Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Oh To Have Two Extra Hours Each Day…

Do you remember when aliens came to visit, tempting me with a wish of anything I wanted? I wanted to have everything be exactly the same, except I wanted my husband Robert and I to be 10 years younger. That night, I sent them away, they stole all my beer and Doritos, and I haven’t seen them again.

Until now. This time, they had a different proposition for me. They were inspired by Daylight Savings Time, the fact that while we all blissfully gained another hour of sleep (not really, if you have a five-year-old, because they wake up at the same time whether the clock says to or not) and simultaneously complained about the fact that it’s now assdark:30 at just after 5:00pm.

They’ve been listening, and, apparently, the collective has been sending an “Oh, if I only had an extra hour or two everyday, I’d…” vibe into the universe. Perhaps they remembered that I always have beer and Doritos, or, perhaps, I was a great probe victim. Regardless, they came to visit once again to grant me a wish last night.

Aliens coming to grant a wish

They told me that they have a new proposition. This time, it was to ask me what I would do were I to find myself with two extra hours each day. What would I do with that time, they asked. The taller dude wanted beer of course.

Aliens tell me I get 2 hours and want beer

I asked them, to be sure I understood, because these particular aliens are much smarter than I am, what, exactly they meant. I asked whether I was reading the thoughts beamed into my brain correctly. Did I really have a chance to say what I’d do with two extra hours EVERY DAY?

Aliens me asking so I get two hours a day

“Yes,” they said. Although they looked at me kinda funny-like.

“OMG! I have two extra hours every single day?” I said!  What would I do?

1. Sleep. I know that is not noble in any way, but seriously, I’d like to sleep for two extra hours each day.

2. Therapy. My son’s therapy. He’s so tired after school each day, has a tutor once/week helping him with kindergarten stuff, has a “math and science” camp each week helping him to foster his love of robots and volcanos in a mainstreamed environment…He’s got speech therapy, occupational therapy, and just him therapy… I could use some extra time for this stuff.

3. Work. Really? I know; gross. For real, I’d work. I don’t always have enough time to do what I want to do in my job.

4. Volunteer. Not just in Tucker’s school, which I do, but elsewhere, more. I have been granted gigantic satisfaction volunteering at homeless shelters, women’s shelters and well, all of the places that need free, loving help.

5. I said sleep, right? Oh. Um, social media. I love sharing my fellow writing friends’ posts and words but often, I cannot keep up.

6. The gym. Sigh. I miss the gym. I miss liking me there.

7. Doing some Stuart Smalley stuff in the mirror. While I have an “I’m enough” sticker on my mirror, I wish to have some time to tell myself every single day that I am in fact, enough.

8. Drawing stupid pictures. They take time and I love them and I miss them.

9. Remembering stuff.

10. Playing with my little boy. I do this, a lot, but there are days when I’ve said to him that I can’t go somewhere because I have to work. That’s awful and horrible and I want that two extra hours for work and whatever so that when we go outdoors to kick the ball, I never look at my clock. Ever.

So, I told those alien dudes all of this.

Aliens I want everything

And, once again, I got this look. Like you know. I’m a moron.

The aliens looked at me like I was a moron

And once again, I started thinking about what I wanted.

Like, what, exactly, does two extra hours a day mean for the now and the here and the tomorrows? So I asked.

How would this work exactly2

Those little aliens told me that I could have all of my wishes. That I’d been granted two extra hours every single day. I knew that there was a catch, though.

Theres always a catch

I started thinking about the catch. And doing the math. If I were to gain two hours per day, seven days per week, that’s like 14 hours a week. Each month, that’s like 56 hours or 224 hours per a four-week month. Based on a 52-week year, that’s like 728 hours, or like 1/2-day per year. Which sounds glorious right?


Except that it comes with a price, as do all wishes.

aliens tell me I get older faster and the other one wants beer

As with all wishes, this one comes with consequences. Like aging more rapidly. Like not remembering the moments. So in the end, while I so very much wish I had two hours at the end of each day to myself, I think I’ll take this life of mine, time-constrained, busy, and often full of unworthiness, exactly as it is. It’s simply too risky to not to.

This has been a post inspired by Lisa of The Golden Spoons and Rabia of The Lieber Family‘s Tuesday Ten linkup. This week’s subject was what we’d do with an extra two hours per day, were we to be gifted them.

  • Mike - OH gosh I don’t like that “catch” and it sure does make sense doesn’t it? LOVE your pics – these rock! Sleeping would be great but mine has always been screwed up regardless. More time to play – absolutely. More Tucker time – wow could I relate to that for the prior 11 years up to Aug 25th in my life. But, no one, whether on this Earth or from Ork can or will EVER take my beer from me! And peanuts or pistachios are my late night staple…they will pull back a green, bloody stump if they try. Btw…you have a Bulgarian grandma that spies on you from next door with binoculars TOO, Kristi??? I’m glad you can relate. Great post, my dear 🙂November 5, 2014 – 2:49 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mike!!! It does sadly make sense I think and thanks for loving the pics!!! Sorry though to hear that your sleep has always been screwed up… mine has been recently which is maybe why I long for more of it?
      I love pistachios so much. And yes! She’s not Bulgarian but OMG she’s crazy and spies on all of us!! I’ll have to tell you more about her one of these days!November 6, 2014 – 12:09 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Crazy, but you somehow just made me feel world’s better that I won’t be getting more sleep anytime soon. Not sure how you did it, but just have to see thank you!! 😉November 5, 2014 – 6:59 amReplyCancel

  • Allie Smith - Okay, you opening paragraph made me spit out my coffee. Love this! And you certainly jam-packed your to hours! But I’m with you, if it ages me faster – I’m out. I missed the post about one wish , but I’m with you, ten years younger, and a slightly bigger bank account!November 5, 2014 – 7:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY for spitting coffee funny stuff and yay for not aging and to being 10 years younger with a bigger bank account (although I told the younger aliens to go away as well sigh).November 6, 2014 – 12:10 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I hate that it is dark-ass:30 at 5 freaking pm at night. I also think that two hours really isn’t enough for all you want to include. Unless you spread it out over that half-year. But I wonder, if you could only pick ONE choice what would it be?November 5, 2014 – 8:53 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hate the dark too freaking early too. And um. If I had to just pick one? Having wine with you!
      Oh not an option? Crap. I guess playing with Tucker. But you know, not when it’s all on his terms. Like outside and me forgetting what time it is? That kind of ball kicking or whatever. That usually lasts for 5 minutes so plenty of time to have wine with you too.November 6, 2014 – 12:12 amReplyCancel

  • clark - yeah, 2 hours could make a difference… but having tried the spend 18 to 20 hours awake approach to Happiness, I suspect that you have made the right choice (time-wise…will not address any other aspects of your negotiations with aliens, men-in-black or the guy at the gas station who says ‘No Problem’ instead of ‘you’re welcome’*
    enjoyed your post… and believe it or not, affirmationistically speaking, your Post will improve my day today.

    * hey, call me old** but even though I recognize the non-old segment of the population wanting to personalize their communications, but there’s no fuckin way ‘no problem’ is even close to ‘you’re welcome’….

    ** no don’t call me oldNovember 5, 2014 – 9:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I fucking love your comments so much always. They like make me think and shit. No way is “no problem” the same as “you’re welcome” and of course I will never call you old. I’ll call you names if you’d like, but not old; that is too relative and I’m too Clark to not get how much that our years don’t matter as much as our memories do.November 6, 2014 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • Scott - At least they ask if they can probe you.

    BTW…love the Metallica shirt. \m/November 5, 2014 – 9:42 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - So, the best part of this post is the last photo with alien #2 who is still saying “beer get.” Too funny — I’m with him!! 🙂November 5, 2014 – 9:53 amReplyCancel

  • Echo - This post is full of so much awesomeness! Your illustrations are amazeballs and the fact that you are wearing a Metallica T-shirt is pure perfection! Those damn aliens are always trying to trick ya!November 5, 2014 – 12:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well I’m almost always wearing a Metallica shirt so um, that part? Pretty realistic and I know – sneaky aliens.November 6, 2014 – 12:28 amReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Rant Rave Crave - Ah, why do those wishes always have catches?! I wish we could have 2 more hours in the day without growing older! Ah man! I hope your alien friends come back & visit soon…. maybe they’ll clean your house next time?November 5, 2014 – 4:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Me too me too to the more wishes without the catches. I wish that a lot! OMG do you think they’d really clean the house? That would be awesome!November 6, 2014 – 12:34 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Yay! So glad you linked up! I love you list, but agree that there might be more downfalls than benefits!November 5, 2014 – 5:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - I would want ALL THE EXTRA HOURS! And I’d fast-forward to 40 😀November 5, 2014 – 5:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Funny!There is always a catch, isn’t there! Love your alien illustrations – they make the story!:-DNovember 5, 2014 – 6:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - You come up with such awesome funny posts, Kristi!! Loved this one as well! 😀November 5, 2014 – 6:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie Thomas - I do think that catches should be mitigated. Two extra hours a day would mean that I could actually get a blog post finished now and again!November 5, 2014 – 7:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - I love what you did with this prompt, Kristi! There are times I’d gladly trade an alien probe for a few extra {free} hours!! Wait!?! Did I actually just write that on the internet? Oh well, I mostly meant it!November 6, 2014 – 9:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Rabia! HAHA that’s funny that you’d trade a little probe for a few free hours. Awesome 🙂November 6, 2014 – 5:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Ginny Marie - I love your pictures! They are awesome! Especially the old lady with the binoculars. That will be me someday!November 6, 2014 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Tarana Khan - I’m sure if I got two hours extra everyday I’d waste it on Facebook!I like your thinking, though, about treasuring the time we have already.November 7, 2014 – 7:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, that facebook thing is a time sucker. So easy to pop on for five minutes and have two hours go by…November 9, 2014 – 4:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I’m so glad the aliens came back!
    My answer is sorta funny. I already feel like all I do is work, so the extra two hours would not be work, like I might have thought I’d say.
    I’d say an extra hour in the morning to sleep or just.. not be late to school would be nice. And an extra at night for romance. At this point, I don’t even care who the romance is with.
    I just want romance.November 7, 2014 – 9:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So glad you were pleased to see the aliens again, Tamara. I feel like I work way too much as well. It’s hard to balance. Of course, last night, I was going to write something and ended up watching Breaking Bad instead. Sigh. Aww to the romance, sweets. Sending sister wife kisses and chocolate your way.November 9, 2014 – 4:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I’ve missed the aliens – they should visit more often. When I first read this prompt, the first thing I thought of was sleep. The next thing I thought was, “Crap. That would mean I would get older faster.” We are of one mind, my friend. Except my aliens would take chocolate and vodka.November 7, 2014 – 1:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, Dana – so glad that I am not alone in that thought of aging faster! I thought it was a little crazy so confirmation that it’s obvious to us at least is very appreciated. Do you keep your vodka in the freezer? I got the feeling they’re scared of the freezer, just FYI…November 9, 2014 – 4:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - You were a “great probe victim”—HAHAHA!!! I love your drawings, Kristi. You always crack me up!November 7, 2014 – 9:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Marcia! You always crack me up so glad to have been able to return the favor!November 9, 2014 – 4:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Lana - Your post and your drawings made me smile today – something I needed – so thank you! If I had two extra hours a day, I would hang out with my boys, because I feel like they will be gone so soon! Except I definitely do NOT want to speed up the aging process….Have a great weekend!November 8, 2014 – 1:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So glad to have given you a smile Lana!!! Hanging out with your boys sounds like a perfect use of two extra hours. The time – it really does fly by, doesn’t it? I hope your weekend has been wonderful!November 9, 2014 – 4:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Asd-Dr - HMM, and extra 2 hours – I am all about the extra sleep, but I think even more important would be to spend part of the time doing something fun with the kids, knowing I don’t have to look at the clock.November 8, 2014 – 5:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel the Alien - You’d probably need more than 2 hours a day to get all that done anyways. I’d probably squander my two hours sleeping. Also, I love your drawings! I love the old lady spying on you with binoculars!November 9, 2014 – 9:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Raymanda Floden - i would waste those hours on cleaning and sorting and organizing stuff that I have cleaned, sorted and organized. I would wish for the strength to ignore it as I did today and go get ice cream and watch a movie instead of make dinner for the 12 y/o….. We had a blast! I like what you would do with o=your son and you for 2 extra hours.November 11, 2014 – 1:53 amReplyCancel

  • British Mum USA - i would waste those hours on cleaning and sorting and organizing stuff that I have cleaned, sorted and organized. I would wish for the strength to ignore it as I did today and go get ice cream and watch a movie instead of make dinner for the 12 y/o….. We had a blast! I like what you would do with o=your son and you for 2 extra hours.November 11, 2014 – 1:54 amReplyCancel

  • Christine - If I had a bit more time in a day, I’d work out and have some more sleep… all impossible if you have a toddler and a very clingy <3 7 month old. But that's alright. 😉November 11, 2014 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Kristi,
    I love your blog posts
    o v e r f l o w i n g…
    with things that MATTER, that are significant, layered))).
    2 extra hours per day: I’d pray & write & love more.
    xxxNovember 11, 2014 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - AW!!! I think I must have missed this one!!! I LOVE IT!!!! Yeah- I guess I’ll take back those two hours too… cause you and me girl- we is gettin’ old already!!! lolNovember 20, 2014 – 4:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - Oh two hours would be amazing! But, aging more quickly? Not so much. Loved it.November 20, 2014 – 8:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Mom T - Kristi,
    I call myself Mom T. I have 4 children, and my oldest is 15 yrs old. He was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. We secretly knew all along, but didn’t know what to do about it.
    I recently came across your blog and wanted to thank you! It’s so difficult to learn about AS and to learn to adjust. It’s helpful to know that we aren’t the only parents out there.

    Thank you, again,
    Mom TNovember 24, 2014 – 8:06 pmReplyCancel

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