Last night, I was abducted by aliens while I slept. One minute, I was peacefully slumbering in bed, and the next, I was standing outside, on the sidewalk, looking at two creatures that I knew were from outer space.
Whether it was the glass of wine I’d had before bed or that they’d done some fancy mind trick on me, I was strangely calm. Not scared at all, nor worried about being violated.
They told me (and I’m not sure whether they spoke, or if I heard them in my head) that I was allowed to go back in time, and change one thing. It had to be something in my direct life.
Oh. I also got the distinct feeling that they were disappointed that more of my time had not been dedicated to the sciences, but they were nice about that.
Obviously, this was an amazing opportunity! I was excited! I started thinking about the one thing that I’d like to go back in time and change.
All of the witty comebacks that I’d not thought of until it was too late filled my head. I thought about the skank in high school who stole my boyfriend right before prom.
I thought about the time when that slimebucket of a CEO in Golden told me I’d have a job in spite of upcoming layoffs, let me go the next week along with the rest of the marketing department, and then asked me if I wanted to write the company a check for $8,000 to buy out my stock options (I didn’t write the check, thank goodness, being as they declared bankruptcy like a month later and probably knew they were going to when they asked for my money).
To go back in time and change something is pretty exciting. What would I fix?
I obviously thought about it. A lot.
Ultimately, I decided that I’d like for my husband and me to be 10 years younger, while keeping everything else exactly the same, because I want my son Tucker to be Tucker, and I want him to be him, 4 1/2 years old, and I want to have all the experiences that I have had.
I shared my idea with my new alien friends.
At first, I thought they were confused, or were translating my language or something. They just kept looking at me.
Looking at me like I was a moron.
Honestly, it got a bit uncomfortable, so I started wondering what I’d said. While trying to decide whether I’d offended them and whether I should offer them some Doritos or something from inside the house, I began to fantasize about being 10 years younger but having everything else stay exactly the same.
I started thinking some more about how my new alien friends might pull this off.
Originally, I assumed they’d just condense Robert’s and my life experiences and make them happen at a more rapid speed, so that everything else – but our age – could remain the same.
And then I started thinking about that. How they’d condense the moments, and whether them being more brief might affect the outcomes and the lessons.
I started to get nervous.
And the smaller of the two aliens told me how it would work.
More precisely, that it can’t work.
And I realized, with the help of a couple of aliens in the middle of the night, that it is our experiences that make us who we are. That changing a single one creates a ripple throughout time and space, and that, in the end, it’s simply much too risky to change anything.
I woke up the next morning in bed. I gave thanks for my life, for its ups and downs, and realized that if there’s something I want to change, that I need to look at the tomorrows rather than the yesterdays.
I was extremely refreshed, although a tiny bit violated-feeling. Also? All of the Doritos and beer was missing.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s sentence is “If I could go back in time… ” and has been brought to you by the hilarious Jennifer Schario Hicks of Real Life Parenting!