being a mom to a special needs child. I am sure that you have received millions of emails from other mothers saying that they could have written the exact same words for their sons/daughters. I came to your blog to check it out and almost gasped at your Kindergarten post. Our son, Kiefer, who was recently diagnosed, just started kindergarten as well. Looks like we have age in common as well. I love reading your posts. Look forward to reading more. :) September 5, 2014 – 4:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - That was SO beautiful. I’ve been thinking of you and Tucker so much this week, and sending love. September 5, 2014 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Laurie Hollman PhD @ Parental Intelligence - Hi. Kindergarten is a great milestone, but to keep it in perspective, it’s not the conclusion of a journey but just another piece of the stretch and reach into the possible. There will be many teachers, some more or less nurturing, but YOU are the primary teacher, the life coach as they say, and you’re #1 at that. Hope this week and the days moving forward are filled with happy opportunities that will clearly always be surrounded by your devoted love.
    Laurie
    Laurie Hollman PhD @ Parental Intelligence recently posted…Comment on Mommy Blogs: Where Moms Make Friends by LaurieMy ProfileSeptember 6, 2014 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Laurie. I know, as in *know* that it’s not a conclusion… but it often feels like one, if that makes sense. Thank you so much and I do know that my son will reach and soar and that he’s going to be amazing, at all stages. And that maybe, I will too…
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 7, 2014 – 11:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - “Witnessing our children experiencing childhood is likely much more magical and awe-inspiring than actually living childhood was for us, or is for them.”
    I think you may be right, Kristi. And I think it’s because our children are magical and awe-inspiring…much more than we ever imagined they could be. True for you? It is for me.
    I like what Laurie Hollman said in her comment – this is just one of many milestone, each a step along the way. I think I’m going to hold on to that one because what I’ve been kind of stuck on lately is that with one child, every one of her firsts…is also a last. Ugh! How easy to get bogged down in the sadness of that??? But I don’t want to do that and as a result miss all the fantastic things that await her – and me.
    Hope Kindergarten is going well for all of you so far! XOXOXOSeptember 7, 2014 – 1:19 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Totally true for me, Lisa. Totally, and completely. I think you’re right about when we have an ONLY child, that we know that every first is also a last. While exciting and wonderful, also heartbreaking and sad… I don’t want to get bogged down in the sadness either. <3
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…Childhood. It’s His Turn, Now. My ProfileSeptember 7, 2014 – 11:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - LOVE this one too. So beautiful. It’s amazing how these milestones help us really soak the kids up. I think it’s God’s way of making us appreciate them, instead of rushing through it. :)
    Meredith recently posted…Help for Marisha DotsonMy ProfileSeptember 10, 2014 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Carin Kilby Clark - Love this! This is always a nerve-wracking time – and not just when they start Kindergarten. There’s the first year of middle, high, college – oh man, so many times where a brand new adventure will be waiting. :) September 11, 2014 – 1:14 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - I’m really glad you shared this Kristi! My 3yo is lagging behind at school too. She has speech delays and it looks like she is having a hard time keeping up with her classmates. It pains me so much! I just do what I can to help her. Hoping to have even at least half of your strength and patience.
    Jhanis recently posted…Flat Rice Cakes (Palitaw Recipe)My ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 5:05 amReplyCancel

  • Lillian Connelly - My daughter started preK this year and we have all been staring in awe at her. It seems like just yesterday she was a baby. We cannot believe how tall she is nor how grown up. It’s almost a shock. I hope your son has enjoyed school so far. I can understand your fears and concerns.
    Lillian Connelly recently posted…Mommy Death MarchMy ProfileSeptember 11, 2014 – 9:26 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Sweet photos Kristi. How is Tucker liking Kindergarten so far? And the driving? My Max just started high school (I know!) and while I was filling out the paperwork, there was a section about permission for them to drive to and from school. I was like “Oh yeah…there will be THAT in a couple years.” EEK! September 11, 2014 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Stacey Gill - Aww. Very sweet post. I’m sure everything will work out. I was nervous when my son first went to school but it was more over the academics and making sure the teachers were all on the same page and he was getting the services he needed (he has an IEP). I was worried he might become overwhelmed & turned off. But none of that happened (although I fought the whole way thru to get him what he needed). Now he’s in middle school and loving it. I’d just say communicate with the teachers – daily if necessary. I found some really wonderful teachers and we worked together. September 11, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • One Funny Motha - Aww. Very sweet post. I’m sure everything will work out. I was nervous when my son first went to school but it was more over the academics and making sure the teachers were all on the same page and he was getting the services he needed (he has an IEP). I was worried he might become overwhelmed & turned off. But none of that happened (although I fought the whole way thru to get him what he needed). Now he’s in middle school and loving it. I’d just say communicate with the teachers – daily if necessary. I found some really wonderful teachers and we worked together. September 11, 2014 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land Series post was authored by the introspective and compassionate author Yvonne, of Inquiring Parent (and book Drawings in Sand).  Yvonne is the amazing woman who taught me that the difference between self esteem and self compassion is actually not only significant, but is super important. Yvonne practices what she preaches, and documents the process in a way that is inspiring and […]

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  • Considerer - *taps mic*

    *coughs*

    *is overcome by sudden stage fright*
    Considerer recently posted…Two years in the ‘sphereMy ProfileAugust 27, 2014 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - My mother always taught me I should treat others the way I would like to be treated and refill to this day I try my best to heed those words, because probably one the best pieces of advice I ever got. Reading this, I could truly relate and like I said I very much always try to respect others and think of how they would feel before I do react for the most part.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Sunflowers, Back To School & Wonderful Wednesday #88My ProfileAugust 27, 2014 – 8:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I try to think of how other people would feel, too, Janine but I don’t always do a good job of not assuming that they don’t respect me or something. If that makes sense.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Janine, how great that you have been able to follow your mother’s wise advice.
      As a child I remember reading “The Water Babies” in which were Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by, and Mrs Be-Done-By-As-You-Did. You can imagine the latter was a bit fierce and I aspired to be Mrs DAYWBDY! Yet, I didn’t always find it easy, partly because although many adults tell children that’s how to live, they don’t follow it themselves so kids get punished. This process has helped me a lot.
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 4:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Karen Perry - Yvonne is awesome! She recommended a children’s book by Byron Katie called Tiger-Tiger Is It True and I bought it for my kids. It really helped my 5 year old turn around his thoughts so that instead of saying things like, “You never lightsaber fight with me,” he says, “You lightsaber fight with me sometimes after you cook dinner.” He really caught on to how our thoughts affect how we feel. I tried the same technique with my 4 year old daughter and she said, “Mommy, stop talking like the book.” You can’t win them all!August 27, 2014 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Where the hell IS everyone? This is BRILLIANT :D

    Ohhh Yvonne – you make it all sound so INCREDIBLY simple :) August 27, 2014 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - This is what I needed to hear today, this week, this summer:

    “Times with my children came to mind. If realised that if I think they should respect me when it seems they aren’t, I feel hurt and defensive. Without the thought, I wonder if something is bothering them. I realise that their behaviour doesn’t mean anything about me.

    With the thought – it’s personal. Without the thought – it’s not.”

    I’ve been bothered with the emergence of the term “respect” in my dialogue (which is really more of a monologue these days) with my son. As you know I come from the Middle East where part of the culture is evaluating yourself, the environment etc based on the concept of respect. I often found talk of respect and the demanding of it, as you describe in your post, a bit laughable. As you suggest those who deserve respect don’t get it by demanding it. And now I’m a parent to a five-year-old boy and I constantly demand respect. I demand respect and cringe.

    This was precisely what I needed, as I was starting to feel this dissonance with myself. As usual, I am bookmarking this and will be coming back to it. What a WONDERFUL addition to Our Land, Kristi I think it brings a totally new dimension to the series by offering some practical advice on our way to wonder and compassion.

    You, Yvonne, are my guru (or to quote rap, Respect. ;-) )
    Katia recently posted…My ‘Before School Starts’ Bucket ListMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so agree, Katia! I think it’s hard to not demand respect from our kids at times when demanding it goes against getting it really. I love how Yvonne breaks it down here and makes me realize that whatever feelings I’m having are my feelings, not the people who I attribute them to. Thanks so much!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Oh Katia! “I demand respect and cringe.” Been there, done that! I can definitely relate, and to what you write about teh dissonance with yourself. It can be such a challenge to step away from the way our culture predominantly behaves, and I definitely struggled with that a lot when my girls were small. (And occasionally do now.) Sometimes we know something in our hearts, but because all around us seem to see it differently we don’t trust our knowing. That’s why it’s so wonderful to have this amazing tool the internet!

      I love what you wrote here; it’s so wonderful to see how this is resonating with you (and with others!)
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie @ The Latchkey Mom - Wow, that was a lot to take in – all of it good stuff. Honestly, I printed it out because I think it’s something I need to read again (and again). I love the concept of the turnaround! And I agree, I think our fears and insecurities get in the way of how we perceive reality. wow, wow, wow…
    Allie @ The Latchkey Mom recently posted…Once Upon a Time: My Visions of the FutureMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie,
      I love the concept of the turnaround, too. So true that our own fears and insecurities form our perceptions which really may or may not be accurate. Thanks, Allie!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Allie, the process can take a while to get used to. But so worth it.
      The turnarounds are powerful and do be sure to go through the questions first, because otherwise they can sometimes feel like self-judgments – which is never their purpose. Instead it’s to see innocence in ourselves and others.
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Wow Yvonne! This is amazing. I think I need to re-read it a few more times to totally understand it though. It is wonderful that this book changed your life and this process seems liberating!!
    Chris Carter recently posted…47 Years Of ThankfulMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think I need to read it at least weekly, Chris and thank you so much for coming by! Here’s to all of us learning and growing.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 4:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Yvonne - Chris, yes liberating is the word I’d use too! I remember not long after I’d read the book, realising that almost everything I thought was probably a lot of nonsense, so I didn’t have to take it too seriously. Now, if only I had remembered that all the time! :)
      Yvonne recently posted…This Post is a Waste of Time (or maybe not)My ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - I loved this and I love yvonne. I think the practice aspect is the most important. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense but you just have to do it. In a car so can’t be too eloquent. :) August 28, 2014 – 1:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, THANK YOU so much for having me on your blog and for letting me share this wonderful tool. I am so thrilled that people are finding it resonates.
    And thank you everyone for your comments.
    Yvonne recently posted…Respect – and how to get itMy ProfileAugust 28, 2014 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Samantha Ryan - I am being reminded that I really need to return to The Work. I love how easy Yvonne make things sound. So encouraging!!!! I loved this all over the place.August 28, 2014 – 7:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Intriguing post. Yvonne, I am just now becoming aware of your writing (initially through FTSF and now through Kristi). Not sure about what The Work is, but I’ll check it out. Thanks for sharing!
    Anna Fitfunner recently posted…Game Review: Go Go MongoMy ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 1:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne is great, Anna. She’s the one who let me know about the difference between self compassion and self esteem, which is really a huge difference.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Our Land: Feeling RespectedMy ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Rudell Beach - Indeed, it’s about not taking things so personally. When we feel “disrespected” it’s often, though not always, not at all about us. And we have to realize we can’t change what that other person is doing, but we can learn not to take it personally. We can question why we are demanding that someone else make us feel a certain way. Lovely post, Yvonne.August 29, 2014 – 4:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - Yvonne, I love this so much. I also love The Work and Byron Katie in general. Reading that book changed my life. I love how you brought that practice to Our Land today- thank you! August 29, 2014 – 5:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Very interesting perspective—especially on the “turnaround.” I think respect has to start within ourselves. We can’t expect others to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves.
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Oh, The Places You’ll Go!My ProfileAugust 29, 2014 – 9:17 pmReplyCancel

  • April - I actually stopped getting angry with people when I started believing the quote from Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” The reason for that is, when they act a certain way, I know that’s who they are. I can try to change them, but I also realize that it’s not about me. I have enjoyed immensely learning about other people in this process, some people are closer to me than others because of it. I don’t expect everyone to respect me, nor do I demand it, especially if it’s a person in passing. That story of the teacher reminds me of the issue with blacks and tipping. There’s a whole “thing” where blacks don’t tip, yet blacks tend to get worse service. It’s not bad or rude service, it’s just not as good, not as attentive as you can visually see from other tables. But where did it start? Someone started, and others continued. I know when I get good service, I give a good tip (great = great too!). I actually had one server hug me after a rough service with our table. She was great, even though there was a lot of us and a couple of orders changed. Our tip was about 25% on a large bill. Before she looked at it, she was irritated and upset. I had a feeling she expected less than great because we did have so many issues. But she actually hugged me. It was really sweet. I just remember, it’s not about me.
    April recently posted…Getting a Grip While in the GymMy ProfileAugust 31, 2014 – 7:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Phenomenal! I am going to read this one over and over!
    Elizabeth recently posted…TRIPPING ACROSS THE PONDMy ProfileSeptember 1, 2014 – 12:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Yvonne , I cannot tell you how eye opening this is! I sat here reading this and could point out so many parallels in my own thinking and how I need to change that thinking. The point is truer than true that when I expect people to act a certain way, treat me a certain way, and that doesn’t happen, I get angry, frustrated. This is going straight to my Pocket because I know this will not be the last time I visit this post! Thank you!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…All The Happy Ending You’re Going To Get-Part TwoMy ProfileSeptember 4, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra Sikora - Ah Yes! Yes!Yes! That’s what I have to say about that. September 8, 2014 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

N e v e r   m i s s   a   n e w   p o s t !