Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Three things I don’t want my son to get for Christmas

There are certain toys that we don’t exactly welcome with glee and abandon this holiday season. Some fall in the category of obvious, like guns with darts that will most likely end up in my eye, messy craft crap that isn’t worth it, baby toys because Tucker’s delayed, and well, toys that he won’t, and can’t get.

Other than the humiliation that I felt when telling my step mom that, no, Tucker would not appreciate the Highlights Magazine for six to ten-year-olds, even though his cousin would, there are other things I’m hoping Santa doesn’t bring this year.

making list image

 

Three things I don’t want my son to get for Christmas:

  1. Adipose and other potentially life-threatening explodable stress-toys. Last year, we visited my friend Julie’s house at Christmas. Her daughter, Sadie, had received Adipose, after watching Dr. Who. Tucker fell in love with Adipose on our visit with them, snuggled him, laughed with him, ran with him, and called him Baby.
    EEEP! Adorable! Image credit: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e5ed/

    EEEP! Adorable! Click for image credit

    Of course, months later, when he saw Adipose in a book store, pointed, and said “Baby!” we bought “Baby” for Tucker.

    I think Baby lasted four days, before Tucker’s sensory-seeking teeth got the best of him, and Baby exploded white foamstuff everywhere. Because the original box was not labeled “non-toxic,” I called Poison Control (Baby was not toxic). Later, made a donation to them once I realized what a great service that Poison Control is.

  2. More Legos. At one point, I envisioned adorable shelves in Tucker’s room showcasing assembled garbage and fire trucks, airplanes and helicopters, Superman cities, and robots. Instead, I have three boxes of teenytiny pieces that belong to God-knows which vehicle and all likely have a missing key piece – eaten by the vacuum or swallowed by the couch. We also have a dozen Ziploc bags full of Lego kits that may or may not ever be reassembled. After painstakingly following step-by-step instructions, each creation has crashed, fallen apart or been used as trash for toy garbage cans and trucks. I’m wary of my ability to replicate construction without starting over. Building these things starting at step 52 continually proves too difficult for me.  Maybe one day, Tucker will be better at reconstructing them from scratch than we are. In the meantime, I’m hoping Santa doesn’t further add to the collection.

    Lego ziplock

  3. New Guys. “Guys” (stuffed versions of whatever) are great. Tucker loves his Guys. He loves the ones who live in a bin at the back of the couch. He loves his alligator. He especially loves the ones he sleeps with. Considering that he also sleeps with favorite books, and frighteningly sharp metal airplanes, I’m relieved that he now also includes Bear, Bear Other, Mickey, Frog, Horse, Cat, Lamb, Tennessee Vols Pillow, and Curious George One and Curious George Two in bed. So, while he loves them, I say “enough, already!”  I know that one day, I’ll cherish these Guys, and frankly, keeping more than a dozen for all eternity doesn’t match my vision of having a relatively clutter-free retirement. Selfish, I know.

    All guys are not shown, and yeah, I did sneak in for a photo, riskimg...

    All guys are not shown, and yeah, I did sneak in for a photo, risking a wake-up for this post.

I guess that there are things I’m asking you to not get my son for Christmas. Some of my blog friends feel the same, so we did this fun little carnival thing:

Jean, from Mama Schmama: My child-models deserve the best at Christmas

Katia, from I Am The Milk: The Gift that. JUST. KEEPS. ON. GIVING.

Jen, from My Skewed View: Dear Santa, Please Don’t

Rachel, from Tao of Poop: Santa Employs Sweatshop Labor

Sarah from Left Brain Buddha: Holy Testosterone, Batman! Why Are Superheroes So ANGRY These Days?

Stephanie, from Mommy, For Real: Thanks for Nothing, “American Girls”- Why I Hate American Girls Dolls

Sarah, from The Sadder but Wiser Girl: Flaming Pillow Pets and Other Christmas List Nos

Tell me? What is it that you hope nobody buys your kid this holiday season?


  • Mytwicebakedpotato - Oh dear god! I hope we don’t get any fricking musical instruments!!December 12, 2013 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I share that frustration when people give your child a gift that is too advanced, even if it is age-appropriate. Just a little reminder for you.
    Also, my kidlets have their “guys,” but we call them their “friends.” They sleep with a mess of them like Tucker. It’s so cute.
    I’m actually having a thing right now with my MIL about a gift. She wants to renew a magazine subscription for Maggie, but she already gets another magazine subscription in a similar vein from another relative. So, I said, as nicely as I knew how, “Thanks, but no thanks.” This has caused trouble, and I cannot find a way to communicate my philosophy that just because you can afford it, it doesn’t mean she needs it. She gives my kids mountains of presents, and sometimes I just want to say enough is enough.December 12, 2013 – 2:19 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - I ask relatives not to give toy guns to my son. We respect that other parents allow it but we don’t. It would be hard to see your kid open a gift and sees a toy which you will have to end up throwing or giving away. So I just ask them politely ahead. 🙂December 12, 2013 – 3:23 amReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - Anything that is super messy or super complicated. I can be brought to my knees putting together some of the stuff that is out there! Also, I’m not looking forward to getting out my tools just to OPEN a remote control car!!! (Or, a million other toys that are packaged as if there contents were gold). Merry, merry!! Lol! 🙂December 12, 2013 – 4:10 amReplyCancel

  • Jen Lauren Schneider Kehl - LOL Legos! I almost took a picture of our loft, you can’t walk in there because of all the freaking legos! And forget “age appropriate” legos. I have to build whatever the thing is, then when he destroys it 15 times I have to re-build it again. AND THEN I’m done. And so, legos all over the floor!December 12, 2013 – 6:11 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Love it how his animals are all named for what they are. Christopher has one “guy” named Timothy because he came with a name tag. I’ve never seen Adipose or heard of them. I haven’t jumped on the Dr. Who bandwagon but he looks kinda creepy to me. Stephanie’s title caught my eye so I’ll have to go check hers out too.December 12, 2013 – 6:50 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Anything with tiny pieces. Any crafting kit of any kind. Any gift that requires my participation in order for said toy to be used. Love this post!-AshleyDecember 12, 2013 – 8:20 amReplyCancel

  • Jean - I’m right with you on those LEGOS. We do the big kid ones now too and it has to be done with an adult. He likes to carry around the figurines that frequently break apart. I have bags of creations that have been loved to pieces. Maybe we should ask for a container to hold them all this year!December 12, 2013 – 8:29 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - I love that the animals are “guys” (so much better, I find, than the word “stuffies”). I also love that this is just a portion of the guys!

    More importantly, you raise awareness to some really serious topics here and thank you so much for doing this, because it’s so easy to overlook the particularities of children that are not yours (I’m refraining from saying “children that are not typical” because I think that every child is typical but only of themselves). Last Sunday I took 4 to a birthday party with lots of kids from his class. It was a circus themed party. When one of 4’s friends did a handstand all of us mommies clapped and cheered him on. The kid took one look at us, ran to his mom and started crying. Apparently he hates being the center of attention. What I’m saying is that it’s so hard to know these things and that reading posts like yours really helps thinking things through more deeply or at least realizing what questions need to be asked when you purchase a gift for a child with developmental delays.December 12, 2013 – 9:42 amReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - Wait, are you one of those “Omg, my child can’t have a toy gun because it’s a gun!” people?

    I’m always leery about taking a picture of G$ while he’s asleep as well. It’s very risky. He sleeps with his magazines. I took a shot of him last night with his Forbes. Lol.December 12, 2013 – 9:50 amReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Legos. The gift that multiplies exponentially and finds its way onto the floor, right in your path, ensuring you step on it, invoking all the gods of pain. I feel you there.December 12, 2013 – 10:50 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I have a similar picture of my daughter with all her stuffed animals. It’s funny; she had Bear and Other Bear too – along with Baby Doll and Pinky. She could still tell you all of their names. How fun to see so many friends in one place – going to visit some others too!December 12, 2013 – 11:16 amReplyCancel

  • Real Life Parenting - YES!!!! At one point I threatened all of our family members that if they bought One More Godforsaken Stuffed Animal for the Girl that I was going make them take it back to the store and explain to a crying little girl why they hated her mom so much. She turns 13 next week … so she no longer plays with them, however she still has about 50 of them … she’s a Sentimental Keeper of All the Things, so even now, she can’t get rid of them. GAAAHHH!December 12, 2013 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Rebeccafaith - This is hilarious. I love the picture of him with his plethora of stuffed friends. All of these gifts are valid “do nots.” I hope he gets everything you want for Christmas! lolDecember 12, 2013 – 11:54 amReplyCancel

  • The Next Step - hahaha, so with you on all of those! we have not yet “graduated” to legos from MegaBloks, but I did just lose it the other day and tossed all three GIANT bags of MegaBloks out the door. Not a tear was shed by my kids, so the bags just might winter outside.

    I’ve about had it with all the stuffed animals too. I do recall never being able to get enough when I was little. I just can’t take any more!December 12, 2013 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I am with you on the Legos. They just make me mad. I haven’t heard of the other two and I think I’m glad that I haven’t. I love the picture of Tucker in bed with all his friends. So cute!December 12, 2013 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - You are SO right about the legos!!! I could add my own personal NO list here, but I will instead send it to Santa. LOLDecember 12, 2013 – 2:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama C. - So, is this what I have to look forward to with Legos, Kristi? It’s bad enough as it is with little people EVERYWHERE. I’m telling you I nearly lose a toe everyday when I step on one — sometimes two — before I even have my morning coffee. DS is just 27 months, so we only have the Mega Blocks now, and even those are like crab grass growing around the house. And about risking a wake-up. I appreciate you taking one for the team; that photo was totally worth it for this post! (I hope you snuck in a kiss, too. Nighttime kissies while they are asleep are absolutely THE BEST. LOL (Sorry, I posted this on FB when I initially planned to comment here. My lack of coffee is to blame. :-/December 12, 2013 – 2:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Oh, I remember those days – particularly the soft toy overload. What am I talking about? We still have soft toy overload, even though they are teenagers!
    And I smiled at Tucker sleeping with airplanes – my elder daughter once wanted to take one of Thomas Tank’s friends. I told her he was too hard, and we put him on her little table. Now she’d take the cat (real cat) if she could. So don’t assume he’ll grow out of it! 🙂

    I’ve never seen Adipose before but glad to hear he isn’t toxic!December 12, 2013 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - OMG, my heart is melting over the “guys!” I love it! I know for a fact that at least 250 more Legos are making their way into our home this holiday. Good Gawd. And that white foam stuff- that sucks. A lot. Here’s hoping for a bunch of awesome, developmentally appropriate, not-noisy, not-messy, non-Guys/legos. Which leaves?… cookies?December 12, 2013 – 4:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ undiagnosed but okay - Omg my MIL is the worse offender. I combat them by sending a Boo needs Xyz email every NovDecember 12, 2013 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - We have so many legos around the house it drives me crazy! and the guys! Oh the guys!!! My children’s closets vomit stuffed animals.
    Just sayin’ I hear ya!December 12, 2013 – 5:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - omg…the “guys”…yes. I never thought boys would be so into stuffed animals! We have thousands, and I wish I were exaggerating!

    thankfully they were only into legos for about a year so we have less legos than stuffed animals. Stuffed animals hurt way less to step on in the middle of the night. You don’t cuss or anything.December 12, 2013 – 6:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama Doesn't Need New Shoes - So, is this what I have to look forward to with Legos, Kristi? It’s bad enough as it is with little people EVERYWHERE. I’m telling you I nearly lose a toe everyday when I step on one — sometimes two — before I even have my morning coffee. DS is just 27 months, so we only have the Mega Blocks now, and even those are like crab grass growing around the house. And about risking a wake-up. I appreciate you taking one for the team; that photo was totally worth it for this post! (I hope you snuck in a kiss, too. Nighttime kissies while they are asleep are absolutely THE BEST. LOLDecember 12, 2013 – 7:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m with you on the stuffed animals. My girls have so many of them. There’s also a new Build A Bear store that opened close by recently. Two of them got birthday certificates for there and were thrilled. I just can’t take anymore stuffed animals!December 12, 2013 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I am laughing because I got a stuffed Adipose in the mail today for winning a ton of Doctor Who goodies in a photo contest. (none of this is surprising, right?) Anyway it can’t explode any good but it does make noises when you press its belly!
    Not so bad.
    And really any small parts toys anymore. Every princess toy Scarlet gets has a dozen choking-hazard accessories attached! Luckily Des doesn’t put non-food in his mouth or I’d surely lose my mind.December 12, 2013 – 8:56 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - Why can’t family just give money? Money is good. Money is nice. Money buys appropriate stuff. Money.December 12, 2013 – 8:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - Yes, no more guys for this house either…. *weakly* PLEASE? We’re drowning in stuffed animals!December 12, 2013 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Don,
    Because you are a whiny bitch, you get the first response in this world’s worst comment system.
    While I don’t like guns, I still let Tucker have water guns, but no, it’s more that I value my eyeballs and the kid has no concept of not aiming at people. LOVE that G$ sleeps w magazines!! Tucker sleeps w books and sharp toys too. I like to think the guys offer some protection.December 13, 2013 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Alana Terry - Isn’t poison control great? Have them on speedial. (My boys all went through mushroom phases!)December 14, 2013 – 7:20 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - We are also the proud owners of way too many “guys” here. Kidzilla just loves them – falls in love with them and that’s the end of that. We are going to have to get better at resisting those furry little faces…December 14, 2013 – 4:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb Gaisford - If you were my husband’s wife, you’d be super worried about the Lego thing…. So funny!December 15, 2013 – 1:29 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Oh Legos…I love when you are missing that one little piece that you need. This is why when we had them, the kids could attempt the project and after that they all went in the big Lego bin for them to create their own creations. No need for meltdowns for lost pieces which of course happens every single time! Or when you step on them! I’m glad our lego days are over!December 15, 2013 – 9:57 amReplyCancel

  • Susannah Martin - Holy crap! I didn’t know that they sell adipose. That’s just creepy. You know they are blobs of fat, right?December 16, 2013 – 3:20 amReplyCancel

  • A Morning Grouch - Hah, I can already see this stuffed animal thing becoming OUT OF CONTROL. And like your kiddo, baby grouch seems to LOVE them all. Ah!!December 16, 2013 – 3:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Legos, legos everywhere! I just did my own Lego Post and I totally get it but my son plays with them ALL THE TIME. It’s really the only thing on his list, those sets.
    I don’t even bother to tell people not to get my kids something for Christmas. I have family members (hubby’s side, of course) who will do it anyway. If I don’t want them here, they just quietly go away.December 16, 2013 – 7:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Lego’s rock and can be so much fun to build things especially with the cool stuff they have these days. And then you step on one in your bare feet! That’s cool how you think things out ahead of time with gifts for Tucker. When I had the two little boys I quickly caught on to putting a screeching halt to purchasing gifts that were never going to be used. Drove me crazy! Oh, I slept with magazines in bed too, Kristi. It’s just that I was in high school 🙂February 14, 2014 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

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