Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Finish the Sentence Friday: The last time I went on vacation, I…

Finish the Sentence Friday

The last time I went on vacation was over the holidays when we went to visit my family in Colorado.  It was perfect and I already told you all about it – illustrated with photos and everything – here.

So instead, I’ll tell you about the time 20 years ago or so (crap, I’m old) when I deserved to become an urban legend reality on a trip to Mexico.  About halfway through the trip, my then-boyfriend and I decided to experience more than just the beach and the water, and signed up for a horseback jungle tour.  Although I initially assumed it’d be a multi-couple trip, it was just us and the guide that day.

We enjoyed hours of sun, hiking and swimming before our guide told us it was time to head back and asked us if we’d like to stop for refreshments on the way.  Desperate to pee, I said yes, expecting, well, an actual establishment.  With bathrooms.  What we got was two locals hanging out in the middle of the jungle under a thatch-roof “bar” about eight feet long that had definitely seen better days.  The barstools were sawed off palm trees still rooted in the ground they grew in.  The closest “seat” was about four feet from the bar.

The two guys (I’m assuming they were the owners) asked us if we wanted some tequila.  Not wanting to be rude to our new best friends, we accepted.  When they broke out a really old-looking rum bottle and started pouring, I pointed at the bottle and questioned “rum?”  They just laughed and told me this was “the real tequila.”  Meaning homemade.  Normal people would have said no thanks.  But we were feeling at one with our new local amigos and having an awesome day.  And so we drank.  I think we had two shots each (ok fine…maybe it was three) and decided we’d better head back to the resort as the sun was beginning to set as there was no way in hell I was riding a horse through the Puerto Vallarta jungle in the dark, new tour-guide amigo or not.

We passed some gorgeous scenery and rode through a small local village where I was amazed at the beautiful happy people living in such poverty.  And then I passed out fell asleep.  On the horse.

Although I totally could have, I did not wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.  All of my fingers (and jewelry) were still attached to my hands.  But you know if you’d seen my mug on the news with the story-line:

MORE AT 11:00

…you so would have thought “What a couple of dumbass tourists.  Who goes on a horseback ride in the jungle with a foreign tour-guide – alone – and then drinks homemade tequila!?  No wonder they’re missing their kidneys.  Dipshits! ”

The moral?  There are really awesome people out there in the world who will not take advantage of you even when you deserve it.

This post was once again brought to you by “Finish the Sentence Friday” and our fabulous hosts Kate from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine… and Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic.  This week’s sentence was obviously “The last time I went on vacation, I…”

Next week’s sentence to finish: “When I was younger I tried…” ( and let’s just be clear now that I’m not sure I’m comfortable finishing that one and may have to be too busy to participate).

  • Emily - That sounds like an amazing adventure! And I love the way you told it with your wonderful humor!January 18, 2013 – 9:01 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Aw, thanks, Emily! It was really fun. Probably not something I’d try now…as an old mom…January 18, 2013 – 9:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Ha! I am so glad you still had your kidneys when you woke up! What a funny storyJanuary 18, 2013 – 9:22 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - I’m glad I had my kidneys, too. And thanks. It’s funny in hindsight because nothing bad happened. But I was SO not in the mode of self preservation that day. Oy, to be young and stupid…January 18, 2013 – 9:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Great story and agree with Emily, I loved how you infused your humor here on this tale. Thanks again for linking up and look forward to seeing you again next week!! 🙂January 18, 2013 – 9:29 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks, Janine! And thanks again for hosting. I’m SCARED to write anything for next week. I’m not sure I have anything acceptable to put in the blogosphere. Luckily, I have a whole week to think about it. 🙂January 18, 2013 – 9:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Henriette - OMG! I just spat out my Amaretto on my screen. Gross, I know. Don’t tell my hubby! You are so funny!!! BTW, I’m expecting a drawing with Robert wearing a Pats jersey pretty soon… GO PATS! 😉

    …do you only do lunch dates with my hubby or do I get one too? I owe you one… 😉January 18, 2013 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Henriette my darls, I will always have time for lunch with you. Ok, well, not really, but I always WANT to have time for lunch with you. I thought Sal might bring you today, actually…
      And sorry about ruining the computer screen. Luckily, you have the kiddo to blame it on!
      And…rooting for Pats? Um, sorry…don’t know who that is. No cheering, here. And WTF anyway, why are you cheering for them? Isn’t there some hot Norwegian player doing hockey or something you’re supposed to root for? American Football? REALLY? Check out John Elway. He’s the bomb. Retired, now, but helping out with the Broncos. HE is who you root for, woman.January 19, 2013 – 12:40 amReplyCancel

  • Joy - Hahaha, I loved the drawing of you on the horse, all passed out, the most!! Great stuff! xoxoJanuary 19, 2013 – 4:28 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks, Joy!January 19, 2013 – 7:58 amReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - I’m still laughing over the drawing of you on the horse and the smiles on your tour guide and your then-boyfriend. SO funny!!! Terrye (Misplaced Alaskan) had a similar drinking experience (but w/ rum), although no horses were involved.January 19, 2013 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Oooh, I’ll have to check out Terrye’s post! Thanks again for hosting – such fun!January 19, 2013 – 5:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Azara - I’m glad this story had a happy ending! My husband and I have decided we will probably never visit Mexico since they keep killing the Canadian tourists.January 19, 2013 – 8:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Seriously Kate - I like the picture! 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    KateJanuary 19, 2013 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Sure thing, plan to go back. Bummed I missed out and was so late to the party! Some really fun and cool vacation posts featured!January 19, 2013 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - OMG, that is awesome..I had a few of those adventures when I was younger and wilder…glad your kidneys are intact!January 20, 2013 – 1:55 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Me too, Kimberly! Thanks for the comment!January 20, 2013 – 10:26 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Loved it! Hilarious. I love to travel. I think I use it to recover from taking care of my daughter. (I love Puerto Vallarta) but have to admit I’ve never done a horseback ride through the jungle, drinking homemade gut rot. I think I’ll just live vicariously through you on this one. Thanks for the smile.January 20, 2013 – 11:40 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Ya, I think I’ll live vicariously to the me of 20 years ago, too.
      And you’re so right – travel can really replenish the bucket of peace we all spill way too often. 🙂January 20, 2013 – 12:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty @ Meet the Cottons - OMG!January 20, 2013 – 3:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - I am now late to the comment party too, forgive my suckiness. I can’t get over that picture. You have a gift, friend. And I bet we would have been great travel companions back in the day! 😀January 20, 2013 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Dude! Let’s travel together now because I want your mommy and daddy TOO. Let’s plan it now. I’m thinking either Disney Cruise or Disney World FL December this year. You in? (and more importantly, are your parents in? surely they’ll adopt Tucker as their own yes?)
      In case I made you nervous, totally kidding. Well, not totally….let me know if you’re open to it 😉January 20, 2013 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

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