Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Sometimes, writers think they don’t have anything to say. More often, writers have too much to say, but can’t say what they want to, don’t have the energy to do so, or feel paralyzed by their now, or memories of deep, dark, nameless stories. Writers share the un-sharable. They breathe life into rattling bones of […]

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  • My Inner Chick - Great tips, Sweets.

    Everybody has their own process, don’t they.

    I agree w/ the READ. READ. Read.

    I mean, how can one write if one doesn’t read? NO. Impossible.

    I’ll never forget what one of my writing instructors told us.

    She said, “NEVER apologize for your story, writing, words. This is your gift to the world.”

    …as you said, “there are countless better writers than I.”

    but they are NOT “YOU!”

    You are SPECIAL & Amazing.

    xxxxxx from MN.June 22, 2017 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love the advice from your writing instructor. It’s so true (and at times, hard to remember). Our stories are our gifts to the world. YOU are special and amazing, Kim! <3June 23, 2017 – 8:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - This is so true about writing. I often have a list of things I could write about and want to write about but have trouble figuring out which angle I want to use. And of course, the angle I start with is rarely the one I end up with. But I love all your suggestions. I could use some of these—especially sitting on the stoop. I especially love that one because it encourages us to SLOW down and check out the world. Even if it is for only a little bit.

    I wish I could write as prolific as you. And then you respond to each of our answers too. I have decided you must be the MOST ORGANIZED mother on the face of the planet. Anyhow, I do believe we were born to tell stories. I especially like yours. 🙂

    Happy Friday to you!June 23, 2017 – 1:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love the moments on the stoop. You’ll have to let me know if you try it. For me, it’s a mini-vacation from my head and it helps me to remember how big the world really is.
      Also? OMG I am SO NOT organized. At all. Truly. Thursday nights, Robert comes home earlier than usual, and I eek something out. I edit (usually) the next day… I’m really not organized. One of these days, I’ll get the nerve up to send you a photo of our office. It’s horrifying.
      And I especially like YOUR stories, too. <3June 23, 2017 – 8:42 pmReplyCancel

  • JY Walters - I think my writing sucks so I’d say I can’t write all the time. You have looked at my stuff so you know. However, I insist the only way I will be a better writer is if I continue to write.

    After a marathon writing session around 10K words I have to take a mental break and the go right back at it. Most of the story is mental written before I turn on the computer. Writing, even poor, is healing. Breaks are not writer’s block but a rest. Mentally, I am writing all the time.

    Great article!!!June 23, 2017 – 9:12 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Your writing does NOT suck!!! At all! Thanks, JT!June 23, 2017 – 8:48 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - Brilliant article and very well written. Aw, thanks for the kind review beta!😘June 23, 2017 – 9:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - These are fantastic. I do a lot of these to find inspiration.

    I also agree that often writer’s have too much to say and sometimes, it becomes all jumbled and it sounds like a bunch of nonsense. I tend to have that problem, word vomit. When my words get upchucked all over the page and make a huge mess, lol.

    I guess, we should just grab some whiskey in a jar, turn the page and try to reload.June 23, 2017 – 9:22 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sometimes I have so much to say and then it’s just crap on the screen, totally all over the place. Here’s to whiskey in a jar and turning the page. And then, reloading. xoxoJune 23, 2017 – 9:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - So true, just doing it and then just doing it being the hardest. I find that I have to get out of my bubble because that I have a drawer full of stories just by looking at the pictures, but I have to try too hard to get the story started. When I go somewhere else to write or at least get it started I’m able to tune out Starbucks or the book store, but I can’t tune out the interruptions calling me at home. Two are calling now……..Netttttflixxxxx, fooooldddd clooooothesssss.June 23, 2017 – 1:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to the two calling you now! Interesting that you can tune out at Starbucks or the book store. Maybe I need to try that again. I end up feeling self concious there for some dumb reason. I like to write in the basement (it’s a townhouse) all alone. Then I can go to the stoop and Tucker can’t hear me. Of course, for this to work, Robert needs to be home, both fed. Or, both asleep. That happens a lot. NETTTTTFLIXXXXX.June 23, 2017 – 9:19 pmReplyCancel

We’d finished supper, wiped the table, and loaded lingering plates into the dishwasher. My brothers and I dressed in our jammies to carry bowls of popcorn to the basement where we waited while Dad loaded the projector with slides. Neighbors knocked, hugged my mom, poured cold beer or soda into fizzing glasses, and came downstairs. […]

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  • Emily - That photo in the kayak is awesome…frame it, please!!June 16, 2017 – 12:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Well, I was too lazy to get a post up this week, and I have no vacation excuses either! I could get lost for hours in old photos – even just glancing at the ones on my phone is like walking down memory lane. And FB’s “On this day…” – somedays I want to reach through the screen and squeeze those little faces I see staring back at me.June 16, 2017 – 2:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - There’s still time if you decide to join! And I know exactly what you mean about the Facebook “On this day…” ones. EEEP! Seriously!June 16, 2017 – 7:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - It’s amazing how photos can take us on a journey backwards and usually to happier times, even if some of those memories make us cry.

    Remembering the past is just as important as worrying about the future.

    We all have to Turn The Page.June 17, 2017 – 8:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Love how you fit Turn the Page in there so perfectly! Here’s to remembering the past and our former selves for whom The Bell has Tolled!June 17, 2017 – 1:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - I could get lost for hours looking at pictures. In fact, I often times do. I love looking at pictures of my children when they were younger. I marvel at how much they’ve grown. I have walls in my living room covered with picture frames and memories. I love it.June 17, 2017 – 5:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I have walls covered with photos and memories too and love love love it! Sometimes, I think about updating them to more recent ones but I just add recent ones where they fit next to the older ones. I like it that way!June 17, 2017 – 8:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I remember sitting and watching 8mm film movies with my entire family at my grandparents’ house when we were kids. Such great stuff. And I love seeing the photos we have taken on the same days as the movies were filmed – always cool to connect the moving pictures with the still, to know the stories behind them. Beautiful stuff.June 19, 2017 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that you watched old movies too Lisa! And yeah, the photos that take us back. They really do help me remember moments I’d have otherwise forgotten.June 19, 2017 – 9:07 pmReplyCancel

I love the idea of summer more than I love summer days. Yes, summer is walking in the light at 9:00 pm, sleeping late, and the beauty of unstructured days. Summer is the vibrant hum of kids laughing and splashing, porch-sitting, and barbecues with friends. The beach during the summer months is probably why scrapbooking […]

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  • Robin - As always, you say what is in my heart.June 8, 2017 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I think you’re going to see some very similar thoughts on my page – I’m just searching for photos. You’ve said what’s on my mind (again) and this time, what will also be on my post. 😀 Let’s talk about #6 – I say that so often! So true.
    Can’t believe how grown-up that not-so-little boy is looking. They are not supposed to be this big.June 8, 2017 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Great minds, right? And I know…they’re so not supposed to be this big. Sigh. Also, yuck to being hot and again, great minds! 😉June 9, 2017 – 6:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Hazel eats cicadas, so that’s disgusting. I’m with you on so many of these things, Kristi – the heat and humidity, the bugs, the awesome summer hair (wow!). You know what would make this summer even better? Seeing you!June 9, 2017 – 7:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ew to Hazel eating cicadas. One of my neighbors told me that her daughter (8) heard that they taste like shrimp, so she’s been begging her mom to grill them. UM NO. And yes, let’s make a lunch date!June 9, 2017 – 6:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi - I hate mosquitos more than anything. My daughter and I once spent a blissful summer evening reading in our rope-based hammock only to discover that both of us had mosquito bites ON OUR BEHINDS EVEN THOUGH WE WERE WEARING JEANS. JEANS. Yes, all-caps because MOSQUITOS CAN APPARENTLY BITE THROUGH JEANS. Mosquitos are jerks. I’m with you – summer without the nasty bugs would be way better!June 9, 2017 – 11:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Through your jeans?!?!!? That’s just wrong! OMG. I hate them. I hate ticks more because they scare me that they could be living on me and I wouldn’t know it but mosquitos suck. (literally hehe)June 9, 2017 – 6:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Girl, I’m with you!! I love the lazy days, not packing lunches, etc. but I despise the bugs, the heat, and the bathing suits!June 9, 2017 – 4:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Love this list Kristi.

    I was just in the Yukon last week and it is light there, all day and night. The sun sets but it remains perpetual twilight until sunrise a few short hours later. Being back since and experiencing that starts my summer off in a weird way.

    We just hit the start of mosquito season there too and I hardly remember being bothered by them at all. Their black fly season is August. I remember the black flys and the difference between them and mosquitos we have here.

    I actually like the sound of cicadas in the trees or grass, but not right in front of me. It’s the June bugs that make me cringe. They buzz on my porch or I hear one at the screen when I am inside, thankfully on the other side from the actual bug.

    The bathing suit thing really can be awful. I know we all want that not to be the case. How come it always is?

    Both my nephews have birthdays in August, just ten days apart. It makes gift giving a big thing right around then, as I am forever trying to be the awesome aunt who buys them the exact thing they’ve been wanting.

    My grandmas died in June/July and that is hard, but both my transplant (June 97) and my brother’s (July, 2013) make this time of year special and a season I celebrate, even though I hate humidity and spend most of my time in an air conditioned place.

    I hope you and Tucker have a great summer though. I do remember how exciting it was, when I was in school. That feeling is the best.June 12, 2017 – 8:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kerry,
      I just googled June bugs because I wasn’t sure what they were and realized we have them too – gross! For some reason, cicadas bother me more (maybe because they’re bigger, and louder??). I’m ok with them in the trees too but they have flown into my house twice, into a light and the noise and trying to get them out while they sizzle… ugh. Stuff of scary dreams! My husband actually broke a light that he was trying to get one out of!
      For the bathing suits, I wish we all just accepted that bodies are beautiful no matter what. But, we don’t. Sigh. I’ll bet your the best auntie ever for your nephews – that you care so much about getting them just what they want is so special and they’ll remember that forever.
      Sorry about your grandmas – remembering any deaths are hard for sure. I’m glad you and your brother’s transplants are able to bring a month of celebration to the months they both died.
      I hope you have a great summer too! Only 8 more days of school for Tucker!June 13, 2017 – 7:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I know I’m repeating myself, but I love it so much when you illustrate your posts! It’s actually one of my favourite things. Bugs are terrible and ruin everything. I 100% agree with you on everything. And Tucker’s hair is to die for. I may take it to the salon with me because that wouldn’t be creepy at all. Love you!June 12, 2017 – 4:55 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks, Katia! Bugs suck! LOL to taking Tuck’s hair to the salon with you!!! ;D LOVE YOU!June 13, 2017 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - Oh my god, the bugs! Burn them all. Give me fuel and fire, man! Also, unstructured days, yes, I feel you. My son has NO CLUE what to do with himself and I mean that literally. I’ll be in the sanitarium, with my jar of whiskey by July!June 12, 2017 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Echo! I know! Fuel and fire and burn them all!! LOL to unstructured days and sanitarium with a jar of whiskey by July!! (Same here OMG)
      I’ll be right there with you. We’ll get through without the bell tolling (I hope). Look to the sky just before…June 13, 2017 – 7:31 pmReplyCancel

The month of June feels like school papers left in empty hallways, later bedtimes, and clock-less poolside afternoons. June holds promise of sweaty adventures had in fresh-cut grass. June is fireflies, flip flops, and the birth of fairies. It’s the neighbor’s music dancing through open windows. The month of June also feels like self doubt, […]

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  • Kerry - June is fireflies, flip flops, and the birth of fairies.
    It’s the neighbor’s music dancing through open windows.

    I love all this Kristi. I hope you have a fantastic June. I would love to take part in this one, as this particular June is super meaningful and important to me, but I am flying early tomorrow morning. Not sure I have time, as I still have not finished packing. Oops!

    🙂

    So, maybe if I finish fast and have an hour or so of time in the middle of tonight, as I can’t sleep and am waiting for my ride to the airport.

    Either way, I may still write my June post in the next one, tying it together with whatever next week’s sentence starter is or something.June 2, 2017 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Kerry and I’d LOVE to hear about your June. I hope you write about it whether it’s in time or not (also I can always add links later although I don’t think the other participants go back to read, if that matters). I hope you’re going somewhere amazing and wonderful and that you have a fantastic June and weekend and evening!!! Also? I always pack at the last minute. I’m convinced it works best.June 2, 2017 – 9:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - “We realize that being closer to 50 than to childhood is as it should be.” Yeah, so true. I sometimes find closer to 50 hard to digest, but right now it’s exactly what’s meant to be.
    This is beautiful…love every bit of it. June is indeed all of those things.June 4, 2017 – 7:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - This was sweet and beautiful and vivid…and how awesome about swim team. The mere fact that he wants to try it is what matters. Whether it ends up being too much or not enough or just perfect isn’t as important as the fact that he is willing to take the risk and try…I’ve been trying to convince Little dude to try rowing (crew) next spring since he recently dropped playing baseball and doesn’t seem that enamored with tennis either…we’ll see!June 4, 2017 – 7:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Emily. I think you’re right that him wanting to try it is amazing, and well, yikes, still. AWWW to Little Dude doing Crew! I tried crew for a minute in college but they made us wake up way too early. It seems like such an awesome sport though. Tux hasn’t loved any sport much so far. Flag Football has been the best but my husband was coach so that was a big thing (some coaches were crazy mean, I think I said before). xoxo and HAPPY JUNE!!!June 4, 2017 – 11:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - So beautiful, poetic and nostagic. This reminded me of being a child more than being and adult mother. There was more freedom in June back then.

    I hope Tucker does well with swimming. Christopher loved swimming lessons until they asked him to be on the swim team. THen he told me he just wanted to swim by himself not with everybody. So that was the end of that.

    As for being an adult now #stupidnachosJune 5, 2017 – 12:55 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Kenya! There really was more freedom back then. I feel like parents didn’t worry so much, even though we didn’t have cell phones or any way to get in touch except to come home for dinner. I hope Tucker does well with swimming, too. We’ll see. I’m not sure he’s got the skill to do the team but we’re going to try it. Some neighbor kids that he looks up to are doing it too, so that might help.June 5, 2017 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Hahha! Hey June, definitely did remind me of Jude!
    I love June just because the kids will be out of school! I so hate schedules and so love summer!!June 6, 2017 – 7:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL Roshni! I love June too… although poor Tucker has 12 more days of school!June 7, 2017 – 9:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison G smith - First if all, you always ask the doctor – and pray he says yes, it’s an age spot. Your June sounds lovely. Mine is chaotic. Cammy started tennis this week, really not sure he’s ready. Guess he’ll be a runner. It really is the easiest and friendliest sport.June 15, 2017 – 8:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know I suck at the doctor stuff… June has been chaotic here too, although Tux and I went to the beach for a few days, which so helped. A runner is NOT the easiest, at least for me. I’ve hated running above all else since I was a kid… and so admire those who find peace in it!June 15, 2017 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Just J - This was truly lovely. You are coming to trust him more and yourself more, and accepting that in order for him to grow older you must as well, it is the natural progression of things and it is good. Fun as it might seem, we really don’t want to be our 20 or 40 year old selves forever, what matters most is that you son sees you as a warm refuge from the world, and always will.June 15, 2017 – 1:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you for that perspective! It’s true, them seeing us as a warm refuge matters so much more than the rest of it! Thank you!June 15, 2017 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

“I need to go to the doctor,” he said. We were heading home after a few hours at one of those indoor kid places filled with bounce houses, climbing structures, and dried turds at the bottom of a colorful ball pit. I asked why, and wondered how quickly the germs he’d been playing with might […]

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  • Linda Atwell - I am still feeling broken about this so-called idiot who is supposedly playing Pres. I think I’m going to try some of the things on your list to take my mind of our current political situation–which is not only scary, but it is also embarrassing. I don’t get it that some people think this man acts even remotely like a decent human being. I could go on..and on…and on, but I won’t. .

    BTW I remember when you wrote about Tucker thinking his mouth was broken. Him saying that hurt my heart too. I agree, we are all broken in some way(s). On a happy note, though, I LOVE Tucker’s sense of humor! I want to play that game with him. I’m sure he would CRACK ME UP! I’m so glad you are writing down all these things. They are going to be awesome to reread and treasure in the future….heck, they are wonderful right now. You are one lucky mama.May 26, 2017 – 1:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, I can’t even with the news most of the time. It’s just shocking and unbelievable. And SAD. I love Tucker’s sense of humor too and would love for you to play that game with him. I’ll warn you though – sometimes, it’s “would you rather be in burning lava for one minute or 30 seconds?” Um… Thanks, Linda! I agree with the lucky part 🙂May 26, 2017 – 2:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - What amazes me most about how you describe that exchange with Tucker is that even though he said his mouth was broken because people couldn’t understand him, he expressed himself SO beautifully! And your reply reminded me of how the mom replied in the movie, “Wonder.” I’m not sure if the movie is going to be as good as the book, but they just released the movie trailer and I cried the entire way through that!! Anyway, I’m off topic a bit, but I love the tips you gave above! I play “would you rather” with Matthew all the time too, except he gives me choices like, “would you rather eat a cockroach or have hundreds of them crawl all over you?” Yeah – great choices – ugh!! But, still great game too.:)May 26, 2017 – 8:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wonder is going to be a movie??? I listened to the audio book and adored it. Tucker listened to part of it with me as well. I wonder if the movie will be appropriate for kids (am excited anyway!!). LOL to eat a cockroach or have hundreds crawl on you. Gross!!! (and funny)May 26, 2017 – 2:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - I love this and I especially love #4 and #5. Clouds and nature can be very theraputic.

    Aven has asked me before, if he is broken and I always say of course not, you just work differently from other people. “So I’m weird then?” he asks, and I always say, “Of course you’re weird, you’re my son, aren’t you?”.

    You gotta give them fuel and give them fire, so they can get what they desire!May 26, 2017 – 11:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes yes yes to “You gotta give them fuel and give them fire, so they can get what they desire!” LOVE. I also love your answer of that of course he’s weird because he’s your son. Awesome!May 26, 2017 – 2:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Great advice! I do think that everyone is broken in some way – at least a little. I have a draft to link up with this but it one of those things we wrote about last week that we an’t actually write about. Sigh. Anyway, I like what you did with this. 🙂May 26, 2017 – 1:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OOH I hope you can find a way to write what you want without talking about what you don’t want to! And yeah, I think we’re all a little broken. And also all amazing.May 26, 2017 – 2:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Just J - This was an awesome post full of wisdom and good suggestions for dealing with the times we feel broken. I like that you clarified that some people truly are broken… damaged, sometimes beyond repair I think, and some people have broken spirits, but for most of us being broken has a lot to do with our perspective and approach to life. We are stronger than we think, and although at times it might feel like life is going to break us, in my experience it hasn’t yet and I doubt now that it ever will. Parts of us might be worn or broken, but we are survivors and we will find ways to carry on.May 26, 2017 – 8:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, J! I agree that for most of us, broken is our perspective and that we are so much stronger than we realize. Here’s to finding ways to carrying on and living this life in the best ways possible.May 28, 2017 – 11:25 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry - He thought his mouth was broken because people didn’t understand him. Awww.

    I often will go outside and sit and listen. I think about the moon that is in the sky and the same moon someone is seeing on the other side of the world. That fact simply blows my mind and helps to heal the parts of me that feel broken and cracking.

    This stuff with 45 is sad and all the violence lately is disturbing. You must be horribly broken in spirit and soul and mind to act so badly as he does and as that new guy down there who attacked the reporter and then there was the attack by the Russian guys at the embassy. Targeting a concert full of girls and people on a train. All done by broken people.

    I do love the fun you and Tucker are always having. Bald eagle or fish. I would want to fly too. Haha on the answer Tucker gave. Smart kid you have there. Such a logical answer. Feels like a rock/paper/scissors kind of an answer he came to there.May 28, 2017 – 2:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know – the broken mouth statement was hard. Poor kiddo. Thinking about somebody else looking at the same moon from a different area, a different life, a different everything is so humbling and refreshing, isn’t it? Such a good reminder that we’re all not alone, connected in ways unknown.
      And yeah, 45. Some days, I just cant read any more about what he’s done. It’s disgusting. He’s disgusting. Sigh.
      LOL to Tucker’s answer to the bald eagle/fish. It really is a rock/paper/scissors answer. 🙂May 28, 2017 – 7:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Love the conclusion! Giggles heal! #5 – just looking at the sky day or night is a thing that I love to do. Love it even more above the clouds in an airplane. It’s something about looking at something that seems endless that helps to clear my thoughts. And I do often wonder if someone is looking at the exact thing I’m looking at, where they are and what they are feeling too.May 30, 2017 – 7:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Giggles heal for the win! And yeah, looking at the sky or just outside is so huge for me to clear my thoughts or even just take them away from my me-brain, as is wondering where planes and people are going. Thanks!May 30, 2017 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Love Love Love Love this, dear.
    You continually choke me up, make me FEEL something. Deep. Inside.
    Your words soak thru me.
    Seriously. I would not lie.
    PS. we are ALL broken to an extent…
    the question is…How do we mend ourselves back together?
    Recently I heard a quote, which I loved.
    “I am broken and devastated…But I am not destroyed.

    xxxx from MN.June 4, 2017 – 12:14 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - We mend through connections, and love unseen, I think. We mend by sharing stories and remember we’re not destroyed. I love that quote, too. So much. I so hope we meet in real one day…June 4, 2017 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison G smith - Fabulous post!!!!! I really needed to read this this morning. I’ve been feeling very broken. When I get home I’m going to play with Cammy, I know he’ll make me smile.June 15, 2017 – 8:13 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m sorry you’re feeling broken. Tell me you’re smiling now, or, if not, call me. Please?June 15, 2017 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

Caillou’s whines bounced around the room’s lemony light the morning I tried to figure out whether my two-year-old was deaf. I muted the TV mid-sentence, and watched. Did he notice?   He was wearing my favorite outfit. Blue shorts and a white polo with rugby stripes along the chest. He wasn’t bald any longer like […]

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  • Emily - We went through this too — still do, because Big Dude doesn’t “fit” under a label. Speaking of labels, I’ve always had a hard time with them, because to me, they mean “stigma” even though they really don’t and shouldn’t. But, I also learned that if you want your child to receive certain services in school, then you need those labels, even though you dislike those labels and even though your child doesn’t really fit under any of those labels. We finally got to a point in Big dude’s schooling where he didn’t need any support and therefore he was “declassified.” So, what did I learn? Hold on to the labels until you don’t need them anymore. 🙂May 18, 2017 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know what you mean about the stigma, Emily. I feel that way as well although it’d sometimes be easier to have a label to explain what’s going on. And yeah, the school thing gets more complicated. Tucker’s only seven and so far, so good with the general for services, but still. Thanks!May 19, 2017 – 10:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Well done, my beautiful friend. Well done.
    You know, as far as we’ve come, I still wish I could keep my girl home with me all the time. Until I remember that it wouldn’t be good for either of us in the long run. And oh how I wish I could send a recording thing with her, just to know is she OK? Happy? Getting along with people or being bullied? Ugh.
    But gosh look how they’ve grown…and look how awesome they (and we) are. No matter what we do or don’t write about. xoMay 18, 2017 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so so much!! I sometimes wish I could keep Tucker home with me too but honestly, that would be too much. For both of us, you know? I’d totally send a recording thing with him still if I didn’t know his backpack is in a cubby on the other side of the room. I never got great recordings anyway… And yeah, they are awesome. We are, too. xoMay 19, 2017 – 10:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - First, I love this look back at Tucker’s journey, and yours. I love knowing that I have known you since before kindergarten, and that through your eyes and words, I’ve had the privilege of watching Tucker grow and thrive.

    Second, I get the not wanting to write about stuff. But then it being the stuff that I do want to write about, but never will. Some people write for catharsis, and that’s great for them. Not for me.May 18, 2017 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know what you mean, Dana, and feel the same way watching your kids grow and thrive and travel and now the first year of college! Wow. We’ve been doing this for a long time I suppose… I sometimes write for catharsis but there are MANY subjects that will never find their way on these here interwebs pages!May 19, 2017 – 10:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - One of the questions I am asked most is what exactly is Lindsey’s disability? I still don’t have an easy, quick answer, like: autism, Down syndrome, Aspergers. I generally have to go into a long explanation, i.e. short in her neurological system caused from an unidentified syndrome plus essential tremors. Wow! A mouthful, huh?

    But what does that mean, exactly? people ask.

    Although she was diagnosed as the “R” word and we know that word would not be used today, Lindsey would be called intellectually disabled or developmentally delayed.

    Yeah, but what does that mean? they say.

    So I try again and again. I don’t really know. May never know.

    I know that many of my sisters/mothers living in the special needs world do not want labels. I believe I’ve talked about this before, but I so wanted a label. I wanted one more than anything because I believed, with a label, teachers might better be able to teach her. Yet a label, I mean an easy label, never came to fruition for me. I hope it does for you. It sure seems like what they are doing for Tucker is working and I’m so thrilled for you.

    And as far as feeling like writing about something. I totally get that! Hugs to you.May 19, 2017 – 1:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I thought of you Linda, as I know you’ve struggled with what Lindsey’s disability is. It’d be too easy to say that Lindsey is Lindsey, that Tucker is Tucker… because exactly – what does that mean? What do they struggle with? With Tucker, it’s funny… somebody asked me the other day if we still thought it was autism, and a mom who knows Tucker pretty well basically said he’s “all better” (she didn’t use those words but I forget what she said). Her snippets into his life – I can see why she thinks so… but she also doesn’t see his struggle to brush his teeth, to understand that when somebody says that another kid has a nice shirt/is good at something, that it’s not about HIM, and how he struggles with so much in so many ways. But, he’s also a seven-year-old boy, with seven-year-old boy desires and interests… Anyway. Thank you and hugs right back!May 19, 2017 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Okayed peed myself over the calliope video. I hated that little shit too! “R” it released a lot of repressed angry I had towards that cartoon character. Now if someone could make s son outting Sponge Bob for the pirnographic.cartoon. I might some day be whole again.

    Kristin and “R”. It is just Tucker. No labels except; beautiful. adore able, perfect and really thoughtful. That is how I see him and growing quickly.

    Late so if missing please forgive. Awesome Tuckrr is all I see!May 19, 2017 – 4:28 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to stupid Caillou!!! He is such a whiner! UGH I can’t stand him! No clue what you mean about outing Sponge Bob or some cartoon?? And I know. Tucker is just Tucker and so so awesome.May 19, 2017 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - I feel like I have been watching Tucker grow up over these last few years of blogging and knowing you. I love stories about him and I kind of love that he was independent & confident enough to cut his hair (and that he wanted the man bun in the first place.). The older they get, the harder this blogging thing seems to be!May 19, 2017 – 8:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I feel the same about your daughters, Lisa! I kind of love he cut his hair too… but the rest is SO long and now it’s this little sprout right at his crown. We’ll see what happens… and yeah, the older they get, it’s not really fair any longer, right?May 19, 2017 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Makes me miss my son that much more!

    Sponge Bob is British humor and very pornographic!!! Watch and learn grasshopper who had to tell me what erotica was! LOL😭😂😂😂😂😂😂May 19, 2017 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ok I’m obviously very naive because I’ve seen Sponge Bob and never got the pornographic part of it! Yikes! Also LOL.May 20, 2017 – 1:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Just J - While I think it’s definitely true that we all have places inside of us that we will never write about, even in journals hidden away for no one else to see, I am thankful that you have chosen to write about Tucker here and continue to share his story and yours with us, because not only do we learn from your experience, but we learn from the depth of your love what it means to be a mother, to encourage, to hope, and to believe. These are powerful lessons, and I admire your honesty so much!May 20, 2017 – 1:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much Just J! I really appreciate you saying that — one of these days, I should probably go through the archives though and see whether there’s anything that might embarrass him when he gets older. I like being part of the community, and sharing, and helping moms who are newer on the path than I am with figuring out developmental delays, etc. but I also don’t want anything I write about to be something that would hurt his feelings, if that makes sense…May 20, 2017 – 1:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie G smith - I know what you mean (or think I do😭) when you say you want to write about, but don’t want to. Sorry about the haircut (I would have loved to had seen him with a man bun). I remember cutting my bangs to, it was awful. And shaving my unibrow😱. Hang in there momma xoxo.May 22, 2017 – 2:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Allie!
      Yeah, the things we don’t want to write about… sigh. And so far, we’re still going for the man bun. The hair he cut doesn’t stick up too badly so we’ll see… LOL to you cutting your bangs too (and you have a unibrow?? Never would have known so you must have found the perfect recipe for keeping it from meeting in the middle!). xoMay 22, 2017 – 6:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - I was absent for this one. I kept wanting to write something, but something stopped me. There are plenty of things I don’t want to write about (my chronic pain and how I live with it/politics/world suffering/my lack of employment as someone with a disability) and I flaked on it all because sometimes it’s just too hard. Now I kind of regret it, but I will know when time is right. I do know you must be careful, like any parent afraid of embarrassing a child, with all you write. You have such good intentions and write with such empathy and skill, but it’s good that you are aware. I have a memory of holding a pair of scissors. I am not sure how old I was in this memory. I’m not even sure if I went ahead with the trim or if my mom stopped me in time. Will have to ask her if she recalls any of this or if it was all imagined. My oh my how Tucker is growing and becoming his own man. I hope labels help him more and impede him less.May 26, 2017 – 4:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The next one (live now) is about feeling broken… I totally understand why you don’t write about what you don’t write about… it’s hard in this world to tell the truth about pain when so many yucky people talk about it falsely… if that makes sense. I so hope you’ll let me know whether your memory of holding scissors is true and that you cut your hair (maybe something so many kids do), or whether you were stopped before chopping your hairs to your scalp!! And yeah, Tucker is so growing and becoming his own man… I hope labels and the lack of him help him too. Thanks, Kerry.May 26, 2017 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

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