Finding Ninee » Sharing our special needs and autism story through heart and humor.

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can smell Mexico although I haven’t been in years. It saddens me to realize that these days, months go by in which I forget to think about the country that introduced me to humidity, friendly strangers willing to communicate without the commonality of language, tequila, and a belief […]

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  • Chris Carter - Cancun… late night at Senior Frogs…ended up with the most GORGEOUS guy there…on the beach… far beyond midnight… can’t remember how I got home.

    EPIC fail. I thought he was going to come back the next day to “take me to dinner”…

    Oh, such a poor innocent pathetic lover I was.

    It was quite fun.

    Chris Carter recently posted…Ten Tips For The Woman In A Leg CastMy ProfileJanuary 22, 2015 – 11:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG Senior Frogs!!! YES!!! I LOVE THAT PLACE. In fact, and don’t judge, but I still have a jean jacket (remember jean jackets) from there and one from Carols O’Brien’s also in Mexico!!! Awww to your night on the beach. I had one of those too… um, well, brothers were involved. I thought I’d dine with one the next evening as well. Enough said I think. ;)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Epic Failures Before Facebook and Smart PhonesMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Because of sentences like this, I really dig you:

    “Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can smell Mexico”

    xxxx I looooooooove that!

    I smell Hawaii. Still. It was like a kind of Freedom.
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Submissions For My Inner ChickMy ProfileJanuary 22, 2015 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - OH, I love this, Kristi. Agree with Inner Chick – the “I can smell Mexico” line is gorgeous. I also love the photo of the bed – the chips bags? Do they seriously say “chips”? That’s awesome.
    I just love these posts. I don’t know why I don’t do them because they are really terrific.
    Now, if I was participating in this week’s, I would have to share my Epic Diaper Fail story about Kidzilla and the Hub. It’s one of my best posts ever, according to those statistic things I don’t really understand. :D
    Great story!January 23, 2015 – 12:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I liked that line too and would have gone more that route had I been less of an epic failure and maybe given myself time to write this for once!! GAH. But thank you and yeah, the bags just said Chips! HAHAH. You MUST link your epic diaper failure. You MUST. And that statistic things? Bah Humbug.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Epic Failures Before Facebook and Smart PhonesMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - All I have to say is I thank god everyday that in my teens and early twenties that Facebook didn’t exist as I am telling you I would have been ratted out more times then not to all the crazy s*it I did back then. And believe me when I say been there and done that!!January 23, 2015 – 3:12 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Okay, so your Mexico experiences are way more exotic than my Mexico experiences! My only time in Mexico was about three years ago when we ditched the kids (with the in-laws), and spent a weekend at an all-inclusive resort in Baja! It was a wonderful time for us, and I still remember eating cerviche on the beach. Wonderful! That said, I totally get the relief that our younger, Epic Fail, selves were not recorded on social media!January 23, 2015 – 3:30 amReplyCancel

  • Jen Kehl - I can still smell the hotel I stayed at in Cancun. That mixture of salt air and air conditioning…..You always crack me up though. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. We would have had an EPIC time if we had been friends!January 23, 2015 – 4:14 amReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - haha…I loved reading about this…must be the 20th century, huh?
    Life was simpler then, thus thank heavens even such horrendous crime must not be existing ;) But, yes thank god for no social media.January 23, 2015 – 4:24 amReplyCancel

  • karen - love the post and totally agree, if social media had been around when I was a teen, I would have been royally screwed. We sure did luck out…
    karen recently posted…Epic Fail OR Epic WinMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 5:50 amReplyCancel

  • Allison - I am always so thankful that social media didn’t exist when I was in high school and college. Because it was all about FREEDOM, which is what Mexico is: freedom to discover and be who you are and discover who you are and just live.
    And have rattails.
    Allison recently posted…On Epic FailsMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - I concur – I’m so glad that FB didn’t exist in my youth! The poor kids of today. I’ve never been to Mexico, though. The urban legends (and Montezuma’s Revenge) always scared me.
    Allie recently posted…If you use your dad as a reference, it’s best to tell him!My ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 6:54 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I remember this post or maybe just the pictures from way back when. Still laughing at your rat-tail. I feel sorry for the teens these days with their “fails” ending up on social media. I was horrified when someone tagged me just with my senior picture hair. (so then I had to write a whole post about it) but yeah I can’t even remember much about out 11th grade trip to Daytona. I still can’t believe my dad let me go and I super glad that what happened in Daytona stayed in Daytona.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…I’m going in…My ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 7:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The photos are all recycled although most of the post is new. It was 8pm on FTSF day and I had NOTHING so well yeah. That. And wait, laughing at my rat-tail? Dude!! I kinda miss it!! (ok only sometimes but still it was cool haha).
      I *think* I remember your hair post (ok wait I totally do) and your dad let you go to Daytona? So glad our “stuff” stayed where it belonged. Also I wish I knew you in Daytona. We’d have had some fun!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Epic Failures Before Facebook and Smart PhonesMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I often think how incredibly lucky I am that the internet wasn’t invented until after I was out of school or my 20’s!
    Kerri recently posted…I’m a writer not a speakerMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 8:36 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - These are such great memories – so vivid and fun! You had *adventures*!
    Elizabeth recently posted…HIS GOALS FOR 2015My ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - While my Mexico stories are as fabulous as yours, there is one week in that fine country that I am so glad took place before social media! I have a few photos (maybe even one with those two guys in it), but that’s the only proof left. Whew.
    Dana recently posted…Do you believe in magic?My ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:13 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - Yes, glad there was no social media back in the day!!
    Loved reliving some of your Mexico experiences. That last picture cracked me up!!!
    Kim recently posted…The 45 Mile RunMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:22 amReplyCancel

  • Kirsten Jill Robbins - Do you remember the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Spicoli said “I wanna party with you guys?” (Please say yes). This reminds me of that. I don’t know why, but it does. It also makes me wanna hang out with you. In Mexico or wherever.January 23, 2015 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

  • April G - Never considered how many Epic Fails I would have before FB. Granted, I’m almost positive that there are no pictures to commemorate the occasions. Well, if I share this post, then that pic will end up everywhere!
    April G recently posted…Will #EpicFail Go Away? #FTSFMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - What would I do without your photos/pictures to cheer me up? I have fond memories of Mexico too – I went once or twice with my family and then for spring break during college and that’s where I met my husband. We met in a bar that sold t-shirts that said, “another shitty day in paradise.” And I couldn’t agree more about social media – sooo thankful it didn’t exist back in the day!
    Emily recently posted…When Is It The “Right” Age For My Kid To Walk Home Alone?My ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 2:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I want that shirt!!! Where in Mexico were you and how did I never know that you met your husband there??? OMG I miss Mexico and the freedom that I felt there… and also yeah, TG there was no social media. I’d never have been able to run for president.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Epic Failures Before Facebook and Smart PhonesMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

      • Emily - I want that shirt too — one of my regrets in life is I never bought the “shitty day in paradise” shirt.:) We were in Cancun for spring break and at our school, we had an early spring break so there were no other colleges down there, other than kids from our school (Michigan) so I met my husband through other Michigan students that we knew down there. I almost had the James Taylor song, “Mexico” as our first dance at our wedding!
        Emily recently posted…When Is It The “Right” Age For My Kid To Walk Home Alone?My ProfileJanuary 24, 2015 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - I keep telling my daughter this when she posts less than flattering things on social media. Somethings are better just lived rather than recorded. Loved thinking about fun, free and sun in Mexico.
    jamie@southmainmuse recently posted…Pink Flamingos and Epic Fails.My ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 2:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - LOVE your words, your photos, your stories, sentences like “I feel the scents of humidity, choices, and freedom,” and your honesty. And you! xo
    Nicki recently posted…When Stay At Home Mom Guilt Strikes HardMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 2:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Scott Hansen - That had to be some strong stuff to make you fall asleep on a horse! Hahahahaha.January 23, 2015 – 5:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Oh I am with you. Thank god there were no cell phones in my time. Especially in Mexico. Cringing now just remembering …January 23, 2015 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - OMG the laxatives—-I had to hop over to your other post to see what that was about—TOO FUNNY!!! Okay so fess up—-did you ever get to go pee while you were in that jungle bar??
    marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Fly On The Wall In The New YearMy ProfileJanuary 23, 2015 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra Sikora - I so agree that I’m glad there wasn’t a constant camera and link to strangers when I was young(er).Scariness. My epic fails were hard enough to bear without an audience of strangers. Aack! Good of you to share the pics now though :)January 24, 2015 – 2:10 amReplyCancel

  • Leigh-Mary Barone Hoffmann - This is fantastic. It was the Bahamas for me. And Marlbaro Lights – guess I was healthy!!!! LolJanuary 24, 2015 – 3:07 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa Moskowitz Sadikman - I love how you “let it all hang out” Kristi :) I thought you were going to say that you fell asleep and peed on the horse! The thing I get the most is that longing for freedom and beauty and straight fun that is often hard to find in this grown-up life — at least not without strings attached. *sigh* We’ll get to Mexico (again) someday, right?January 24, 2015 – 4:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I saw a meme just this morning from someone much older than us who was saying she was glad she did all her crazy things before social media. Had to laugh.
    I’ve never really done such crazy things. Shame on me. And I’ve never been to Mexico.
    But there are many things I used to do without thinking. I miss that.January 25, 2015 – 11:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that you put “than us” being as um I’m so so much older than you ;) which means thank you!! Also you have to go to Mexico. It’s one of the best places on the planet. F’real. So laid back and easy. You can still get crazy!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Epic Failures Before Facebook and Smart PhonesMy ProfileJanuary 25, 2015 – 8:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Jolene @ Different Dream for My Child - Facebook and other social media does make our epic fails too easy for the world to see. Even so, my latest blog post lays out my most recent epic fail as a caregiver and an author. Wish I’d written the post before the deadline for the link up. But here it is:
    Jolene @ Different Dream for My Child recently posted…EA/TEF Awareness Month: Call Me a RomanticMy ProfileJanuary 26, 2015 – 11:29 amReplyCancel

Humans have been and continue to be horrible to humans. Our history is of genocide, killing in the name of whatever is  seen as “right.” The murdering of children has been acceptable for thousands and thousands of years. I used to watch the news. Today, I can barely watch the news. I can’t keep up. I don’t […]

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Years ago, when I was eight or nine years old, I read the words that parents will always love their children more than children love their parents. The realization that I meant more to my mom and dad than they meant to me immediately made me feel both treasured and guilty. I made a conscious […]

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  • Dana - I think you are right. It’s not If, it is That. Parenting is hard, and it can make you feel very alone. But we are not, even if our challenges are different. Our love for our kids is the equalizer.
    Dana recently posted…Six thousand goodnightsMy ProfileJanuary 15, 2015 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - You nailed it again, Kristi. I worry. I worry all the time. I worry about when my son will notice that people look at him a little different. I worry about him succumbing to his diagnosis because it’s too present or too hard. I will worry about him for the rest of my life, but I will also love him for the rest of my life. With that love comes great embarrassment, not always intentional, but it happens.
    Echo recently posted…Ask Away Friday at the Zoo!My ProfileJanuary 15, 2015 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Oh Kristi, I said all the time when I was younger that I wouldn’t sound like my mom or turn into her, but still and all, I open my mouth or do something now with my girls and there she is – my mom and as Billy Joel says, “And so it goes!” But I guess it is just a mom thing and yes I do get it in spades here, my friend.January 16, 2015 – 3:11 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks - You know if you don’t lick breakfast off your kid’s face, the school will think you are neglecting him. Total time out for mom. Meanwhile, don’t worry so much. I can tell you give parenting your 100% all, and it doesn’t matter what comes at you, and what you mess up for a minute, because you care. And that caring is what makes you fix your mess ups, it’s what helps your child grow and overcome his obstacles eventually, and it’s the very reason you don’t need to worry about being imperfect. The smartest person knows that he doesn’t know, and he still needs to learn. The wisest person knows that we parents are only human, and mistakes are part of it, and that’s ok. A person with great understanding realizes flaws are what makes us unique and beautiful in our own way. You are on the right path and doing the right thing. Sleep at night, because you earned it.
    Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks recently posted…When the Kids Go To SleepMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 3:37 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Such a cute picture Kristi. Do you have a huge cache of photos from when you were little? Wonderful post. I can remember breasteeding at 3:00 AM and thinking, no hoping, that somewhere nearby another mother was doing the same.January 16, 2015 – 4:19 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Yep, it’s part of the human condition to feel uncertainty alternating with being the President of All The Things. We all share that, regardless if we are popular or not (BTW, you are a popular Mom!). I don’t think that this is limited to being a special needs parent or a special needs child. What is important is developing a sense of self-awareness and forgiveness that tides us through whatever challenges (including egg on the face) are our lot that day. Hugs!!!January 16, 2015 – 4:32 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - There are things I do which are like my mum, definitely. And (less lovely) things I do which are like my dad. I guess in ways it’s absolutely inevitable – they are our first role-models and they leave a lasting impression.

    BUT. You’re doing good parenting, so don’t worry too much.January 16, 2015 – 7:27 amReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Great post, and one that would truly benefit new moms in particular. It’s interesting, because when I became a first time mom, I had the same thoughts—-that I’d be the cool mom, the popular mom, the Martha Stewart of the group. And for awhile, I fooled myself into thinking I was with the first three kids. Then came #4, the wild child, and even though he is 19 now, I still feel as if I have failed this boy. I keep looking back, wondering what I did wrong, what I might have missed. I’ve learned over time that no matter how many kids you have, you can’t parent them all the same way. Some take a different kind of parenting. I wish I had known that when my son was young. All I can do now is strive to keep the bridge of communication open between us, to make sure he knows every day how much I love him no matter what he does, and to be here for him whenever he needs me.
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Goin’ SouthMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 9:09 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - What if….see that is where I trip up. I think WHAT IF (insert most outrageous and untrue thing that might happen here). I need to stop the what if and begin living this is the way it is. Yet I so get where you went with this prompt.

    Awesome job my friend
    Kerri recently posted…Sleep…please sleepMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 11:14 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - ——Kristi,
    every single time I read your words, my heart fills up with joy, hope, and abundant love.

    xx kisses and appreciation from MN.
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Saint Elmo’s Fire, Wild, & MarriageMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - I had two healthy babies and I worried constantly but 2 1/2 months ago I had my first granddaughter is she has special needs. She wears a heart monitor and breaths through oxygen every second. I’ve never seen her little face without it. I worried about my babies but it wasn’t the life and death stuff that we have to worry about with my granddaughter. I could walk out of the room while my children slept but somehow because she is so little and helpless I can’t leave her alone for a second when she is in my care. There is to much at stake and I think after I have done this for awhile that weight that comes from every single decision being life or death will definitely be a lot bigger weight than whether or not I embarrassed my son by licking my finger. It’s like a worry on top of a worry sort of way.
    Rena McDaniel recently posted…CONQUERING YOSEMITEMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 12:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That makes sense, Rena. When it’s a true life of death worry, that’s something much much bigger than the usual worries. I get so many people who say things to me like that they don’t know how I handle things that I feel like they feel that they’re not allowed to worry just because their kids don’t have special needs and I want them to know that I understand that their worries, in their own homes, are as big to them as mine are to me, if that makes sense. Hugs and prayers for your sweet granddaughter!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs Parenting: The Worry. Maybe, It’s More Like Regular Parent Worry Than Not.My ProfileJanuary 17, 2015 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Beautiful and heart felt,as always. but I hate that you feel that way at the bus stop. We need to get you hooked up with some of those moms, because I think you’re right. We’re all scared. And I do know what you mean about the mindless chatter. It can get on the nerves when you have bigger things to worry about – but sometimes that’s a defense mechanism, because they don’t want to let anyone know they’re not perfect. Give them a couple glasses of wine and I am sure you will go home and be grateful worries.

    Miss you!January 16, 2015 – 1:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Asd-Dr - I think most kids have things their parents did that they swear they will never do as parents, until we do them. However as an adult I realized that turning into my Mom may not be such a bad thing.January 16, 2015 – 1:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I agree with the person above that you should reach out to the moms at the bus stop. Yes, some of them may be rude – then you will know. The others could be people you like, invite over, your kids get along because they accept each other, and the next thing you know your son has a cadre of friends that can help carry him through the difficult social issues of childhood.

    Pick the parents of the kids you genuinely like. :-)
    Elizabeth recently posted…INFORMED DECISIONSMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 2:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Scott Hansen - We all have our own unique worries as parents because we all have our own unique children. I have no doubt you’re doing the very best for Tucker. You love for him shines through your words clearly and brightly.January 16, 2015 – 3:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Little Miss Wordy - I’ll always remember an Ally McBeal episode where she’s in the restroom at work crying over something and Georgia walks in, rolls her eyes, and asks her, “Why are your problems so much bigger than anyone else’s?” Ally responds, “Because they’re mine.” That line has stuck with me for years. It’s so true. As parents, our challenges are as big as the next parent’s simply because they are ours and we are the ones living it. This is a great post and if I haven’t said it lately, Tucker is darn lucky to have you for his mommy. Hugs!January 16, 2015 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb - I liked the line about knowing it all before you did it. So true. And for all the people saying you should try to talk to the moms at the bus stop, I totally get why you wouldn’t want to. I wouldn’t want to, either, and there are no special needs in my family. xo
    Deb recently posted…Inappropriate Reasons I Am Psyched to Be PregnantMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Maybe you could say it for me too. Until I believe it.
    Lovin those pigtails.
    Sarah recently posted…TToT60: I Mind ChristineMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 4:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - I have gone out of my way to try and be as different from my mom as I can – the worst thing anyone could say to me is, “You are just like your mom.”
    I hope with every part of my being that my boys don’t one day feel the same (except they will be dads:)!!
    I can’t think of a day since I had my first son (over 16 years ago) that I haven’t worried – some days and some situations are worse and harder but it is always there.
    Kim recently posted…Comparing Activity TrackersMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 6:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Ack, exactly what Dana said! Our love for our children is our great equalizer.
    We are all scared, and we all struggle. It’s not just about what our kids are, but what we are. And I have anxiety so I just assume parenting is hell on earth for me, but my kids.. they don’t struggle. And if they did, would I be different? I don’t even know.
    Tamara recently posted…Ask Me Anything – The Juicy Answers.My ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 6:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - If I didn’t love you so much, I would be totally mad that you just busted out all this wisdom at the 11th hour. You are so right, and the points you made are really humbling. Thanks for the reminders.January 16, 2015 – 7:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Oh Kristi… how I just adore your every word, always. They speak to ME and to EVERYONE who reads them.

    What if… oh how I know that looking up at the ceiling wonderings and awful dread of ‘what am I doing??!!!”

    I can’t recall all that my mom did. I think that is a good thing actually. I believe that truly, I am beginning a new generation of parenting from a new perspective. Coming from a very broken home, I thank GOD for guiding me in this new and endless arena of what ifs and I can only hope and pray that THAT is exactly on purpose. But we all worry. We ALL worry.

    Special needs moms, broken moms, moms with sick kids and moms who ARE sick… just trying to navigate this motherhood journey as best we can.

    *I bet those moms would hug you if you told them your story.*

    Sometimes what seems so detached and isolating and waaaay out of our realm of connecting is just that. It seems. I’ve been there, oh so many times. Afraid to approach, to engage… and most often it turns out- JUST how you so beautifully describe.

    We are ALL in this together.
    Chris Carter recently posted…1000 Voices Speak…For CompassionMy ProfileJanuary 16, 2015 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris,
      Your comments never ever fail to uplift, comfort, and inspire me. Thank you for having such love and for putting it out there. You’re amazingly wonderful and you know – I’m pretty sure we’re doing just fine in the parenting stuff. It’d be weird if we don’t worry right? Also, I know what you mean about rising above the broken home…
      We truly are all in this together. Truly and completely.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs Parenting: The Worry. Maybe, It’s More Like Regular Parent Worry Than Not.My ProfileJanuary 17, 2015 – 5:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Ripped Jeans & Bifocals - I don’t think the worry part is different…but yet not different. Does that even make sense? I think there are just so many different degrees of worry just like there are so many different degrees of special needs. And, I just gotta say, you rocked those 70’s ponytail! XXXXXXXOOOOO.January 17, 2015 – 4:29 amReplyCancel

  • Sammiches & Psych Meds - I think I can completely feel you here. My son has special needs, and the part where you mention not understand what your son says? Yep. And the part where you mention worrying at night when you’re trying to sleep? Yep. Worry is part of the territory. I may worry more about my son who had a stroke in utero and has cerebral palsy, but I also worry about my typical sons as well. Worry comes with the territory. And you’re right that we’re not alone. Parenting seems like the one thing that can break your heart and make it soar simultaneously.January 17, 2015 – 4:47 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - We’re all in it together. It’s a long story that will be a post next week. But I just came clean to all the Cub Scout leaders about Isaiah’s special needs and they were like, he’s fine, he’s no different than anyone else.
    I was so worried about how he was behaving, and they said he seemed like a typical 9yo to them.
    You’re an awesome mom, and you’ll never stop wondering anyway. But what matters is how fiercely we love our kids. Enough to worry.
    Jen recently posted…Next Year I’m Going to Be on the Christmas CardMy ProfileJanuary 17, 2015 – 11:25 amReplyCancel

  • Lily Lau - I hate all the “what if’s” that come with parenting… people think they are in the right when judging parents, when we should all respect more!
    Lily Lau recently posted…World’s Most Expensive HomesMy ProfileJanuary 17, 2015 – 1:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - My daughter recently told me that when she’s a parent she will this or she won’t that. I just gave her a smile and said, ‘That’s nice, honey.’ I remember saying the things I would or wouldn’t do when I was younger, before I became a parent and still knew everything.

    I go to bed some nights feeling like the worst parent in the world. Hell, some mornings I feel that way before 8 a.m. So to read these words written here, as much as it pains me, I say thank you. Because in those moments that I feel like I’m failing (or at least flailing) I need to know I’m not alone. That just makes it worse.

    I just licked my finger and smooshed something off a face today. That’s just damn good parenting right there!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted…KryptoniteMy ProfileJanuary 17, 2015 – 4:52 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - What is when we went to bed we counted all the things we did right for our child instead of year ourselves down making us weaker?

    I get it. I do it and my son doesn’t get to ride the bus. I have had bad care takers for my son and will not trust again readily. I think inherently all Mother’s worry and have way to much they have not accomplished in their lives. I am looking at my house and thinking my son needs a hazmat suit.

    But when we go things will be in out in box for certain. connecting is hard with other Mother’s because their lives are so different than yours. When I see Mothers’ of typical children it seems they neglect theirs and live life for themselves. In many ways I wish I could but then I would never giver up on my commitment to my son who has special needs. I am certainly not the coolest Mom but the Mom my son needs every day of his life and it is exhausting!!

    Great article! Hit a home run!!January 17, 2015 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You are an awesome mom. I think staring at our ceilings thinking about how we were right and awesome is a WAY better idea than worrying about the stuff we might have done less than perfect. I’m so sorry that you’ve had bad caretakers – that sucks. So far (knock on wood) I’ve been lucky that way. Of course, Tucker’s only five… sigh. Thanks JT!!!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs Parenting: The Worry. Maybe, It’s More Like Regular Parent Worry Than Not.My ProfileJanuary 18, 2015 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - Thank God you can read in “exhausted Mom”!!!! Great translation as you knew exactly what I was saying! Count what you got right as that list is longer especially if counting intention.

        The truth is we only know if we were right over time. No one knows what is really, right or even wrong. The parent I might think us neglectful may have a much more self sufficient child.

        Again writing in, “Exhausted Mom”, I think we need to be kinder to ourselves, stop judging ourselves so critically and really stop judging each other. The right Mom is with the right kid….I have to have faith that is true 95% of the time.

        You are the awesome Mom! Thanks for translating!

        JTJanuary 19, 2015 – 2:02 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - True that we can’t know what is right or wrong until after but I think it’s mostly right enough… You are an awesome mom and happy to translate “exhausted mom” speak anytime!!!
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Want My Son’s World To Be Beautiful. Announcing a New Project #‎1000Speak‬ My ProfileJanuary 19, 2015 – 10:32 pmReplyCancel

          • JT Walters - My confidence interval is 95% of the time the right Mom is with the right child making the mostly right decision. Faith Kristi…I have to have faith in that especially since we live in the world of rate disorders were very little is known. Doctors do not give advice in things they do not know. A lot of the time the Mom takes a leap of faith.

            Parenting is a leap of faith. Had I known what I was getting myself into I’d never had sex. My son has me completely wrapped and I find his humor hysterical! Never have I loved anyone so much, never have I wanted to do something so perfect…parenting, and never have I ever had so much to lose.January 19, 2015 – 10:46 pm

  • Katia - As usual I’m overwhelmed with emotion and am trying to sort out my thoughts into something coherent, because this really resonated with me for so many reasons. I’m a worrier. I constantly want to be there and act as a shield for my kids.Your worries do seem bigger to me as they involve things beyond your control and maybe beyond the control of Tucker, as well, but the way we experience our worries is probably very similar. I am that mom, too, who feels like she’s screwing it up while everyone else has got it together. I fear new social encounters.I think that while the details of our stories are different and we may be experiencing parental challenges in very similar ways. I wish there was a support group/online community for parents of “typical” (and you know how I feel about that word) and “non-typical” kids, where everyone would share their challenges. I’m sure we’d all be able to relate to each other much better than we may assume.

    You’ve got an amazing soul depth.

    Katia recently posted…15 Rules by Which Toddlers OperateMy ProfileJanuary 18, 2015 – 2:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love you friend and know you’re a worrier and that you so get this and I do think that the worrying part IS very similar. I mean, ok maybe some of it’s different but when I started writing this, I was thinking that I want my son to be loved, accepted, happy, content, and then I realized that NONE of those worries were due to Tucker’s special needs… ya know? Your soul. You. You’re light and sunshine. For real.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…Special Needs Parenting: The Worry. Maybe, It’s More Like Regular Parent Worry Than Not.My ProfileJanuary 18, 2015 – 7:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - You ended on a note that dredged up the memory of my dad spit shining my face before going into kindergarten. He smoked at the time so I clearly remember THAT smell on me. You would think it would make me remember to clean my face good before he had to do that. But now that I’ve written that I’m thinking of my dad not wanting his little girl to go in school with crud in the corners of her mouth. Awww. But ewww.

    We all have our legitimate worries as mom or as parents to our children. Our children ‘collectively’. You are definitely not alone. (((hugs)))January 18, 2015 – 2:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - As I read this, two refrains looped through my head:
    “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.”
    “If we hung our troubles out on the line, you would choose yours, and I would choose mine.”
    I think it’s true that parents of special needs children shoulder a different kind of worry than parents of typical kids. There are big worries about the future, about self-sufficiency, about acceptance, that we parents of non-special-needs kids, just don’t face.
    However, I think we do all share the BIG FEAR. The fear that we are not doing enough, that we are not good enough, the fear that we are failing our children. The fear that, whatever challenges our kids will face, we did not do all that should have been done to help them. Of course, by “shoulding” we are implying that there is someone out there who IS better, who WOULD HAVE done more. We are all comparing ourselves against an invisible and impossible standard. Moms at the bus stop and all. Rock on mama.
    Jen recently posted…Pull With LoveMy ProfileJanuary 18, 2015 – 10:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - God, you always make me think so HARD when I come here, Kristi!
    But you know what? I feel you. Completely. (Do people even say that? I’m a dork.) I really do think special needs or not, we all feel like that at some point. I don’t do idle chatter and camaraderie that well with other moms. I feel like the outsider (is my Clark showing) and I wonder why in the world they even talk to me at all. Some days I feel like my kid is so very like theirs…and other days I feel like she is so very not. Then I get all “but am I even allowed to think she’s special or exceptional? Do I want to say that? Of course I do. Or do I?”
    The truth is, I am my own worst enemy in all of this and I suspect so are we all. We worry about our kids. We worry that we are like our parents. We worry that we are not like our parents. We worry that we suck as parents. We worry that our kids think we suck as parents.
    We just worry.
    And that’s OK.
    Where it becomes bad, I think, or dangerous even, is when we let that consume us, when we let it shut us off from people who might help us, might show a little compassion, might just understand us a bit more than we think.
    In the end I think we’re all very much the same, special or regular or exceptional or whatever. And we’re all pretty normal in that.January 19, 2015 – 12:10 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa Moskowitz Sadikman - I’m so glad we’re freaks together! Everyone has their parenting and other challenges – E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. It’s so so hard to remember that though when we’re caught up in our own anxious worlds. All I know is, it’s when we have compassion for each other that we truly feel connected. Great post Kristi. xoJanuary 19, 2015 – 12:54 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lisa! What an awesome excellent comment, Sweets! YES! What you said, exactly and completely. Also that you feel me isn’t dorky at all. I think it’s cool because you’re so right that it’s totally normal to worry and that it only becomes a problem when we let it shut ourselves off from others. Brilliant and insightful you. Thank you.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Want My Son’s World To Be Beautiful. Announcing a New Project #‎1000Speak‬ My ProfileJanuary 19, 2015 – 6:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - I wonder about this too. I know Lindsey has issues but I see friends who are struggling with a daughter with a drug addiction and friends who have typical kids with other issues. And they worry. So we all worry, but just in our own way. We are probably more the same than different. But for some reason, it bothers me when someone says that raising a special needs child isn’t any different than a typical kid. I’ve raised one typical and one special needs and believe me, typical was a million times easier.

    Your description of wiping egg off a face with a little spit made me laugh. I did that more than I wanted. It’s amazing what you can see in outside light that you couldn’t see while in the house. That might be why I now carry a set of tweezers in my car for my 56 year old chin!
    Linda Atwell – Out One Ear recently posted…Merry Christmas Advice From LindseyMy ProfileJanuary 19, 2015 – 6:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda,
      I believe that we are all the same more than different BUT am horrified to think that somebody actually told you that parenting is the same whether our kids have special needs or not and that’s not what I was trying to imply here. Did somebody say that to you??? OMG.
      So – parenting with special needs is way way harder the end. I mean parents of typical kids may need to avoid some situations but really? I mean do they have to bring an ipad to a funeral? No. Do they have to worry about their kid getting lost and not being able to tell an adult/policeman what his mom’s name is? His own name?? NO!!! Ugh. I was just trying to say that I think that the worry is more alike than not.
      Also, the tweezers. On Saturday, I bought a new pair for my car. I’ve got really light eyebrows and don’t really tweeze them but noticed IN THE CAR (and not in the bathroom mirror) that there were these weird rogue hairs like 1″ away from the end of my eyebrow??? WTF.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…I Want My Son’s World To Be Beautiful. Announcing a New Project #‎1000Speak‬ My ProfileJanuary 19, 2015 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

      • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - I totally understood your post and didn’t think you were implying that at all. But yes I did have somebody say (when I told them something Lindsey did) that her child did exactly the same thing. And maybe her kid did, but her kid did not respond/act anywhere near the way Lindsey acted. It was a very long time ago. But it is still one of my pet peeves about being a parent of a kid with special needs. On the other hand, I’m not trying to whine about my lot in life. It is what it is. Anyway, your post made perfect sense and I just went off on my own little tangent. :-)

        I think I’ll go check the mirror for rogue hairs. :-)
        Linda Atwell – Out One Ear recently posted…Merry Christmas Advice From LindseyMy ProfileJanuary 20, 2015 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

In fifth grade, along with the rest of my class, I made an autobiography. I still have it. It’s frayed and yellowed and falling apart, but I have it. There were pages for family history, special interests, and travel. One of the pages was reserved for goals. In mine, I said that when I grow […]

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  • don - I don’t want to join because it sounds like a lot of work, but if the pay is good enough, I’ll listen. Also, before I panned down I was all, “holy crap, Kristi’s dad looks EXACTLY like Lyle Alzado!!!” Lol. I guess I was sort of right.

    I wish you well in your pursuit of Our Land and making this shitty world a better place to be. I could get behind that, and not in a doggy style sort of perverted way either. Gosh, have I gone too far now? Lol Okay, by for now, dear.
    don recently posted…Winning a routine call for crazy…My ProfileJanuary 8, 2015 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Awesome that you knew who Lyle was. I was all bummed out when I googled him and saw he died so young and thought it was because of steroids and stuff when it was like brain cancer (which was maybe from steroids who knows). Sad though. You already make the world a better place to be ya know? I mean for real. Doing Don stuff and doing the cop thing – you make the world better. And hahah to getting behind that either way. Here’s to making the world better in all the ways.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 8, 2015 – 11:43 pmReplyCancel

      • jaklumen - Well, the Wikipedia article says he was one of the first athletes to admit using steroids, and I do remember that he decided to be an advocate AGAINST steroid use. I remember he appeared in an ABC Back to School special as such, in a story that featured a slightly older Peter Billingsley as a character abusing steroids in high school. (Billingsley is a producer for actors like Vince Vaughn today; a long shot away from his A Christmas Story and Messy Marvin for Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup days.)

        Lyle reminded me of some professional wrestlers of his day; aside from his known temper on the field, his anger and aggression seemed like an act to me. I mean, the photo you’ve shared– his eyes seem to say to me, “I am honestly a man that cares.” What an honor that you got to meet him.
        jaklumen recently posted…The son becomes the father…My ProfileJanuary 11, 2015 – 1:07 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Jaklumen, it’s my understanding that he believed that his brain cancer was caused by his steroid use and yeah, you’re right that he became a huge advocate agains their use, which is great. I didn’t see those movies but agree that it was a true honor to meet him. He was nice to my brother and me for the few minutes we got to speak to him :)
          Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 11, 2015 – 8:14 pmReplyCancel

  • April Grant - I wouldn’t want to run for President either. The job looks horrible! I would love if we had more understanding towards each other!
    April Grant recently posted…Grant Us Another Term {#FTSF}My ProfileJanuary 8, 2015 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I will totally join you and seriously if I could vote for president I would seriously vote for you my friend! And I loved the flashback photos – awesome :)January 9, 2015 – 3:03 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - “Want to join me?”

    I’m in like Flynn! I’m working on changing the world for the better each day; it makes me smile to see you along side!!!

    Hugs!!!!!!!!January 9, 2015 – 3:38 amReplyCancel

  • Ripped Jeans & Bifocals - You, my friend, are fucking brilliant. I hope there is no rule in Our Land against the F-Bomb (pretty sure there isn’t) and I am all for what doesn’t make me feel icky about myself…because that happens a lot around here. You make me smile and shit.January 9, 2015 – 3:42 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - “Each of us has the power and the bravery to accept ourselves.” You know that’s something I’m really trying to work on. You are right – we are ALL imperfect, yet perfect at the same time. Even me. And you. And Tucker. And everyone. I think you would be a great President of all the things and I would absolutely join you!
    Lisa @ Golden Spoons recently posted…Jumping on the Bandwagon – My Word of the YearMy ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 5:57 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - I haven’t got anything actually SENSIBLE to say. But I was here, and I read this and liked it.January 9, 2015 – 7:09 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Amen sister:). I have never wanted to be president, and therefore could not think of anything to write about – other than I would make it a law that bookstore had to always exist. And a minimum reading requirement for all:)…and then I’d repost my Favorite Books of 2014, from the day before. How lame is that?!?!?
    Allie recently posted…My Favorite Books of 2014My ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - This rocks Krisit! Looks like you are going to have a fantastic 2015. I’m glad I’m coming along for the ride.
    Linda Atwell – Out One Ear recently posted…Merry Christmas Advice From LindseyMy ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 11:24 amReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - Gee, Kristi. I thought you were a pretty good artist back then. A mother is always the President of All Things. I agree, President of the USA, or any country, is a job I wouldn’t want for real. Great post.January 9, 2015 – 12:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - You are brilliant, Madam President! Very well said and well taken. Signed, the President of My Universe
    Elizabeth recently posted…TEN RULES FOR BEING AN AUTISM MOMMy ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 12:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - I love you and all of your things.
    Boobs too.
    Cause I’m a pervert.
    Kimberly recently posted…This Is Your Year Buttercup BabyMy ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Those childhood pics are awesome…you were such a cute little blonde! :) And, I wanted to be a vet too…but never President. I’m with you – way too much work and stress and if I couldn’t wear yoga pants on most days, it just wouldn’t work for me. But, yeah president of all the things sounds right to me – I’m in!
    Emily recently posted…Please Don’t Force My Kids To ReadMy ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 1:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - I think you are a great person for President of any and all things!!! I’m with you – no desire to be President of the US but I like being President (or maybe Queen:) at home!!! I think that if everyone respected others for their uniqueness life would be so much better!!!
    Kim recently posted…A Great Start to 2015My ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 2:31 pmReplyCancel

  • A. J. Goode - This is beautiful! Thank you so much for reminding us that we can all be in charge of ourselves and how we see the world. Great post!January 9, 2015 – 4:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Your brother is pretty cute.
    And I think your tracing is just fine!
    I often talk about how it would be if I ruled the world, as the President of the Universe. Gosh, it would be a lot of fun. For you all.
    I’d probably be stressed at making everyone happy, which is pretty much how my real life is anyway, without any of the perks.
    Tamara recently posted…Leaving On a JetBlue Plane..My ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 6:55 pmReplyCancel

  • JT aWalters - Fucking hysterical and touching! Rules are made for men and women are the womb of civilization!

    I am with you!! But you know this!

    I do not know how to do your finish the sentence but here is my try. You should vote for me for president because I can teach you love is the most power catalyst in the universe. But you have to start with loving yourself first. Bigotry and discrimination is a projection of what people hate about themselves.January 9, 2015 – 8:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - JT YES bigotry and discrimination is crap and not about the people they’re hating on. Maybe they all need to remember they are President of All Their Things!
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 9, 2015 – 8:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - This is a great link up. I’m recently returned to the blogging world, making my way back to the bloggers who gave me so much hope and picked me up when I didn’t feel like I wanted to. I love this post. I would like to eat a kazillion nachos without gaining weight, but you’re right, that’s not really helping anyone. But kindness; taking five minutes to make a difference is so true. I work in an occupation where I see how little time it takes to make someone breathe a sigh of relief, and when I feel low and want to feel sorry for myself, I remember those sighs of relief. Wonderful post.
    Sandra recently posted…George the GhostMy ProfileJanuary 10, 2015 – 1:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Sandra,
      As far as the link-up, it’s open until Sunday at noon if you’d like to join and I host it each week. It used to be a lot bigger but we took a break and it’s just building back up. It’s great though – very interactive and supportive. All the linkers are great about hopping around to everybody’s post. Here’s to giving five minutes to helping somebody breathe a sigh of relief… and I look forward to getting to know you better!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 10, 2015 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - ***Perfectly imperfect***

    Yep, sounds like me.

    Kick Ass, Gorgeous piece, Kristi.

    Your “WORDS” are NEVER empty. xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…All Roads Out Of Hell Lead HomeMy ProfileJanuary 10, 2015 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Lyle looks like someone who would have been on a Wheaties box. He looks familiar.

    Ugly toes made me LOL! I can doctor mine up pretty good for the summer butt OMG to them right now.

    Let’s have a vision that Our Land is possible in our lifetime, no matter who is President. I had to laugh at Don’s comment. I have to agree that you’ve loaded up your plate!
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…I chucked my FitBit for Apple pastures…My ProfileJanuary 10, 2015 – 11:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I don’t know if he was on a Wheaties box or not but he probably could have been!! He was kinda a big deal football player back when…
      HAHAH to you having ugly toes in the winter. Mine are pretty much ugly all the time, even when I doctor them up. The second one is too short and a little under the first and I’ve always ALWAYS hated it… dumb though right because TOES!!!
      and Yeah, Don. :)
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 10, 2015 – 11:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Darcy Perdu (So Then Stories) - Damn, girl – I love your list!
    I’m definitely voting for you as President of All Things!!
    Darcy Perdu (So Then Stories) recently posted…My Daughter’s So Frikkin’ EMBARRASSING! (But THIS Evidence Shows It Might Be… Hereditary!)My ProfileJanuary 10, 2015 – 12:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - I loved your drawings, Kristi Rieger Campbell. Are they seriously the ones you drew as a kid? Wow! you have maintained them well…i dunno where all mine are :(

    On the other side…you are so right about being a president in so many things in our respective lives…sometimes I also crack upon thy responsibilities…lol

    Have a good weekend!January 10, 2015 – 8:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - You could not pay me enough to be president. Even president of the PTA. Silly, I know – but I’ve been asked multiple times. I don’t like the buck to stop with me; I like someone else ahead of me. Is that horrible? Probably, but it’s the truth. I’m happy to be VP though, so if you need a VP of all things, let me know.
    Dana recently posted…Now, for our next adventureMy ProfileJanuary 11, 2015 – 1:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - UGH to the PTA president! That sounds almost as bad as the US president. I think I’d be okay with deciding on the buck but not at listening to everybody whine and disagree with me ;)
      You can be my VP any day!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 11, 2015 – 8:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - I’ll join you! Beautifully put. You’ll make a fine president.January 12, 2015 – 2:19 amReplyCancel

  • Eli@coachdaddy - Lyle Alzado was a big deal. Remember that Orange Crush defense? I was just thinking about it … that all these years later, I can name so many players. Louis Wright, Steve Foley, Rubin Carter, Tom Jackson, Lyle Alzado … and how sad was it to see him wind up in silver and black?

    As for the rest of this … I went 17 different places as I read you. Yes, we’re in charge of it, aren’t we?

    Everybody would know, without a doubt, that they are perfectly imperfect, exactly as they are. Crooked smiles, big ears, fat butts, ugly toes and self doubt. We’re all okay. Better than okay even. Perfectly imperfect.

    I’ve gotten a better grip on imperfection. Of stopping the noise from polluting all good things. Of knowing the days of feeling inadequate won’t ever go away, but I can learn to navigate them being kind to myself.

    I’ve said too much here, and I’m sorry about that. But thank you for the words you used here to get right to how I felt. And for inspiring me with how you’d lead.

    You have my vote.
    Eli@coachdaddy recently posted…A List of Fake Sh*t, and Other TravestiesMy ProfileJanuary 13, 2015 – 1:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so so so remember Orange Crush. I remember when Craig Morton went to the superbowl and we lost… and going to school the next day with friends saying “we’re number two!” and just being bummed. I didn’t enjoy watching football as much in 3rd grade but totally remember watching the playoff game that led up to it and loving it… and the crap of us sucking then. I also grew up living next door to Winston Hill – do you remember him? He was retired by the time I met him but he came to my wedding and so many of my work colleagues that were older than I was were in line to meet him. Such an honor for sure.
      Also you can never say too much here. Let’s make a little Old Mile High pact that we have to have to have to stop the noise from messing with the Good Things. That we can be kind to ourselves even when we want to punch ourselves in the faces. Deal?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…If I Were President of All of The ThingsMy ProfileJanuary 13, 2015 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

      • Eli@coachdaddy - Norris Weise came to the Greeley Mall to sign autographs that year. Remember him? He was Craig Morton’s backup. We had all the Orange Crush T-shirts, one that said, “Rolling to the Dome,” and then Dallas smacked them.

        It’s a deal. Kind to ourselves. I like that.January 14, 2015 – 8:23 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - It certainly seems to be a fun job though I would probably be drunk with power…or just drunk by Day 2!!
    Roshni recently posted…People of America: an Asian momMy ProfileJanuary 14, 2015 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Kristi Rieger Campbell FOR PRESIDENT!!!! I would vote for you. I like what you’d do… <3January 15, 2015 – 4:13 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Oh, yes! So with you on this one!
    Jhanis recently posted…Bukayo – Coconut Candy RecipeMy ProfileJanuary 15, 2015 – 5:22 amReplyCancel

  • Meredith - Ummm, I’d totally nominate you to be president of all the things if it meant I could eat nachos for every meal and never gain weight. Seriously, my favorite food!
    Meredith recently posted…Fruit By the Foot Printables for Birthdays and Valentine’s DayMy ProfileJanuary 15, 2015 – 10:18 amReplyCancel

  • Pattie Thomas - I lurves ya, Kristi. Your compassion, empathy, and wonder at all the things never ever fails to remind me to pay it forward in my daily doings.January 15, 2015 – 1:14 pmReplyCancel

Where has the time gone? It feels as though this year passed in a single breath. And yet, when I slow down and focus on the minutes and the hours and the adventures, I remember many breaths. Some were spent anticipating. Living. Others, worrying, and waiting. Getting through. Some of my breaths were held and […]

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Just before drifting off to sleep, my son rolls over to check that I’m still there and grips my hand more tightly in his. I like to think that he’s locking my presence into his dreams. Sometimes, while lying in the dark or playing in the light, I think about all of the things I […]

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  • Janine Huldie - Aww, I keep telling myself this too as I don’t want to ever forget this time or what my girls were like either when they grow up, because as crazy as it all is this really is (as Billy Joel sang) “The Time to Remember”.
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Christmas Party Games Wonderful WednesdayMy ProfileDecember 18, 2014 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • April Grant - I would love to keep my babies babies, but looking at them now, the joy that I see of them growing together. I hope it stays that way.
    April Grant recently posted…On Christmas Morning…My ProfileDecember 18, 2014 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Amen. Yes to it all! I want it all, but it is so bittersweet. I cannot imagine my children as old, I just can’t it given vertigo:(. And I too hope to be really, really super-duper old. I have to be.December 18, 2014 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Five minutes ago, I hugged my not-so-little but still little boy, and I breathed in deep as if to save that moment. I can’t save it, but I can remember. Love this, Kristi – made me sigh big (in a good way), as your posts often make me do.
    Dana recently posted…Beyonce and Big WheelsMy ProfileDecember 18, 2014 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - This post appeared at just the right time for me. I just found out a few hours ago that my across the street neighbor tragically died suddenly (I don’t even know the circumstances). She was in her 60s and had 2 kids as well as 2 grandkids. When things like that happen, it really shakes me up and of course I immediately think of my own kids if something were to happen to me. And when you said this, it really rang true to me: “I want to live long enough so that I feel okay when leaving. I don’t know that there’s ever a time that any parent feels okay leaving this life but I have faith that some of us manage to do so in peace. That we leave knowing that we did enough.” That is a beautiful statement and I truly hope I leave knowing I did enough. I believe my mom died feeling that way and that also gives me peace in return.
    Emily recently posted…Please Don’t Force My Kids To ReadMy ProfileDecember 18, 2014 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Emily! I’m so sorry about your neighbor :( and yes to the hoping that we live long enough to know that we did enough. I love love that you feel your mom reached that point I want us to be there. First though we need some boys of ours to grow oldish and have the grandbabies right?
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…When I Am Old, I Want To Remember My Now Little BoyMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Heidi N. - you always make me cry! thanks for the timely message as we all get so caught up in the holiday craziness, I’m also dealing with a sick Dad who must be thinking all of this himself as he waits on more test results from doctors…I too have a hard time thinking of my special boy as an adult, we always want to do more, get him ready for the real world as best we can, protect him for as long as we can, savor as much as we can. Happy Holidays.December 18, 2014 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - wow. just wow. thank you for getting it, as always. that it is so important to remember the NOW. that we need these memories for when we are cleaning puke, when we are dealing with IEPs or when we worry about the future.
    Kerri recently posted…SistersMy ProfileDecember 18, 2014 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Beautiful! I’m so glad you tell yourself to remember. I used to do that all the time and still, I can’t always remember, but I try. I like to try to remember the smells, the smiles. But you have even one more thing–the writing. You will have that. Always. Forever. And you’ll be able to come back and reflect and again, remember.
    Out One Ear – Linda Atwell recently posted…The Case Of The Missing Christmas StockingMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - I’d like to think that we are enough. We have to be, our kids won’t have another chance. That can be a great weight of responsibility, but somehow I remain optimistic that we’ll muddle through it. I’m not really sure why I think that way. I suppose that’s what makes me an optimist at heart. I think that you are a optimist as well, in all of the versions of Kristi that you’ve shared with us on your blog. Happy Holidays to your family and you!December 19, 2014 – 3:12 amReplyCancel

  • Undiagnosed but Okay - Remember this post 19, 2014 – 4:26 amReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - What a beautiful post!
    Susan Zutautas recently posted…Positive Thinking on Finish the Sentence FridayMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 5:27 amReplyCancel

  • Vidya Sury - And as usual, your post made me cry! So beautiful, Kristi. It is what every Mother wants in her heart, no? Hugs! Your boy is beautiful. And looks so much like you. Each time I see a parent with a child who looks like him/her, I marvel at the miracle, the joy of creating another human being and nurturing them.

    Your post got me all choked up. Right now, I am already freaking out over the fact that he only has another 4 months left in the school he’s been going to since grade 1. Whether or not he feels sad, I know I’ll miss it. ♥ How quickly life goes on!
    Vidya Sury recently posted…The Life In My YearsMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 6:40 amReplyCancel

  • Rachael Boley - This is absolutely beautiful!!! Something I think about daily!December 19, 2014 – 9:17 amReplyCancel

  • Shailaja/ The Moving Quill - This was so incredibly beautiful. Can I just say that this is all exactly what I want for my child too? I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. What a lovely set of wishes.
    Shailaja/ The Moving Quill recently posted…Back and ForthMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 9:22 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - For this prompt I briefly mentioned I could have written about how I want to be looking back on my life from an old age. And then I moved on to pie crust. Just TypiKel. But there’s more to it. My sister lost a dear friend two weeks ago to a 5 week battle with cander. She was 68. I learned this week that a good friend of mine is also threatened by it at 64. She’s had a biopsy but hasn’t told me the results and there’s been no word from her family. I’m thinking the news isn’t good. Some of us like Mom reach 92 but the majority of us don’t. Thank you for the reminder to treasure every single day.
    Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…Wonder If I’ll Ever Get ItMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 10:18 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - I love this post and so agree!!
    When my boys were younger I spent many days just hoping to make it through the day instead of treasuring the time. Now that they are teens I try to make the most of every minute because soon they will fly away:(
    Kim recently posted…My Year of Running 2014My ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 10:50 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kim,
      It’s easy to get stuck just hoping to make it through the day. I think that’s why it’s even more important to try to treasure the moments. Believe me there are days when, at 3pm, I wonder how I’m going to get through/fill up the next 5 hours!
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…When I Am Old, I Want To Remember My Now Little BoyMy ProfileDecember 20, 2014 – 4:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - This was absolutely incredible, Kristi! I really like the hand holding through Tucker’s mind before falling asleep. That struck a chord in me as I’ve worked really hard the past 4 months to fill my mind with happy, repetitive thoughts before falling asleep. It’s SO awesome how you are thinking, feeling and envisioning this beautiful tomorrow that both you and Tucker will have! It only gets more beautiful each and every day. I think about getting old too and always hoping and praying I will be in good health with my wits about me. Loved this post :)
    Mike recently posted…Pike Place Market and the Market Magic & Novelty ShopMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh this one got me all gushy flash forwarding to knowing my old man son. Wouldn’t that be so cool!

    I love though how you’ve put remembering this moment into perspective. I’m starting to see that “in the blink of an eye” people talk about. :-(
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…Where to start…My ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 1:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison - YES, love love. It is perfect, so perfect. xo
    Allison recently posted…My favorite photos didn’t make our holiday cardMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 1:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - well now you made the entire blog world sob into their sweaters!
    I think of that so often. Every time a whole day goes by and I haven’t been present once. Shame on me.December 19, 2014 – 2:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Leonor Vidal Carrosquilla - This was so beautiful! Thank you for inspiring a piece of my own today. Love this!December 19, 2014 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - Kristi, this is such a timely post. It seems like this is the time of year when we’re supposed to be making memories, but it’s so easy to get caught up in the to-do list that the memories themselves fall by the wayside. I hope we are all fortunate enough to know our children’s children, and to be able to tell them stories of when their parents were little. That kind of family storytelling is priceless. (And although I know you’re thinking about how much of Tucker’s story to share here moving forward, the fact that you’ve written down so many memories makes it more likely that you’ll remember them — writing things down ingrains them on your memory in a unique way!)
    Michele @ A Storybook Life recently posted…There’s the Promise of a Christmas Card, and There’s the Reality of the Christmas Card Photo Shoot.My ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 3:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so relate to getting caught up in the to-do’s and not being present!!! I so so so so SO hope to know my grandchildren and that all of us do!!!! Family storytelling is priceless and while I don’t know how much of Tucker to share I so love that you get it and very much appreciate your reminder.
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…When I Am Old, I Want To Remember My Now Little BoyMy ProfileDecember 20, 2014 – 11:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Becky Holland - So beautiful. You make me think of my little man and when he reaches out and touches my cheek to ensure I am still there or opens his eyes, smiles and goes back to sleep. Such precious memories.
    Becky Holland recently posted…ResolutionsMy ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - *sigh* This is beautiful.

    At some point if I ever manage it, y’all are gonna have to do FTSF prompts I want to join in with.December 19, 2014 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - No words, Kristi!! No words for this beautiful post!!
    Roshni recently posted…The Indian American Mom’s report card!My ProfileDecember 19, 2014 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I can’t find words to express how insanely gorgeous this is. I know this feeling too well especially as I am watching my youngest son walk that fine line between boy and young man. He still hugs me and tells me he loves me, misses me when we aren’t together but I feel the pull already and I know it’s near time to start letting go just a little. I spend a ridiculous amount of time smelling his hair and feeling the warmth of his hand in mine these days because I want desperately to remember how it feels. Once again, you have written my heart. Thank you.December 20, 2014 – 7:25 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I had just kissed my son’s hand after holding it before I read this post. Thanks for the tears! Gather those golden moments and hold them close!
    Elizabeth recently posted…THE SISTER WHO IS THE SAMEMy ProfileDecember 20, 2014 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kirsten Jill Robbins - I have no words to tell you how much I love this.December 20, 2014 – 5:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - Simply gorgeous! xoDecember 21, 2014 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

  • Nicki Gilbert - Love. That is all. Just love. You. This. The way you writer about Tucker. The way you write. Love.December 21, 2014 – 3:22 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - ***I want to remind them that breathing the summer’s night air or the crispness of a freezing winter evening while looking at the stars has felt the same since forever and will continue to do so. For all of us. For everyone. Forever.***

    O, my heart. xxDecember 21, 2014 – 4:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - Kristi, I tell myself this so much that sometimes I fear I’m ruining the moment by telling myself to remember it…it reminds me that it won’t always be there, and then that makes me sad. I know that wasn’t the point of your post, haha, but that’s where my mind took me. When my “living in the moment” makes me reflect too much and, in turn, become sad that these moments will pass, I remind myself that other sweet moments are in store for the future, too. And that makes me happy. :)
    Shay from Trashy Blog recently posted…Trashy Shorts: Morning Commute: Christmas EditionMy ProfileDecember 22, 2014 – 10:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Shay,
      I so get what you’re saying. Sometimes? I even cry when thinking about how much I’ll miss a moment when it’s gone even when it’s happening. Stupid, but yeah. Here’s to the moments remembered and the ones coming up that make us happy <3
      Kristi Campbell recently posted…When I Am Old, I Want To Remember My Now Little BoyMy ProfileDecember 22, 2014 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Valerie Newman - Hey, I loved this. Where can I find out more about FTSF?December 22, 2014 – 11:55 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - As usual, another one that had me holding my breath while I read it. Beautiful, Kristi! I love how you write.

    I do the same with my kids sometimes, especially with the younger twins. I don’t plan to have more kids, so I try to treasure every little thing about them and soak it all up. And I’m one of those people who want to live really really long and old and meet grandkids and who knows great grandkids.
    Nina recently posted…Extracurricular Activities: Does Your Child Freak Out and Cling onto You?My ProfileDecember 23, 2014 – 9:42 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Oh, yeah, Kristi – me too! All of it.
    Happy Christmas to all of you from all of us!December 23, 2014 – 6:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I’m so glad this piece was picked up. It is beautiful. And Merry Christmas to all of you on the other coast. Unless of course you are celebrating elsewhere. Then find your joy where you are. Love and hugs sent your way.
    Out One Ear – Linda Atwell recently posted…Merry Christmas Advice From LindseyMy ProfileDecember 24, 2014 – 1:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - So beautifully written, Kristi. I often feel the same way when I look at my children. They’re all grown now, but thankfully I have dozens of photo albums to remind me of all the wonderful times we have had together. It never ceases to amaze me though how fast time seems to pass the older we get.
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted…Ten Reasons My Husband Is My best FriendMy ProfileDecember 28, 2014 – 6:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Tracie - This is so very beautiful.
    Tracie recently posted…Unsolvable MysteriesMy ProfileJanuary 4, 2015 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - YES! I want to remember it all too. It’s one of my biggest fears. Forgetting. Beautiful post!
    Meredith recently posted…Butternut Squash & Pumpkin SoupMy ProfileJanuary 6, 2015 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - *Gasps* This. Is. Beautiful. <3 "Remember this." Thank you Kristi Rieger Campbell.January 6, 2015 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Daily conundrum can certainly get in the way of spending real quality time if we let it. When I grow old and wrinkly, what shall I remember of my kids’ childhood? Thank you for the reminder. I heart this so much!
    Jhanis recently posted…Becoming a Better BloggerMy ProfileJanuary 7, 2015 – 7:27 amReplyCancel

  • Bronwyn Joy - Gorgeous. Thanks for this. Your timing is just right :)
    Bronwyn Joy recently posted…I Don’t Wish You A Merry ChristmasMy ProfileJanuary 7, 2015 – 7:33 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Smith Sprenger - Oh my goodness. This was during the month when I read absolutely nothing. I’m so glad I didn’t miss it completely. One of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read.January 7, 2015 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • April G - Such a beautiful post.. I’m not sure that I think I’ll be an awesome parent, but I want to do better. I completely see their struggles, but I certainly know that I need to overcome them. I love just sitting next to them and I hope I’m here for a long time too!
    April G recently posted…Naughty Boss by Heather – #InTheRawMy ProfileJanuary 20, 2015 – 9:10 amReplyCancel

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