Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Ridiculous Me

This past weekend, I had an escape.  I was able to travel to Colorado (my hometown and a favorite place always) for my stepmom’s 75th birthday.  It was perfect. Seriously, it was a really great weekend.  And not just ‘cause I got to ride in a ninee.

But before I got there, it wasn’t so great.

A four-hour delay in Chicago gave me time to think really ridiculous and weird thoughts.  On one side, I have a confident, world-traveled brain that knows thousands of moms leave their three-year olds with their dads for a weekend away.  All the time.  And everything turns out just fine.  It’s the other side that’s a jerk.  The stupid, mean side of my brain imagines all sorts of horrifying scenarios.

First, we scroll through the normal anxiety-based scenarios like “I hope my plane doesn’t crash.”   Everybody thinks this stuff, right?

AirportSprial

From there, it got even more ridiculous.  I wondered whether Tucker and Robert would be able to survive a tree falling on them.  It happens.

TreeFall

At some point, I realized that I was being ridiculous.  I think it happened in the bathroom.  Because certainly nobody else is this stupid.

AirportToilet_1

Calling Robert for comfort wasn’t an option.  While he’s used to my particular brand of crazy, even he has his limits when it comes to reassuring me.

So then, I became productive!

Massage

Oh.  You thought I meant I was working?  Nah.  I meant productive as in proactively relaxing.

My flight finally left, I made it to Denver in time for dinner and had an awesome time with my family.  I won’t tell you about the flight home, because I didn’t have a four-hour delay in Chicago and therefore, no time for a massage.  Or any of that other stuff.


  • Maggie Amada - Kristi, I don’t know if everybody thinks this stuff but I certainly do. It’s hard leaving your kids, parting with your responsibilities for a few days and it’s natural to get anxious. You’re way ahead of me in that you were able to leave your family for a few days and enjoy yourself. Congratulations on that.March 5, 2013 – 8:25 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Maggie, it really is SO hard to leave alone. I had a hard time even getting out of the house. You know, though, it was really worth it. It took me a long time but I’m so glad I went. Once you decide it’s time, you’ll love it. I promise. And it’s totally fine to call home every hour if you need to! 😉March 5, 2013 – 8:40 pmReplyCancel

  • nothingbythebook - Lice on toilet paper? Well, thank you for that. One more thing to worry about in public washrooms…March 5, 2013 – 8:27 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Sorry 🙁March 5, 2013 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

  • @facethesun - I have never thought the lice thing, but definitely have worried about either something happening to me or something happening to him while we are separate. I am going to assume it’s normal.March 5, 2013 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - I guess it is normal. But I always feel guilty feeling like that if something DOES happen, I hope we all die together. Dumb. I know. Thanks for the visit. 🙂March 5, 2013 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Oh, this is funny! I am sorry you went there with your extra time. However, I am glad you got some time with your family and that Tucker and his dad were able to have some time together too!March 5, 2013 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Courtney,
      Me, too! Thanks! It ended up being just perfect. Stupid brain.March 5, 2013 – 8:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Why does your brain sound so much like my own, except my drawing renditions are no where near as good!! 🙂March 5, 2013 – 8:44 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Janine, maybe it’s just a mom-brain syndrome? And be glad you don’t spend time creating the worst art on the planet. Really.March 5, 2013 – 8:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Henriette - I think you need to hit up the bar at the airport next time. First thing! Nothing a bottle of white won’t fix! 😉

    …and yes, I do think all moms have those crazy, scary thoughts. And we are probably suppose to?!March 5, 2013 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Henriette,
      You are SO RIGHT that a bottle of white would have helped. I guess these crazy thoughts are just us being moms, huh? Thanks for the comment!March 5, 2013 – 9:05 pmReplyCancel

      • Henriette - You know, this would never happen pre-Tucker! Forgetting to hit up the airport bar. Sheesh…Amateur! 😉March 5, 2013 – 9:32 pmReplyCancel

        • admin - No shit woman. I need to get back to my roots. WTF.March 6, 2013 – 12:19 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - First of all, why didn’t you call? I live 20 minutes from O’Hare! Second of all, I do that all the time!!! I am so sure that whenever my husband and son are without me some tragedy will befall either them or me. And since my thoughts are horrific, because my brain is super-mean, I will not share. Suffice it to say crazy pills helped, now I only do that 75% of the time.
    FF TTT x 10 🙂March 5, 2013 – 9:12 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Jen!
      If I’d have known I’d be there for so long, I so would have called! We could have said our TTTx10 in person and made total asses of ourselves. That would have been awesome.
      And wow! Crazy pills reduced crazy thoughts by 25%? That sounds like a win, to me.March 5, 2013 – 9:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - Kristi – Once again, you prove yourself. I’m not sure in what way, but you prove yourself! lol Really a funny post. I never went through what you did while preparing to fly, as my mind was usually filled with thoughts of how and where I could squeeze in one last cigarette before take-off, and how in the hell I was going to make it the entire flight without one! The trials and tribulations of being a smoker in today’s world. lol Great Job!March 5, 2013 – 9:40 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Rich, you awesome dude, thanks for the comment! Maybe I just proved that I’m a nut job? Was that the word you were looking for? And with four hours to kill, you’d have been able to have a whole bunch of cigarettes!March 6, 2013 – 10:26 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Looks like you and I were on the same page with all the catastrophizing, huh? (Shut up, spell check. It’s a fucking word.) After having just read my post today, I’m sure you know I can relate to your ridiculous (or not) feelings! I’m so glad you got a massage, and I’m really glad you got a kid break- you deserve it!March 5, 2013 – 10:08 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Indeed, woman. Seems we’re on the same page a lot. At least yours was grounded in a real-life thing. Mine was all made up in my head. Sigh. I loved your post by the way. Loved it lots.March 6, 2013 – 10:27 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I now have a great fear of trees falling on me, not just from your post but from hurricane sandy…lets just say our neighbors are currently re-building/repairing the roof, master bedroom, and entire front end of their house. I also have a great fear of lice as my boys have had it 3 times…good times. That pic of you on the toilet – priceless. As for that massage, you are one smart chick.March 5, 2013 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - UGH to your neighbors having to rebuild! I hope nobody was hurt…
      And ew to the lice three times. I’m really (REALLY) not good with bugs. Shudder. I’m always paranoid about them. Movie theatre seats? Check them! Toilets? Check them! Of course, I haven’t found any. Yet.March 6, 2013 – 10:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Wine, baby, wine. I think it will also kill lice on toliet paper. Which thank you for that because now I am itchy in places that are not so acceptable to itch in public.March 6, 2013 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

    • admin - You’re so clever! It never occurred to me that wine would kill the lice on the TP!
      Sorry about the itchies. Just got a little twinge, myself.March 6, 2013 – 10:30 amReplyCancel

  • Meredith - I know exactly what you mean! And I started dying when I got to the lice picture. Have you somehow gotten inside my head? Why do I think these things? I’m glad you managed to get away for a bit 🙂March 6, 2013 – 6:55 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Maybe we’re ALL bloody nuts! Thanks so much!March 6, 2013 – 7:59 pmReplyCancel

  • [email protected] G is silent - When I first had Noah I didn’t like anyone – even his dad at the time – to hold him for longer than like 5 seconds. He had two older boys but THIS baby was different. He could drop him. The first time he slept over at my parents’ house I sobbed. This is the woman who carried me in my womb and then raised me up to be a mom myself, why couldn’t I trust her? And where can I get one of those cool vagina cover-ups? Awesomesauce.March 6, 2013 – 9:11 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Kim, I wonder why Noah was more worrisome than the others? Maybe because he was younger and you realized how precious life is?? Weird. But awesome. And yeah, the stupid vagina cover-up wasn’t real, I had to draw it to protect my privacy. But rest assured that if you ever need for me to draw you one, I’d be more than happy to!March 7, 2013 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - That stuff happens to me 10 blocks from my house, forget about while I’m half way across the country. It’s total control-freak sabotage, and that’s my official diagnosis. Sorry, lady, you got it too. Evidently, from reading the comments here, it’s also catching! Glad you got away, though! Sounds like you were able to keep it at bay! 🙂March 6, 2013 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Rachel, thank you SO HUGE for giving our diagnosis a name! Control-freak-sabotage (or CFS for short) is apparently a very wide-spread disorder, affecting parents everywhere. You should write a book with cures! I hear wine is the best one, so far. Haven’t heard many others.March 6, 2013 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Dawn Beronilla - Hi stranger!
    So glad that you had a great weekend away and that the crazies didn’t end up getting you. Haha.
    Your pictures never fail to make me laugh! 🙂March 6, 2013 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Sweets! So glad you stopped by! Thanks huge for the comment…and I’m going right NOW to return some sloppy loves your way.March 6, 2013 – 11:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean Heff - Yes. Just, yes. I would tell you some of my worries to let you know you’re not alone but I feel I might just fuel the fire because I do this sort of thinking all the time too. Well, maybe not the lice on the toilet paper, but everything else. 🙂March 9, 2013 – 7:24 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Jean, no lice on the toilet paper scenarios for you? Consider yourself LUCKY!March 9, 2013 – 7:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Alicia D - LMAO!! Im serious, im laughing so hard right now. I can relate FAR too much to this post! the tree falling on the family in particular! though now you’ve given me new fears to ruminate upon while taking a piss 🙂April 30, 2013 – 9:00 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Alicia,
    YAY glad I gave you a chuckle! Sorry about the new fear with taking a piss, but the tree thing? Scary because it could totally happen, right???April 30, 2013 – 9:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty Brandon-Cotton - lol. have you seen “i don’t know how she does it”. think it was a book first. your little lice cartoon just made me laugh all over again!May 29, 2013 – 11:46 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - OHMYGOSH this is HILARIOUS and SO ME!!! And your pictures brilliantly add the spicing on the cake of this post Kristi!!

    I totally get you. Oh this cracks me UP. 🙂October 30, 2014 – 11:35 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I like that you covered your cartoon image with a patterned square just between the legs! So modest!! 😛November 4, 2014 – 1:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - This must have been written before I found you! Lice on the toilet paper? That may be one of the only things I *don’t* worry about.

    But now I do.

    Thanks a lot.November 4, 2014 – 6:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Piper George - Ha- I do this. All the worst things that could happen – and then some that would never happen – and then imagine how everyone would cope if it did happen . . . we have a zombie apocalypse plan in place. What more can I say!November 4, 2014 – 7:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Lillian Connelly - I could have written this. I can’t stop laughing and that is because I have totally been there.November 7, 2014 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s nuts to worry about such things – I know – but I can’t help it! Thanks for the reminder that I’m not alone in that Lillian!November 9, 2014 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

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