Cookie?

Me:  “Tucker, what’s behind your back, buddy?  Did you find a cookie?” (uh oh, where could he have found a cookie?  I thought we were out.  This might not be good because I’m pretty sure there wasn’t one out on the counter or on the table…)

Tucker:

 

Me:  “Ok.  We’ll have to get some at the store later.  We’re out.  Let me get you some juice.”  (turn my back to get him some juice thinking that I rock the healthy mom thing since he doesn’t have a cookie and now he’ll ingest goodness, love and Florida sunshine)

Tucker:

 

Me:  “Oh no.  Buddy where did you find that?” (fuck,* where could he have found that?
I’m pretty positive I watched hubby eat the last cookie last night.  In fact I’m sure of it, because I distinctly remember telling him that he’d better not let Tucker see him eating his last cookie.) 

Tucker:

 

Me:  “Sweetie, are you sure you didn’t just eat a cookie?  You can tell mommy.  Did you find a cookie?  Was it here at home?”  (please let the stupid cookie have at least come from within our own walls.  I didn’t see him pick up anything from the sidewalk or anything though…) 

Tucker:

 

Me:  “Ok, I’ll believe you.  We’d better wash your hands though, ok?” (I’m using awesome parenting skills and showing him that I trust him.  Really, I’m just giving up.  He’s never going to tell me where he got the cookie.  It’s something I will never know.  Hopefully he doesn’t start bleeding from his ears from Ebola)

Tucker:

*I’ve internally debated more often than is healthy about whether to ever swear in this blog.  I know that I have a few readers that will most definitely not appreciate swearing.  I know that I have more that likely will.  My natural instinct (in real life) is to swear quite a bit. But I’m trying to get over it.  Mostly because I don’t need my son swearing when he finally does talk more.  Plus, hubby has threatened me with death if Tucker’s first story contains any colorful descriptors including fucktard, assclown, asstard, fuckwit and shitfuck.

I apologize to any and all that are offended by my swearing.  But sometimes, it just makes it funnier.  It’s true.  But I still apologize.