Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Our Land – Through her Sister’s Eyes

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Today’s Our Land Series piece has been contributed by a returning author. She is a kickassawesome blog friend who gets much of what I feel when it comes to searching for a diagnosis. Our kids don’t have an autism diagnosis, but both have special needs. They are also both adorable and amazing. I have been continually grateful for Kerri’s input, experience, support and agreement that all children deserve Our Land.  A land where empathy and wonder rule.

Kerri authors Undiagnosed, but we are okay with that and continually amazes me with the fact that she’s able to blog while juggling a billion (not exaggerating) therapy appointments each week, her kids (she has another daughter as well), and her life.  She even manages to fit in a glass of wine now and again.  How could I not love her?

Without more ado-ness, here is her essay:

Our Land – Through her Sister’s Eyes

When Boo was born, we never shielded Abby from the truth about what her sister was experiencing. Although some might (and did) disagree, we took Abby with us on the car ride to Children’s emergency room. In truth, we thought that we would be taking Boo in for absolutely no reason. We mistakenly thought that we would be called over-reactive new parents and sent on our way.

Imagine our surprise when the staff hooked our newborn up to a heart monitor. Abby stayed with us until we were admitted. Then, she and David took the long ride home at 2am. She didn’t know what was going on. She was just 5 years old. The next morning she went to school and told them her sister was in the hospital. Her teachers, shocked of course, asked what is wrong with the baby. Abby’s response:

There is nothing wrong with Boo, she is perfect. She is just in the hospital.

Abby returned a couple of days later to find her sister hooked up to an EEG machine. The doctors thought Boo was having seizures. It turned out she just had a slow brain pattern. In typical 5YO fashion, when Abby returned to school she put the experience in words she could understand. She told her classmates that:

Boo has a funny pattern in her brain.

christmas,08 025Since then, there have been many variations to the theme with Abby. At nine, she will tell someone that her sister has special needs. Not really understanding what it means, other than her sister is in therapies and maybe takes longer to do things than other children. By attending Boo’s hospital room, therapy room and doctors office Abby has a unique empathy for those who struggle.

The blessing is that she doesn’t see the struggle but the successes.

Boo doesn’t have to get better. She is just Boo.

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I give a lot of credit to Boo’s huge advances to the love and patience Abby demonstrates. The way she patiently goes through all the words before giving her sister a cookie. The way she cheers her on when Boo takes her first steps on the grass. Or, when Boo is upset by the snow, Abby calmly tells her it is safe.

All in all, Abby thinks her sister is kind of cool. Not many siblings run off the bus and into one another’s arms. Not many sisters will spend hours pushing her sister on a swing at just the right pace (faster than mom would like by the way).

Not many children can say that their name and not momma/dada were their younger sister’s first words.

In the morning when Boo awakes the first thing she does is call for Abby to come get her out of her room.

When I look at Boo through Abby’s eyes, I do not see the way Boo is different from other children in her class. Rather, I see Abby’s little sister.

I wish the World would see her sister, too.

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SNIFF! That last line gets me every time, all of the times. More about my awesome friend Kerri:

me and bKerri is the mom to two beautiful girls, one of whom likes to keep her and the medical world at large guessing. When not at her paying job, you can find her trying to keep some type of balance between being a wife, mom and puppy trainer. Based on how poorly trained the puppy is…she is having a hard time with balancing it all.

This has been an Our Land Series post that began because of this.  If you’d like to contribute, you do not need to be in the special needs community.  You do need to want to make the world more full of acceptance, equality, empathy and wonder.

Kerri’s photo credits:  Family Tree Photography


  • Dana - You have two extraordinary daughters, Kerri. It’s clear that the each bring so much joy into their sister’s life. At that Abby- she’s gonna do big things. BIG.January 8, 2014 – 9:43 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Dana,
    I so agree!! Big, huge, wonderful things!January 8, 2014 – 9:44 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Thanks, Dana. I am constantly amazed by Abby.January 8, 2014 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • nothingbythebook - Sibling love is magic.January 8, 2014 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - First of all, you have two beautiful daughters, Kerri! I love those photos. Second, they both sound like amazing girls. It’s wonderful that Abby is so patient and understanding with Boo. That must make your life easier, as well as encourage Boo. And what character Abby is building. I agree with Dana; she is going to do big things! 🙂January 8, 2014 – 10:30 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - NBTB,
    Total magic.

    Jessica,
    I love the photos too! And yes to the big big things 🙂
    January 8, 2014 – 10:38 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Your daughters are beautiful. I love that Abby is so patient with Boo…clearly they have a special bond! I’m going to agree with Dana too…I see big things in store for Abby!January 8, 2014 – 10:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michelle,
      I see big big things as well. I’m a little jealous that Tucker doesn’t have a sibling, actually….January 8, 2014 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Kerri, Abby is so sweet. And true….children have a unique talent of seeing the good in things, and it makes US happier! Thanks for sharing!January 8, 2014 – 10:41 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Nothing by the book–Sibling love is better than Santa, Disney or the Tooth Fairy!

    Jessica–I’m a little nervous for when Abby takes over world domination. But it would make life interesting!

    Michelle Liew–Abby really is that sweet and genuine. Amazes me every day

    MIchelle We are very lucky that Abby has the patience I wish I had!January 8, 2014 – 10:53 amReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Oh my goodness… Why do you not have a “crying ahead” warning on this one??? Precious. Simply precious.January 8, 2014 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - PMSing royally right, but either way am in tears right now front hat last line. Beautiful and love the sisterly bond here. Thanks for sharing Kerri and Kristi, too!!January 8, 2014 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but Okay - Kerith, thanks for your kindness.
    Janine, as the mom of two girls I know you get the bond they have that will never include us. Simply awesome.January 8, 2014 – 11:28 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I am sitting here weeping at how beautiful this post is…I have always been a big fan of Kerri’s blog and this piece is no exception. My favorite line: “There is nothing wrong with Boo. She is perfect. She is just in the hospital.” What a gorgeous, strong bond your two daughters share…they are so lucky to have each other.January 8, 2014 – 11:34 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Emily, thank you so much for your kind words. Sorry I made you weep! I consider us very lucky indeed that the girls have the bond. It is unlike anything I have ever witnessed.January 8, 2014 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - So beautiful, Kerri. Abby’s got such an amazing spirit, and a wonderful relationship with Boo. Completely precious, and I would also assume that it’s in no small part down to your parenting. Kudos to you for setting her such a good example, getting her involved with Boo’s treatments and therapies and visits, and not keeping her in the dark.

    Very well said.January 8, 2014 – 11:54 amReplyCancel

  • erin - Oooh, sibling fever going on in my heart….I pray we are able to have a sibling like Abby for Evan. Loved this piece.January 8, 2014 – 11:59 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Thanks, Lizzi!
    Erin, I think every child should have an older sibling like Abby. My wish for you is that you someday get to see the magic first hand.January 8, 2014 – 12:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - That gave me shivers! Abby and Boo are so lucky to have each other.January 8, 2014 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I am sitting in my car waiting for my own daughter to finish her guitar lesson and tears are rolling. Happy ones. Your Abby is what is right in this world and I truly believe it’s because you never tried to hide what is from her. You are all in it together and that’s a wonderful way to be. Your girls are both so beautiful, Kerri. Those pictures speak volumes.January 8, 2014 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I used to read your blog a year or so ago, so I was stunned to see how much Boo and Abby have grown! So nice to get this beautiful update. My son Des was in the NICU at birth and it was heartwarming to hear my three-year-old wrap her head around it. He was in there because my water was broken for more than 24 hours before his birth and they wanted him on a week of antibiotics to make sure he didn’t get an infection. Well my daughter would tell people that he was born but just wasn’t big and strong enough yet to come home, but he would soon. (he was 8 1/2 pounds but I loved her reasoning)January 8, 2014 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Angel thanks for commenting. They are very lucky indeed.
    Sandy, Sorry to make you cry 🙂 I think it was the right course for our family, never hiding what was and is going on. At least it has worked so far!
    Tamara welcome back. They have grown over the past year for sure. It is always amazing how kids rationalize what is going on. I’m just lucky enough Abby never makes me wonder what is going on in that brain of hers.January 8, 2014 – 6:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - So I love this because my first is named Abby, too, and she is always such a little caretaker of her little brother. It is so amazing to see the love between siblings. Boo is so fortunate to have such a great big sister. I love the way she explained her sister’s conditions….January 8, 2014 – 8:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - You know what is so cool is we never gave Abby the words. She just came up with a way to explain Boo to her peers in a way that worked for all of them. Equally cool we both have Abby’s 🙂January 9, 2014 – 9:48 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - beautiful! just beautiful. I’m sharing.January 8, 2014 – 9:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Mytwicebakedpotato - Both of your girls are beautiful. Loved this! What a blessing to see that sibling bond continue to grow! Thanks for sharing 🙂January 8, 2014 – 9:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Forever Five Blog - I am crying as I write this. The love you described between your girls is beautiful, but so much more than that. I have 3 girls, so sisterly love touches me deeply. Abby’s relationship with Boo sounds exquisite. Thank you for putting that into words so eloquently, Kerri:).January 8, 2014 – 9:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Thank you, Lisa. The love they share is quite beautiful and so unlike what I ever had with my siblings. So they constantly amaze me.January 9, 2014 – 9:51 amReplyCancel

  • Ilene@TheFierceDivaGuideToLife - This is such a gorgeous post in every way possible. I loved reading about both of your daughters and particularly, seeing Boo through Abby’s eyes. We all have something to learn about focusing on the success and the good and versus the struggles…and a reminder that maybe we don’t have to change or grow or get better but it’s ok to just be who we are.January 8, 2014 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Yes! Focusing on the successes. I think without Abby I might worry more and focus on the struggles. Thanks for putting it just right!January 9, 2014 – 9:52 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Oh, those pictures! Tonight, a big part of the world, Kristi’s Our Land world, gets to see Boo as Abby does. And we get to see both of your daughters through your eyes. A beautiful sight…just like the pictures!January 8, 2014 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - The imagery you create with your words, combined with the beautiful visuals of those photos paints an amazing picture of your family’s love, Kerri. Thanks for sharing this beautiful glimpse into your world. You are a wonderful mama.January 9, 2014 – 12:16 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Oprah style ugly cry right at my computer right now. What a beautiful post in every way. Sisters are amazing, but that Abby definitely takes the cake! :)-AshleyJanuary 9, 2014 – 10:00 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - That is so incredibly sweet and heartwarming! I have three daughters. They don’t always get along, but when they do – when they stick up for each other or show concern for one another – if is definitely something special. What Abby and Boo have is certainly special as well. What a beautiful post and beautiful pics, too!January 9, 2014 – 1:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - I think some of the beauty of Boo being a-typical is that I don’t have to endure the typical sibling fights, hysterics and she wore my shirt!!!January 10, 2014 – 1:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Bless her heart. I do wish that other people saw her the way she does. Boo is lucky to have such an amazing sister who loves her with everything she has.January 9, 2014 – 2:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - The lesson that children can show us the way never gets old, does it? Kerri, you put a beautiful spin on that lesson. Bravo to your daughters. And omg those photos.January 9, 2014 – 4:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Be still, my heart. I love the simplicity with which you convey such profound ideas. It’s almost like this is written by Abbey herself. What beautiful girls, what a beautiful relationship.January 9, 2014 – 10:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Thank you, Katia. If Abby wrote the post I am sure it would have been filled with fairies that brought her such an awesome sister.January 10, 2014 – 1:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Oh, I just love this. I am very close with my sister, and I think there is a special bond there that not many people can understand without experiencing it. I’m so warmed by the idea that Abby’s love and friendship has been instrumental in Boo’s development. sniff sniff. Beautiful post.January 9, 2014 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - See, that is just it, Deb. I’m not close to my siblings at all. We go YEARS without speaking to one another. It is not what I want for my girls. Thankfully their relationship is organic and intuitive. They just love one another and I know they will not be over 40 and the only village they have is the one they created out of a mix of friends and in-laws!January 10, 2014 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

  • K - “There is nothing wrong with Boo, she is perfect. She is just in the hospital.” This line gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.

    Words cannot express how much I love this post! It was written so beautifully, and the ideas it conveys are so, so important. Everyone could learn something from Abby, and the entire world should read this. This was the highlight of my day; thank you. xoxoxoJanuary 10, 2014 – 7:41 pmReplyCancel

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