Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

I have some bad habits.

About 15 years ago, my dad gave me a four-page article on procrastination. I assume that it outlined some common reasons why people procrastinate, and what steps we should take in order to overcome it. I use the word “assume” because I never read it. I never read it and it was only four pages long. True story. I procrastinated reading an article on procrastination for so many years that, even if I were able to find it, it’s likely outdated and crinkled.

Some people may say that procrastination is a bad habit. I don’t disagree, but it kindof works for me. I feel all sorts of pressure and manage to get things done at the last minute. Sure, it’d be nice to be more organized but I’m not sure that’s a trick that this particular old dog can learn.

I have some bad habits. I have a bad habit of procrastinating and a bad habit of often not being very nice to myself. I do not exercise as much as I should and I often grab food on the go. I need to work on these things. I do.

But I’m far more interested in working on the annoying and somewhat disturbing bad habit I have of imagining my own tragic and untimely death. Becoming a mom has given my life far more value and importance to me, and, for the first time, I’m hyper-aware of how horrible it would be for Tucker to grow up motherless. On an intellectual level, I know that people are able to navigate their lives after having lost a mother during their early years, and I also know that the odds of something terrible happening to me are not that big.

But emotionally, I do not get this at all. I told you guys about how I imagined all sorts of scenarios when I travelled sans Tucker and Robert this past spring.

These thoughts don’t only come when I travel.

I can be happily walking out of a mall, wondering whether I should have paid $100 for a pair of shoes that I didn’t really like but were originally $300 and “OMG I could own a pair of $300 shoes for $100!” (that nobody will notice anyway because they’ll rarely be worn outside of my part-time job) when I am blind-sided by flash-mob thoughts of my imagined tragic death.

A gigantic sinkhole could open up in the parking lot and suck me down into a boiling lava pool.

I might trip, fall down, and be too flustered to move quickly enough to avoid the UPS truck backing up after a delivery.

Part of a dead satellite could fall from the sky and land on my head.

I could be abducted by aliens.

Ok that one’s a lie. I’m not ridiculous, after all. Aliens. Sheesh. Even I know that they prefer to abduct younger people to impregnate with alien babies who will be born looking human but will in fact be plants that feed on our livers while we are in a deep sleep, brought on by their scentless plant emissions.

I have some bad habits. Do you? What are they? Do you worry about random shit like a tree falling on your loved ones? Is it just me?

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. The sentence is “I have a bad habit of…”  Next week’s sentence is “I used to love…”

I’m excited to announce that I will now be hosting this most excellent party each week, along with:

JanineJanine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
KateCan I get another bottle of whine?
StephanieMommy, for Real
Me: Finding Ninee

Dawn, from Dawn’s Disaster, has decided to move on and will no longer be hosting, although she will still come and play with us when she can by linking up. Please stop by Dawn’s Disaster and thank her for the excellent host-work she’s done in making Finish the Sentence Friday such a fun hop to participate in each week.

Then, come back and link up!

  • Janine Huldie - Oh man, I try my best not to let thoughts like this consume me, but yes I do have my moments, too, but wish my thoughts looked like your drawings. Seriously you always leave me in awe of them. And I am really so happy you are joining us now every week and can’t tell you how happy and excited I am!! 🙂August 8, 2013 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Completely love your pictures. And yes, you do have rather a habit of crashing into things sideways at the last moment, huh? S’ok – it’s endearing – you pull it off.

    So excited for you with the hostess gig. Congrats 🙂August 8, 2013 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Those same thoughts go through my head every time I fly…. so morbid! But having little ones make us think that way I guess. Love the pictures!August 8, 2013 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Kristi, I feel like I’ve just visited my own head. Honestly, it scared me a little. From the procrastination and our similar introductions to imagine death to buying the shoes that cost $100 because they didn’t cost $300. Of course you did this more brilliantly then I could ever have. You continue outdoing yourself every week. LOVED.August 8, 2013 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

  • dawn - I love the pictures you did to correlate with your thoughts. I had a co-worker that used to call that “HotDogging”. One day, we were in a meeting and our boss asked her a question about make up and she answered, “I think I’ll have a hot dog and fries. Maybe with pickles…what did you ask?” So, our boss asked her how she got to where she was…her thoughts went something like this:
    Make up is my job~I love my job~I love my husband~My husband likes shoes~We need to get him new shoes~Maybe we can get dinner with that~I can’t wait for the state fair~I’ll get a hot dog and fries…and the rest is verbal history!

    Can’t wait to link up with you in the near future 😉
    ~dawnAugust 8, 2013 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    maybe all moms/parents have these thoughts? And thanks, you. I’m excited to be hosting every week. Look. This week already made me not procrastinate!

    Yeah. Sideways. Sigh. Thanks though!

    UGH it’s awfully morbid and awfully awful! Let’s stop doing it!

    I bought the shoes. Sigh.

    Hey! Hotdogging!! I love that! I do the same thing. I guess we all do and thank you so much. I hope, very much, that you’ll continue to come play. Very very best of luck in all of your new ventures.
    —-August 8, 2013 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie Chenell DeNeen - Your pictures are hilarious. Procrastination can be a really good thing too…as long as I’m not married to one. Ahahaha! But really, procrastination can save you a lot of trouble.August 9, 2013 – 2:11 amReplyCancel

  • Mom Rants and Comfy Pants - This post scared me because I felt like maybe I had written it. But then again, I procrastinate too much so that couldn’t have been possible. And you have totally cute pictures so I just KNEW I didn’t write it. But I could have. It was scary how similar our thought processes are!!August 9, 2013 – 2:34 amReplyCancel

  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - Love, love, love your pictures. Yep, that same fear hits me at random times too – usually when I’m about to have some sort of independent fun. How you can make such a morbid subject so amusing is quite a talent. Have a great day!August 9, 2013 – 6:11 amReplyCancel

  • karenq - Okay I am laughing so hard right now because I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. Hubby gets mad at me for the same illogical thinking. I worry about that all the time then wind up crying thinking that Dino will grow up without me and never know me. I worry when I go out with him and do my version of a scan, freaking out and looking for the safe place to hide or run if something were to happen. you are so not alone babe…thank you for sharing it.August 9, 2013 – 6:25 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I do this. I think I wrote that in a comment to you before. It was a day like this too I think where I was meeting my dad halfway to pick up Christopher or either I was driving all the way to go get him. It’s like I hold my breath for the entire back and forth exchange and I feel good when everybody is back where they belong. One recently while Christopher was gone was my husband had to drive out of town for a doc appt. It was raining really hard. I didn’t want to go anyway but what was going on in my head was if was going to be in a car accident, it didn’t need to happen to both of us. Isn’t that terrible. I definitely don’t like all my people being on an airplane at the same time either. Anyway I went with him out of town, the sun came out, we are all fine. I’ll get glad when I am back later on today. Totally freaked out now.

    P.S. I’ve got a stupid on sale pair of shoes in the closet right now. BRANDFREAKINNOWOUTOFSTYLENEWAugust 9, 2013 – 7:47 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - MomRants,
    Can we chalk it up to great minds thinking alike? 😉

    Thanks! Do all moms do this???

    Love how you look out for a safe place to run and hide in case of a disaster!

    Sorry I freaked you out but I totally get not going in the car because an accident is better if it doesn’t happen to both of you! I’m glad it’s not just me.
    Sigh to the shoes. Sigh sigh. Stupid sales.
    August 9, 2013 – 8:14 amReplyCancel

  • Maggie Amada - You’re not alone in wondering about your untimely death. I walk on the outside of the sidewalk in case an air conditioner plummets down (which happened once in St. Petersburg a couple of years ago). I avoid streets with a lot of cracks, in case there are sink holes (which happened in Florida once too). None of these happened to me, but they got imprinted on my mind and I’m scared something will happen to leave my kids motherless.August 9, 2013 – 8:21 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - It seems that I am one of the few who actually does not have thoughts about my untimely death. Until now, that is. So, um, thanks??? 🙂 Love, Love the pictures and congrats on the co-hosting gig!August 9, 2013 – 9:19 amReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - I’m such a procrastinator too- I also think I work best under pressure!

    Anxiety plagues me, though not quite as morbidly. For example, I got on a flight alone this week and was just thrilled that there were free cocktails (I had been bumped to first class) and no one to say, “umm, it’s noon and you’re drinking?” Because it had indeed been that kind of day. Already.

    But seriously, leaving my kids is a real fear, but I also try to remind myself that living with such fear will definitely impact them, where the chances of leaving them are slim- so I can’t trade worry over a slim chance for the very real impact of living by fear.August 9, 2013 – 9:54 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Hey, new co-host! I don’t think about my untimely death (until now, thanks a bunch) – but I do procrastinate about little things that I don’t want to do. When I finally do them, I feel so accomplished and wonder why I didn’t do them sooner. Not that it stops me from procrastinating the next time…August 9, 2013 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica Smock - As everyone has said, your pictures are incredible. They simply make the post hilarious! I do think that all of us have these thoughts. And, seriously, I don’t think I could handle being friends with anyone who didn’t procrastinate about all these little things.August 9, 2013 – 10:30 amReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Thanks to you, I now worry about laughing to death when I click over to see your artwork.

    Seriously, though, I’m sorry to hear you are tortured by such thoughts. So hard to think about for both you and Tucker (and Robert). Hugs to you.August 9, 2013 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

  • [email protected] - You are a riot. I don’t worry about my untimely death too much. Well, I didn’t till I watched Shark Week this week. Good grief.August 9, 2013 – 12:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Kristi, I’m laughing out loud at your wonderful cartoons. You have a gift!
    I’m also nodding in solidarity because I am reading your post while procrastinating my big writing assignment that’s due tomorrow. This is much more entertaining.
    When I was very young, my father passed away suddenly in front of me. While yes, I have grown up to be a productive and happy adult (for the most part, anyway) it has given me a lifetime of worrying about the same thing happening to my kids. Not only do I imagine weird satellite and plane crash scenarios about myself, I think of the weirdest things happening to my kids. Like my son was under the sturdy counter of our granite tabletop and I thought, “What if the table collapses and falls on him?” I’m sure the chances of that are less likely than aliens abducting us all.August 9, 2013 – 1:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Erica - Sitting on a toilet, contemplating your untimely death? I can’t handle it. Hilarious!August 9, 2013 – 1:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Shanique - I have some bad habits. Scratch that mostly bad habits. I’m pleased to see that I have another loyal procrastinating subject :)You shall be rewarded tomorrow for serving me faithfully 😀

    You are ever awesome dear Kristi 🙂 and your drawings are a riot. i love the toilet you. Well not love the toilet you you know. oh bugger let me hush. Great great post thanks for the laughAugust 9, 2013 – 1:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - I am glad I read your post, Kristi Rieger Campbell. Cause I travel in the same boat at times…and it can be so overwhelming that taking a single step becomes a burden.

    As Julie mentioned that procrastination is good as long as it is not with us 24/7.

    Happy Friday Kristi. 🙂August 9, 2013 – 2:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Surprise Mama - As always – love your post! Thanks for being the new hostess and I love your pictures!August 9, 2013 – 4:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - I needed a good chuckle – loved your post and all your imaginings. I must admit I do that sometimes. Fear can be a terrible thing.
    Thanks for stopping by. But have to tell your, that pound can’t cross the border! lolAugust 9, 2013 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I have got to get my act together to join in with this one of these weeks!! I have so many bad habits but one of them is not getting my posts done quickly. And I am such a procrastinator too. And worry incessantly when I am traveling that something will happen to me. Haha! I was meant to meet you. I’ll have to thank Dana from Kiss My List for that! Have a great weekend!August 9, 2013 – 8:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Well, if you are wearing $300 shoes, you will look damn good when you go. Sorry. I just couldn’t resist. The pictures also don’t help put me into a serious mood about death. See, it’s your fault, Kristi (have I gone too far?) Ok…deep breath, seriously, I do this too. My dad died when I was 11 and I do NOT want my daughter to have to go through what I went through. No one can die in this house, dammit! Nor in yours, dammit!August 9, 2013 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Choquette Pugliano - I am obsessed with dying and leaving Noah without me. He would carry on. He has his dad, his grandparents, his auntie and family and 28 cousins in this town. But he needs me. I know him the best. I love him the most. I cling to the railing when I walk up and down stairs for fear of falling head over feet and breaking my neck. Walking on wet cement TERRIFIES me because I might slip in it and fall and get a subarachnoid hemorrhage (brain bleed) and fall into a coma and take 4 days to die after they remove life support. I blame my crazy.August 9, 2013 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - I love the pictures & no you’re definitely not the only one that thinks of worst case scenarios!August 9, 2013 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - OMG, you’re scaring the living daylights out of me. But I do enjoy your drawings.August 10, 2013 – 1:25 amReplyCancel

  • Betty Taylor - I seems like we have many procrastinators out there. It surprising that we all get our blog posts written. Lol!

    I worried about dying after I had my last child. Since I was 40 when he was born I think I worried that at my age something could happen and I wouldn’t be around to raise him. He will be 19 in a little over a month. He is leaving for college in less than two weeks. I am not as concerned about things now. I would like to be around a long time and enjoy his children though!August 10, 2013 – 2:06 amReplyCancel

  • Raising Reagan - I was laughing through this whole post! You crack me up! Love your pictures. I wish I could be more of a procrastinator. As a matter of fact.. I’m going to start right now!

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo.
    Raising-Reagan.comAugust 10, 2013 – 5:55 amReplyCancel

  • Tricia Heinrich - Right now I am procrastinating. I should be getting ready for the gym but am reading this instead. Several bad habits at once…August 10, 2013 – 1:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Evans Hall - I used to have a really vivid imagination and would often imagine my death. Mostly I imagined how sad everyone would feel after I died, particularly people that had been mean to me or I had had a fight with. It’d be so vivid that I would work up tears. I try to get rid of those thoughts now, but they sometimes still come. I think I struggle more with worrying about kids dying. I hate that. Oh, and I procrastinate too – which is pretty much what my post is about. I can’t follow through.August 10, 2013 – 1:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - I am SO glad you wrote about this. I do this ALL the time. It is compulsive and crazy and it bothers me to no end. I’m not sure if I do it more imagining my own demise or something horrible happening to my kids. Either way, it sucks. And have I mentioned how thrilled I am that you are a FTSF now? I’m pretty sure I have, but I’ll say it again. SO happy. 🙂 xoAugust 10, 2013 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Undiagnosed but okay - You don’t have enough to procrastinate about so you thought hey let me host another hop. Nothing like self-induced deadlines to start having you think of more doomsday scenarios.

    On and aliens only happen in the Mid-west, I think.August 10, 2013 – 7:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - Apparently I have a few bad habits…I’m a know it all like Kerri and a procrastinator like you. I also pick my nose if I don’t think anyone is looking – but don’t worry, I always clean my hands when I’m done.August 10, 2013 – 7:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - I am also a procrastinator but it means I work best under deadlines- otherwise I just let things slide. I haven’t had a habit if imagining my death but I’m sure it is something a lot of moms worry about!August 10, 2013 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - Do you know why I love you? Because you’re me. I think I said that the first time you brought this up. But I really am terrified of Isaiah growing up momless. But mostly because we both know that Mr ADD his father could not raise him. And that would suck hard, and then my overbearing sister and her too loud yelling husband would have to raise him, and now I’m having a panic attack. Thanks for that.
    Don’t worry, you’re not crazy, you’re right.August 11, 2013 – 1:50 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - love the pictures. I too, used to worry about flying without my kids and leaving them motherless. It is easier now that they are grown. I seem to be a procrastinator in some areas of my life. As far as bad habits. I have way too many to list, but my husband would say my travel bug. I’m like a travel addict and it is very annoying to people who do not feel the same way I do. Of course, I don’t understand why they don’t want to travel as much as I do. Hope your weekend was super!August 12, 2013 – 5:21 amReplyCancel

  • The Pink Roller Coaster - Oh my god, Kristi, I just laughed my way through this entire post. Too funny!

    But you know, my friend, it sounds like you have a vulnerability problem. 🙂 Okay, major self-help nerd alert…but have you read Brene Brown’s _Daring Greatly_? It’s about this very topic. She says one of the ways we protect ourselves from feeling vulnerable is by imagining horrible things happening to us or our loved ones (she calls it foreboding joy). She says that we think that if we worry about bad things happening, we’ll somehow be prepared for it if, god forbid, something bad really did happen, hence making us less vulnerable. But the truth is no matter how much we worry, or how many horrible scenarios we imagine, we are never, ever prepared. So might as well not waste time worrying, right? Obviously, I’m guilty of doing the same exact thing (which is why I read the book), but I figured I’d mention it to ya ’cause it really helped me. Okay, so I still worry (all the time), but at least when I do now, I make a mental note — “ah, yes, there’s that darn foreboding joy again.” Wow. I just somehow managed to get all serious (and nerdy) on your hysterically funny post. 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a kind comment on my post. And to answer your question about not taking walks here in Kuwait — there are two reasons. One is that people drive like maniacs here, and we have no sidewalks where we happen to live, so it just doesn’t seem like a good idea to be walking around on the side streets, especially with a stroller. Seriously, some people do, like, 100mph on these streets (and my husband has witnessed quite a few people get hit during the time that he’s lived here). And the second is that, while it’s all fun and games here for men (I’m sure your husband and mine could swap equally crazy party stories), for women it’s a bit different. I don’t have to cover up or anything when I go out, but kidnappings (and rape) are a real concern. Granted, it’s not typically American women, but we just choose not to risk it. DeMarko has had female friends approached by vans full or men, and my cousin and his wife (who both worked here a few years ago) actually had to leave because his wife had to deal with so much harassment. If I was by myself, I’d probably be more brave (I mean I ran around the streets of South Africa for god sakes), but with Liam I just don’t want to take any chances. So that basically leaves us in the apartment while DeMarko is working. It was quite an adjustment, especially since before we moved here Liam and I used to walk 3 miles a day (at least). It’s gotten easier over time, but luckily we’ll be moving home in April. Sorry… I just wrote a freakin’ novel over here!
    -BrigidAugust 12, 2013 – 6:37 amReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Bwahahahaha! You’ve hit every. Single. One. Of my imagined tragedies! And my worst habit. Procrastination. But I’ll worry about that one tomorrow…August 12, 2013 – 3:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Darcy Perdu - Love your pics!
    Completely identify with your paranoia!
    I can whip myself into a frenzy of catastrophe at the drop of a hat!
    (That hat is infected with a contagious flesh-eating virus!)August 12, 2013 – 7:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - I knew where this one was going. 😉

    I can relate… the other day I was freaking out because my dog is always in the corner of the apartment where there is tons of cigarette and pot smoke (which is a whole other issue) and I said to Rayne it made me upset in part because dogs can get cancer, too, and those disgusting people were giving my dog cancer.

    And he was like, Geez, it must be exhausting to be you.

    True story.
    xoxoAugust 13, 2013 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Now I’m terrified that someone might plant lice on public restroom toilet paper. As though I needed one more thing to worry about while my children mark their territory in every restroom around the world. Ahhhhh!

    Love this!August 14, 2013 – 1:01 amReplyCancel

  • The Shitastrophy - First – love the pic’s – the briefcase of loot might be my favorite! I worry my kids will choke on their food. Not sure why, this has never happened to anyone I know, but they are 8 & 9 and I still make them eat their food at the table so that I will be around to swoop in and give the Heimlech (which I kinda – read don’t – know how to do). Oh and I say a prayer every time my plane takes off so it’s like a shield to save any impending doom. If I forget the prayer we will all perish.

    You know just your run of the mill things.August 14, 2013 – 10:11 amReplyCancel

  • Beautiful Day Mama - There’s a great song that goes: I’m a PRO (Pro what?) Pro Crastinator!August 23, 2013 – 12:07 amReplyCancel

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